Initial school meeting

[Pinky]

after my warm welcome i thought i'd let you know how the meeting at schoolwent last week. I was quite woried as its the first time we've really spoken so openly outside our family about our concerns. The class teacher and senco were involved. they were brilliant, very supportive and nderstanding. didn't question us at all (biggest worry, thinking people are goin to dismiss what we think or say its our fault?). very reassuring that ES's behaviour within school is not shouting and screaming, as it can be at home, they described him as 'not a usual 4/5 year old' which we are fine about and understand what they mean. he gets very anxious if things change and ask 'lots' of questions. they agreed it could be along lines of ASD or he could be very intelligent? they didnt like to say, they happy to have him assessed and understand us, we feel. he has been refferred to the ed psych for assesment mite be a long wait, but we'll wait and see now seems like a positive start so far.

 

i've also told 2 of my closest friends our thoughts and they too hav been undestanding and supportive, not saying what i thoght they'd say 'dont be silly' or something like that? its quite a relief actally, to say how we feel. does anyone understand that feeling?

 

he missed his first nativity as we've both has a sickness bug! i felt so sorry forhim. the teacher told us that he'd been learning everyones lines, and if she'd forgotten who was playing the angel or which narator etc, he was there to tell her as he knew! sounds jst like him, he dont miss a trick! he's still poorly now, got terrible headache i think, but keeping food down.

 

we just had an awful hour!!!! he fell asleep on the sofa beside me, then woke up 45 mins lata sleep talking? then totally flipped out. he couldn't tell me what was wrong or why he wasso upset. screaming and shouting with pure rage. i remained totally calm, and tried to comfort him, with absolutely no joy whatsoever. then i tried just leaving him as he'd said, agin this went on for ages so i didnt like to just leave him. i was really worried so phoned hubby at work? dont know why, just reassurance really. then i sat him on the chair in the hall (which is in sight of the fron room, where we are) to calm down and said really clearly he was sitting there because he was screaming and shouting. i will get him in 4 mins when he is quiet and calm. he would calm down in the middle then demand to go on the computer. which i clearly but super calmly said no to as his beahviour was not good enough for this. (bearing in mind i knew he was poorly) he could go on it another day if he was good. i allowed him to go on one of his toys from his room, a thomas alphabet game which he loves, as a substitiute when he'd calmed down.

 

all is totally calm again now. it was almost as though he was having a nght terror? initially, bt then wen he was saying bout the computer, i dont know where that came from. he has had these in the past. the neighbours must wonder what goes on in this house? phoned hubby after to let him know all was calm! he hasnt really been like this for a long time.

 

hes like an angel now, chatting a bit saying he's gonna lie down in a second, bt he looks terrible. gonna snggle up in a mo and read stories.

 

sorry 4 all the waffle feel so bewildered, as i never know if i handle these sitations correctly. at least i didnt get cross. xxx

 

 

[NickyB]

Hi Pinky

 

I understand what you say about it being a relief to talk to people about it, and brilliant when they are understanding. My DSs school are fantastic and have been so supportive - it makes such a difference. We've certainly found out who our real friends are over the last few years. There have been a few who have kept their distance, but mostly people have been amazing.

 

It seems to me that you handled the situation with your little one brilliantly. It's the hardest thing to stay calm, but it really works.

 

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[JsMum]

 

 

Enjoy your snuggles, it sounds very comforting and cozy, oh bless, sorry to hear he is unwell, if his tempreture is going up it may be this that may be triggering the screaming, its all sensory, J becomes very fractous too when unwell.

 

It sounds like your doing a grand job, I found it very difficult when J was four and he wasnt dx at that time, so I thought it was just normal boy behaviour, and it was difficult to cope with so understand your comment of not knowing if your getting it right, Im still like it now and J is 12.

 

Hope that he gets better soon.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[Karen A]

after my warm welcome i thought i'd let you know how the meeting at schoolwent last week. I was quite woried as its the first time we've really spoken so openly outside our family about our concerns. The class teacher and senco were involved. they were brilliant, very supportive and nderstanding. didn't question us at all (biggest worry, thinking people are goin to dismiss what we think or say its our fault?). very reassuring that ES's behaviour within school is not shouting and screaming, as it can be at home, they described him as 'not a usual 4/5 year old' which we are fine about and understand what they mean. he gets very anxious if things change and ask 'lots' of questions. they agreed it could be along lines of ASD or he could be very intelligent? they didnt like to say, they happy to have him assessed and understand us, we feel. he has been refferred to the ed psych for assesment mite be a long wait, but we'll wait and see now seems like a positive start so far.

 

Hi pinky.

I thought I would say.It is possible to have a child who has AS and is intelligent.

We have Ben who is 11.He has AS and is very intelligent.

Some children who are very intelligent and are not well understood and supported can have some social difficulties in school with peers.

So all three options are worth bearing in mind.....ASD,intelligent or AS and intelligent.

Karen.

 

[justine1]

Hi Pinky

I agree with Karen my paediatrician said Aspergers is on the upper end of the spectrum so there are many AS people that are intelligent.My son is intelligent,great memory recall,which is almost what you have described with how your son remembers evrything about the nativity,good vocab and great reading skills but when it comes to social skills and understanding people he is at a loss.Great the school seem quite supportive.

With regards to his talking in his sleep and getting upset,again it could be the fact he is unwell,but I did notice you mention he slept on a sofa,only my son has had episodes such as that when he has fallen asleep in any place other than his bed,he gets so upset and he can go on screamng for three hours!Hope you both fell better soon. <'>

[Pinky]

hi, this is true about intelligence, worth baring in mind all 3 options too. hope i didnt word it wrongly, i think the school were just keeping an open mind?? well, i think, both my boys can't help being so clever, as they got me as their mum, they must take after me, he he!! lol!

 

we still got this blinkin bug! got beta in between, back again now! little son all beta, but ES laid out here with me sick again. phoned gp, and gona get a sample to her today. he seems more relaxed today, so i dont think we'll have the same as the other day screaming. i worked out after i think he must hav had a headache. i think he finds it hard to pinpoint where pain is and to even think aboit it whilst he is in any pain, its only after he can explain. thinkin back over the years with his constipation and any pains then i think this is true. he seems to be very sensitive to pain. i feel so sorry for him here, he's so pale and poorly lookin.

 

that rings bells too bout falling asleep in different places as he's got older, but only sometimes.

 

thanks for the lovely things said bout me doing well, its nice to think that you handled a situation well and calmly, i agree, it is vey difficult to stay calm sometimes. its actually good to here someone else say this too. <'>