Approaching School - son may have AS

[Pennygarden]

Hi everyone

 

I am new to the forum (brilliant and helpful) and new to AS - we have recently been informed that my son aged 8 may have it. The background to where we are is quite long, so I apologise in advance for the long post.

 

Since starting school, my son has endured bullying and teasing. His class teachers have always said they will keep an eye on him (but it tails off within days and the bullying starts again), however the headteacher had become defensive, to the point where she dismissed that there was a problem and "boys will be boys".

 

During last term, following more bullying and lack of help at the school, I contacted our local council and a Parent Support Adviser came to see me, then visited our son in school and his teacher/headteacher. This was around my concerns at him having few friends, being unable to retain them, his emotional development and the high level of anger that I have struggled to calm at home (seemingly frustration brought home from school).

 

The Adviser came back to me last week and felt that he was displaying an array of behaviours/symptoms that are consistent with ASD. Having been to my GP with the Adviser's report, he has been referred to be assessed. The Adviser will work with my son in school in September and myself to help the initial areas and also show him the All Cats have Aspergers book to see how much he relates. The PSA is also surprised that the school have not picked up on the many signs she saw in the 2 hrs she watched and then met with him. This is a good rural school, with smaller class sizes (19 in his). He is 2 years ahead in the 3 key areas and is well behaved, polite, but quiet in class. His teachers love him in the classroom as he is so easy to teach! The playground is another matter though.

 

I have now started to read up and so much of his behaviour fits ASD - in a way, it is a relief as I have started to change how I view his responses and am beginning to understand alot of his behaviour and communication.

 

My question (and apologies this is so long), is how do I approach the school given the Headteacher's previous attitude and responses and the fact that the HT is also the SEN key person, (having a disabled child herself)? Should I ask the Adviser to come to the meeting?

 

Also, when does the statementing process begin? Is it after he is assessed/diagnosed or is it started independently. Is there any action I can take during the school hols to further the process? After researching in the past few days, it is clear that the process is quite slow. Unfortunately we have to choose his next school in the autumn (we have 3 tier system here) and I suspect we will be in limbo somewhat as to what will be best for him.

 

I obviously need to meet with his teacher and the Headteacher to advise them of the PSA findings and actions in place (they are his 2 teachers for Year 4) as I cannot afford for the school to ignore or pay lip service to the bullying, which is always worse in the autumn term. I am dreading it.

 

Additionally, his father (we are separated but co-parent well and its amicable) has also dismissed that he might have ASD and won't talk about it. I do not know how to broach this again. It may be initial shock, but they are going on hols together soon and this is worrying me. I have changed the way I react to things with my son recently and it has reduced his angry outbursts and he seems less stressed/frustrated. I don't want to undo that good work.

 

If you managed to read this far, then thank you and any thoughts or advice on how best to deal with these areas would be very much appreciated.

[Enid]

Too tired to post a longer post at the mo! but one bit of advice is always take someone to meetings with you, always!!! Mine too are in a rural school with the head as teacher, senco and head! omnipotent!!! and I soo wish I had taken someone from outside the school to meetings all these years. sure someone else will be along shortly, good luck and welcome <'> Enid

[Kathryn]

Hi Pennygarden and welcome to the forum

 

You might find the following links on bullying useful The ACE booklet in particular has good practical advice on approaching the school. Definitely take the adviser with you, she sounds like a good ally and her presence will help the HT to take your concerns seriously.

 

NAS - Bullying

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp...068&a=10835

 

 

ACE - Booklet on tackling bullying

 

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice/booklets/Bullying.html

 

A diagnosis is not a prerequisite for a statement. Having said that, an assessment and firm diagnosis does help to provide important evidence towards it. As a parent you can start the process any time by requesting a statutory assessment yourself. It may well be refused, at the first time of asking, on the grounds that 1) your son is academically able and progressing normally, 2) the school hasn't done enough to support him from its own resources, and 3) there is little professional evidence of his needs so far. You need to think what evidence you could provide to counter these reasons which are frequently given by LA's when refusing assessments.

 

This is only my opinion, but it may be best to focus your efforts on getting the school to put in as much support as they can in the next year, before you think of going for a statement. Also, keep a diary of school related incidents and observations if you aren't already doing so.

 

K x

 

 

[Pennygarden]

Thank you for your responses and welcome.

 

I have started to write down anything (and everything it seems!) that I'd originally put down to his personality/being an only child, etc. There are also areas that his teacher picked up with me on previously - for instance, he has always struggled to copy from the board and she gives him a handout of it instead. He is rarely able to complete work in the lesson - this is noted on all his school reports. So I will start a folder and highlight these points to build the case. There are also all the accidents at school - lots of tripping over, banging himself. In the last 2 weeks of term he had a sprained right ankle, followed by a broken toe on his left foot. He does have a noticably odd running gait too.

 

School noted that my son made above average progress in the Summer Term which is great, but I also stopped working full time in March and was able to pick him up when school finished and he stopped going into After School Club (where the Leader was great and looked after him, but he was subjected to the usual name calling and being pushed around by one boy inparticular and often I found him in tucked away in a corner reading to himself). I wonder if this is linked to his improvement in class.

 

I will contact the Adviser this week and update her on the GPs referral going ahead and request her to attend the school meeting. She is a great lady - kind, but assertive and has stood up to the HT with other parents in similar circumstances from what I know.

 

Thanks Kathryn for the links - with 5 weeks of schools hols to go, I will make good use of the time in researching, reading, preparing and making lots of notes.

 

A statement would be key to getting my son into the school that his one school friend will go to in Sept 2010- we are way outside of catchment and its usually oversubscribed. It is good on both a SEN and academic level. The Adviser mentioned working with my son on school transition, as I've made her aware of this too. I think I will ask in September for this process to begin, the worst they can do is say no.

 

I've read about School Action Plans - Kathryn is that something that I could ask for if they say no to the statement process?

 

My mum mentioned to me yesterday that I should also speak to my Aunt - although now retired, she was a teacher in mainstream, specialising in SEN.

 

Today we are off to the local library and I'm hoping to find some more reading material. I am definitely on a mission!

[Kathryn]

Hi Pennygarden,

 

Now you've explained the situation I can see why you want to push for a statement now. You're right, you have nothing to lose, and if they refuse to assess you have the option of appealing to the SEN tribunal. I hope I didn't sound too negative in my previous post: I think it helps to be aware of the possible pitfalls in advance and then you can arm yourself with the right evidence.

 

School Action/School Action Plus - you don't have to wait for the outcome of the statementing process to suggest this, and it's better not to. Before deciding whether to proceed with Statutory assessment / statementing, LA's will expect a child to have been on either or both of these school- based stages of SEN support anyway. It will help your son's case if the school can show clear evidence of the measures they have taken to support him.

 

Your aunt may be able to provide further useful advice - for free (at least I'm assuming so! ) She may also have contacts in the profession who can provide independent assessments, should you need them.

 

K x

Edited July 27, 2009 by Kathryn

[Pennygarden]

Thanks again for your help and suggestions.

 

Aunt wasn't around today, will have to wait a bit longer to interrogate her!

 

After listing things that sprang to mind about his behaviour etc, I'm now separating those into home and school. I've started a diary going forward too. Hopefully that will all help for the meeting.

 

Will the LEA accept private assessments? If they do that would presumably speed the process up and help, given the timescales for middle school applications are short.

[lynne]

 

 

Hi Pennygarden,

 

You need to forget what happened it the past because you can not undo it. But you can change what happens from now.

 

1) I request a statement now there is a sample letter on the IPSEA page. This will start off the process on having him accessed, the school will have to look indetail at his difficulty and report back to the LEA along with the Ed psy and any one else who has conducted observation or has written reports or diagnoses. It will also give you a time to put forward your concerns worries etc. Plus having out side people going into school can help the attitude of the teachers to change or provide the school with the advice and support they need to put into place.

 

2)I would have a meeting with the person who went in to assess him and write down her key points

 

3) Arrange a meeting with senco headteacher and teacher re there worries and concerns and than go over what the problems the person with the assessment made.

 

4) Identify what sort of support the school are going to put in to address the problem. For example if it is dinner time, he could spend some time inside school if he likes to read or be alone. Or he could be involved in a circle of friends group. This is where this group discuss there worries and concerns (remmber there are other children with difficulties) and come up with a solution supervised by the teacher. This group also support each other. Or there may be a budding system. This may automatically put your child on action plus.

 

5) I would also question why the school could not see your childs difficulties and therefore need training to identify his needs and how to support his needs. This may be from formal training or an ASD teacher going in to train the staff who than pass the skills onto other staff.

 

6) I would also request a visit for you son from the ASD team employed by the LEA. There are several different names for this team and the child does not have to have a daignosis to be seen. There just needs to be concerns. They will than identify stratergies ect and help the school put this into place.

 

 

7) Lastly document everything and keep copies. So for example if you go to a meeting at school and problems A, B and C were discussed and treatment put in place, you would write............

 

Following the meeting dated .............attended by................................

 

The following problems were discussed......................

 

The support that is going to be put in place is.........................

 

Or from problem A you are going to seek advice and training off......................by ........................

 

Send a copy of this letter to the headteacher and keep a copy for evidence for your statement.

 

This letter identifies that the school are admitting problems even though they have not officially documented it.

 

 

 

 

Some schools and LEA will put lots of barriers in your way because it is not only expensive to go throught assessment for a statment but it is also time consuming, which is why alot of schools ignore problems. They are happy to deal with the aftermark of the problem and blame the child but not willing to look why the problem developed and what could of been put in place to stop it.

 

 

Don't worry about your husband it took my hjusband 6 years post diagnosis to admit he had a problem.

 

 

Good luck and get the ball rollng now.

 

 

 

[Pennygarden]

Lynne - that is excellent, thank you.

 

I am finding it easy to get lost amongst the varying services involved, processes and how it all fits together, so that is a great help.

 

Will be talking to the Adviser at the end of this week, hoping to form the strategy for September with her support.

 

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling more confident about handling this now, though I know its only the beginning and bound to be ups and downs.

 

 

[Kathryn]

Good luck.

 

In answer to a pervious question - many LA's are sniffy about private assessments, although the SEN Code of Practice says that they should consider all evidence of a child's needs.

 

As private assessments are expensive, it's wise to pick your professional carefully and ensure that they have a thorough understanding of the SEN process and be able to specify and quantify what your child needs in terms of support.

 

K x

[Pennygarden]

Update...

 

Following everyone's help on here, which I am very grateful for, we have had now had the school meeting. Attended by Headteacher, Deputy Head, Class teacher and the Parent Support Adviser. And me of course!

 

The Head is still maintaining a dismissive stance (gone from "boys will be boys" to "its hormones you know"), however his Class Teacher (of 4 days a week, 5th day taught by Head) noticed anxiety and social issues in the Y4 class trial days last term and was more accommodating. The PSA was brilliant and she drove the meeting with note taking and an Action Plan Plus was drawn up (much to the dislike of the Head as everyone had to sign it). The PSA has had one session with my son today and will be meeting with his Dad and I later this week. The school however don't seem to be keeping to the plan - he is meant to be able to come in at lunchtime when the being picked on gets too much - he asked for this last week, to be told No, then a Y1 tried to strangle him..he ended up choking and in tears. None of this has been relayed to me by school, but by DS and a classmate who got the Y1 kid off of DS. The PSA is picking this up with the school to reinforce the Plan.

 

Whilst we've been accepted for consultation/assessment by the NHS through our GP referral, the paperwork was lost, however long story short, we've been given a cancellation appointment for 14th October.

 

So that's the current position and we'll see how things go in the coming weeks. I have to say, I doubt if the Headteacher would have agreed to the Action Plan if it wasn't for the PSA being involved.

 

 

[JsMum]

I would from now begin a home diary of the incidents of any phsycial violence such as the incident where your son was choked, this really has to be delt with, also consider that the child who choked your son may also have some form of social or behavioural difficulties and thier parents may too be concerned of their own child, as a mother who has a child who has acted in similair ways found it near impossible to get support for social interaction support, it may well be that both sides are not getting their needs met, so I would keep a very detailed dairy of the incidents of just how far the bullying is been taken because its clear this is beyond boys will be boys and hormones, which will only get worse as they get into adolescent shoes and there a bit bigger and stronger, they need to deal with this now.

 

JsMumxxx

Edited September 22, 2009 by JsMum

[Sally44]

As you are at the beginning of the process it would be worthwhile contacting your local NAS support group and asking them when they will be doing a SEN seminar day. This includes the whole SEN process including Statementing.

Get yourself a copy of the SEN Code of Practice, there is a link on this website to download it. This gives you all the information about the SEN and Statementing procedure.

The SEN process if all about a graduated approach. So children identified as having difficulties are put onto School Action and then School Action Plus. At SAP stage that is when the school should call in outside professionals to assess a child. And it is worth knowing that SEN are not just about academic difficulties. However even if a child is academically bright, if they are not progressing as they could do due to difficulties, then those difficulties need to be addressed so that they make their potential progress eg. as already mentioned by you with having difficulties in copying down work from the board and needing his work printed out for him

Other areas of difficulty that can be addressed are Social Interaction or Social Use of Language problems. Having dinnertime clubs etc to help with difficulties with social interaction. A Speech Therapist should assess his speech and language skills as well as his social interaction skills. Being able to talk is not good enough. He may need to learn how to interact, join in, initiate conversations, take turns, give information etc.

If he has physical difficulties or handwriting problems then an OT can assess and advise on these and put together a programme to be carried out in school.

If he needs TA support to ensure he is on task and understanding what he should be doing then he should have support in class.

All of the above, if needed and put into place will give you a baseline. Ie. you will see if that causes improvements and progress and whether he becomes happier and less stressed/anxious and whether he learns new skills. If he does then great. If other areas of difficulty are identified then those can be targetted and support increased etc.

At SAP stage that is when an Individual Education Plan should be drawn up to plan targets on areas that need support. And these are also used when asking for an assessment towards a Statement. I think you need 2-3 IEPs before you request a Statement. It is important that IEPs are SMART and that progress or lack of progress is recorded as this is your evidence.

[Kathryn]

It's good to hear how you're getting on, and good luck for the assessment.

 

The PSA sounds like a real gem - wish there were more like that!

 

K x

[Karen A]

Hi pennygarden.

I am a bit late to your thread so a bellated hello.

I read through your posts and many things reminded me of our journey with Ben over the last few years.Ben is 11 and was diagnosed with AS last year.Nobody ever expressed any concern about Ben until he reached year 2 at primary school.Ben is bright and was regarded as a young man who had had lots of adult support and had a bit of an atititude problem.Fortunately a teacher who is a Forum member here and has a son with AS noticed that Ben was like her son and told me she wondered if Ben had AS.

The HT did not really understand that Ben might have AS.It was very difficult in primary school to obtain appropriate support for Ben even with a Statement.Even CAMHS debated at length regarding whether Ben could have AS.However last year a 3DI assessment showed that Ben did have AS after all.

Ben has just started at secondary school.We have had a few ups and downs.However he appears to be coping much better than expected.School appear to be able to value the strengths Ben has.Where there have been issues around bullying they are quick to deal with the issue and Ben is starting to trust that people will help him.

 

I joined the Forum soon after finding that Ben might have AS.I quickly became very active here.However my husband took a long time before he would even really think or talk about Ben having AS.Earlier this year my husband happened to read an article written by another dad in the NAS magazine.It was as though a light came on.He even wrote to the author.Soon afterwards we were invited to attend an NAS help course.I enjoyed the day because it was good to get know other parents but did not learn an awful lot.However my husband kept saying about every fifteen minutes ''That is like Ben...... ''

Anyway last week we recieved information about another course on teenagers with AS and anger management.I booked myself a place and then thought I would mention the course to my OH.He is now coming too.

I guess the point I am making in a rather long winded way is that sometimes it can take one partner a bit longer than the other to accept that a child might have AS.I found that too much pressure would not work but with time my husband has become more interested.Karen.

[Pennygarden]

Thank you for your comments, advice and support - it really does help me feel in the driving seat of something I am still so new too.

 

I have kept a diary for some time now, this has become quite a crucial piece of evidence, as apart from being forgetful (I live by lists ) so many seemingly small things that happen or he does (or does not do) are significant indicators of AS. Also reading other posts, I am picking up other more subtle things that I guess I just see as being normal because he's always done them and is an only child, so difficult to know.

 

Sally - Thank you so much for this, I am onto it!

 

Kathryn - Our PSA is very on the ball. She phoned me after meeting with DS and with ex-OH still in denial mode, she has planned her strategy for steering the meeting with him and I later this week. She has warned me some Dads stay in denial for years after diagnosis.

 

Karen - Thank you for sharing too, yes, I think I just have to accept that ex-OH might not get on board, but it means I am handling the fall out of his weekends away with him, where he is made to do things that now seem to be ASD..like showering and hairwashing/combing, big crowds, new foods and so many other things. Sometimes it is hard to get him to go as he says he'd prefer to stay with me, yet he does love his Dad and they do great father/son things together.

 

It is such a comfort to be amongst people in the same or similar boat and I already share the frustrations many have gone or are going through.

 

Chin up and a glass of wine is my tonic tonight!