Advice about whether to take son out of school

[connieruff]

Hi,

My son is 8 and he attends the local primary. academically he is a year behind his peers and he hates school. In class 2 he was bullied badly, the chidren laughed at him and generally took the mickey even when he was trying to work, they would do it behind thier hands so the teacher would not see and hear.

But the teachers would have been uncaring anyway, as when I eventually found out they denied all knowledge, and they lied about what was going on, (long story).

 

The bullying still goes on, we had a meltdown tonight, and he admitted that he hates school, he wants to die (he says this all the time) and says often the teacher will ask the class to pair up and get partners and he is left alone - no-one wants him, there are 27 in the class - and this really upsets him. he is never invited to any parties and he never is asked out by other children. he spends all holidays with no other childrens company.

He says that when he tries to talk to the children they ignore him, even when he tugs at their jumper to get their attention. I think this is because one or two of the ringleaders have told the other children to ignore him.

The whole school is dysfunctional, with a lot of bitching and bullying amongst the teachers as well. In fact there are 2 teachers off sick long term with stress through bullying by other teachers, and it is a small village school.

We have multi disciplinary meetings but they are just a waste of time. I keep saying I'll give it another 6 months - I'll give it another 6 months - but now I feel I am being a cruel mother to keep sending him there.

I feel that now enough is enough, he will crack up if I keep sending him at that school. He tries to throw himself down the stairs.

But I work and am a single parent, and this school is on my doorstep. Its going to be difficult to drive him to another school and pick him up.

If I suddenly stop sending him to school while I look around for another, what are the authorities likely to do?

 

What help is available. I've tried CAHMS but they are just overworked and to be honest useless.

Thanks.

[Kathryn]

If I suddenly stop sending him to school while I look around for another, what are the authorities likely to do?

 

You could be prosecuted for non - attendance, unless you take him off the school roll and elect to home educate him.

 

Looking back at your previous posts, I think you applied for a statutory assessment last year and were unsuccessful. Whatever you decide to do about school, now might be a good time to try again, and pursue it all the way to appeal if necessary.

 

<'> <'> to you in this difficult situation,

 

K x

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I'd start with CAMHS. Yes, they maybe overworked, but in my experience if you persevere they will sit up and take notice generally. IF they carry outa n emotional assessment of your son and identify issues relating to school, that gives you more amunition. The LEA shouldn't ignore them. That's what happened with my son. CAMHS said he was suffering from extreme anxiety and it did give me more amunition.

 

Regards

 

Caroline.

[Bluesbreaker]

Like Kathryn aid, just be wary of the attendence situation particularly if the Education welfare get involved (trust me they are a pain in the rear end sometimes....)

 

keep persisting and try and get hold of a statutory assessment and follow Kathryn's and Caroline's suggestions. if you can get an emotional assessment then thats even better, same with other medical bits and bobs which are related, as the critical point is to have as much evidence as possible. Depending on the area you live in its harder to convince Some LEA's than others.

 

i have been through the system with my mum and dad who have fought with the authoroties to get the right help. Since the age of 12 i have myself been active in getting support. (also have two Autistic cousins who, the youngest had had to go through a similar situation to the one you describe)

 

Stick with it and be persistant, you have to keep standing up and shouting as such to get what you need.

 

Best wishes and hope you are successful,

 

Bruce.

[justine1]

Hi

Kathryn and Caroline have made some good points.Unfortunatley you cannot just remove him from school.What you could do is on Monday go in and speak to the school,explain word for word how your son feels and what are they going to do about it,I know you say they not much help but you can make note that you have been to speak to them at least you will be seen to be doing something.Then if you can see your GP explain that your son is very low and needs help that things are not going well at school,again they may not be able to do much but at least you have aired your concerns and it will be on record.

 

Give it a few weeks,hopefully you would have seen CAMHS,keep going to the headteacher every week asking what they doing to help.Also try request a stat assesment again,if you can.If he has not been seen by a ed psych see if he can be seen,ask the HT or contact Parent Partnership through the council.

If you still not getting anywhere you can opt to home ed but you need to inform the LEA or maybe flexi schooling,this is what I do with my son.

[jollypig]

you can remove him from school send a letter to the head requesting for him to be deregestered [sp] outline the reasons why and you will be home schooling untill you find a suitable alternative.