College Interview Process

[wafta]

Hi everyone, help needed yet again!!

 

As some of you may already know, my son wants to study Physics A Level and then go to Uni to study Astrophysics. He definately has the academic ability and the drive but his lack of social skills concerns me in respect of the interview process.

 

Anyone with experience in this? I'm feeling like we're about to approach our highest hurdle yet and I have no clue how to get over it.

 

Just to outline, my son has very basic responses to questions, consisting of "whatever", "yeah, if you say so", "why not?" and "It's alright" for example!

 

I'm pretty sure this level of communication won't get him the education he needs and the qualifications he's capable of and I know how important this is to him.

 

Thanks to anyone who can advise, all help is much appreciated xx

[justine1]

Hi

Sorry I dont have experience but thought maybe you can do a mock interview with him? He can dress in what he will ear for the actual thing and then you can ask him what the Uni probably will.I went for my uni interview last November,they generally ask things like:

-why have you chosen this course?

-where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

These I believe are the two most important questions.You can then work on the answers with him.They may ask him what part of the course intrests him the most so try and encourage him to talk about his interest.

 

Prehaps he can talk some natural remedy for stress/relaxation,on the day.

[oxgirl]

Hi,

 

My lad sounds very much like yours in some ways, he is gifted in sciences and due to get As or A*s in all three in the next few weeks. We looked into him going to mainstream college to study Forensic Science and applied and went for interview, etc. He was totally unresponsive, didn't look towards the interviewers at all and only grunted in response to their questions. He was interviewed by the head of the course and also the special needs person, as I had already spoken to them about his AS and they knew what to expect. I did come out feeling that he had not put himself over at all well but they still offered him a place on the course on the basis of his academic ability. They were starting to discuss with us what additional support they'd be able to put in place, but in the end we felt he wasn't ready for a mainstream placement and so didn't go ahead with the placement.

 

So basically, I'd say don't worry too much. I'd definitely advise you to get in touch with the college beforehand so that they know all about your lad's difficulties. Will you go into the interview with him?, it's perfectly okay to do so, and you could prompt him or answer for him if necessary. As long as they know what they're dealing with, college should be able to accomodate him based on his interest and ability in Physics.

 

Good luck with it.

 

~ Mel ~

[wafta]

Thanks for your responses. The mock interview sounds like a good idea, though I'm not sure he'd even respond to that well, as he's almost as non vocal with me as complete strangers. Might give it a try though, just to see how he reacts to the idea.

 

I wasn't sure oxgirl if I would be allowed to go with him to interviews, so this is a very useful piece of advice. I'll definately be calling the college beforehand to make sure they know what they're dealing with and, obviously, if I can, the best solution would probably be for me to go with him.

 

Its unfortunate because I'd really like for him to become a bit more independent, but not at the risk of sacrificing his future and his dreams, which is why this is such a tricky situation.

 

Last year we attended a careers evening at his school, where there were stands from local colleges and universities. I came away from it feeling completely washed out because I was doing all the talking and I was sure the representatives thought I was a pushy parent. He was very quiet and, without sounding disrespectful to anyone (including my son), he came across as having a very low intelligence level. I just felt like they were brushing me off and thinking he'd never make anything of himself and that these aspirations were mine and not what he was capable of.

 

Thankfully, his exam results will show his academic ability, but without a Statement, we get little or no help. My son is very passive and, as such is completely invisible!

 

Of course, the other problem is that he likes to think he's just like everyone else and gets quite stressed by the AS label, so I don't feel comfortable raising it when he's around. Not sure if this is something that can be overcome, but if anyone has advice on this too, I'd much appreciate it.

 

Thanks again x

[oxgirl]

Thanks for your responses. The mock interview sounds like a good idea, though I'm not sure he'd even respond to that well, as he's almost as non vocal with me as complete strangers. Might give it a try though, just to see how he reacts to the idea.

 

I wasn't sure oxgirl if I would be allowed to go with him to interviews, so this is a very useful piece of advice. I'll definately be calling the college beforehand to make sure they know what they're dealing with and, obviously, if I can, the best solution would probably be for me to go with him.

 

Its unfortunate because I'd really like for him to become a bit more independent, but not at the risk of sacrificing his future and his dreams, which is why this is such a tricky situation.

 

Last year we attended a careers evening at his school, where there were stands from local colleges and universities. I came away from it feeling completely washed out because I was doing all the talking and I was sure the representatives thought I was a pushy parent. He was very quiet and, without sounding disrespectful to anyone (including my son), he came across as having a very low intelligence level. I just felt like they were brushing me off and thinking he'd never make anything of himself and that these aspirations were mine and not what he was capable of.

 

Thankfully, his exam results will show his academic ability, but without a Statement, we get little or no help. My son is very passive and, as such is completely invisible!

 

Of course, the other problem is that he likes to think he's just like everyone else and gets quite stressed by the AS label, so I don't feel comfortable raising it when he's around. Not sure if this is something that can be overcome, but if anyone has advice on this too, I'd much appreciate it.

 

Thanks again x

 

I know what you mean about finding it very difficult to talk about your lad's difficulties in front of him. My lad is the same, he is highly intelligent but is so unresponsive when with people he doesn't know that he comes across as very low ability. He is going to attend a college for ASD young people next year and is very, very unhappy about it. He is having transition visits at the moment but will not speak to the staff or anyone when he is there. He then comes home and tells me that the people there are 'patronizing' him by the way they speak to him, it's because of the way he's coming over, it appears to them that he is practically non-verbal and of low intelligence when the exact opposite is the case. At my lad's college interviews (he had several for several different courses in the end) he showed no interest at all in what the course leaders were saying, stared dumbly down at the table and it was as if he wasn't even switched on or 'there' at all. The trouble is, he doesn't 'see' how he is coming across and when he's with people he's comfortable with he is so witty and funny and obviously intelligent, it's quite frustrating really.

 

Will your lad get any support at college or will he cope okay on his own? I know, in the end, it was my lad's lack of independence and anxiety that made it clear that he wouldn't cope with the general day-to-day of college, even though he'd cope with the workload with no trouble at all.

 

Good luck with the interview. I'd def. sit down with your lad and give him some pointers, I wish I had, even though he was offered places on all the courses he applied for in the end.

 

~ Mel ~

[wafta]

Our boys sound almost identical, Mel !

 

I have the same frustrations, where when in the house and in the right mood, he can now be very chatty, funny and even sarcastic sometimes, a great leap over the past couple of years.

 

I've made a concious effort to make him feel like he's no different to others and purposefully not got him involved in AS groups and so on. His NT "friend" has been a great help and when I see them together, I sometimes can't believe that's my son! He even allows him physical contact, which is more than I've ever had, so its a joy to watch him. Unfortunately, it stops there and at school parent evenings, doctor's appointments and such, he completely turns into a different person and loses his spark completely.

 

As studying is his great passion, I don't see a problem with college/university other than the social side. However, he goes there to study, so its never bothered him at school and I'm assuming this will continue at college. University is another issue completely as he'll have to move away and live independently, but that's a future bridge to cross and I have my feelers out already for the most AS accomodating universities in the country!

 

All this is why the interview process difficulties are driving me mad at the moment. I know he'll be at his happiest doing what he loves, which is why I don't wand him to fall at the first hurdle because he's not responsive socially.

 

I was warned a few years ago that this would be a difficult time, but its amazing how these things manage to creep up on you!

[emmasmum]

He is entitled to reasonable adjustments for his disability regarding the interview, so it would be appropriate to let them know beforehand and, if he'd feel more comfortable, to have you present.

 

HTH

Carol

[Mumble]

Hi, I don't know about college entry interviews, but I do know about uni, having struggled with getting reasonable adjustments for myself.

 

It is reasonable adjustments that you want to be accessing here, so that he has the same opportunities to show what he is capable of. Talking from a university level, I would be contacting the disability office for advice. They may be able to 'interview' him in an alternative format, perhaps for instance by written emailed questions, an essay, other written responses, etc.

 

Or perhaps he could go through the normal interview process with an independent observer and then be given the chance to elaborate on his responses in writing after the actual interview?

 

[purplehaze]

Hi My son had a college interview-infact he had to have 3 & he had support from his teacher who went with him and the teacher answered most of the questions! I have also recently had a meeting and asked my sons connextions lady about what would happen if/when my son wants to get a job or has to have an interview independently & she said they offer support for things like that to prepare teenagers up to 25 yrs old! So this might be an option for your son! X