Hi Newbie after advice / thoughts please

[davers79]

Hi all

 

I've never posted on this board before so I hope I'm posting in the right place.

 

Sorry in advance this is really long but I'd like to know what other people think... I've had concerns for along time that something isn't quite right with DD who is 10. A friend has suggested she may have mild autistic tendancies especially pragmatic/semantic language and maybe aspergers tendances. Can anyone relate to any of this?

 

DD is generally well behaved, happy, smiley, good natured, constantly trying to please other people (almost to the extreme and to the detriment of what she should be doing!). She is not at all assertive by nature and never demanding for material things. She loves 121 attention especially from adults who she is more confident around than other children.

As a young child her speech and language developed without any concerns and by the time she started school she could read and was the most advanced reader in the class. Over the years her progress has slowed and she now reads books at home aimed at 7-8yr olds, anything more complex she seems to just read the words but not really understand the story behind it.

Has a very good long term memory for unimportant details i.e. what we ate on holiday 2yrs ago, but her short term memory is poor and so is her concentration. Often when we are busy or going out shopping she says “Mum, we need a plan ...” and she likes to know exactly what we are going to do.

She has always had very poor organisational skills and needs constant prompting to get ready for school in the morning (much more than most children!), and she can’t manage her time even in a basic way to do her homework. We have created a “To Do” list for the mornings so she knows exactly what she has to do before she leaves for school. She can happily spend 2-3hours sitting in the dining room doing homework that should take 30mins – this happens even with tasks which she definitely understands – it doesn’t mean anything to her that she could get her homework finished quickly and then have the evening to have fun and do something she wants to do.

Often over explains something, i.e she would go into minute detail talking to her Step-Dad about cleaning the car, almost as if she thinks he has never seen or done it before. Equally she often speaks in statements with very little information about what shes talking about, where, when, why to help us understand what she means. She can read her book for homework, then if asked to re-tell what she has just read she will pick out the unimportant detail and not get the main story.

Her baby brother has a “Peppa Pig - Noisy Day” book where the pigs “oink, oink, oink” because they have having so much fun! She recently asked “Why is it called Noisy Day when they play in the snow and snow is quiet?” and “How can it all happen in one day? If its snowing they can’t jump in muddy puddles and go on their bikes?”. She seems to take some things very literally which I would have thought a 10yr old would be able to understand / work out easily.

She is very socially immature for her age and shows some inappropriate behaviour which concerns me. She has been the target of bullying on and off at junior school (the teachers have been good and resolved things where necessary). Conversationally her sentences are immature and full of long pauses, errrs and umms and often aren’t fluent. When telling a story i.e about her day at school she repeatedly goes off track and explains in too much detail things that are irrelevant. Her sentences come out jumbled and rambling and often people (including her friends) switch off to what she is saying. She sees things in a very black and white way, she seems to have quite a logical way of thinking and doesn’t understand / can’t follow all the playground bickering and arguments that take place in the same way that her peers can – she takes things very literally. Her sense of humour is immature and very visual, she still doesn’t understand how to make up a joke (i.e. the kind you would get in a joke book).

Shes unable to maintain friendships, instead she drifts between several groups of people at school but is always the outsider. This doesn’t seem to bother her and she also plays with children in lower year groups or a couple of boys in her year who have special needs. Often her friends say to her “what ARE you doing?!” when shes doing something immature or inappropriate. Her friends tell her “you aren’t right”, “you’re on another planet”, but none of these comments seem to bother her like they would other girls her age. Often the children say quite hurtful / mean things to her but she doesn’t seem to understand the meaning behind what they say – I guess this is a good thing to a certain extent, at least she isn’t constantly upset!

She is often very hesitant when someone asks her a question, she doesn’t seem to know how to answer and is often silent. If the question is repeated and simplified she will answer but it is often jumbled or not a direct answer to the question originally asked.

She has always been very bad at entertaining herself and has always needed adult interaction. She never plays “properly”, she likes imaginary games with dolls etc but her attempts at games go off track and she never gets “into it”. She doesn’t have any interests and would quite happily spend all of her spare time doing nothing if we let her and it wouldn’t bother her. She has always done afterschool activities since she was young like swimming, judo, brownies and now guides but shes is never that bothered about them and she never minds if she misses a session. When being told off for being naughty She has never been bothered by punishments, removing toys or privileges doesn’t have any effect on her.

 

She has been slow to develop her motor skills compared to her peers. She was unable to catch a ball until she was approx 8yrs and has only mastered handstands and cartwheels in the past year. Her fine motor skills i.e. handwriting are also below average and it has taken her a long time to get it reasonably tidy. Her handwriting has improved a lot in the past year but her teachers always say it remains inconsistent in neatness and speed of writing.

She doesn’t always seem to know how to act in certain situations especially around her own age group. She used to jump up and down as she spoke for no real reason and she runs / dances around like a much younger child making silly noises, which again causes her friends to say “what are you doing?!”. She often does things like this that are inappropriate for her age and doesn’t understand when told to calm down.

 

I went to see her teacher at the end of last year and she is achieving average grades in her class. Her strengths are definitely more scientific subjects than language. She is due to start secondary school in September and I am extremely worried how she will cope there. I really feel there is more of a problem than just “growing up”, as she seems so far behind her peers in so many ways and over time it is becoming more obvious.

 

Thanks for reading and sorry its so long!

x

 

 

[got the tshirt]

Your Dd sounds very similar to my Dd3 who is currently being assessed for an ASD. My daughter is 7 but the difference in her understanding of language is already becoming more obvious. The other girls at school are moving forward in their social language much more quickly than my Dd3, she takes everything literally and starts conversations in a very random way.

You have come to the right place, there are loads of people with loads of great advice on this forum.

Edited April 12, 2010 by got the tshirt

[Karen A]

Hi davers and welcome to the Forum.

 

We have Ben who is 11.Ben was diagnosed with AS just over a year ago after three years of debate.

Having read your post I can understand why you are wondering about your daughter having AS.

Have you ever asked for a referal for assessment or talked with your GP about your thoughts ?

Although myself and others might have opinions the only way to obtain a thorough assessment is to request a referral to the team in your area who assess older children regarding ASD.If you talk to your GP taking with you the information you have provided here then they should be aware of how to organise a referral.

Before Ben was diagnosed with AS for three years he had a diagnosis of dyspraxia.It took some time for professionals to decide that Ben had enough dificulties with Social Communication to warrent an AS diagnosis.Children with dyspraxia have difficulties with planning and activities that require co-ordination such as games and sport.They may also be imature.So it may be worth reading about dyspraxia too.

We found that Ben needed a lot of support with transition to Secondary School.Bullying has been an issue and it is becoming more obvious that Ben finds social communication more difficult than his peers.So it might be worth considering requesting a referral sooner rather than later as there is often a waiting list.

Karen.

 

 

[davers79]

Thank you both for your replies <'>

 

I managed to get a GP appointment, I went without DD as I didn't want her to hear me discussing all my concerns initially (her self esteem is already low, I didn't want her to hear a load of negatives of things she can't do). The GP was good and I also took my 4 page letter of all my concerns and examples! Shes referring DD to a peadiatrician for assessment.

 

Really hope the assessment comes through quickly as she only has 1 term left at primary school and I'm so worried about the transition to secondary school.

 

Thanks again, I'm sure I'll be back here asking loads of questions

 

 

[zenemu]

It certainly sounds like she shows a lot of AS traits. I suspect a diagnosis before secondary school and a meeting with the teachers at the new school will be very helpful for her. Secondary school can be a bit of a trail for most kids I think, but adding ASD or AS into the equation makes things a lot more complicated. Having as much background support as possible is going to be very important to make school life as easy as possible for her.

 

Good luck with the assessment.

 

Zen

[Kathryn]

Welcome to the forum, davers79.

 

That's an encouraging start to your quest for answers about your daughter. I hope you don't have to wait too long for the assessment.

 

K x

 

 

[trekster]

Your Dd sounds very similar to my Dd3 who is currently being assessed for an ASD. My daughter is 7 but the difference in her understanding of language is already becoming more obvious. The other girls at school are moving forward in their social language much more quickly than my Dd3, she takes everything literally and starts conversations in a very random way.

You have come to the right place, there are loads of people with loads of great advice on this forum.

 

She also sounds like me except i got upset by the comments other kids made and i was able to make my own entertainment.

That doesnt exclude the possibility of an ASD though. i would get her assessed asap even writing a letter to your GP detailing what you have

just told us.

 

Good luck.

[Sally44]

You can ask your LEA for their list of maintained, independent and approved schools.

Your LEA may have a school that is dedicated or enhanced resource for language and communication difficulties.

 

From your post she definately sounds like she has a speech and communication disorder. Whether it all falls under semantic pragmatic speech disorder I don't know. Lots of things similar to my son, and other things different too. My son has improved alot with weekly speech therapy 1:1 in school.

 

My son too would not give enough information to understand what he was telling you. We worked on a narrative structure for a long time and he is improved no end. He also used to give totally unrelated answers to questions. He uses a mixture of spontaneous and echolalic speech.

 

As she also has some movement and co-ordination issues, it might be useful to look at the cognitive symptoms of dyspraxia.

 

Also look at Executive Functions too.

 

The fact that she is not making progress would suggest there are some basic underlying skills that are either missing or poor therefore she has progressed to the ceiling of her current abilities. She may continue to improve, or she may need work on specific areas to help her make further progress.

 

You've not got much time with only one term before the summer break. Diagnosis usually takes a while. But start looking at the different schools and see what is out there. You may be able to get your daughter a place at a mainstream place that has a speech/communication unit attached to it.

 

As well as looking at Aspergers also look at Non Verbal Learning Disorder. They are similar, but also different.

[davers79]

You can ask your LEA for their list of maintained, independent and approved schools.

Your LEA may have a school that is dedicated or enhanced resource for language and communication difficulties.

 

From your post she definately sounds like she has a speech and communication disorder. Whether it all falls under semantic pragmatic speech disorder I don't know. Lots of things similar to my son, and other things different too. My son has improved alot with weekly speech therapy 1:1 in school.

 

My son too would not give enough information to understand what he was telling you. We worked on a narrative structure for a long time and he is improved no end. He also used to give totally unrelated answers to questions. He uses a mixture of spontaneous and echolalic speech.

 

As she also has some movement and co-ordination issues, it might be useful to look at the cognitive symptoms of dyspraxia.

 

Also look at Executive Functions too.

 

The fact that she is not making progress would suggest there are some basic underlying skills that are either missing or poor therefore she has progressed to the ceiling of her current abilities. She may continue to improve, or she may need work on specific areas to help her make further progress.

 

You've not got much time with only one term before the summer break. Diagnosis usually takes a while. But start looking at the different schools and see what is out there. You may be able to get your daughter a place at a mainstream place that has a speech/communication unit attached to it.

 

As well as looking at Aspergers also look at Non Verbal Learning Disorder. They are similar, but also different.

 

 

 

Thank you so much Sally :-)

I've sent you a private message but wanted to thank you on here too :-)

Claire

[justine1]

Welcome to the forum <'> Wish you both all the best for the assesment keep us posted.

 

P.S Just wanted to add my NT son is 9 years old and cannot do handstands or cartwheels,though he thinks he can

[shaz71]

Welcome to the forum <'> Wish you both all the best for the assesment keep us posted.

 

P.S Just wanted to add my NT son is 9 years old and cannot do handstands or cartwheels,though he thinks he can

 

 

Hi i normally do a lot of reading, but your daughter sounds just like my daughter, she is 7 will be 8 in the beginning of August and in yr3 at the moment she is also very immature compared to all her peers, but she can do handstands, climb trees, walk on walls, in fact she just doesn't see danger she is like a tom boy, she is hyperactive can't sit still for toffee even asleep she moves about a lot and has been known to walk and run around the house in her sleep. She still wets the bed in fact her younger sister as more dry nights than her she as just turned 3. She is 2yrs behind in education at yr1 level but is meeting all her targets on her iep which is 5 of them not sure what they are as no one as ever shown or told me what they are and always rushed when parents evening. She is impulsive as hitting back or saying nasty things, she finds it hard to follow instructions but saying that so do i and the rest of my children, we are all loud in busy places and we all have extremely poor short term memories, i have even looked for things that are in my hands lol. But she does have reflux which i am waiting to see her peadiatrician as to what to do, as i do know that this can make behaviour worsen as my younger daughter is on medication and when hers plays up even with medication her behaviour deterirates big time, so i know this can affect everything sleep the lot. So i have a feeling once this is sorted hopefully will sort her sleep pattern out and hopefully concentration better. I am very artistic and so are all my children, is she artistic, apparantly in art college they automatically test for dyslexia as art is one of the big positive side to dyslexics. Is your daughter artistic? i also have to put everything back into its place so i know where things are as i get so frustrated if i can't find anything so i am organised but my children aren't in fact i get really stressed out as they leave things all over and i can't cope with that, they all have to be in there places or i get stressed out lol. My children were also behind more with fine motor skills but also some with other motor skills like when babies none of us crawled we were very quick walkers and this can be a sign of a learning disability as apparantly this is how to trigger the fine motor skills so hence why we were poor in them. My youngest dd was sitting up at just after 4mths so extremely early but she was very bright and realised this helped her reflux being upright. Even as a baby she hate more as it helped with reflux, she hate small and regular. Did she crawl even bum shuffling is a sign? Sharon x