schools

[board]

why do schools think we are just being over petected perant ?

[bluefish]

I think because they have little or no knowledge of asd and think that if the child appears to cope at school that the parents make up the things that happen at home ! sorry for short post but our bedtime routine about to start!!!!

[KezT]

cos its easier for them not to investigate any further....

[duncansmum]

cos its easier for them not to investigate any further....

 

hi i think they dont understand our kids and sometimes i think they think they know better, i must amit i fed up with my son school not approchable at all

[KezT]

Although, on the schools side, quite often they DO have to deal with over protective paents being uneccessarily pushy for no good reason.

[Sammysnake]

I work in my daughter's school as a SEN teaching assistant so I get to see both sides of the coin. I've chatted with lots of teachers about their experiences of parents and it's true that there are a few parents who are difficult to work with but usually only a few. Usually the conversation has been reagarding whether they think I'm too overprotective and pushy and they all, bless them, say no! All of my teachers have said they would much prefer a parent to come in and chat with them if they are worried about anything in regards to their child than to either leave it to fester and become a big problem or to come in all guns blazing because they've let their worry build up.

 

Also, as far as SEN goes - the teachers simply are not trained and that's not their fault but a good teacher will do their own research if they have a child coming into their class who has a diagnosed issue and some will do it for a suspected issue too. We had a boy in Year 3 diagnosed with Tourettes on the Friday and by the Monday morning his teacher had scoured the library and internet and already had strategies in place to make him feel more comfortable. She then had all the kids in for a chat and explanation about why G said and did some of the things he did, how they could help by the way they reacted and who they could talk to if they were worried. The school day for G was immediately better and everyone's been really supportive. I'm only very sorry it's not like this in every school and have been shocked by what I've read.

 

Lots of teachers would like to help more but don't always know where to get the info from (especially if the SENCo is no good or is given no time to fulfill their role). It's about building up a good relationship with them if possible but to be honest, the most likely expert will be the TA working with your child if you are able to get regular support. I support a child who has Down Syndrome and I am the one who writes her reports, differentiates her curriculum, creates new behaviour plans and tells the teacher what progress she's making.

[Sally44]

IMO if a need is recognised and acknowledged the SEN process says that need has to be met. That costs money. It is far easier to tell a parent they are over protective, anxious, difficult etc.

My son has a number of complex needs. He has a Statement. I have said for some time that he is not making adequate progress. The school say he is. I have gradually ranked up the pressure, and they have now informed me he has made greater advancements. Which does demonstrate they have tried harder. But also proves I was right. However even with their additional efforts - and I don't deny they have tried. What schools tend to do is say 'he is making adequate progress', therefore they do not call in the EP, SALT etc 'because they have no concerns.'

I however, really fear for his future because he is so far behind now that I am sure the LEA will suggest a MLD secondary school. I have private assessments saying he is high average cognitive ability. So how have we got to this stage?

Because his current school cannot meet his needs. But who could? A specialist school. So will the school/LEA recommend he moves to one? No because it costs them more money.

The only route I can take is to get further assessments carried out and go to tribunal. I don't want to. It costs alot to get further evidence. But they are just refusing to do what he needs.

 

Just recently my son has produced some fantastic art work. He took it into school and they want to photocopy it. I have a fairly good idea that they want to use that as 'evidence' that he has made progress. I don't deny he has made alot of progress in this area. However this art work again proves he does not have MLD and again fuels my argument that he is capable of so much more.

 

School have admitted to me that they don't have expertise in many things. The LEA also does not provide specialist input (which is illegal). So finally I would say the system is to blame. But it is our children who are left with very limited future life choices by the time they have worked their way through a system that has not met their needs or helped them reach their potential. That will inevitably cost the tax payer so much more to have a dependent adult unable to live independently or work. However whilst at school it is only the short term education budget that is considered. Not the lifelong cost to society to support my child.

[babnye1]

I work in my daughter's school as a SEN teaching assistant so I get to see both sides of the coin. I've chatted with lots of teachers about their experiences of parents and it's true that there are a few parents who are difficult to work with but usually only a few. Usually the conversation has been reagarding whether they think I'm too overprotective and pushy and they all, bless them, say no! All of my teachers have said they would much prefer a parent to come in and chat with them if they are worried about anything in regards to their child than to either leave it to fester and become a big problem or to come in all guns blazing because they've let their worry build up.

 

Also, as far as SEN goes - the teachers simply are not trained and that's not their fault but a good teacher will do their own research if they have a child coming into their class who has a diagnosed issue and some will do it for a suspected issue too. We had a boy in Year 3 diagnosed with Tourettes on the Friday and by the Monday morning his teacher had scoured the library and internet and already had strategies in place to make him feel more comfortable. She then had all the kids in for a chat and explanation about why G said and did some of the things he did, how they could help by the way they reacted and who they could talk to if they were worried. The school day for G was immediately better and everyone's been really supportive. I'm only very sorry it's not like this in every school and have been shocked by what I've read.

 

Lots of teachers would like to help more but don't always know where to get the info from (especially if the SENCo is no good or is given no time to fulfill their role). It's about building up a good relationship with them if possible but to be honest, the most likely expert will be the TA working with your child if you are able to get regular support. I support a child who has Down Syndrome and I am the one who writes her reports, differentiates her curriculum, creates new behaviour plans and tells the teacher what progress she's making.

 

Sammysnake....you sound like you work in a very good school!

 

I could never get my head around the lack of very basic knowledge. Yes, teachers are untrained and rely on SENCO etc but as you have said, it is very easy with a little bit of time on google to get some basic info about ASD so at least you understand what the parents are talking about. Or be honest when you don't udnerstand.

 

In my experience, most of the problems are caused by a lack of understanding and a defensiveness on the part of teachers who want to duck the issue as they might be made to do something about it if they acknowledge it. This lack of openness makes them difficult to communicate with so you do end up with problems festering as you cannot get 5 mins to talk through problems.

 

In my case, we have a home/school book, an Early Bird Plus course we are on with the class TA and ten mins a week to chat to one of the teachers (DS has two) so you would think there would be lots of opportunities for communication.

 

As it is, the TA comes to the course but has no defined way of sharing the information with the teacehrs (who she says don't ask) and the home/school book has minimal comments so significant incidents (like yesterday when DS was scratched and pushed over) are recorded as 'DS had a bad playtime...all sorted now'. The ten mins with one teacher becomes a pointless exercise as nothing changes!

 

So, schools protective of their budgets, with staff who don't understand and treat questions as criticisms mean life is VERY difficult for parents unless of course your child causes lots of disruption for the teacher and suddenly the issues become clearer for everyone.

[JsMum]

Hurts Doesnt it when a Teacher says that, but they say it for a reason.

 

To shut us up, so we dont interfer, or intervene or stand up for our kids and we back down.

 

If where not accused of been overprotected where accussed of That parent doesnt care about thier Kid, so we cant win,

 

I personally do admit I am an overprotective at times but thats because my judgement and trust has been abused by some Teachers, when I trust and feel the school do what they say they are going to then I relax and I let go which Ive learnt to do over time, but thats after getting a fantastic school, because I cared about my son and I wasnt interested in well we have 30 other children in the class, no other parent has complained.... bla bla bla.

 

I am a lot better now my son has his SENs met, Ive relaxed and let go. (ok getting there with letting go, it takes a lot of practice.)

 

Overprotection can usually be a sign needs are not been met and we are going unheard and ignored.

 

JsMumxxx

 

 

Edited March 17, 2010 by JsMum

[Sally44]

And it is worth remembering that most of us have other children too. We are not being over protective about them, because they are doing okay. I have never had to spend even 1% of the time and energy I have to spend on my child with an ASD. My daughter goes to the school that my son was moved from. My daughter is doing really well.