mariag

This is great news sally. Its always great when our children progress in an area they found difficult, it also good to know the professionals involved have helped him to be able to do this. Football is a very good sport to be involved in, it keep him active and it will encourage his social skills too. My ds1 loves football but my ds2 is not a great fan he may grow to love it but at the moment he just wants to kick a ball about by himself and gets cross if anyone takes his ball or wants to join him playing. There's hope though :-) thanks for your encouraging message. Maria x

Hi Nicky Sorry things have got so bad, when my DS2 lost control at school his head teacher made sure that his punishment was immediate, he missed his play and sat outside her office all afternoon. It was timeout for him too to calm down. Before he returned to school the next day i had to call the head teacher as my he refused to go to school, she reasurred him that it was over and as a result he felt much better. Your DS has realised that he has done wrong but in order to move forward he needs to be reasurred that it's over and he can start new tomorrow and whatever has bothered him will probably soon come to light. It may be the shock of realising that he has gone up a year as the new children have started now and he may feel really upset that he is not in the reception class anymore, my guess is that he is feeling a little insecure, having to go first is his way of being noticed maybe?! I hope things improve soon Maria xx <'> ><

Hi Justine, I have done this twice now but with children at different ages and it was different with both. My DS2 was 6 when he was dx and prior to this we spent almost 2 years visiting a paeditrician every 6 months, i eventually told my paeditrician that i wanted to see a clinical psychologist and at my next visit it was arranged. During my visits i was asked about our family history and my son had to have a blood test and urine sample to test for fragile x and a type of autism that can be identified in your urine. The appointments were a mix of questions and tests for my sons development which are carried out through play. I felt completely at ease though as the questions were things i already knew about my son and if i struggled they re-worded the question and gave examples. My DD was completely different she was 10 and went to CAMHS and refused to speak to anyone, she lacks confidence and has very low self esteeme, so my DH and i answered all the questions while she sat and drew a picture for them. We visited them twice and the second time got a diagnosis. So really it depends on the age of your child plus what they are able to do personally. As my daughter was unable to communicate in this wasy she was not required to do the various tests. So i am not aware of what these tests involve, but will soon find out as my DS1 will be doing it in 2 weeks. I never took my children back to school as they could not deal with that after a change in their day and my daughter needed alot of care and love after as she was feeling very low. So if you keep him at home it may ease some of the pressure for you. You will be fine, i will be thinking of you on friday. Maria x <'> >< <'>

Hi Karen, I have read this topic and felt really bad for you and your son! I cannot imagine travelling on the underground and trains by myself let alone your son doing it. My eldest goes to a local school which is in the london area too and gets on one bus there, that is hard enough for me to deal with but i was ok as he was initially travelling with someone, he found the buses very difficult to deal with so he left a little earlier than usual so as to avoid the bus being too busy. He now seems to cope better as he has adjusted slowly to the noise and confusion, he is able to join the bus when it is busy now which is an improvement, i am sure that if your son is exposed slowly to this new environment he will be able to deal with it and you will feel more comfortable as time goes and he is adjusted to the whole change of being in high school As it is still early days and he has his arm in plaster i would definatlety give him a lift. To be honest as long as he is agreeable to it, it's probably best to take him and pick him up, you are not any more anxious than all caring and loving parents. I would say it's a good quality as it means you care for his safety. It is terrifying when a school has violence outside of it. My son's school last year had a major incident inside the school and the raid police had to go in this was just before the christmas holiday, it knocked my confidence tremendiously and i was seriously considering changing school or teaching him from home, as i thought this was an isolated incident however during the holiday and after writing a strong letter to the head of school. I saw on the london news that all london schools have had lots of instances with the police. So hopefully this will bring you some comfort in that it's happening all over london and it's not just the school your son goes to, i know the thought of that really bothered me. The suggestions made by Tally and others are really good these will help to keep him safe. You will feel much better about this soon. I am filling out the forms for my daughter this very minute and am wondering how i will do this all over again especially as she is a girl It's meant to get easier! It will do, ignore me....!! Maria x

Hi Kathryn thanks, i know it's just the beginning of things really but at least now we will be dealing with someone who's knows about Asd, we have our eldest son's assesment first though at the end of this month and we start our course on Autism today. So we are jammed packed with things to do, but i am really excited now about the course, because it seems that are lives have been touched by autism in a major way. Thanks for responding, i don't know how you keep up with everyones comments, well done! It means alot to me <'> Maria x

Hi all, i would like to update you, we recently went to the mental health team and tried to get a referral for my dh and she denied he had any Asd traits and said he has anxiety disorder however she has now referred us, which is great news! We really thought we would have to fight for this, thanks to all those who offered suggestions to help us before. We know now that we will have a fair assessment done by a professional and its funded too, so we are very happy. Thanks maria x

Hi Marie, Welcome to the forum, there is lots of advice and support here. Maria x

I can see alot has gone on since i last posted, i didnt realise that things had got so heated. I feel like this is a really hard situation to advice on as your dd is at a probable all time low, she needs your help to get her out of it, does she like being where she is, has she ever opened up and said she's not happy, 'sorry if i missed it and someone already asked that'! Not much advice to offer but dont feel to discouraged as there has obviously been many in your situation before and who truly understand, so i am sure you are not the 'worse case' as the home tutor so kindly indicated! Carry on as you are little achievements to get her off comp, it will all add up to an eventual change. My ds2 is like your daughter in that he does not respond to any kind of discipline, some children just dont, so we just show him plenty of love and understanding and when he is willing to talk about his behaviour we tell him that we are very upset by the things he did but understand that he finds it difficult to cope sometimes but we want to help him, he responds to love more than discipline, all my children do. So love her and she will know you want to help and you will meet halfway soon :-) maria x

Hi mum of 3, this will be a hard time for you, even when as you say its expected it is still very hard to accept and deal with. It will almost feel like your whole world has been turned upside down by just a few words but in reality nothing has changed as they have always had Asd. I hope things begin to settle in your mind soon. I will be doing this same thing at the end of this month, so we can join each other in having a bit of a tantrum. I will be thinking of you. :-) maria x

Hi Ruth, We have a local group near us called Spectrum Arts, it london based. I have not attended their activities but they vary from art, drama, outings, youth clubs. They were part of PIP and are funded by the national lottery i think. They produce a leaflet every few months with different activities organised. I know alot of parents who attend and their children really benefit from the focused activites where their children can be themselves especially with the youth groups. Below are some links:- http://www.carerscontactline.co.uk/documen...chureAugSep.pdf This is the PIP link it will tell of other activities run in my area http://www.pipcroydon.btik.com/calendar/23199266103.ikml I hope this helps you Maria

Oh no this is typical, just as things start to go well, disaster happens! I have become desensitised to my kids breaking their arms too my DD has done it once and my DS2 has done it twice now and the last time we had to use a cover too as it happened 1 week before our holiday :-/, only it did not work too well as your not really suppose to jump in the pool but try telling a 6 year old not to jump in a pool! ;-) we had a rather smelly plaster by the end of it :-), I hope he mends soon, maria x

And anyway, long story short, she ended up ringing my Mum and sending me home, but not before my anxiety and stress levels reached maximum and I had the worst panic attack of my life, but she still sent me home, and I collasped/fell over outside near the main road, so had to go back into school and get first aid to help calm my breathing. After that episode, we thought they might understand and let me wear my jumper. But...no. They said I could wear it until I got a doctors note for it, or until I found a burgundy one. It's not easy to find a burgundy jumper, nevermind about one in the right style/material, so I got an appointment with a psychiatrist and he wrote to my school saying that my anxieties with the uniform, inparticular the jumper, were understandable given my diagnosis. This is terrible, they should have understood your needs, you were obviously in a bad way yet they could still not see straight to address your needs. Sorry you had to suffer like this! But, as soon as I walked through the gates I was met by the new headteacher, my head of year and a few other heads of years. All greeting people, etc. And my head of year called me over and told me I had to go home because of my jumper. I was expecting this, so I had my letter in hand, but he said it wasn't good enough.......... And so I walked home in tears. This is even worse even after having a letter from your doctor you were targeted by many staff and made to return home, my ds1's school has changed into an academy and they have various rules that say that any child not in full school uniform will be sent home immediately. I would hope that they would make allowances for someone with a disability as my son will soon be diagnosed with Asd i think, but now i am worrying that they may not make any allowances. I will need to speak to them about their policy for special needs if and when he gets a dx. My Mum was furious, and I rang my Dad and he was equally mad at the situation, so me and my Mum marched down to the solicitors and got seen straight away and everything was written down, and an email has already been sent to my school, and the hard copy (letter) will be posted to them (and me) tomorrow. I am glad you are doing something about it, i hope it makes them rethink what they did to you and apologise and allow you to wear what is comfortable for you. hope it all goes well. let us know Maria x

Hi Nicky, Thats great glad all went well. I hope your son gets his phone back, it must have been the nerves of the day that made him loose it. Well done for being so resourceful getting on another bus that brilliant! On my ds1 first day, he got off the bus at the wrong stop, we had practiced the journey a few times but he was overwhelmed i think and was not sure which stop to get off, he was only one stop away from the actual one so it was not too bad and a friend was waiting at the next stop for him who started to worry when was told he got off before, but all was well in the end. Maria x

Hi All, I am very happy my ds2 did much better than i expected i am so proud of him, he settled nicely and already has a good relationship with his new TA, this is brilliant as i will feel so much better about leaving him there. I know that he will probably struggle again in the morning but now i know that he can manage during the day i don't need to worry. Thanks for sharing your encouraging post JSmum, my son may have a better year than last year too, i need to stay positve for his sake. Thanks Maria

Hi nicky, i hope your children were ok today, i remember when my ds1 went to high school last year, i was more nervous than him, its a big step! All of a sudden you have this grown up child, who thinks they are older than they really are, my son was fine and i am sure yours will be too. Maria x