Home ed Mum Newbie

[suze79]

Hi Everyone

 

 

I am mum to J who is 10 and G who is 2. J was diaognosed with Dyspraxia 3 years ago and received OT but that was about as far as support went. In school I found them to be utterly useless and unsympathetic. J is a people pleaser who would sit and stare out of the window in his own wee world. He was going completely unnoticed in school, i think if he had been acting up and having tantrums it would of been a different story but it seemed to me he was putting all his energy into appearing "normal" and would go into a semi catatonic state in school.

 

I volunteered at the school (as they kept telling me he was fine) and to my dismay watched the shell of my son in class. It was like invasion of the body snatchers! Anyway, last year J was very unwell. Throwing up a lot and had a very high tempreture which was unlike him because he is rarely ill or should i say rarely complains. He ended up in hospital with a ruptured appendix. He never complained about being in pain only that he was bored and wanted to go home. He was agitated but just kept repeating he wanted to go home.

 

It was the doctors at the hospital who first said he may have aspergers and so sent us done the heartbreaking path of discovery. It was also a great relief because after much research everything seemed to make sense especially J's anxiety issues of which there are many. He was finally assessed in June and we were told that although J shares many of the characteristics of AS and he certainly is on the autistic spectrum they felt it would be "unhelpful" to brand him just know and would review him in a year.

 

After nearly losing my son when his appendix burst this was nearly as devastating. To be sitting there hoping your son as AS which you dont really want to be true but you know in your heart that he has it and if he doesnt get a diagnosis he wont get as much help as he needs and then to be told we will have him back in year was truly upsetting to say the least.

 

At this point school was becoming a major issue for J. I had reached the point were I was literally peeling him of the car seat and dragging him into school all the while he was in hysterics. He would get upset because the clock wasnt working in the class room. He would see a fly outside and would think it could get in. They were having building works going on and he couldnt deal with the noise. They had changed the route to the dinnerhall which really upset him. I would pick him up and his clothes would be chewed and wet because thats what he does when he is anxious. After countless meetings with the school and me giving examples of why Jacob was upset about school (the clock thing really confused them) I decided to home educate.

 

And so that is where we are now. Jacob is a lot happier. I just get so frustrated and sick of explaining why J behaves a certain way or why he cant have certain things. Outwardly J is an imaginative eccentric talktive boy. AS is such a hidden disability that a lot of my family members think it doesnt even exist.

 

Anyway sorry for such a long intro. Thanks for taking the time to read and I look forward to reading the posts.

 

Susan

 

[szxmum]

Hi Susan

 

Welcome to the boards <'>

 

My son is also a "shutdown" type - I imagine him having the most amazing out of body experiences . He also like a lot of people with AS has many, many anxiety issues.

 

 

AS is such a hidden disability that a lot of my family members think it doesnt even exist.

 

Ditto. I have found that soooo hard. My family have in turn both completely denied my son's Asperger's and blamed it on me. Not exactly what I was looking for when I turned to them for support.

 

Glad you posted. Take care, Szxmumxxx

 

 

 

 

[justine1]

Welcome to the forum <'> You seem to have had a bad time lately,but things seem to be more positive now you keep J at home.There are a few members who home educate so I am sure you will get plenty help and advice.It is not very helpful that your son has been told he is on the ASD spectrum but has no diagnosis,you should keep a diary of his behaviour (if you dont do so already) for when you go for your follow up appointment.Your story about the appendix reminds me of Sam he also doesnt really let us know when he is in pain,he had tonsillitis and chicken pox at the same time before and had been in pain for a week(according to GP) before we knew he was ill.

[suze79]

Thanks for the welcome . I'm really glad I found this forum. Its comforting to know that there are a lot of people I can identify with. Sometimes it can be pretty isolating when you are surrounded by people who dont really understand.

[Kathryn]

Welcome to the forum, Susan.

 

You've obviously been through a tough time. I hope home ed works out for you and your son.

 

K x

[smiley1590]

i was officially diagnosed with dyspraxia years earlier then found out something else in background hidden but always felt 'different' to my peer group etc it is normally dyspraxia is discovered first then out comes AS! as harder to spot if have one sometimes no one else looks for anything else really leave it at that! but family always knew something more there! i found mainstream system tough hard going difficult so stressful and anxious time for me and my parents i wasn't home educated though managed to pull through even with my mental health state dropping alot the time depression and anxiety i think schools can be bogged down with alot other stuff that goes on we get forgotten or not wanted to know wish so wrong at least you know can't happen here! and won't have sensory issues classroom noises c(conversations etc) getting lost confused frustrated ...... i know how education system mainstream can fail with individual support package and hurts upsets and angers me inside alot from the past still affects me and my life! find hard to trust professionals as let me down mess me around!

 

i have my fingers crossed for you and your son

wish you all the best in the best option you have chosen for you both!

 

XKLX

[Teresa]

Hi Suez79 welcome to the forum, yes your right it can get pretty isolating when you are surrounded by people who dont

 

really understand or don't want to understand AS, good luck with home ed.

 

Teresa