advice on changing schools

[kasia]

Hi Everyone,

 

I'm new to the forum so firstly hello to you all.

 

Please accept my apologies if this has already been asked - I'm still finding my way around.

 

My husband and I supect our son has aspergers and he is at present on the waiting list to see a child psychologist (?) but have yet received no appointment date. He is 7 and all of his teachers so far have picked up that he is quirky. I spoke to the GP about him who referred him to CAMHS, but she had a letter back saying his symptoms weren't severe enough for him to be referred (even though neither the GP nor anyone form CAMHS) had seen him.

 

I then saw the school nurse who spoke to me about his behaviour and agreed that he should be assessed, but this was 6 months ago. Apparently 2 of the team of 3 are off on maternity and sick leave.

I'm not too bothered about the wait, although it would be great to get some techniques with dealing with his behaviour.

 

My concern is that he is currently at an infants school and is due to leave in July. The progression would normally be to the junior school next door where his (only) 2 friends are going. We are fortunate enough however to be able to send him to a private school about 10 minutes further away, but I'm really nervous anout taking him away from his only friends and leaving him in a situation where his poor social skills will be tested. He is however very keen to go to the private school, and the provision there for children with special needs appears to be far better than in the local state school. I'm assuming he would benefit from smaller class sizes?

 

I suspect he has AS due to the following character traits

 

• Constant questions, doesn't take his turn in class and calls out

• Not listening/ concentrating/silliness

• Incredibly embarrassed if his teacher has to discipline him, puts his hands over his ears, runs away

• Fidgeting, inability to sit still. Chews his collar and nails

• Interrupts conversation

• Anxious in new situations/ doesn't like change to weekly routine

• Not able to use a knife and fork very well, and writing skills and gym poor

• Has only 2 friends – very reliant on these, actually children of my friends, rather than friendships he has instigated

• Tantrums/ gets very frustrated

• OCD – everything has to be in the correct place. Becomes very anxious when it’s not. • Controlling – acts as if he’s an adult

• Academically intelligent – loves space, science, facts

 

Coupled with the fact that I'm sure as I child my social skills were very poor and I was incredibly anxious and shy. Infact I'm sure if I was a child today, my teachers would have had the same conversations with my parents - I once threw a piece of plasticine at a teacher because I was so afraid of his beard - I was only 6!!

 

Any advice with changing his schoool would be really appreciated - I'm really concerned about making a decision and it being the wrong one.

 

Many Thanks

 

Kate

 

[caci]

Hello - I don't claim to be an expert, but I am mum to a child with PDD-NOS.

 

As far as I can tell, the whole support system in schools is based on the state schools and not private. If you choose to pay for an independant education, I am concerned that you may find the education system offers you no support at all.

 

It is a very difficult choice, and I am not sure from your post if you have started on the school action, school action + route, with a view to applying for statutory assessment (and hopefully a statement). If you haven't statrted yet, the whole process could take a couple of years, but can you wait that long ?

 

Catch 22 isn't it.

 

Hopefully someone will be able to confirm how things work if you move into the private edcuation sector.

[madsadie]

Have you actually spoken to the private school about his problems? I have been trying to find a private school for my son (though he's 13 ) and I can't find one that will take him because of his problems - he doesn't have behaviour issues, mainly very shy and anxious. Some private schools have glowing special needs departments but they don't want ASD children, even very high functioning. I have a friend who's son has aspergers and he went to a private school which did not understand him at all and they ended up moving to go to another private school where he is currently doing really well. They do have to pay for any extra help on top of the fees. However the senior department does not give the same level of support so when he goes there things may or may not change.

 

Have you considered a private educational psychologist's assessment?

 

When my son went to junior not many children from the infants went to his school, so he did find it difficult until his younger brother and friend went 2 years later. Then he loved it and didn't want to leave! Nowadays there is more in place for help with transitions so it will probably be easier for your son especially as most of his peers will be there.

 

If you want to go down the private route, my advice would be to make sure they are understanding.

Hope I haven't burbled on too long.

Good luck

 

 

[Sally44]

As already stated, if you go private the LEA will have no responsibility for him. That may mean he does not get Speech Therapy, Occupational therapy - if he needs it. If he gets a diagnosis of AS that does mean he has clinically significant areas of difficulty to get a diagnosis.

HOWEVER

The SEN system is graduated and complex. For a child with Aspergers who is doing okay academically you will need to get him on school action plus (School should then ask the SALT and EP to see him). And they would need to identify that he has areas of need. If he is learning okay, that might be around social communication and interaction skills, attention and concentration, sensory issues etc.

You would then need to request an assessment from the LEA towards a Statement where those needs and the provision for them would be quantified and specified. That in reality is going to be a couple of years down the line. Because at any stage the LEA might either refuse to assess, or refuse to issue a Statement. That would mean you have to appeal to tribunal. That is why it may take so long. Once he has a Statement the LEA are going to try to reduce it to minimum input. So you may need to repeatedly get private reports for evidence that he needs ongoing SALT and OT.

 

Alternatively. If the private school are aware of your concerns that he may have Aspergers, but is doing okay academically. They maybe able to help with his difficulties especially if it is a smaller school environment.

If you are financially able you are able to involve a SALT to put together a programme for you at home, and the school might even be able to incorporate some of that into his school day.

 

Of course all of this costs money. But you also may have to spend a considerable amount of money to achieve the same thing via the LEA SEN Statementing system.

 

I would look at the different school environments and which one you think your son would cope best in. I would speak with the private school and see how they would address his needs as you see them.

 

Regarding his friends. Our children have difficulties with social skills. Sending him to an inappropriate school because he knows one child there is not a good enough reason. My son has moved schools and he has made a new friend. There are also other avenues you can explore, such as cubs that would widen his social experience. If you do consider cubs then look for a group that already has at least one member already on the autistic spectrum.

[justine1]

HI

Sally44 makes some very valid points with regards to help he will recieve from the LEA.I think you may need to go to your GP or phone Parent Parnership(through the council) and insist that your son is seen as a matter of urgency because you need to sort out schooling by July,prehaps his teachers or Head can also write to them to push it along,6 months seems like a very long time to wait.I was told 6 mths is the maximum time and I was lucky to get my sons first assesment 1 mth after refferal.

The whole assesment and diagnosis process took nearly four mths,so I would say you need to put more pressure on them,they may have even assumed you no longer want the appt,it does happen.

 

Another thought is,if he didnt have any "problems" would you still want to send him to a private school? If he gets a diagnosis there are private AS schools some of whom may do the statutory assesment which would help.Again you could look around now before he has his assesment maybe even put his name down.I think it would be awful if he starts at one school and then has to change at a later date,so its diffenatley going to be a case of getting everything rolling ASAP!

[JsMum]

Hi Kate

 

He sounds a lot like my lad, he too loves facts, and he is forever interupting me, J says he does this because he forgets very quickly what he is about to say, if he has to wait he may forget, thats his explanation anyway, your son has a fair few descriptions there that could prove he has complex needs, because he has the intelligence but has difficulties too, so I would say he has Co Morbids, this is where a child has more than just AS but has a few things together for example Dyspraxia and ADHD or ADD, and defo Sensory issues there too.

 

I would write your concerns and put it in a letter to your GP and ask for an urgent assessment, and ask the letter be added to your sons medical notes then there is at least evidence that you suspect Aspergers Syndrome and put in the details you wrote here about you having to wait six months, you could ring PALS your local NHS Patients Advisory Service and get further information on Assessments for ASDs, for example other Hospitals take referrals such as Great Ormond Street Hospital.

 

What is essential is that the school are aware that your son needs support in the areas you have described and they should meet those needs, a child doesnt need a dx to get their needs met, someone just has to show concern, and in the meantime go down the road of Assessments as that can take a while.

 

I recommend National Autistic Society who have can offer you a information pack and if you where interested in a private DX a list of NHS and Private Educational Psychologists.

 

I hope you get somewhere soon as this process is not an easy journey, I think personally its the worse bit, suspecting it but having difficulties getting it identifyed and DX, but even so to have got to this stage must be a small reliefe to know that he may well have AS.

 

All the best, let us know how you get on.

 

JsMumxx

 

Edited March 26, 2010 by JsMum

[Karen A]

Hi Kate and welcome to the Forum.

We have Ben who is 11 and has AS and dyspraxia.Ben is also very bright.Nobody picked up that he had any SEN until he was 7.

 

 

Of course all of this costs money. But you also may have to spend a considerable amount of money to achieve the same thing via the LEA SEN Statementing system.

 

 

I just thought I would say that although some parents do obtain private reports from SALT,OT or other professionals and some obtain specialist legal advice a Statutary Assessment and Statement do not have to cost anything to parents.....other than a vast amount of reading,thinking and writing.

IPSEA,ACE and NAS all provide excellent written information.They also provide telephone advice.Parent Partnership also provide free local advice and support.

When Ben obtained a Statement all of the reporst were provided by LA and NHS other than a couple of brief letters written by a TAEKWOONDO teacher and club leader which cost us nothing.

 

We went from no SEN input and no awareness of possible SEN to a Statement and diagnosis of dyspraxia within the time limits specified in the COP.

 

I think it would be reasonable to go back to your GP and request that CAMHS reconsider seeing your son again..I don't think it is satisfactory that they decided your son does not have AS without even seeing him or yourself.Perhaps the teacher or SENCO could also contact CAMHS to support your request.

Karen.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Karen A