Live on busy road with ASD child - such a worry

[MrsD]

Just over 2 years ago we were lucky to get offered accommodation in the form of charitable housing. At the time I didn't know my son had ASD and I had no idea how dangerous the road was. There's a 30mph speed limit but it's a straight road and cars/lorries/tractors/coaches come through all the time. The road is very busy and most vehicles exceed the speed limit. My husband's and neighbour's car have both been written off while stationary outside our house, both on different occasions. The driveway has no gate, it is so easy for my son to make his escape and it's such a constant worry.

 

The county councillor, local councillor, MP, road casualty reduction officer and parish council have all been involved in trying to get traffic calming measures but as no one's been hurt yet, I don't think it's likely to happen.

 

Getting an exchange is not a possibility so I would have to give up our secure tenancy and rent privately.

 

My son has no road sense whatsoever. My instinct is telling me to get away from this road and move. Do you think I'm being sensible by doing this?

 

I don't know when/or if my son will get any road sense. He has NO fears and NO sense of danger.

 

Thanks for any advice.

[bid]

First of all I would ask your Housing Association to put gates on your driveway to make things a little safer.

 

Have you explained to them about the problem and the fact that you have a child with autism, etc? They would have to take that into account with regard to a transfer to a more suitable house.

 

Bid

[MrsD]

Thanks Bid for taking the time to reply. The 'housing association' consists of a few panel members from the local parish council, it's an Almshouse that I live in and there are only 2 properties available (one of them being my accommodation). There are no other properties - it seems a strange set up I know.

 

I had a police officer visit me this afternoon re my formal complaint for speeding. She did think we should ask for gates to be fitted.

[call me jaded]

Gates are a reasonable request.

 

We live on a busy road - my neighbours have had a lorry go into their front garden (they haven't moved) and I've had a few 'moments' with DS. We just keep very vigilant. If we moved I'm sure there would be something else instead of the road that we'd have to watch out for - DS can find 'trouble' anywhere!

[Sally44]

I've always had to keep windows and doors locked in our house and my son does not know where the keys are. Prior to that he escaped a couple of times and even managed to start my car which fortunately I had not left in gear!

Would it help to get door or window alarms as well as the pre-mentioned lockable gate. I don't know who would advise on this, would it be Social Services or your Autism Outreach Department?

Also write to the council/local newspaper and join any on-going petition or start one yourself (if you have the spare time!!!).

Having no road sense, or 'being a runner' is a common problem. How old is your child, and what do you normally do to control him when you go out of the house? Is your main concern just centered around your house? If so then the abovementioned ideas would make it more secure if everything was always locked and a new lockable gate was installed.

[Sally44]

I do know of another family who have managed to get funding for a car because of difficulties with mobility. Their child is also a runner, has no road sense, sensory and communication difficulties and also incontinence problems. Due to all of these things his parents could not take him out anywhere on public transport. They had to have a car for mobility reasons and because of all the things they needed to always have with them. But it took them a couple of years of fighting to get it. But make sure you are getting Disability Living Allowance for your child and that it is at the right level for the amount of difficulties he has.

[MrsD]

Thanks for the ideas. I've never heard of Autism Outreach Department, who do they come under? We're not involved with social services (currently). My son was 3 in June and he was diagnosed with ASD a week before his 3rd birthday.

 

I do use reins when he's out, but half of the time he's swinging around on them or on the floor - if he can't go where he wants to go.

 

Yes, mainly it's a worry around the house/garden. Also, the road is so busy, taking him for a local walk is a no no.

 

He has a twin sister and I've been a single mum for the past 4 months so I don't have time to do any active petitioning, unfortunately.

 

Thanks.

[thomastank]

 

 

Hi there, I just wanted to say I sympathise. We too live on a long straight road, 30mph, but there is no way the cars travel 30 by the time they get to our end as the limit stops a few yards down. We are lucky to have a fence/gate. We have had to put bolts on both sides, quite close to the ground, so only an adult can reach right down the other side and open them. I also double lock the door as soon as we are in the house as my son can open it, and has done to complete strangers if I haven't got there before him. He is 5, his road sence is coming very slowly, we still have lots of battles as his school friends are allowed to run along the pavement and be trusted to stop, there's now way I can trust my son to do that. Most of the time he is still in a pram which I hate, but its a long away to school and with a younger toddler too its impossible. Just wanted to say that I hope you can appeal to get a fence or similar fitted, if not then extra locks on your door. . . . Good luck.

[Sally44]

The Autism Outreach Department is part of Education. They are the department that school can contact to get advice about autism. Our Outreach Department also has alot of gadgets that they lend to families.

As your son is 3 I would suggest speaking with whatever professionals are involved with him and asking if you can get security locks etc through them. Who is involved with your son at the moment. Is he at nursery?

I didn't get a diagnosis for my son until he was 6, and therefore missed out on all the early years interventions there are. I'm sure others will post with advice about that.

I would also suggest contacting your local Parent Partnership which is usually based in your local council offices. They can give advice and support to families ie. they know alot of contacts and can point you in the right direction. They can also come with you to any meetings regarding your son to advise you and help ensure that everything is done as it should be. They aren't perfect, but they are better than doing it alone.

[thomastank]

Also ask about Portage, its a home visiting service for pre-schoolers to help parents with various situations including games to play. I only qualified for a few sessions as my son was about start school but it was worth every minute.

[MrsD]

Sally,

 

My son is involved with Portage and has also just started nursery. That's a worry too. I have given them strict verbal instructions and written consent that if he's taken out for a walk they must use reins!

 

The Psychologist recently advised me to lock all windows in case he tries to escape. It's such a worry isn't it? I'm finding myself checking and checking windows before he goes upstairs to bed!

 

Thanks all.

 

Dee