New here, but not sure if we belong!

[Loopdidoo]

Hi

I am getting more and more concerned about my son's behaviour, that it may not just be 'normal' 4 year old behavior, so I have joined here to get some advise.....

 

This is the list of behavior I am worried about in my son that I plan to discuss with my HV - what do people think -I'm worrying about autism/aspergers - sorry it's a bit long

 

Best part of playtime and interest revolves around trains. He has learnt all about how they work, is keen to know everything about them. Has memorised all of the thomas characters.

 

Doesn't like change in routine, things have to be done the same way, even using a different bowl/plate to eat from will upset him. Or not being able to sit at his table in the same place.

 

Gets totally mesmerised by television to the point where it is difficult to get his attention.

 

throws tantrum when anything negative has happened, i.e. toy not doing what it should, being told 'no'. He will get up screaming and crying and throw himself on the floor or sofa just because a train has come off it's track whilst playing!

 

Talks endlessly, even when told to quieten down. Rambles on about one subject and keeps repeating the same thing over and over.

 

Has endless energy, wants to be on the go all the time. Other children get tired of his energy when trying to play with him.

 

He acts clown like moving about making silly noises and gestures in a situation which is not appropriate for that behavior. Other children sometimes look at him strangely and walk away when he does this and all he wants to do is play with them.

 

Quite clumsy, bangs his head often and trips over things.

 

Great at learning names and things he is interested in (trains), but if he gets the idea you are trying to help him learn letters, numbers or colours he gets up and runs off saying he doesn't want to do it! dislikes sitting still to draw/colour - may have attention span of 5 mins for this type of thing.

 

Cannot sit or stand still, has to be moving, rocking the chair or moving his legs around whilst sitting.

 

Likes to know in advance what is going to happen the next day or needs warning if we are going to do something. If you suddenly say get your coat on we're going out he will react with crying and throwing himself about.

 

Has no self confidence, always saying 'I can't do it' even though it's something he has done lots of times. i.e. getting dressed.

 

sometimes becomes oversensitive to jokes and takes things literally.

 

enjoys affection only on his terms, will not give cuddles unless he thinks it's a good idea.

 

Reacts strangely at situations like birthdays/Christmas. usually ends up crying with presents his or others.

 

If he has a set way something is going to happen in his mind, like he has planned out what he is going to say or do - and then something happens to make it change or not go to his plan he will throw a tantrum and become upset.

 

Dislikes loud noises and screams uncontrollably when in a public toilet where hand dryers are being used. dislikes my hairdryer and hides in his room when we use the vacuum cleaner

 

Cannot sleep in the dark, which has gotten worse with age, he now has a light on all night and has to have certain things near/around him to sleep.

 

If he sees a drawer or cupboard door open he will get up and close it, although he does not keep his toys tidy and doesn't mind if they are not in the same place all the time.

 

At preschool he plans out what he is going to play with and what game, and if others come along and pick something up which was part of this he will go hysterical and scream that's not how it's supposed to go!

 

sorry for the long list

[justine1]

Hi

Welcome to the forum.I have four boys.My second son Sam(6) has Aspergers and my third son Dan is four and being assesed.

 

The first thing you need to do is ask the pre-school how they think he is doing,and if they have any concerns.If they do I would get them to write down what their concerns are.Then you should also write down what he is like on a day to day basis.Take your list and the list from the school and go see the GP explain that you feel something is not right and see if you can get a referral.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Welcome to the forum. Obviously, I'm not qualified to say whether I think your child is on the spectrum, but certainly what you're saying can be consistent with an ASD. My son is now 8, but I'd say in hindsight, there were some signs from 15 months +, however, by the time he was 3 I knew something wasn't right. I did a lot of research and everything seemed to point to Aspergers. However, all of that time, I had repeatedly flagged things up with my HV and GP. Both advised me to stop working full-time and go part-time. That was a loud and clear message that they felt I wasn't coping and was perhaps a neurotic first time mother. I was livid and it was a real emotional setback for me. However, as the mins/hrs/days/weeks went by, I knew that it wasn't a figment of my imagination and that actually I wasn't a bad mum. I therefore kept a diary of all the incidents or oddities (so much was happening that the only way I could remember anything was to write it down) and wrote a letter of complaint to my HV and GP stating how I felt and insisted that I was going to pursue a professional specialist opinion with or without their help. Suddenly, they both did a u-turn. It was only then that my son was referred to a specialist. It took a further 1.5 years to get a diagnosis and we saw lots of specialists (passed from pillar to post) before finally seeing one that seemed to know exactly where R was coming from. Certainly, if your heart and your head tell you that something isn't quite right, my advice would be to pursue a referral and keep a diary (photocopy relevant parts and post it to them well in advance of the appt to allow them time to read it).

 

NB: If it does transpire that your son is on the spectrum, although life is full of peaks and troughs, things will get easier. As the child matures and both your understanding (in terms of management) and theirs makes a world of different. Also, although it can be a task ensuring the child gets support, that too makes a difference.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[Loopdidoo]

Thanks for the replies - Pre-school haven't mentioned anything to me as yet and he has been going to one of them since he was 2! I am seeing my HV at the clinic with my daughter next week, I may just mention my concerns and see what she says.

[justine1]

Thanks for the replies - Pre-school haven't mentioned anything to me as yet and he has been going to one of them since he was 2! I am seeing my HV at the clinic with my daughter next week, I may just mention my concerns and see what she says.

I did this with my third son and she didnt help me.I would say rather go to the GP because they are the only people who can actually refer you on.Also I would say definatley get something from the pre school,ask if you can have a meeting.I would say if he has been at pre school all this time they must have something to say about him.

[baranigirl]

hiya

 

DD3 shows similar traits to some of yours above and nursery until recently said there was no problem even though she doesn't speak there (cannot shut her up at home)

 

I have booked a GP appointment to discuss my concerns for next month

 

good luck xx

[Jennasmum]

Hey there, i've only just joined this forum too!

 

My DD (4) was diagnoised as High Functioning Autisum and tbh shows a lot of the triats that you have mentioned. Luckly i had a brilliant HV who refered me to a paedtrician. She took all my concerns seriously and went to see Jenna at pre-school for a assessment. The paedtrician noticed the majority of Jennas 'quirks' (sorry for not using a better word - dont mean to offend anyone), which the school didnt notice, they just thought she was a quiet child and that me and my DH gave in to her, until the paedtrician pointed out what they had missed. Bah

 

That was 2 weeks ago and the paedtrician came to my house on Monday and confirmed the diagnosis, and is currently writing to everyone involved in her care to tell them and start the ball rolling with the extra support we need.

 

Anyhow (sorry have rambled) i think you need to talk to someone about your DS and get a referal.

 

xxx

[Max's Mum]

Hi, I have a 4 year old son who has Autism. He was diagnosed at 3y 3m, so just over a year ago.

 

Again, as others have said, I am not qualified to make a diagnosis but a lot of what you said I can really identify with and my son is very similar.

 

Definitely speak to your HV, ours referred us to a community paed, who then started the ball rolling with referrals to SALT, Ed Psych, Clinical Psych and a consultant paed.

 

Good luck with it all.

 

x

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

There is a lot there that does not sound typical. You're definitely right to seek advice. ASD certainly sounds like a possibility from what you have said.

 

Even if he does not have ASD, then you may find some strategies designed for children with ASD helpful, so there are steps you could take to try to suport your son even before you get a clear diagnosis of what his problems are.

[Loopdidoo]

Thanks for all the responses, I have found lots of what you are all saying very helpful!

 

I find my HV more useful than GP tbh, so will see what she says first, and go from there.

[trekster]

Thanks for the replies - Pre-school haven't mentioned anything to me as yet and he has been going to one of them since he was 2! I am seeing my HV at the clinic with my daughter next week, I may just mention my concerns and see what she says.

 

i can also see your sons behaviour as signs of ASD. Does he take sayings literally? Agree with cmiur and welcome

[JsMum]

 

 

From what you say in your post I would defo request an assessment of Autistic Spectrum Disorder as well as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and possibly Sensory Processing Disorder.

 

National Autistic Society have a helpline that you can contact about your concerns and send you relivent information packs on possible diagnosis, how to go down the route of diagnosis and how to get a referral.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advi...m-Helpline.aspx

 

Also if there is one in your local area or further afield, visit a parent support group for parents with children with ASD.

 

I defo write down your concerns and copy as much as possible where you have described some of his behaviours and ask that it be added to his Medical notes, nursery senco file, and that you start making plans for assessments if that is something you want to pursue.

 

Good luck with the journey, its a very stressful one, but hopefully now you have found a reason for your sons reactions and can begin to understand and support him and ensure he has his needs met in nursery and at home now you are researching more into the complex world of Autism Spectrum.

 

JsMumx

 

 

 

 

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Keep us posted and let us know how you get on.

 

Caroline.

Edited July 5, 2010 by cmuir

[Sally44]

I think you should print off your initial post and give it to the Health Visitor. I think it flags alot of concerns, and as others have said I can see my son did all of the things you listed and he was diagnosed at age 6 with an autistic spectrum disorder.

The 'clowning about' may just be that he is 'trying' to use words/phrases and gestures he has seen others use before (or which he has seen on TV), but he does not really understand 'what they mean', and that is why they appear inappropriate.

When you see the Health Visitor I would ask her how to get the ball rolling for assessments/observations. Although he is only 4 it took us 18 months to get a diagnosis. And during that time we had to take him everyday into school and he hated it and threw tantrums. It would have been so much easier if everything had been organised and he had been enrolled at a school that actually understood what his difficulties were. But I was fobbed off by my HV and GP initially and told to wait until he started school and that they would pick up any problems there. That was the worst advice they could have given. It meant that both school and home had to cope with a very unhappy boy for a considerable amount of time.

As he will be starting school probably before a diagnosis (if one is thought to be necessary), I would suggest you contact your Local Authority SEN department and ask them what primary schools cater for children on the autistic spectrum who do not have a statement. You may find that your authority has 'enhanced resource' schools. These are still mainstream schools, but they have more funding and experienced staff for children on the spectrum. All the school is highly structured and that school is much more able to meet his needs and support you if it is felt that an assessment towards a Statement of SEN is needed.

It really depends on how well you think he will cope in a mainstream only primary school. Like you my son simply refused to even pick up a pen or colouring pens etc. And although he was talking his speech consisted of alot of phrases from TV (echolalia), and he often appeared not to understand what I was saying and when he tried to tell me something I often could not understand what the subject was or what he was trying to tell me.