Headteacher does'nt want him there

[justine1]

Hi

I know this sounds like I am against the head but I am not,she is really great and has gone really far to push Sams statementing process.The problem I have is...I need Sam to be in full time education because of my Uni.I got a childminder to look after him before and after school and she can fetch him if excluded again.

However whenever I mention to the head about him going full time she is like "lets not think about that now" and "he will go to special school by then" but I am not hopeful.I am very positive but to get the statement before summer holidays would mean it would come a whole 9-10 weeks early,I am certain this is unlikely.Also I dont even know any of the schools in the county so I will need to check them out before I agree,unless they give me the school I have chosen out of county.

 

It is annoying cause I need a planB and dont feel the head wants him there.I have asked for him to go full time since after easter but they keep rejecting this,is this fair? I thought we are meant to agree with flexi schooling and now I dont!!! They did an IEP for him in March and asked me to sign in May I refused because it had that he will go full time after easter and I said thats not happening and the date was two mths before thats not right.Since then they havent given it to me to sign again.I am not being difficult I am just stressed.I do feel they have taken full advantage of the fact I am around to fetch him cause I fecth Dan at that time.But Dan has many problems to and I need to give him some 1:1 time esp cause of his eating.

 

What more am I supposed to do????

[Kathryn]

Well you could always send a message to the school by refusing to collect him - but that might be upsetting and confusing for your son.

 

I made my views clear in a previous thread of yours back in January which, if I remember, sparked off a vigorous debate about insisting on the correct legal procedures being followed vs working with the school.

 

My views are still the same. I thought the school were likely to take advantage of your availability back then, and it's even more apparent now when you have tried for several weeks to compromise and work with them. As long as it continues to be the easy option, it is likely they will keep him part time. It's not fair to keep giving you vague answers and no timescale for an end to the current arrangement.

 

I suggest you write to the head, cc to the LA and say you are not happy with the current situation. Ask for a date when your son can be returned to school full time or reasons why the school cannot accommodate him for the full school day.

 

K x

[justine1]

Well you could always send a message to the school by refusing to collect him - but that might be upsetting and confusing for your son.

 

I made my views clear in a previous thread of yours back in January which, if I remember, sparked off a vigorous debate about insisting on the correct legal procedures being followed vs working with the school.

 

My views are still the same. I thought the school were likely to take advantage of your availability back then, and it's even more apparent now when you have tried for several weeks to compromise and work with them. As long as it continues to be the easy option, it is likely they will keep him part time. It's not fair to keep giving you vague answers and no timescale for an end to the current arrangement.

 

I suggest you write to the head, cc to the LA and say you are not happy with the current situation. Ask for a date when your son can be returned to school full time or reasons why the school cannot accommodate him for the full school day.

 

K x

Thanks Kathryn <'> I did feel that part time served him well but hoped it would be temporary,I mentioned a few weeks ago that he has improved so much with the additional support in the past five weeks and this has made him want to stay all day to.He doesnt like coming home at lunch time anymore, he feels he is being punnished,I have told the school this and they keep saying "if he comes all day it will unravel all the hard work" how do they know until they try?

 

I am happy for it to be like this if I knew for certain he was going to special school in September but I dont know that for sure,so want him to get used to full time and then it wont be so strange in September,as at this point he will be going back no matter what the head thinks.I believe she assumes I will home ed until special school place/statement come through.

 

I will speak to her one last time,she has been off sick for some time(pops in once or twice a week)so hope she will be here and then write the letter.Thanks again.

[puffin]

I agree that they are taking advantage of the situation and your early availability and it has meant that neither school or LA has dealt with your case urgently.

 

I agree with Kathryns approach of sending a letter - however after this time I would be inclined to give THEM a date for your child to start full time - perhaps in 2 weeks time - otherwise they will fob you off until next school year - I think that it would be good to do this before the end of term as with nothing agreed you will end up in the same situation next year - this happened to me and I was forced to put Uni on hold as when we ent back after the summer nothing was resolved

 

If necessary the school or LA need to hire a temporary LSA to look after him in the PMs

Edited June 14, 2010 by puffin

[baddad]

Hi Justine -

 

From memory re your original post I think the pattern then was that it was helping Sam, and all was pretty cooperative between school & home.

From the sound of it now Sam himself is actually wanting and ready for more, but the school don't want to 'rock the boat' by giving him the opportunity(?). I can understand that apprehension, but really it's a moot point if coming home early has ceased to be a positive for Sam and is becoming a negative.

In one way their assurances make some sense, but only if the eggs containing the chickens they're counting hatch in time - i.e. if the change of schools etc happen as planned. If that doesn't happen, you're facing a situation where Sam goes back to his current school and a new academic year/classroom/dynamic without any (full time) preparation and where circumstances at home regarding timing are critical because of the changes in your own routines.

 

There are around 5 weeks left to the end of term and the big summer hols. It seems sensible and reasonable for Sam to spend those five weeks getting reintegrated and settled back into full-time school routines and ready for next year regardless of any wider considerations like whether he'll be going back where he is or to another setting.

 

So, yes, definitely the right time to be pushing to get him back in the classroom full time. Write a letter to that effect, and if the head is only in one or two days a week address it to the deputy head too (with the best will in the world it is not your or Sam's fault that the head is unwell, and in those situations the dep head is there to attend to business in the head's absence).

 

Not quite the same situation, but when my son was in reception (or maybe it was primary 1) he started just for mornings before going full time, but lunchtimes became problematic and he started coming home for lunch. It helped enormously initially, and he did need the break, but it wasn't long before he started missing the opportunities others had and wanting to be with his class. When that happened (with lots of 'coaching' so he knew exactly what was expected of him and what was on offer too) his investement in making it work helped enormously. It didn't solve all of the problems, of course, because the things that made lunchtimes difficult were still present, but he now saw them as problems to overcome rather than problems to kick against. That does make a huge difference.

 

Good luck with it all

 

L&P

 

BD

[justine1]

Thank you Puffin <'> He has an LSA in the mornings as from the half term break she is being paid for by the school as the LA wouldnt continue funding,so I dont know whether she will do afternoons as well,not sure the budget will stretch that far.I will do the letter today,the HT wasnt there again but think putting it in writing is the best way forward.

 

Thank you Baddad <'> You summed everything up perfectly That is right all I want is for him to finish the yr full time.I went to collect him today and he was crying he didnt want to leave,its been like this for at least two weeks,both the LSA and class teacher agree he is desparate to stay.I believe he will be fine on a long day,he did two long days since Jan(when my dad was ill)and the first one was excellent second he shouted out a bit but nothing drastic.I thought lunch may be hard but he could always eat early with the LSA before she has to leave or something.Anyway,rant over,I will put it all in writing and take it over to the HT tomorrow.

 

Thanks again.

[puffin]

I have been in a similar situation when I agreed to take DD home early on days where she appeared stressed or tired. At the start I think it was helpful - however it developed into a negative as the staff did not really bother to learn about management strategies as they could just picke up the phone and have her collected - so in ended up erroding DDs sense of security at school and of the staffs abilities

 

It also led to completely unreasonable demands from the school such as DH and I were 'required' to be on call within the LAs borders and were 'required' to plan any business trips of visits to other locations accordingly. It got to the stage where they were calling for stupid and minor things that schools should cope with to have her collected 3 or 4 times each week

- M won't eat lunch

- M has dropped a pencil on the flor and won't pick it up

- M is hiding behind the currtains

etc etc etc

 

I think when you are in the position of adapting to what school wants you don't realise how unreasonable the whole thing has become - in our case the staff started to devide physical punishments as well....

 

However as soon as we put our foot down and she started a new school - the new teachers attitude was that he never called for small stuff and it was his job to sort it out. As a result DD felt much more secure and we have not been called by school for 3 years

[puffin]

Thank you Puffin <'> He has an LSA in the mornings as from the half term break she is being paid for by the school as the LA wouldnt continue funding,so I dont know whether she will do afternoons as well,not sure the budget will stretch that far.I will do the letter today,the HT wasnt there again but think putting it in writing is the best way forward.

 

Thank you Baddad <'> You summed everything up perfectly That is right all I want is for him to finish the yr full time.I went to collect him today and he was crying he didnt want to leave,its been like this for at least two weeks,both the LSA and class teacher agree he is desparate to stay.I believe he will be fine on a long day,he did two long days since Jan(when my dad was ill)and the first one was excellent second he shouted out a bit but nothing drastic.I thought lunch may be hard but he could always eat early with the LSA before she has to leave or something.Anyway,rant over,I will put it all in writing and take it over to the HT tomorrow.

 

Thanks again.

 

It is really up to the LA and school to agree funding - it is not really your problem no matter how they want to try and twist your arm.

 

You child has the right to a full time education and it is the LAs job to arrange it

 

He is obviously aware that he is being treated differently and wants to stay in school - the school could be on dubious ground as it is harder to argue that this is for your son's benefit when he is feeling isolated - the school must be on the borders of disability discrimination by not offering him a full time place because of his condition.

[justine1]

I am in shock

I managed to get the HT today and told her about Sam staying all day.I said he isnt happy at the moment and wants to be on a full day.She first said how will he cope full day when he keeps misbehaving,today he was throwing meter sticks around and took three teachers to deal with him when I arrived he was crying my eldest said he even saw him being dragged from one room to the next She also said how will the teachers cope,I said well I ain't coping either with his constant crying!

 

I said how will he cope when he goes full time in September she replied "There is no way he is coming here,I have told the ed psych we wont take him back in September."I was horrified,so what am I meant to do????

 

Anyway,the ed psych called me after wards because Sam had a bad week and she was there this morning so she has been calling LEA all day pushing funding etc.She is very understanding and said she cant believe he has been on flexi schooling all this time and that she doesnt know how I am coping.I told her what the HT said and she confirmed it to be true.She then mentioned ASD units and emailed me some mainstream with units I will go and look but not sure if this is right for my son??? She has said I should contact monitoring and assessment and plead with them,so I will do that.I want to at least see the options first.

 

So upset! Sam can now only go if they get more outreach for him,meanwhile nothing has changed!!!

[Sally44]

As awful as this time is at least the HT is being honest and is saying that they cannot cope. That means the LEA have to find a suitable place for him.

If he is having such difficulties mainstream then it is worth looking at autism units to see if any of them would be able to meet his needs. If he gets a place in an autism unit and his behaviour improves then that is an improvement in one area. Also the unit will have small groups and specialist teachers.

If you feel the peer group in the unit is not suitable then the only other option is ASD independent school.

TBH that is not easy to get without providing specialist reports etc. And it is even harder if it is during primary years and not at transition.

It might be worth considering (if you find somewhere you like) an autism unit and seeing how he settles into that. If, by the time of transition it is apparent that he is much more capable than his peers then that is a better time to fight for an ASD specific independent placement, if the LEA do not have anything else to offer.

If he is not coping in school now, then it usually gets worse because as they get older there are more demands placed on them and often the child does not have the basic skills to build on and so the anxiety and stress increases etc.

So, try to see this as a positive move by the HT. If she was agreeing to your son going full time and you are still having to be called in every day, and his behaviour escalates and he is excluded, then that is no solution.

If he is in an autism unit, they can and should (if suitable) take him over to the mainstream school for certain lessons or activities that he can cope with.

Keep strong, and go and visit what is available within your LEA. Go and visit places even if they say they are full. If you find the most suitable place and it is full you can go to tribunal and if they agree with you they can request that an additional place is made for your son. And if the alternative is an independent school most LEAs do try to come up with a place in one of their maintained school units.

 

[jomica]

It's a long time since I've been here, so apologies for butting in.

 

What you're describing Justine1 is basically unofficial exclusion, which is unlawful unless carried out under the proper exclusion procedures. See: http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/b...iour/exclusion/

 

Have you been to Parent Partnership to get help, or phoned IPSEA?