My son confuses dreams with the real life

[dana]

Hi,

 

My son (has ASD) told me that he was killing spiders last year because he dreamed one giant spider in front of our house and he was afraid of it..

He was also upset on his treacher and told her that he dreamed that she was beating him with a stick and he believes that she will do it. She and SENCO had to reasure him that this will never happen.

Recently, I observed that he keeps putting coasters up side down. I asked him why he did it and he told me that he dreamed that the pictures from the coasters 'spread' to his own favourite pictures.(printing pictures of his favourite characters is his main obssesion).

I know that the main problem for children with ASD is mixing fantasy with the real life but I don't know if this is also common.

 

Danaxxx

 

[JsMum]

I feel sometimes we have these dreams when were Anxious, how is his relationship with his Teacher, I know Defo that Js dreams do get mixed up with Fantasy and Reality, I have noticed that his dreams are more enhanced if he watches Films that have Distrubing matierial which is getting harder now as he is 13 and many 12A films are just as scarey as 15, have you seen G I Joe The rise of the cobra, that is scarey I can tell you and its a 12x even some cartoons can be pretty gruesome now especially as special effects and enhanced imagary all help.

 

In dreams we have less control too, maybe he feels overwhelmed by this?

 

My son had Art Therapy as he was really having distrubed dreams, usually of Killings, it transpired he was highly anxoius at school/mainstream enviroements, and sensory issues.

 

We discuss his Dreams openly now, we may draw or listen to a guided medication cd or let him have time out in his sensory room, he still has nightmares but he has support stratagies and he is learning to talk about his anxieties and we help him deal with his feelings, which often he says he felt scared, he couldnt fight back in his dream that kind of thing.

 

We have also ensured he has a drink and a snack in the evening as he was suffering hypoglicemia which made his dreams worse as his blood sugar levels dropped making him week, we need energy even in our sleep especially if were fighting giant spiders/monsters!

 

JsMumxxx

 

Edited March 22, 2010 by JsMum

[coolblue]

J's mum; why does he want to watch films that might cause bad dreams?

 

My son is 11 but struggles with wildlife documentaries if something dies. Apart from cartoons we're familiar with, I have to watch everything either before he does or with him. We frequently have to turn off the tv because he can't cope - and he only watches cartoons or documentaries.

 

cb

[JsMum]

J's mum; why does he want to watch films that might cause bad dreams?

 

My son is 11 but struggles with wildlife documentaries if something dies. Apart from cartoons we're familiar with, I have to watch everything either before he does or with him. We frequently have to turn off the tv because he can't cope - and he only watches cartoons or documentaries.

 

cb

 

Its not the Film that causes Bad dreams, but his high Anxieties, if he watches a graphic film it can give his dreams more realisitc feeling is what I was saying.

 

The DVD was classed a 12 he is a teenager now and wants to watch more grown up films I guess, and it was a DVD night and we did watch this together, he actually borrowed this DVD so we didnt vet it first but with it been a 12 I felt it was going to be oright, the back says contains moderate violence, about the same violence as Kong Fu Panda, but it was the special effects that caused it to be more graphic, even spider man, xmen ect are contiaining more violence now, Its just the way films are moving forward, he watched Avatar at cinema, a FANTASTIC film but he did get scared with the big panther type cat that had fangs and and alsorts, he does enjoy these movies and I do stick with the Age rated films, his peers have watched the whole of the SAW series films but J hasnt as I know he wouldnt cope, but there are films that have moderate violence/monsters ect and just expressing how these films can contribute to giving dreams more graphic pictures but I dont ban them just to add J is High functioning ASD.

 

JsMumx

 

Edited March 22, 2010 by JsMum

[lisac]

I have always wondered about people with autism dreaming . I put this to the psych team , but they couldnt answer . I mean, everyone dreams at some point , dont they? How confusing for those more severley affected by autism, surely it would have a negative/confusing effect

[JsMum]

Is your son on any medication such as Melatonin, again those wont cause bad dreams, but because he has finally gone to sleep he is possibly in a more deep sleep, just wondered really.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[dana]

Thank you all for your replies.

It seems to me that dreams for my son have the same importance as everyday life. He told me that each night he dreamed that he spoke with Jesus, asking Him for advice what to do at school. His relationship with his teacher was not good. She didn't understand his difficulties and often treated him like a naughty child rather than the child with ASD, although she tried hard and put a lot of pressure on him to achieve academically. She was often angry at him. My son found very difficult to cope at school this year (still finds) and from a happy child last year became a child who can barely wait the school to finish. However, this has changed now a bit after his breakdown at school, a couple of weeks ago when he told his teacher with tears,I have never seen him so upset, (in front of me and SENCO) that he was dreaming every night that she was beating him (he didn't believe me when I told him that this was not going to happen) , that she hates him, and wants him expelled out of school. He also told her that he made a chart with HER behaviour towards him and that he ticked more bad than good!! I offered to negotiate and asked ds what he didn't like about his teacher's behaviour, to put it on paper. He came up with things like: Not to shout at him (he gets scared), to give him more time to think. Since then, his teacher changed her behaviour and doesn't shout at him and my son is happier now.His teacher is now happier with his behaviour as well. From Easter he will get TA 21 hours. I hope that she will understand him and he will not have bad dreams about her as well.

 

danaxxx

Edited March 22, 2010 by dana

[justine1]

My son had a negative dream about me about a week ago.He said I was very tall and kept smacking him,he was "afraid" of me for the day,avoiding me.I kept reassuring him that I could never be cruel to him,he was fine the next day.It did make me feel bad/guilty like maybe I wasnt listening to him or was mean in some way on the day/night he had the dream.

 

I would say he definatley has more vivid dreams,good and bad,he is able to remember and describe things in great detail but he generally accepts its just a dream and sometimes even laughs about it when its strange.

[Shnoing]

I remember that it didn't make much difference to me whether something happened in a dream or in reality. I think now that this phenomenon might be a side-effect of the 'weak central coherence' - the different images that one remembers need not form a 'bigger picture'.

At about age 12 I realized that the images I saw in my dreams were a bit hazy in the background and therefore I was able to tell the difference - already during the dream.

In hindsight, I don't recall making connections between dreams and reality, although both felt very similar to me.