joybed Report post Posted October 8, 2009 Hi all some of you will remember we had problems with Marcus in year 8 which led to self harm, school refusal and a period of flexi schooling. School initially refused to accept their was a problem and were saying he was fine at school and were trying to make out it was a home problem but after getting the ASD team and parent partnership involved they listened and the LEA increased his support to 25 hours. He wobbled again a bit at the end of year 8 when choosing options but that was easily sorted and he settled again. At this time he started pulling out his hair at the roots and sometimes eating it which was spotted by school and brought to my attention (it was under the hairline of longish hair so i hadn,t noticed) over the holidays this continued and he has large bald patches. He returned to school and seemed happy with his timetable but on the second day their was an incedent of bullying and because Marcus responded in a way that was deemed innapropriate he was punished for it. The incedents of bullying have continued which i have reported to school and they say because most of it is happening on the service bus they can,t do anything other than tell the kids off. Since returning to school he has had much less homework than before which strikes me as odd as he has just started his 3 year GCSE course. Tonight however he did have homework Maths which is normally his strong subject and he really struggled saying he is so stressed he can,t concentrate and he had a massive meltdown and sat their eating his clothing (a real indicator of stress for him). He says he is finding it difficult to even cope in ICT which he is a whizz at and really loves. He also says he isn,t getting as much LSA time as is stated in his statement. Yesterday I looked around our local ASD school and the head said he is probably too bright for them, the school that has offered him a place the LEA won,t fund. The head at the school yesterday suggested another mainstream comp which has an ASD unit and has a good reputation which isn,t too far from us, however despite all the problems Marcus doesn,t want to change schools saying he doesn,t like change and would prefer to be unhappy at his current school than have to put up with change . I can,t get it through to him that he will eventually be more settled. HE is once again becoming violent, having very vocal and destructive tantrums which is obviously upsetting my other children. He is remorsefull after an icedent but has hit me twice in the last week, DH as usual is less than supportive and just tells me he will never be happy or achieve anything so to leave him to it, as you can imagine this is causing problems between us too. Any ideas, i am going to speak to the ASD team tomorrow to see if they can get to the bottom of the amount of support he is or isn,t getting and have written a letter to school regarding homework tonight. I think i will go and look around the other school then at least I will have an idea what it is like. Sorry once again for the long moan just as you think things are OK the boat rocks again (story of my life ). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted October 8, 2009 Ask the LEA to name part 4 of his statement of the school you want, when they refuse then Appeal. It is very likely that you will have to go down the sendist route to get him in a ASD school. If he continues been this unhappy in his presant school he will become totally disengaged and probably wont be in a mental enough state to do his GCSEs and show his true potential, I know he doesnt like change, but if its for a positive future he may be inclined to see just what this ASD school could offer him, has he had a visit. JsMumxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted October 8, 2009 Hi Joybed, yes I know your story, having similar here with son also in year 9 but at special school, too tired for long reply but just sending support from someone who knows how you are feeling, after a pretty settled period we know we are on the slippery slope again, keep strong. will try to post a better reply when less tired!!! Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
puffin Report post Posted October 9, 2009 We were in a similar position with M a couple of years ago (Now 13/AS) - the school was not meeting her needs, should was struggling to cope - but she was adament that she did not want to change - I think it comes down to making the transition non scary - the idea of moving to a new school that he cannot even visualise will be scary and may lead to feelings that it would be safer to stay in the (Bad) school that he knows. What you will need is lots of preparation - perhas some visits - just to look around without mentioning moving... What we negotiated was a "trial week" as an SEN unit attached to a mainstream shool - and she really enjoyed - the fact that it was only a "trial" made it somehow easier as there was always the option of retuning to the old school - she liked the workstations - she liked the small group with only 6 - she liked that they did "fun stuff liked cooking" - she liked the sofa for resting Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted October 9, 2009 (edited) He also says he isn,t getting as much LSA time as is stated in his statement. Hi.The LA is responsible for ensuring that provision is in place in line with the Statement.You can write to them to voice your concerns.There is a standard letter on the IPSEA web site. http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#NonImplementation Someone must be responsible for conduct on the bus.Do you know who provides the service ? The transport provider must have a complaints procedure.I would suggest documenting your concerns in writing.ACE provide some helpful advice regarding bullying. http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...ng-bullying.htm I think it is probably worth having a look at the other mainstream school.If the school is within the same LA it is likely to be easier to obtain the support of the LA for a different school to be named than if you were requesting specialist provision.However it might be worth investigating whether the current provision within the Statement would allow access to the ASD unit within the mainsream comp. It does sound as though Marcus is feeling very anxious.It is difficult dealing with violence. <'> Do you have any contact with CAMHS or other professionals who might be able to provide some support. Karen. Edited October 9, 2009 by Karen A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
