Got my fighting spirit back!

[Sallya]

going to tribunal, the head and SENCO are coming with me. Been a bit all over the place lately, but back on form now .

[Kathryn]

Hi Sallyanne,

 

It's a long hard slog, but keep going, you're doing really well. And who knows, your LEA may back down before you get to that stage.

 

K

[sel]

Hiya, sallyanne

 

I could do with some fighting spirit...Think i'm gonna need it!. Any chance of borrowing any!!???.

All the best, hope it works out for you.

[Hectorshouse]

Good luck for the Tribunal, its great that you've the head and SENCO on side as well, keep that fighting spirit up, try and remember that the majority of parents who end up going to SENDIST win.

 

Thinking of you.

 

HHxx

[Sallya]

Kathryn, I owe you a great big thankyou, for always saying the right thing.

 

Its amazing what one phone call can do to turn your whole week upside down.

 

Spoke to SENDIST, to let them know I would be sending dates we were available to them the next day; later SENDIST called me to say that the 2 weeks following 18 July were inconvienient for the LEA , and they were suggesting 4 or 6 July. Effectively bringing the tribunal forward by week and a half, limiting the days I can take the head. Waiting for the head to confirm if she can still make it.

 

HH thankyou

 

Sel, if I can do it so can you. I am the quietest, least confident person you can imagine, but at the heart of all this, is a little boy who needs help, and cant do it himself. So Im not taking no for an answer. I will do the best I can for him. And the LEA can stick their new funding system.

xxx

Edited May 26, 2005 by Sallya

[Kathryn]

Hi Sallyanne,

 

I'm glad to be of any help, however small. I've been encouraged so much by others on this forum myself.

 

Don't let the LEA bully you! You are equal participants in this process. The dates have to be convenient for both parties. Ask your head to give you a list of dates around that time when she is definitely not available. I don't know if you know this but Sendist can direct a witness to appear if they are considered to be important to the case, so you can still get your head to come by following this procedure, if necessary.

 

K

[Sallya]

Have set a date because I dont want to have to wait until September

xxx

[sel]

Hi sallya,

 

Thanks so much for the encouragment!!, I am much the same, quiet and shy. Up tilll now i have just 'took' everything that was thrown at me. I wouldnt confront anyone. To scared of rocking the boat!.

 

Even now i am worried that i,ve upset the school by asking for copies of my son's education record. I know the letter i wrote should get there today, and i'm regretting sending it!!!.

 

I need to speak to head to ask what she thinks about this so called new amended statement and to be honest, i'm pooing myself, cos i know she'd have got my letter!!.

 

My trouble is i'm too nice!!!. got scars on my tongue to prove it! ( where i've bit it so hard! )

 

hope everything works out for you, keeping my fingers crossed for you,

all the best.

 

Sel,

[Hectorshouse]

Hi Sel, I know how you feel, I used to feel this way as well, I never liked to rock the boat etc ...

 

Don't worry about the HT because you have asked to see the records, loads of parents do it nowadays when they have SEN issues, it is part of the process. She shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable, and if she does she is acting very unprofessoinally. You have a right to see these records, try not to regret asking for them, they are a very useful to you in the SEN process.

 

I think its your HT that probably more worried about seeing you especially as it was the HT that has neglected to inform you visits for assessment that you haven't been included in and the poor handling of meds. Try to remember they work for you, and they are answerable to us parents, not the other way around.

 

We put our children into their care during the school day, if your child was with a child minder or such like, you would automatically read records and not feel intimidated as you pay them directly. I know that HT's cannot be directly compared to a child minder, but the fact is we do pay the HT's and teaching staffs wages, through our taxes and NI and council tax etc ... they have a duty of care, to which we entrust our precious children.

 

You are not being a bad parent, you are being a good parent, you are being an advocate for your child. The HT has her own agenda, her own life, the school and all its pupils, the LEA etc ... not just your child.

 

You are not alone, and there is huge support here, you have done nothing wrong and if the HT has been following legislation correctly then she shouldn't have any concerns about your request. I still feel sometimes like a pupil when dealing with teaching staff, and I have to really take a grip of myself to be strong.

 

HHxx

[nellie]

Well said HH!!

 

Although I do think there should be an equal partnership between parents and professionals. It can be difficult to achieve though.

 

Nellie xx

[Hectorshouse]

Hi Sallya, I really hope that everything goes ok, have you got representation for yourselves, in some cases you can get legal aid in the preparation of your case, also you are entitled to travel expenses and so are your witnesses, SENDIST should send you form about this.

 

Below is a link to Sandy Row's Website for her book, 'Surviving the SEN System: How to be a velvet bulldozer' the book is brilliant and some fab advice, she has been throught the SENDIST procedure several times.

 

http://www.special-educational-needs.co.uk/index.htm#6

 

Good luck, HHxx

[Hectorshouse]

I totally agree with you nellie, there should be an equal partnership between parents and professionals, but I think the sad reality is that there isn't. I think more HT's and SENCO's are becoming more forthcoming, and realising that parents are gaining an understanding of the SEN system a lot quicker these days, mainly due to forums like these, this is because we as parents do not have a budget orientated agenda and are not responsible to the LEA's.

 

I think a lot of schools are struggling as much as parents are, they recieve huge pressure from their LEA's to reduce costs across the board, and unfortunately SEN is one of those areas that gets hit the most, as it is the most expensive, hence the LEA's reluctance to commit to appropriate provision, when they could easily fob uninformed parents off.

 

I tend to play devils advocate with our school most of the time, keeping them friendly enough not to ostracise us completely, but also making them very aware that I now the SEN system inside and out, and I will not be fobbed off by them or the LEA anymore, but saying that there always has to be an element of compromise, have won a few battles, but I might not win the war completely, but hopefully I will have secured provision for T that is according to HIS needs and not the LEA's or school's SEN budget needs.

 

HHxx

 

(ps. the whole process has turned me into a huge cynic ... I don't think thats a bad thing though)

[nellie]

HH,

 

(ps. the whole process has turned me into a huge cynic ... I don't think thats a bad thing though)

 

I have to agree.

 

Nellie xx

[sel]

Hiya,

 

I'm so glad that its not just me who feels like a naughty child when i have to talk to a teacher or walk into the head teachers office!!!!.

 

thanks for all the advise,

 

Sel,

[Kathryn]

I agree - I feel the same - I think dealing with school staff drags up all sorts of memories for most of us.

 

I used to be very unforthcoming with the school, even this time last year I was almost apologising because my child wasn't coping and needed extra support! I felt like a nuisance every time I had to phone up, and I did that less often than I should have done.

 

I've had to learn assertiveness, and now I get treated with respect as the school knows I know the system and they can't fob me off. In fact I get treated like a minor celebrity when I go in to meet with the senco or drop something off - even by the receptionists who used to be very snooty..

[Hectorshouse]

Ah Hah ... speak the language of the natives and you are sure to be welcomed into the inner sanctums ....

 

Long may forums such as these be around to empower parents with the knowledge that those in positions of authority (the LEA/School etc) avoid making readily accessible, or understandable.

 

HHxx