Birthday Presents

[davers79]

Just wondering does anyone else struggle with their kids birthdays / xmas?

 

My DD isn't "into" anything. Getting her to write a birthday list is almost impossible! All the relatives ask for a list every time and usually I have to go and add some stuff myself because she rarely comes up with more than a couple of things.

 

Shes 11 in a few weeks, shes asked for a mobile phone and that was all she could think of. We've looked at the HMV, Game, Amazon etc websites together and I've hinted at possibilities and made suggestions but she just isn't fussed.

 

I ask her what the other girls at school are into, what books they are reading, what films they've watched and she hasn't got a clue.

 

Hey ho! Will get thinking what everyone can get her - its hard when she isn't that bothered about playing with anything though and doesn't like anything like lipgloss or anything girly either.

 

 

 

[Gordie]

Just give her money - that's what I've usually asked for on birthdays and at Christmas time. That way, I can't be disappointed and I have the freedom to spend it on whatever I like, even if it's really mundane things (now that I'm 29)! I'm not fussed if it seems unimaginative (probably coz I have no imagination myself! ), and I'd rather have money than something I don't want.

 

It works the other way too, by the way - when I have to think of presents to buy for ANYONE! Having no imagination / appreciation for others' desires and interests makes such a task very difficult! Indeed I'd rather not give anything to most people on the understanding that they wouldn't have to give me anything themselves! Bah humbug!

 

James

[baddad]

Lots of mobile phone accessories! And top up cards/credit.

Basically, find any sterf to do with what she does want and bung it at her - Books: 'The idiots guide 2 texting' Software - a ringtone making app. If it's one of those phomes lots of apps! etc etc

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

[caci]

Our son will be 12 next birthday, and is the same - he doesn't actually WANT anything.

 

If there is something advertised on TV that he passes a comment about (like an Xbox game) I make a note and then ask him a few days later if it is something he would like for his next birthday (even if it is still weeks away). Occcasionally we have managed to get a couple of ideas that I can offer to my brother and sister so they can actually give him something he wants.

 

Even when he was much younger we didn't really get "I want"from him. We could walk around somewhere like Toys R Us and if he didn't see anything he wanted we could happily leave empty handed, whereas friend's children would make a hugh fuss if they didn't get something.

 

I am so glad Santa doesn't come here anymore as he was forever bringing things that our son would look at it and then say "Why have I got this, I didn't ask for it ?"

 

[justine1]

All my kids like simple presents.Sam(AS)likes just one present or something like lego where he can keep adding to it.So like BD mentions lots of mobile accesories to go with the mobile.It can be to overwhelming to have to many gifts.With Sam I also take him to the shops like a month or so after his birthday and then he choses something he wants to buy(usually with money from grandpa.)

 

My oldest son is soooooooo easy to buy for anything Dr who,any stationary(paints and canvas) and books.My brother brought him loads of stationary at a WH Smith sale last year and he kept saying "it seems so boring for a 9yr old" but he was thrilled with the gifts.He has always liked much of the same thing since age 2,and Dr who since he was 5(and he is nearly 10 now.)

 

So mobile and accesories are great and maybe keep money aside if she sees a lipgloss or some clothes she likes when you are out then you got that money at hand.

[MelowMeldrew]

We gave up XMas and birthday present giving many years ago, he simply will not disaply a preference for anything, so we put money aside for savings etc, occasionally buy him a spiderman game because he likes that otherwise nothing at all, because spiderman is now not a game they pursue any more.. Is sounds mean, it isn't, We bought him a lap top, Xbox, wii, nintendo etc none he will use ! nearly a £1,000 down the drain really. So no we buy him next to nothing really except a change of clothes.... We have no idea if he will ever use his bank balance, and he has no interest in mobile phones or anything.

[oxgirl]

When my lad was young he was incredibly easy to buy for. He'd be over the moon with any kind of car or transformer or Lego-type thing. Now he's grown out of all that and there is absolutely nothing he wants. He has money in his bank account and never spends it because he just doesn't desire anything and has no interest in anything. When birthday and Christmas come around it's impossible for him to come up with ideas. However, come Xmas or birthday morning he is always disappointed and sad that he didn't get lots of things to open, even though he has absolutely no idea of what he might want. How we're expected to come up with ideas I don't know!

 

~ Mel ~

[baranigirl]

my 11 yr old adores lego! she got a netbook for her 11th birthday so she can use it for secondary school and she contributed about 70% of the value as well cos we told rellys thats what she was getting and could they help her pay towards it, so they gave her money.

 

She will get a new phone for xmas as the one she has is really rubbish, but was a great starter phone, she has had it 15 months and still not used the initial £10 credit put on it, that will change in september

 

All she ever asks for is total tut, which I refuse to buy so she gets a few Dr who bits, lego and then the phone last year and netbook this year, will be stuffed for her 12th lol

[MelowMeldrew]

When my lad was young he was incredibly easy to buy for. He'd be over the moon with any kind of car or transformer or Lego-type thing. Now he's grown out of all that and there is absolutely nothing he wants. He has money in his bank account and never spends it because he just doesn't desire anything and has no interest in anything. When birthday and Christmas come around it's impossible for him to come up with ideas. However, come Xmas or birthday morning he is always disappointed and sad that he didn't get lots of things to open, even though he has absolutely no idea of what he might want. How we're expected to come up with ideas I don't know!

 

~ Mel ~

 

 

Mine to a T lol......... In his cupboard he has unopened Xmas presents dating back 6 years ! we cannot open them for him he won't, go figure..... he plays spiderman endlessly but only one level for the last 5 years, he asks for the comics, then hoards them without ever reading or opening them, when I did open one and started to help him read it, he tore it up and threw it away as 'tainted' because I had handled it, he collects... that's it. He will not eat off any plate but his own, and if someone pinched something off the plate for a laugh, he would not eat the rest of the day....He will enter a cafe, you ask what do you want to eat ? he says nothing... we don't ever take holidays away from home because he would starve ! he won't eat if other people are in the same room as him but his parents... holidays are a no-no of course except a caravan or something, but again if we went for a meal he wouldn't enter the restaurant or eat if we did....his birthday ... Nothing.... for Xmas... nothing.. what would you like to do today ? nothing.......! it's not to do with easy to please, he has no desire for anything much at all... He likes to go bowling, I said would you like to some bowling gear ? NO !!! Nothing you can do... nothing ANYONE can do so far...

Edited June 1, 2010 by MelowMeldrew

[Stella63]

Hi

 

Presumably she will be starting secondary school in september so you could add in new stationary such as colouring pencils, pencil case, that sort of thing. I remember buying both the boys a set from Smiths (not expensive but in a box) and they were used for homework and kept at home - both sets are still in great condition.

 

Also does she have long hair? different hair tie things and bands (not sure what girls wear but just notice at school they all seem to have something in their hair!!) doesn't have to be particularly girly either.

 

Hope that helps!!

 

Stella xx

[zenemu]

Money is the way to go, but not vouchers, no kid appreciates vouchers. An uncle of mine used to get me boots vouchers at that age. I ask you, what could an eleven year old boy possibly do with a £10 boots voucher?

 

Zen

[MelowMeldrew]

Money is the way to go, but not vouchers, no kid appreciates vouchers. An uncle of mine used to get me boots vouchers at that age. I ask you, what could an eleven year old boy possibly do with a £10 boots voucher?

 

Zen

 

My son won't CARRY money. He's like the queen lol in all his life he has never gone to a shop on his own with money and bought something.

[zenemu]

My son won't CARRY money. He's like the queen lol in all his life he has never gone to a shop on his own with money and bought something.

 

Does he have any specific interests in anything or hobbies that he is fond of?

 

For example, when I was around that age, I used to work on a farm every weekend and early most mornings because I was interested in astronomy and paying telescopes is a very expensive business.

 

Zen

[MelowMeldrew]

Does he have any specific interests in anything or hobbies that he is fond of?

 

For example, when I was around that age, I used to work on a farm every weekend and early most mornings because I was interested in astronomy and paying telescopes is a very expensive business.

 

Zen

 

NO hobbies, NO Interests, NO Friends, and very little communication. He doesn't lift a pen outside school nor read anything either... we are still looking for that breakthrough of a 'hobby' once we see that we can then move, until that time, it is exposing him with support to anything and everything in the hope something clicks... We are having a talk with the NAS re OUTREACH to see if that can help. I have no idea at this stage what the OUTREACH actually means... if it is all adult support then I fear it won't work, he has yet to play with any child.

[julie1]

my son was 12 when he found his interest, and he will be 15 in August and it still hasent changed, he loves swimming. He likes books, DVDs, watching old swimming galas on the internet. He swims about 5 times a week and we are pleased that he now has an interest as it was so hard before deciceding on gifts knowing that my son would say thank you but only because it was the right thing to say. He will be getting new swim shorts this year, and a copy of swimming times. He doent really understand the vaule of money and wouldnt care how much or how little was spent as long as it is for swimming he is a happy chap.

[MelowMeldrew]

my son was 12 when he found his interest, and he will be 15 in August and it still hasent changed, he loves swimming. He likes books, DVDs, watching old swimming galas on the internet. He swims about 5 times a week and we are pleased that he now has an interest as it was so hard before deciceding on gifts knowing that my son would say thank you but only because it was the right thing to say. He will be getting new swim shorts this year, and a copy of swimming times. He doent really understand the vaule of money and wouldnt care how much or how little was spent as long as it is for swimming he is a happy chap.

 

I'd settle for anything... it is the the thought he has no interests at all,and no desire to do anything but flap around, and bite his hands all day when he isn't incessantly turning all our water taps on at all hours. The thought he has no capability to amuse himself even for an hour, and needs to be directed to do anything, when you stop directing him he stops.