obsessions

[jessie]

hi

I haven't posted for quite some time and see a lot of new names and some familiar ones too. My aspergers/adhd son is now 17 which I can't quite believe. We still have ours moments and they can still be pretty difficult when he kicks off, but they are becoming less and less

 

I know that our kids are prone to obsessions but I am becoming quite worried about my son. his obsession is that he is the only REAL person alive and that we are all somehow progammed. I know it sounds like THe Simms etc....but he just can't get the thought out of his head and is turning from a very energetic / in your face kid into someone who is becoming quite withdrawn.I have tried talking with him to reassure him, but he is almost becoming distressed by this thought. He has even asked if he can speak to our local gp which I guess would be a good move as it may develop into something bigger. has anyone else gone through this or similar/

 

On a plus note...before he got this thought in his head we have made so much progress over the last few years. He is still in school. Final year. He has been back nearly two weeks and no letters home. This is amazing. He now has a lovely girlfriend who seems to be quite oblivious to his strange ways. He has got some standard grade exams and even some int 2's and will sit all of the highers this year that he should have sat last year, oh and he's started learning to drive. Phew. just need t o sort out thoughts in his head now to get back on track....

thanks to anyone who has any ideas.

[JsMum]

 

 

Does he play fantasy games, my son has great difficulties in understanding reality and fantisy and its enhanced by him playing games, its very difficult to get him to seperate the two, has he watched any films that have this sanario, and my last thought would be is he using any drugs that would enhance his thoughts, cannabis ect...

 

Its good he wants to see a doctor, write a formal letter expressing your concerns and what kind of support you would like your son to recieve, and ask that this letter be placed in his file.

 

Withdrawal is another way of escaping the real world, it is also another sign to look out for depression, it maybe he has many pressures with school, final year and all that, relationship, learning to drive, its all stressful, especially the driving one, its very exhausting to listen to the instructions, concentrate on multie tasksing, so it could be he is doing too many things all together, I would look into CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, and councilling for him to have the opportunity to talk throw his difficulties, its great when our children achieve but the work it entials can also put a lot of pressure on them too to carry it on long term.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[justine1]

Hi Jessie

My son is much younger than yours he is six and while he doesnt believe we are all programmed he is very ME,ME,ME he thinks everything belongs to him and he is constantly right about everything he will get very angry when corrected.When we went to the GP recently a man was "sleeping" while waiting he kept saying that man shouldnt be sleeeping this is not his house people shouldnt do that and he just kept saying it and getting louder.I kept telling him to leave it but he began to get really upset saying the man was wrong not himself.This happens often and he has arguments all the time with adults and children but he just gets so upset becaause he honestly doesnt think anybody else is right about anything really he is the only one who is right.I dont really know how he will be when he is older he has been doing this since three and no matter how I try and teachers try to correct him he just wont listen,so I dont have any suggestions for you,but it is positive that he wants to see a GP so prehaps he can see what he believes may not be right.I wish you luck.

[jessie]

th you justine and jsmum. It is quite worrying as he becomes just that bit quieter about life in general. I hadn't thought ba about the drugs thing, and don't think it is that but I will try to tactfuly bring it up. He does play xbox but not too many fantasy games, but something has put this thought in his mund. And yes, he has always been a bit self obsessed and probably not too unlike your son js. Things have got to be right, and he likes rules and also knowing exactly what they are so he can break them. .....I am going to make an appoinmment with our gp as a starter. God idea about the letter.

 

thanks again

jessie

[Sally44]

Have you asked your son why he thinks people are programmed. He might have come to that conclusion because everything seems a struggle to him and many things he doesn't understand whereas other people just seem to do it automatically - which he may eventually put down to being programmed. Have you discussed this difficulties and how they affect him and how other people handle those same situations. With my own son I have found it helps him to get some understanding of where he struggles and also how other people do not experience what he does and sometimes they can do things easily that he finds really hard or impossible.

But I would also consider whether he might have alot of anxiety/stress at the moment, and if he is anything like my son he won't be able to identify that he is feeling overloaded and that might lead him to withdraw, or become upset.

[LordGorse]

Sounds like Solipsism Syndrome (you can google it for an explanation--I'd add a link but don't know how, sorry). People with the condition tend to believe they are the only true individual, that everything and everyone else are internalised, less than real... I'm not really describing it very well. But as I said, if you look it up you'll probably recognise whether or not it has any relevance to your son's situation.

[jessie]

Sounds like Solipsism Syndrome (you can google it for an explanation--I'd add a link but don't know how, sorry). People with the condition tend to believe they are the only true individual, that everything and everyone else are internalised, less than real... I'm not really describing it very well. But as I said, if you look it up you'll probably recognise whether or not it has any relevance to your son's situation.

Thankyou. Naturally he has already been on the net and identified this condition. I had never heard of it before and I think he started search ing his symptoms and found it. He use to obsess about chess or pokemon but now it's this. He probably is anxious with the final school year etc....but I hve called the docs and made an appointment.

 

thank you again

[jessie]

I havemade an appintment for my son but couldn't get one until the 7th september as it has to be with the doctor he trusts who is on holiday next week.. I am getting more worried though as he sent me an email this afternoon saying that he had to leave two classes because this thing was on his mind. I don't know the full story as he has gone to his girlfreinds and won't be home until later on, but he mentioned that I hadn't to worry about him and that he had arranged to see the school councilor. I will phone school on monday morning to let them know my concerns but it seems as though it is growing into a bigger problem very quickly.

[jessie]

My son has actually worsened over the weekend despite lots of effort in being positive etc...... I had to make a doctors appointment today with a different gp to the one he would have preferred(he is on holiday). He is becoming more and more distressed by the thought of being alone and being the only real person . I felt very helpless today in trying to reassure him as best as I could. He couldn't go into school. I contacted the young peoples mental health department this after noon as he was verging on panic. The gp we saw this morning was going to refer him to this department but idon't know how longhe will wait for an appoinment. Anyhow, a very helpful and kind nurse did call me back and said that it's not so uncommon for people with aspergers to get thoughts stuck in their heads in an obsessive way. i wondered if any of the younger people on this forum have been in similar situations. It's all a bit scarey to us. I can cope with the temper tantrums and know were I am with them but this is very hard to deal with. It must be truely terrifiying for him. Here's hoping we don't wait too long for a referal appointment

[rag31]

Has he watched The Matrix film? If you are thinking of where the thought might have come from, in that film the whole world as we know it is a computer programme....?

 

Hope things get better soon.

 

Becky

xx

[Sally44]

I know it is scary to have a family member with mental illness, I have three in my immediate family! But it's worse if it's your child. Hope you get some answers and support soon. They might suggest medication, and if so I hope that alleviates some of the anxiety he is feeling. Things can get back to something like what they were before, but sometimes it takes a long time to get to that point.

Does he also feel that you (as his mum) are not real?

Sometimes just accepting that how you are thinking/feeling is part of the 'illness' actually helps. So if your son has diagnosed himself with something can he understand that what he is experiencing is part of that illness and that what he is thinking is not actually the truth?

[jessie]

THANK YOU RAG31 AND SALLY44

he has mentioned the matrix and must feel it's similar to that. he can't come to terms with the thought of how we are able toexistetc... and his way of rationalising it seems to involve all us exisiting somehow to supprt him as he is truely onhis own otherwise(if that makes sense) . His mood is up and down as he allows the thoughts to come into his head. He couldn't fave school agin and I took the day off not wanting him to be on his own. I have never seen him appear so flat and miserable. I never thought I would miss the naughtiness, temper tantrums and general cheek but I do. He eels that nothing has any point if we are all somehow invented for his purpose> He suspects he has arranged for his own memory to be wiped so that he can enjpy haing company around him. It's hard keeping up with him.

 

He has been pretty miserable all day and I insisted that we went out tonight and he suggested a tesco trip which I thought would be good as that's pretty runof the mill stuff and it did help a little and I found things to distrct him but that's all I am doing, just distracting until the thoughts return. I phoned my gp again to say that he is becoming more anxious and that things felt a little more desparate andhe aid he would contact the hosptial todya so hopefully wewill get the appointment soon. He would have appreciated seeing someone today though and is struggling not knowing when he will get an appoinment.

 

He does accept i am mum and says that he trusts me but you can then see him going into himself as the 'thought' takes over and he just gets confused. I have pointed out to him how his condition will make it worse for him to let go fo this thought so that he reationalise how he is feeling and I just hope that he can do this. Thanks for all of your support

 

[mariag]

Hi jessie sorry things are so bad for you and your son, i would keep calling the doctor so they realise how much it is consuming his thoughts! My son who is 7 had a dream that his dad went to the shop and never came back, this was 2 months ago and is still obsessed about it, he panics if anyone in our family goes out, he will stare out the window looking and banging the window and then run around inside house throwing chairs as he is so paniced. Its really hard to try to keep him calm as he is not able to rationalise that whoever is out will be ok, but i do keep trying to calm him and reassure him that they will be fine, he is also waiting to see camhs about these issues, a long wait but my son is beginning to cope better but this has always been an issue for him besides having the dream that only heightened the problem. Your son needs help now though, on previous visits to camhs they told me that if i am desperate with any of my children as they all have Asd, i can go to A&E they will see you and may be able to help faster with medication, they are obliged to see everyone with mental health issues when in a desperate state. See how it goes then if he becomes really bad again then take him to A&E and explain his problems. In the meantime keep reassuring him, at least he trusts you. I wish you well :-) maria x

[jessie]

thank ypu mariaq. Things are alittle better in that he managed to go to school today but said it is still greatly on his mind and that he couldn't concentrate. I haven't heard about a hospital appoinment yet but will chase things tomorrow. Hope things improve with your son too. thanks again

[smiley1590]

i have AS /dyspraxia MH Probs 2 im female and 19 years old when said you want hear off other young people that can personally relate to AS obsessiveness in thinking i can't stop thoughts churning most negative and i've been reassured also that common situation and feeling to go through with having AS there has he had anxiety /depression before in past?? reassurance doesn't work with me as pushes me deeper into depression,despair frustration,upset,disgust etc as i just need to keep on thinkin it even when clear it can creep back in and drives me crazy mad i think mine's connected to i don't trust myself ,i have low self-esteem i'm insecure ,paranoid anxious none of this added to together when stressed doesn't help my mental health state i sometimes feel 'not there' with reality it hard to figure out what's going on and where you stand in the world at that time it scary feeling to have and can't control or get rid of!! grrr....

 

sometimes it wanting to escape everyday stresses and worries of having these probs that makes you like the way you are!! i feel you doing right by your son by booking in for docs appointment and him admitting he needs help and support is brave and courageous may get worse before starts improving he may need meds therapy he sounds prepared for anything to get well again mentally he sounds like struggling to understand his own head!! irratating defo to try stop gain control as quickly as possible good luck sounds like could have MH prob what could be is what you need find out more about by docs as common for peeps with AS to have other probs such as MH probs going on also in background dragging you down literally!! does he get paranoid with his obessive n dream stuff???

 

 

i would take him hosp if steps up any more and gets more distressed best thing to do get emergency treatment for him and probably get seen my MH team there at A & E as i did for different reason though still MH and AS related which was serious!!

 

could be pyschosis???

 

let us know how gets on at docs appointment what happens from there??? probably refer to MH team!?

take care

 

i understand the whole situation so much!!

KLX

 

 

[smiley1590]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder hope this helps more information!!

[jessie]

thank you so much smiley. You are a little older that my son and gave me insight into what he might be going through by not being able to cope with the thoughts. I don't know if it's obsessive, or that he just can't cope with being not being able to make sense of things. He will be seen by a mental health team to rule out anything else. The local gp seems to think it's AS related in that he seemed rational about his thoughts and wasn't hallucianting etc.... but we will see. I was very worried when he told me he wasn't sure if I was real....it must be so scarey for him. Interesting what you said about the reassuring making you worse. I will think about that one more when talking to him. He has never suffered from depression that we have been awarre of but can be anxious a lot of the time about most things. I will let you know how we get on. He saids tonight that the thoughts got very bad then eased off. My husband has come to the rescue with a good old game of poker asa distraction ....hope he wins(son that is)

 

thanks again for sharing your experiences with me

[jessie]

Well today has been really positive and my son seemed much more his normal self. He says the 'thoughts' are still there but he is able to distract himself more so Idofeel much happier. He has agreed that he will still attend the hospital when we get an apointment and I think this is wise in case a different obsessive thought appears.

 

fingers crossed tomorrow is even better