Help

[Brady's Mum]

Hi

 

My 10 year old son has just been given a working diaganosis for aspergers and severe depression. He has always been 'different'. He has some of the more obvious symptoms of asd, he does like large groups, struggles making friends and gets very obsessed with things (but only for short periods) His self esteem is very low, and is very depressed at the moment. He thinks he rubbish at everything, that he's ugly and takes believes teachers are persecuting him when they are simply making throw away comments, or asking him to stop something. He hates school and cries most nights. He is very demanding as he almost always bored and not matter what I try to do with him he never wants to do it, he has no interest in anything other than James Bond at the moment. He is very loving however. He is unable to sleep and can't get up. He can't play games unless it is 'his'way. If he looses he becomes very angry and extremely jealous of his peers. He writes terrible things about friends that have annoyed him (as simple as scoring a goal pas him). He gets jealous of absolutely anything and everything. He is also showing extreme attention seeking behaviour at school with peers ans teachers...telling everyone about his 'problem' and using it as an excuse for poor behaviour. He has taken knives into school for protection. He is fully aware of right and wrong but does struggle with empathy!!

 

This all sounds so negative but he is very loving and when interested or in a good mood can be 'high' as a kite!! He can be charming and is sensible and very good at building things. What I'm really asking isare all the things I've written about part of the aspergers...how does the attention seeking fit in and how does his occassional hyper activity fit in (this was quite severe when he was younger)? Why can't he sleep? Any advice or simple reassurance that these things do fit Aspergers would be greatfully received.

 

Thanks Tina

[Tally]

Hello Tina, and welcome to the forum.

 

I am an adult with Asperger's, and many of the things you have written about your son applied to me at that age (and probably still now as well).

 

When a person has a combination of issues, it can be really difficult to work out what is caused by which. Sometimes a certain difficulty will be caused by a combination of both the AS and the depression.

 

A lot of people with Asperger's have difficulty sleeping. It can also be caused by mental health problems. If your son's sleep problems are lifelong then they are probably caused by Asperger's. If they are new, then they are probably related to the depression and should improve as he starts to recover. I have a lot of problems maintaining a good sleep routine. I find that forcing myself to get up at a sensible time for a few days eventually means I am tired enough to go to sleep at a sensible time and that helps me get back into a good routine. Some people find a drug called Melatonin helps with sleep. It's a hormone which occurs naturally in the body and causes sleep. It's not a sleeping pill as such, but encourages natural sleep.

 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be a really good way at looking at the individual issues a person with depression is experiencing. It can help you see things in a more realistic light and prepare you for ways to deal with situations. It might help your son cope better with the way he is over-focussing on minor criticisms. He should be able to access treatment for his depression, but you can also use CBT techniques yourself at home to help him.

[smiley1590]

to start off has he not been giving an official diagnosis what a working diagnosis of AS mean? you're researching information and gathering things at the moment? sorry slighty confused!!! deprression and other MH probs are common and likely to be linked and connected together

 

AS main traits that you've listed in your post:

 

many of these subjects are discussed in other subject forums on here so able to find other parents struggles and difficulties with their child to see if have any tips or advice in them for you

 

struggles making friends

obsessive behaviours

low self esteem/worth

hates dreads ( school phobia situation) anxious

unable to sleep and can't get up

lacks understanding of empathy

anger probs

 

i have low self -esteem i think i'm ugly worthless stupid etc as having to cope with AS can affect you so much emotionally/mentally alot of the time what you describe as " he gets a high as a kite" i and people i know with AS personally experience this rapid sudden emotional mood change switch from to extreme to the other in that sense it can be seen as like 'bipolar disorder' that why some people are misdiagnosed with mental illness before having official diagnosis of AS finally recognised

 

sleep problems / disorders are regular occurance with people with AS and this can be made more severe by MH probs such as depression anger also is AS but also depression low self esteem the same again most of this in this paragraph are both the two intwinted together which again isn't unusual to see

 

does he take meds for his severe depression does you and your son get help and support for his MH needs?

if he is officially diagnosed do you get help and support with his AS?

 

i used to have like spells at school of being 'hyperactive' not being able to sit still for too long talking not stop disruptive rude disrespectful really so iwhen i was younger had ADHD traits i lacked concentration so i know what you talking about there i was impulsive

 

depression can be so isolating frustrating annoying yet so can AS too to try and keep balanced on both is like a 'juggling act' and makes you so tired,drained and weak

 

has he been officially diagnosed with depression?

[smiley1590]

these web links may help you find more information about AS, Depression etc:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=128&a=3346

 

http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/faq.htm#12

 

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt68526.html

 

i know i'm not a parent but a AS young adult but what has helped me understand is reading books:

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parenting-Child-As...7745&sr=8-4

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergers-Self-Est...7850&sr=8-1

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergers-Syndrome...8045&sr=8-1

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergers-Syndrome...8045&sr=8-2

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parents-Asperger-S...8045&sr=8-3

 

 

[Brady's Mum]

to start off has he not been giving an official diagnosis what a working diagnosis of AS mean? you're researching information and gathering things at the moment? sorry slighty confused!!! deprression and other MH probs are common and likely to be linked and connected together

 

AS main traits that you've listed in your post:

 

many of these subjects are discussed in other subject forums on here so able to find other parents struggles and difficulties with their child to see if have any tips or advice in them for you

 

struggles making friends

obsessive behaviours

low self esteem/worth

hates dreads ( school phobia situation) anxious

unable to sleep and can't get up

lacks understanding of empathy

anger probs

 

i have low self -esteem i think i'm ugly worthless stupid etc as having to cope with AS can affect you so much emotionally/mentally alot of the time what you describe as " he gets a high as a kite" i and people i know with AS personally experience this rapid sudden emotional mood change switch from to extreme to the other in that sense it can be seen as like 'bipolar disorder' that why some people are misdiagnosed with mental illness before having official diagnosis of AS finally recognised

 

sleep problems / disorders are regular occurance with people with AS and this can be made more severe by MH probs such as depression anger also is AS but also depression low self esteem the same again most of this in this paragraph are both the two intwinted together which again isn't unusual to see

 

does he take meds for his severe depression does you and your son get help and support for his MH needs?

if he is officially diagnosed do you get help and support with his AS?

 

i used to have like spells at school of being 'hyperactive' not being able to sit still for too long talking not stop disruptive rude disrespectful really so iwhen i was younger had ADHD traits i lacked concentration so i know what you talking about there i was impulsive

 

depression can be so isolating frustrating annoying yet so can AS too to try and keep balanced on both is like a 'juggling act' and makes you so tired,drained and weak

 

has he been officially diagnosed with depression?

 

 

 

Hi

Thank you so much for all of that. Yes he has been diagnosed with sever depression through CAMS and is having intensive art therapy and has been put very recently on prozac. CAMS have referred him to CASDAS for an official diagnosis (or not) of aspergers. It seems recently he has got alot worse and is very aware of it which makes him even sadder. I just want to try and lift his spirits any way possible.

 

Thanks

Tina

[spottydog]

Hi Bradys mum. sorry to hear of your struggle. my son has diagnosis of AS. he sounds quite similar - he can switch from high as a Kite to extreme anger/tears in seconds and without any warning. Sometimes sons obsessions can help as they can be used to distract/calm him, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow! Cherish the good times, and take care of yourself. Living on a roller coaster ride is exhausting and you need to find some way of taking time out for you.

[cardiff_mum]

hi there one of the reasons i felt i had to reply is my son who is 4 used to suffer hyper activity fits and although i havent stopped them altogether, ive reduced them damatically by reducing the amount of sugar he has. on average kids should have about 70g per day, i find with J anything over 40-50g can cause the hyperactivity. now he drinks flavoured water- watch these, some contain additives, jus have a good look on the label of anyting your child eats. one of the main issues ihave with my son is his rigid eating and now i make my own cakes and biscuits (these are 2 of the 5 things he eats) and substitute and sugar for splenda-again, be careful, splenda is the only sugar substitute that doesnt contain additives and is pure.

also,the attention seeking IS perfectly normal with a child with AS. ADHD is quite common in kids with AS. and displaying symptoms of it is very usual. talk to one of the many docs im sure youll be seeing in the next coming months!

lastly, enjoy every minute of your child affection

i wish u luck and i hope that maybe this is some help to you

 

xx

[Lain]

Hi,

I have two sons on the spectrum, one of whom is AS. From what you have said these behaviors do fit in with Aspergers. It is so overwhelming at first when there seems to be so much you want to adddress, take each thing one at a time it makes it all so much more manageable.

 

Do you have regular contact with the school to come up with strategies for him so that school is easier to cope with?

 

My boys have trouble getting to sleep. They find it hard to 'switch off' ready for sleep time. The only thing i can suggest is to make sure you have a structured consistent bed time routine (maybe using a visual timetable) with some wind down time in there some where.

 

Don't know if any of this helps at all, but wish you luck.