PROBLEMS WITH 15 YEAR OLD

[fitzron]

Our son is nearly 15 and has a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome .He was diagnosed at the age of 11 but has had a lot of difficulty at Secondary school .He is of above average intelligence . He has found it really difficult to accept the label and has tried very hard to be the same and fit in . Often in an attempt to fit in he has gone one step too far and his behaviour is seen as disruptive by school . He can be loud and wants to make his friends laugh but ends up being sent out of class and into detention. He has difficulties interpreting the teachers moods and expressions and often thinks they are making fun of him or shouting at him .He can get very upset and angry and this can result in him walking out of school .When he has a passion he is very upbeat and totally absorbed in his interets but as it fades he can become quite low.

 

In his first secondary school we asked for the Educational Psychologist to come into school but her report said that he did not have AS but had a mis-match between his academic and social development. She said that the same behaviour could be expected of him as everyone else. The situation at school rapidly deteriorated and we home-educated him for 3 months . We went back to the Community Paediatrician and she confirmed his diagnosis .We then changed his school . The new school went well for a while and seemed tolerant and understanding .However in the last 6 months he is being threatened with exclusion as there seems very little allowance or understanding . In a recent meeting a member of the ASD team attended and said " Well as you are such a strapping lad teachers find it difficult to understand your difficulties ". What has build got to do with having AS ?

A contract was drawn up at the meeting to give teachers guidance on how to deal with his behaviour and for Greg to use a card when he needs to leave the room . Greg is reluctant to use the card as is desperate to be the same as others He has made no real connections with other members of staff and after the meeting instead of going into class he left school and rang me in tears.He would not go back into school. He has begun to truant recently.

The SENCO is very nice but seems to have little influence over the way other teachers treat him.

I don`t know which way to turn .

 

 

 

[Pennygarden]

Welcome

 

I can't help with advice as I'm new to the world of AS, but I'm sure some of the experienced forum members will be along and post with ideas/suggestions and experiences.

 

Hang on in there - sure someone will be along soon.

[JsMum]

 

 

It is clear why he is on the road to exclusion and why it is not working out when you do a managed school move it is because the school is still not meeting his special educational needs, I would request an emergency assessment of his needs especially as he is close to exclusion, and its near GCSEs, write down all your concerns and then list what kind of support your son needs, what does your son feel he requires to support him but also helps him fit in?

 

The comment the ASD team member made is undjustifyable and not supporting your son, what there saying is he is too big to confront and make him conform, there scared of him by the sound of it, which will just increase his frustrations when he has to deal with emotions and feelings relating to frustration and understanding social context.

 

The ASD team was not helpful basically and should be constructively finding ideas that will help both your son and the teachers that understand his special needs.

 

I would write to your local authority Special Educational Needs Manager and requet a urgent assessment, and write down a summary of the situation with his education and how his needs have not been met.

 

It is very frustrating and It is a very familair situation for the more higher intelligence Aspergers Syndrome adolescent in todays mainstream school.

 

There really does need to be a radical change in mainstream schools for Aspergers Syndrome especially in Adolescence.

 

I recommend Contacting all of the educational websites on the toolkit section, NAS, IPSEA, ACE, NETWORK 81 ECT....

 

Hopefully things can begin to get resolved.

 

JsMumxxx

 

 

[welshlass]

Hello there,

I am new here, and by the sounds of it, my son and I have had a far easier time of it educational wise than a lot of others.

It makes me very sad to read some of the things on here.

 

I knew there was something up with my son at 4 years old but was told I was comparing him to my daughter and girls are better than boys!

So, I put him into a welsh speaking school, with his sister, fully aware that he could not speak or understand a darn word of English nevermind Welsh.

It really ruffled some feathers. He spent a grand total of 2 weeks there before being diagnosed with a severe speach and language disorder (at first - later with Aspergers) and whisked off to a specialist teaching facility within an English speaking school. My daughter obviously remained on at her welsh school.

 

My son has remained at specialist teaching facilities right through his school life. They are units based within a mainstream school where extra English is taught and welsh and so on are exempt. The kids go to regular lessons like maths and so on with a support teacher, he/she sits right next to them and helps them.

Can you look into this with your son?

Here in Wales, these teaching units are few and far between but they are darn good and do their job well. Very underfunded, as is everything, but they do exist and I would be pushing for a place at one for your son if I were you.

It's not too late at 15 - your son deserves the right to a decent education.

My son once sat on his speach and language therapist as she was leaving to work at another place and he was devastated, he was about 14 then. That sort of thing is unacceptable but the school handled it brilliantly as they are equipped to I guess.

 

I can't offer any advice to you other than that and in all probability, you have already been down that road and failed to find a placement for your son. I offer you support though and lots of it. I have been at the frustration phase with my son (now 16) and the way his frustration came out was in what others see as terrible tantrums and aggresion. It was the most terrible time for him and for myself as his mother. It's under control now although does rear it's head now and again but rarely.

At 15 your son is preparing for his exams and doing lots of coursework, it's a lot for your 'avergae' kid to deal with but for a special kid? The exam pressure? Coursework pressure? Hormones raging? Nightmare. His brain is possibly bursting from it all. It's so unfair really. It's going to come out in one form or another and shame on the schools for letting him down.

I really hope you get something done about it.

If my spelling is driving you insane - I apologise! I am meant to be working here but this is far more important than boring drawing! I am slightly rushing through this!

x

 

[fitzron]

Hello there,

I am new here, and by the sounds of it, my son and I have had a far easier time of it educational wise than a lot of others.

It makes me very sad to read some of the things on here.

 

I knew there was something up with my son at 4 years old but was told I was comparing him to my daughter and girls are better than boys!

So, I put him into a welsh speaking school, with his sister, fully aware that he could not speak or understand a darn word of English nevermind Welsh.

It really ruffled some feathers. He spent a grand total of 2 weeks there before being diagnosed with a severe speach and language disorder (at first - later with Aspergers) and whisked off to a specialist teaching facility within an English speaking school. My daughter obviously remained on at her welsh school.

 

My son has remained at specialist teaching facilities right through his school life. They are units based within a mainstream school where extra English is taught and welsh and so on are exempt. The kids go to regular lessons like maths and so on with a support teacher, he/she sits right next to them and helps them.

Can you look into this with your son?

Here in Wales, these teaching units are few and far between but they are darn good and do their job well. Very underfunded, as is everything, but they do exist and I would be pushing for a place at one for your son if I were you.

It's not too late at 15 - your son deserves the right to a decent education.

My son once sat on his speach and language therapist as she was leaving to work at another place and he was devastated, he was about 14 then. That sort of thing is unacceptable but the school handled it brilliantly as they are equipped to I guess.

 

I can't offer any advice to you other than that and in all probability, you have already been down that road and failed to find a placement for your son. I offer you support though and lots of it. I have been at the frustration phase with my son (now 16) and the way his frustration came out was in what others see as terrible tantrums and aggresion. It was the most terrible time for him and for myself as his mother. It's under control now although does rear it's head now and again but rarely.

At 15 your son is preparing for his exams and doing lots of coursework, it's a lot for your 'avergae' kid to deal with but for a special kid? The exam pressure? Coursework pressure? Hormones raging? Nightmare. His brain is possibly bursting from it all. It's so unfair really. It's going to come out in one form or another and shame on the schools for letting him down.

I really hope you get something done about it.

If my spelling is driving you insane - I apologise! I am meant to be working here but this is far more important than boring drawing! I am slightly rushing through this!

x

 

[fitzron]

Thank you so much for all the advice . I have felt so isolated in trying to get the understanding he needs . In a conversation with his Maths teacher yesterday I was told that unless he settles down in lesson straight away and conforms he will be sent out .I have also been told that even though his target for GCSE Maths is an A he should sit the lower tier paper( in which it is only possible to get a C) due to his poor behaviour.

 

My son has said that this teacher shouts at him and makes fun of him . It is easy to feel powerless in these situations.

 

I feel so much more focussed now and will take on board the advice and start writing letters!

 

I agree that there is a huge gap in provision for the more able AS teen and a huge lack of understanding or even the will to understand .

[purplehaze]

 

Hello, My son is also 15 with autism and struggled in mainstream school every year he was there! He was excluded even though he had a statement and displayed unwanted behaviour due to anxiety etc. It seemed no body understood him I was frustrated, he was frustrated they were frustrated-it didn't work!

 

The school is not meeting your sons needs he has identified SEN needs and they need to call a meeting and get outside professional support. The autism team should be giving constructive support also. Have you any one from a parent partnership team involved to support you? Just because your son has academic ability doesn't mean he isn't going to struggle socially or emotionally and thats what they should be looking at.

 

It was a long battle for me to get my son the right support and he is now in a SEN school's individual outreach programme which is specifically planned for him!

 

 

[fitzron]

Hello, My son is also 15 with autism and struggled in mainstream school every year he was there! He was excluded even though he had a statement and displayed unwanted behaviour due to anxiety etc. It seemed no body understood him I was frustrated, he was frustrated they were frustrated-it didn't work!

 

The school is not meeting your sons needs he has identified SEN needs and they need to call a meeting and get outside professional support. The autism team should be giving constructive support also. Have you any one from a parent partnership team involved to support you? Just because your son has academic ability doesn't mean he isn't going to struggle socially or emotionally and thats what they should be looking at.

 

It was a long battle for me to get my son the right support and he is now in a SEN school's individual outreach programme which is specifically planned for him!

 

[fitzron]

Very sorry to hear that your 15 year old son was excluded but pleased to hear that at last his needs are being met.

I will see if there are any local parent partnership or support workers locally. Thanks for the advice .

[Sally44]

I would also advise you to speak withe NAS Education Helpline. You leave your name, number and a short message and they get back to you. Also speak with IPSEA. They have a website as well @ www.ipsea.org.uk.

Yours is unfortunately a common situation, but your son has a diagnosis and the above organisations should be able to help you know how to proceed. Even the Disability Discrimination Act talks about 'reasonable adjustments' for those with a disability. And unfortunately we have to go along with the 'diability' label, but if it works it is worth it.

There is so much that could be being done and isn't. The school should have within their budget a certain amount of funding for SEN. He may need access to a teaching assistant in some or all classes. It all depends on what his actual difficulties are - but no-one seems to have identified them yet! For example, if he finds it difficult to follow whole class verbal instructions/teaching then he may benefit from having his work sheet printed out prior to lessons.

Also, if the school are finding his behaviour difficult, or are identifying where he is struggling, it is their responsibility to be contacting outside professionals such as the Educational Psychologist, or the Speech Therapist, or the Autism Advisory Teacher etc. So, I think it would be wise to find out exactly what your position is and what you can expect to happen and what the school and outside professionals should be doing.

If your son had dyslexia and his teacher said "XXX is very bright and capable of grade A GCSEs, but to achieve that he needs specialist teaching and supports such as a voice recognition computer programme - however we are not going to do that, we are going to enter him in a lower exam which we feel he is capable of completing on his own, however he will definately get lower results. If that was said to you you would be absolutely clear in your mind that that was not right. However his 'difficulties' appear invisible to them. But they have admitted he is not going to reach his potential.

I would get advice, then put all my concerns in writing to the school and the LEA inclusion officer responsible for SEN/exclusion. Be very firm, methodical and unemotional. Get a copy of the SEN Code of Practice for SEN and read through any relevant sections. And ALWAYS put things in writing, and if anyone says anything to you ask them to confirm that in writing or send in a letter saying something like "further to our discussion on XXX I would like to clarify the situation as explained to me. You informed me that my son, although capable of achieving grade A GCSE's is not going to have that opportunity as you wish to enter him for a lower exam as you feel unable to support him in school. I find this unaceptable and would like to know what outside professionals have been contacted regarding the difficulties my son is having within school due to his diagnosis." And see what response you get to that.

[welshlass]

Reading your story has made me feel very uncomfortable in the sense of the shocking way authorities let these children down. It is heartbreaking.

No parent expects to be given every crumb of help on a plate while they sit back, as the parent, and do little to nothing to contribute with proactive help for the children. But we are not living in the dark ages, we should have more understanding in society as a whole and most certainly within a school.

How you have managed to hold your temper throughout this is a credit to you.

I have such a short fuse and would be at the door of my local paper, at the door of my MP, at the door of my GP. I would be demanding some help with this situation, some publicity, I would be targetting the school with bad publicity and all sorts and would be driven to do so, so I felt justice was given eventually to my child.

I take my hat off to you for remaining calm throughout your dealings with these people.

 

Have you thought of going to your MP?

One letter from your MP to any authority, be they education or otherwise seems to speed up whatever issue you have.

It would appear, in my personal experience, when your dealing with issues with the Government departments, any Government dept, a letter from an MP can go a long way to have your situation dealt with more quickly.

It's just an idea for you if you have not already been down his/her office, chained yourself to the railings and burned your bra!

 

With all the fighting for your son, do not forget to look after yourself as well. I for one, get incredibly upset and loose sleep over issues with my son. I always have to hammer home to myself, it is not me with the problem here, it is not even my son with the problem, it is the authorities with the problem, hammer it home to myself so I stop walking about feeling like something nasty they trod in and I can get some sleep at night without feeling furious all the time.

Do some simple things with him, give him pizza hut (other food options are available ) and watch (my son's fav) Harry Hill on DVD even if you can not stand it for one more time! Just to see him giggle is enough to calm me down anyhow and when I am calmer and he is calmer I can tackle other idiots beter

Grrrrrr.

 

 

 

 

[Sally44]

Our son is nearly 15 and has a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome .He was diagnosed at the age of 11 but has had a lot of difficulty at Secondary school .He is of above average intelligence . He has found it really difficult to accept the label and has tried very hard to be the same and fit in . Often in an attempt to fit in he has gone one step too far and his behaviour is seen as disruptive by school . He can be loud and wants to make his friends laugh but ends up being sent out of class and into detention. He has difficulties interpreting the teachers moods and expressions and often thinks they are making fun of him or shouting at him .He can get very upset and angry and this can result in him walking out of school .When he has a passion he is very upbeat and totally absorbed in his interets but as it fades he can become quite low.

 

In his first secondary school we asked for the Educational Psychologist to come into school but her report said that he did not have AS but had a mis-match between his academic and social development. She said that the same behaviour could be expected of him as everyone else. The situation at school rapidly deteriorated and we home-educated him for 3 months . We went back to the Community Paediatrician and she confirmed his diagnosis .We then changed his school . The new school went well for a while and seemed tolerant and understanding .However in the last 6 months he is being threatened with exclusion as there seems very little allowance or understanding . In a recent meeting a member of the ASD team attended and said " Well as you are such a strapping lad teachers find it difficult to understand your difficulties ". What has build got to do with having AS ?

A contract was drawn up at the meeting to give teachers guidance on how to deal with his behaviour and for Greg to use a card when he needs to leave the room . Greg is reluctant to use the card as is desperate to be the same as others He has made no real connections with other members of staff and after the meeting instead of going into class he left school and rang me in tears.He would not go back into school. He has begun to truant recently.

The SENCO is very nice but seems to have little influence over the way other teachers treat him.

I don`t know which way to turn .

 

 

Another thought might be that the SALT should be involved to teach certain skills which would fall under the Social Use of Language. That is part of their remit. My son has been taught how to ask for things or tell adults things he needs to tell them rather than just get emotional.

 

Kathrun has just posted SALT guidance notes on the forum topics. You might find something useful in there to ask the SALT department about. It seems apparent that something is not working as it should or could. There are many ways of supporting a child and of delivering therapy. But it is very important to know what the route cause of the difficulty is. If your son does not want to use a card, then he can be taught to go up to the teacher or TA and say 'I need a break'. However the teacher(s) and SALT and your son all have to be on board as to how he will do this. And to begin with he may well 'interrupt' the teacher to give this information before he leaves, and should not be punished for that or told to be quiet or to wait. Those skills can be taught later.

 

He might also benefit from a TA giving a brief overview before certain lessons he struggles in so that he is prepared for what the lesson is about. And he may need help during the lesson itself, or after the lesson to check he has understood what he learnt or what his homework is etc. All these things will reduce anxiety and stress and frustration which are the main causes of outbursts.

[Karen A]

Hi fitzron.

Does your son have a Statement or is support being provided at school Action or School Action plus ?

 

I have Ben who is 11.He is very bright and has just started at mainstream secondary school.I understand that your son wants to fit in.I have noticed that Ben is now more reluctant to appear different.He is becoming reluctant to access the support that is available.If I figure out what to do about this I will let you know.

I know of another young man with AS who has had a very difficult time in secondary due to lack of staff awareness and understanding.

 

However Ben does have a Stement and support in place to enable him to perform within his ability.I found that when Ben was treated as though he was less able he became frustrated which contributed to challenging behaviour.

I am a bit cross with the maths teacher to be honest.If a pupil was blind but able in maths it would be wrong to place him in a lower group because he was blind.If the behaviour difficulties are related to lack of Social Understanding or an inability to organise work then the answer is to provide support to enable your son to learn.Even if your son did not have AS but had behaviour diffficulties for other reasons sets are supposed to be based on ability and not on behaviour. Karen.

[fitzron]

Hi fitzron.

Does your son have a Statement or is support being provided at school Action or School Action plus ?

 

I have Ben who is 11.He is very bright and has just started at mainstream secondary school.I understand that your son wants to fit in.I have noticed that Ben is now more reluctant to appear different.He is becoming reluctant to access the support that is available.If I figure out what to do about this I will let you know.

I know of another young man with AS who has had a very difficult time in secondary due to lack of staff awareness and understanding.

 

However Ben does have a Stement and support in place to enable him to perform within his ability.I found that when Ben was treated as though he was less able he became frustrated which contributed to challenging behaviour.

I am a bit cross with the maths teacher to be honest.If a pupil was blind but able in maths it would be wrong to place him in a lower group because he was blind.If the behaviour difficulties are related to lack of Social Understanding or an inability to organise work then the answer is to provide support to enable your son to learn.Even if your son did not have AS but had behaviour diffficulties for other reasons sets are supposed to be based on ability and not on behaviour. Karen.

 

[fitzron]

Reading your story has made me feel very uncomfortable in the sense of the shocking way authorities let these children down. It is heartbreaking.

No parent expects to be given every crumb of help on a plate while they sit back, as the parent, and do little to nothing to contribute with proactive help for the children. But we are not living in the dark ages, we should have more understanding in society as a whole and most certainly within a school.

How you have managed to hold your temper throughout this is a credit to you.

I have such a short fuse and would be at the door of my local paper, at the door of my MP, at the door of my GP. I would be demanding some help with this situation, some publicity, I would be targetting the school with bad publicity and all sorts and would be driven to do so, so I felt justice was given eventually to my child.

I take my hat off to you for remaining calm throughout your dealings with these people.

 

Have you thought of going to your MP?

One letter from your MP to any authority, be they education or otherwise seems to speed up whatever issue you have.

It would appear, in my personal experience, when your dealing with issues with the Government departments, any Government dept, a letter from an MP can go a long way to have your situation dealt with more quickly.

It's just an idea for you if you have not already been down his/her office, chained yourself to the railings and burned your bra!

 

With all the fighting for your son, do not forget to look after yourself as well. I for one, get incredibly upset and loose sleep over issues with my son. I always have to hammer home to myself, it is not me with the problem here, it is not even my son with the problem, it is the authorities with the problem, hammer it home to myself so I stop walking about feeling like something nasty they trod in and I can get some sleep at night without feeling furious all the time.

Do some simple things with him, give him pizza hut (other food options are available ) and watch (my son's fav) Harry Hill on DVD even if you can not stand it for one more time! Just to see him giggle is enough to calm me down anyhow and when I am calmer and he is calmer I can tackle other idiots beter

Grrrrrr.

 

[fitzron]

I have battled for so long to get support but when we asked for The Ed Psych to intervene it back fired on us as her report said that the usual behaviour can be expected of him and now the ASD team have also let us down . It seems that the external agencies are all in collusion with schools . Is it legal for agencies to disregard the diagnosis of Community Paediatricians?

 

I have felt so isolated that I have felt to blame .I am constantly questioning my parenting and sometimes my sanity! I have felt that if I in any way rock the boat the school and agencies will counter-attack as they did in my sons secondary school .

That has been my experience . I think it is something to do with the fact that my son is able and trying to fit in. However his file is almost a foot high so you would think that this may indicate to them that this is a pupil who despite being bright is having major problems !

 

[Sally44]

Yes they do have to recognise the diagnosis. And therefore if he is having difficulties that are consistent with his diagnosis then it is the school's responsibility to call in outside agencies such as SALT or Ed Psych to look at the difficulties to see if there is anything the school can do from an approach, strategy or environmental point of view, or in terms of staffing arrangements or hours of support. They should also look at the child and assess them to see if they do have the skills required to carry out the tasks, work etc that they are showing difficulties with. For example if a child is getting stressed, anxious and frustrated at school and the only way he knows to react or to 'get out of the situation' is to become angry or disruptive then they do need to teach him other ways to show that he is struggling and to get help. And the support has to be introduced and taught explicitly because it maybe a totally non-existent skill. At the same time they need to reinforce that skill and good behaviour with reward and not tolerate the old behaviour with them knowing what the consequences of that bad behaviour will be. Let me give you an example as I see it. I have two dogs and when I am out of the house for a long time they will urinate inside. I don't want that so I have installed a dog flap. However the dogs do not automatically know what a dog flap is or how they should use it. So I have had to explicitly teach them how to get in and how to get out. Once they knew how to use it that is what they did. They didn't choose to continue urinating in my house because they had another option. Obviously I am not saying our children are 'animals', but things that seem very obvious to us are not at all obvious to them.

I would advise you to speak with the NAS educational helpline and with IPSEA.

What do you feel the school could or should be doing.

What difficulties do you feel your son has that are not being recognised or met.

[Karen A]

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...e+school+normal

I thought this thread might be useful.It is about children with ASD who are able to appear normal at school but have difficulties with the resulting anxiety.I remembered it myself this week having often posted it for others.

Karen.

[Karen A]

quote name='fitzron' date='Sep 26 2009, 06:39 AM' post='270183']

I have battled for so long to get support but when we asked for The Ed Psych to intervene it back fired on us as her report said that the usual behaviour can be expected of him and now the ASD team have also let us down . It seems that the external agencies are all in collusion with schools . Is it legal for agencies to disregard the diagnosis of Community Paediatricians ?

 

Hi.It may not be legal however a lot depends on what is documented in the Statement of SEN.If there is a diagnosis of ASD /AS clearly documented in the Statement with cleary quantified and specified provision then you might well have a case.If there is nothing documented clearly in the Statement then there is no legal obligation to do anything. I know it is frustrating.

Even with SALT specified I think a lot would depend on what the Staement says the SALT should be doing.

As a rough idea Ben has the support of an ASD outreach teacher who in practice carries out the SALT provision in the Statement this includes such things as anger management strategies,Social Skills and help with coping with change.If the SALT programme is ASD related I would anticipate that these would be the sort of things included.

 

If you have a Statement that states that various programmes should be carried out by ASD outreach,SALT or other professionals and these are being disregarded one option might be to write to Children's Services [Education] to complain that provision is not being provided in line with the Staement.It is the LA [Children's Srevices /Education] who are legally responsible for ensuring that provision is carried out in line with the Staement rather than the school.

 

If you do not have a Stement then another option might be to request a Statutary Assessment of SEN.At least the professionals might then be asked to conduct detailed assessments and there might be some pressure to come to agreement regarding what the issues are.

 

Sorry to not be more specific but it is difficult when I am not sure regarding the situation.There is a huge difference legally between having a Statement and not having one.Karen.

 

Edited September 26, 2009 by Karen A

[Karen A]

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm

This link includes draft letters for both requesting an Assessment of SEN and Comlaining that provision is not being carried out in line with a Statement of SEN.They may be helpful.

[fitzron]

Hi fitzron.

Does your son have a Statement or is support being provided at school Action or School Action plus ?

 

I have Ben who is 11.He is very bright and has just started at mainstream secondary school.I understand that your son wants to fit in.I have noticed that Ben is now more reluctant to appear different.He is becoming reluctant to access the support that is available.If I figure out what to do about this I will let you know.

I know of another young man with AS who has had a very difficult time in secondary due to lack of staff awareness and understanding.

 

However Ben does have a Stement and support in place to enable him to perform within his ability.I found that when Ben was treated as though he was less able he became frustrated which contributed to challenging behaviour.

I am a bit cross with the maths teacher to be honest.If a pupil was blind but able in maths it would be wrong to place him in a lower group because he was blind.If the behaviour difficulties are related to lack of Social Understanding or an inability to organise work then the answer is to provide support to enable your son to learn.Even if your son did not have AS but had behaviour diffficulties for other reasons sets are supposed to be based on ability and not on behaviour. Karen.

 

[fitzron]

He doesn`t have a Statement .I have never seen an IEP . I suppose he must be on School Action Pus as they have called in the ASD team .

They have responded to him purely as a child with behavioural issues as far as I can tell .

Thanks for your help

 

[purplehaze]

 

Hello Fitzron, from my sons own experiences when a child in secondary school (not all) is displaying unwanted behaviour thats all they see and thats why it doesn't or takes a very long time to resolve the issues and offer the right support. some secondary schools cater for academic skills but in my opinion self-esteem and social skills are pushed aside or just expected to be there. If children can't fit into a secondary school and tow the line then it is a struggle for all (child, parents & school). I always tried to understand it from all pionts of view but then we got to the stage where even professionals just began being truthful and saying the school just don't understand.

 

You should list all the problems your son is having-even on here for support

then work through how or what could help to manage things

then what professional could support

go through your list with parent partnership and the autism team and ask what they think could support the individual problems/issues etc

then call a meeting with everyone you need/want and go through your list, ask to see his IEP and ask them how they think they can support him

 

for example my son had great difficulty in a maths lesson-and one of the biggest reasons was the teacher drank coffee and he couldn't handle the smell on his breath when he talked to him-he displayed unwanted behaviour to get sent out of lesson.

 

Talk to your son and ask for his support-what things doesn't he like/what does he think would make it better etc-it may help.

 

Things started to change for us when I got the children's disability social worker involved-she was great. Even though my son had a statement it didn't support him-you just need to find the right support/person etc.

 

Keep talking on here it does help-I got to where my son needed to be to survive education and begin to enjoy it (he has no behaviour issues now) and hopefully we can support you to get your son there. Kepp talking XXX

 

 

[fitzron]

Hello Fitzron, from my sons own experiences when a child in secondary school (not all) is displaying unwanted behaviour thats all they see and thats why it doesn't or takes a very long time to resolve the issues and offer the right support. some secondary schools cater for academic skills but in my opinion self-esteem and social skills are pushed aside or just expected to be there. If children can't fit into a secondary school and tow the line then it is a struggle for all (child, parents & school). I always tried to understand it from all pionts of view but then we got to the stage where even professionals just began being truthful and saying the school just don't understand.

 

You should list all the problems your son is having-even on here for support

then work through how or what could help to manage things

then what professional could support

go through your list with parent partnership and the autism team and ask what they think could support the individual problems/issues etc

then call a meeting with everyone you need/want and go through your list, ask to see his IEP and ask them how they think they can support him

 

for example my son had great difficulty in a maths lesson-and one of the biggest reasons was the teacher drank coffee and he couldn't handle the smell on his breath when he talked to him-he displayed unwanted behaviour to get sent out of lesson.

 

Talk to your son and ask for his support-what things doesn't he like/what does he think would make it better etc-it may help.

 

Things started to change for us when I got the children's disability social worker involved-she was great. Even though my son had a statement it didn't support him-you just need to find the right support/person etc.

 

Keep talking on here it does help-I got to where my son needed to be to survive education and begin to enjoy it (he has no behaviour issues now) and hopefully we can support you to get your son there. Kepp talking XXX

 

[fitzron]

Thank you so much . This really helps me find a way forward.

[Karen A]

He doesn`t have a Statement .I have never seen an IEP . I suppose he must be on School Action Pus as they have called in the ASD team .

They have responded to him purely as a child with behavioural issues as far as I can tell .

Thanks for your help

 

Hi.If your son is on school action plus he should have an IEP.

Your first step might be to request a meeting with the SENCO in order to raise your current concerns formally and request that an IEP is put in place.

It is a difficult situation.You could request a Statutary Assessment but the panel may well decline.A Statutary Assessment is likely to be agreed only if school can show that they have exhausted all available resources in supporting your son with little effect.

Edited to add.Do ensure that truancy and any exclusions are documented formally.LAs are expected to consider disaffection when deciding whether to conduct a Statutary Assessment.Karen.

Edited September 27, 2009 by Karen A

[Karen A]

A contract was drawn up at the meeting to give teachers guidance on how to deal with his behaviour and for Greg to use a card when he needs to leave the room . Greg is reluctant to use the card as is desperate to be the same as others He has made no real connections with other members of staff and after the meeting instead of going into class he left school and rang me in tears.He would not go back into school. He has begun to truant recently.

The SENCO is very nice but seems to have little influence over the way other teachers treat him.

I don`t know which way to turn .

 

I am left wondering if there is no IEP if the contact was something like a behaviour contract.If it is then it is worth bearing in mind that such contracts are more to do with discipline and behaviour management.They work on the basis that a teenager is able to manage their behaviour but needs to agree to do so with support.They are not tailored on their own to meeting the needs of teenagers with SEN such as AS who do not know how to deal with particular situations or who become challenging due to anxiety.They should not be used by schools as an alternative to appropriate support for SEN.

It might be worth being clear that your son has SEN and that you want appropriate support to be put in place.I will see if I can find some information regarding behaviour contracts.I think parents do not have to sign one if they do not agree with it.

I cannot find anything on behaviour contracts.It may well be that they are set according to the individual School Behaviour Policy.It would be worth asking for a copy of both this policy and the SEN policy and ensuring that the school is acting in line with them.If not then complain.

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1763&a=3229

This link does provide some good ideas regarding contacting the school regarding SEN provision.

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1763&a=8791

This link might also be helpful.

Edited September 27, 2009 by Karen A

[JsMum]

 

 

 

Hi, as your son is already avioding school and truenting I would be very careful of any contact, what ever the first title is if it ends in contract you need to be aware it could be used in evidence and put forward for procecusion I do not want to scare you but help you be aware, some educational authorities ARE using contacts where it is totally not apropriate and against the policys of the contract, please read some of the information on the link, by agreeing to a contact you agreeing to a ANTI SOCIAL BEHAVIOURAL ORDER SECTION 19 so please be aware of the first stages of these.

 

I did not sign a thing and insisted the panel call it a Action Plan, J already had an IEP, STATEMENT in place, the problem was the enviroement of a mainstream setting, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture, and the reason they are ignoring his DX is because its cheaper to do so, they are totally ignoring his needs and it is disgusting.

 

JsMUMXXXX

 

http://publications.teachernet.gov.uk/defa...00530-2007&

 

 

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/b...iour/pcspospns/

 

 

[Karen A]

Hi, as your son is already avioding school and truenting I would be very careful of any contact, what ever the first title is if it ends in contract you need to be aware it could be used in evidence and put forward for procecusion I do not want to scare you but help you be aware, some educational authorities ARE using contacts where it is totally not apropriate and against the policys of the contract, please read some of the information on the link, by agreeing to a contact you agreeing to a ANTI SOCIAL BEHAVIOURAL ORDER SECTION 19 so please be aware of the first stages of these.

 

I did not sign a thing and insisted the panel call it a Action Plan, J already had an IEP, STATEMENT in place, the problem was the enviroement of a mainstream setting, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture, and the reason they are ignoring his DX is because its cheaper to do so, they are totally ignoring his needs and it is disgusting.

 

JsMUMXXXX

 

http://publications.teachernet.gov.uk/defa...00530-2007&

 

 

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/b...iour/pcspospns/

 

Thanks for finding those.

 

[purplehaze]

Just wanted to add

 

What Karen A said about disaffection-when my son was having difficulties before the statement all professionals kept mentioning there was a likely for him to be a school refuser as school was such a scary place for him and this really supported the statement as well as the other stuff. The government are focusing on this-so it may work for you if you could get the school to log in a meeting that your son already truants and could become a school refuser altogether-bring it up and then it will be in the minutes of your next meeting!!!

 

 

I also agree about being careful with what you sign!!!!!

[fitzron]

Just wanted to add

 

What Karen A said about disaffection-when my son was having difficulties before the statement all professionals kept mentioning there was a likely for him to be a school refuser as school was such a scary place for him and this really supported the statement as well as the other stuff. The government are focusing on this-so it may work for you if you could get the school to log in a meeting that your son already truants and could become a school refuser altogether-bring it up and then it will be in the minutes of your next meeting!!!

 

 

I also agree about being careful with what you sign!!!!!

 

[fitzron]

Thanks Karen A and PurpleHaze -really good advice. Feeso much more empowered now .