Memory

[LS2242]

Hi All

 

I have noticed that our 9yr old son seems to forget things you told him 10 minutes ago. Initially I thought it was the use of kids 'selective hearing' and never thought anymore about it.

 

Today my daughter said to me that tonight she has had to keep telling him the same thing numerous times and then within minutes he can't remember again. With my daughter saying it too and she is onlu 11, it made me think is it the selective hearing???

 

I know he remembers things from years ago and weeks ago (as he is forever reminding me)

 

I just wondered what your opinions are

[Bluesbreaker]

Being Aspergers myself, its moreso a case of selective hearing, i can't be bothered to listen half the time i listen when i want too.... which can be a pain for me cos i miss the important stuff

[Malcolm Matthews]

Hi All

 

I have noticed that our 9yr old son seems to forget things you told him 10 minutes ago. Initially I thought it was the use of kids 'selective hearing' and never thought anymore about it.

 

Today my daughter said to me that tonight she has had to keep telling him the same thing numerous times and then within minutes he can't remember again. With my daughter saying it too and she is onlu 11, it made me think is it the selective hearing???

 

I know he remembers things from years ago and weeks ago (as he is forever reminding me)

 

I just wondered what your opinions are

 

I've got to say, I had/have the exact same issue with my eleven-year-old (Aspie, ADHD, Tourette's) and my four-year-old (PDD). It used to drive me nuts, and, to be honest, I still find it a bit stressful to have to tell them the same thing over and over.

 

With due respect to Bluesbreaker, I don't believe this to be a case of "selective hearing." There's no malice involved. It's not really laziness. My wife and I sometimes (sadly) refer to this phenomenon in our boys as "Etch-a-Sketch" memory. You can tell them something then two minutes or an hour or a day later, it's like it's been erased from their brains. In fact, this is the key moment that led us to seek a diagnosis for our eleven-year-old back when he was four. I was teaching him math, and he couldn't remember "four plus four." I tried using blocks, my fingers, Legos, you name it to illustrate the idea. He'd say "eight" and then ten minutes later, it's like he never heard of "four plus four" in his life. I got frustrated with him and said, "Look. It's eight. Okay? No matter what I say, I want you to say 'eight.' Now, what's four plus four?" Then he waited a minute, counted on his fingers, looked up at me, and said, "Six?" That very night, I said to my wife, "I don't get it. He seems normal in most ways. Then sometimes he seems like he's got autism or something." The word "autism" jumped out at her, and my wife embarked on some research. After a lot of time and a lot of tests, our son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which neither my wife nor I had ever heard of, but it fit our son like a glove.

 

It's like their minds don't have regular streets like everyone else's; just highways and dirt roads. For some things, they just zip along; for others, they run into pits and pot-holes and fall into the occasional ditch.

 

My point is, the memory lapses might be an uncontrollable neurological glitch. Either way, don't let it frustrate you. It's not personal. We just need to be extra patient with our children and with ourselves. (Things like visual reminders can be handy. We labeled pretty much everything in the house with words and pictures. It's not a cure-all, but it seems to help a bit.)

[Mumble]

I have problems with short-term memory. The docs/profs don't know if it's due to my ASD or a severe head-injury I had. The cause is actually less important; how you respond to it and strategies you use are more important.

 

Bluesbreaker's statement is particularly unhelpful. Of course, there could be an element of choosing not to hear ("sorry Mum, didn't hear you telling me to do the washing up" ) but if this is a consistent problem and one not happening in situations to his advantage, then you need to think about how to deal with it.

 

Start by breaking down tasks/demands. Rather than "pick up your dirty socks, take them upstairs, put those socks in the wash-box and get clean ones on" try "pick up your dirty socks". Once done, "take them upstairs", then ... you get the idea. You could try combining two to see what he can cope with.

 

It might also be worth seeing if this is about hearing, memory or processing. If it's about processing rather than memory, asking him to repeat what you've said won't help, as it will just be repetition without understanding. However, quizzing him about it would show whether it is being processed "what are you going to do with your dirty socks?"

 

Does he struggle in school? What strategies do they use? It may be worth trying to do the same for consistency.

 

[LS2242]

Hi

 

Thank you for your opinions. Short term memory then in AS definatley exists. I will keep a closer eye on this, as it could mean I have to aprroach son differently sometimes.

 

Due to your post Matthew you have instigated me with another question. When you say tourettes, how did it start?

 

My son has facial tics and has had them for a while now, they reduce and sometimes stop when there is no school (Not weekends but more summer holidays) but they always come back. I was concerned it would change to tourettes and asked the phycologist but he said it may but it wont.

 

Just wondered what your experience of this is.

[LS2242]

 

Does he struggle in school? What strategies do they use? It may be worth trying to do the same for consistency.

 

He does not struggle within school other than socially. But he does mask things greatly - which is why they say his stress levels are so high and 'explodes' if had a bad day.

 

What my son has however told me before he copies off the child next door because he doesnt know what to do even though the teacher explained. He wont ask the teacher again incase he gets into trouble! I thought that was down to him not understanding.. Maybe not! School dont do anything as yet. Phycologist trying arrange a meeting with us and his form tutor to device a plan of action. This is only in the context of him trying to acknoledge what stresses him out and basically to tell a teacher - this in turn to reduce his stress so that he MAY not come home and 'explode'! Not sure on the whole system and how bad he really is, because the school dont see anything.

 

 

I can see what your saying re example of socks but would the short term memory be that short. I could ask him to do that and I think he could manage that ok. But if I asked him ten minutes later by say saying 'Can you do what I asked you to do' then chances are I would have to repeat it because he wouldn't recall what I had asked. Hope that makes sense.

 

[trekster]

It could be a number of things but i disagree with the selective hearing as at least in mine and many

of my friends cases (all ASD) we're just too distracted by other stuff to be able to process your comments.

 

Fish oils, being dairy free, plenty of sleep and b12 supplements have helped improved my short term memory.

Also not being stressed when im told something or not using strong emotions to tell me something.

 

In meltdown/overload mode we cannot process what is being said to us during the later stages and start

taking everything the wrong way.

[trekster]

Hi

 

Thank you for your opinions. Short term memory then in AS definatley exists. I will keep a closer eye on this, as it could mean I have to aprroach son differently sometimes.

 

Due to your post Matthew you have instigated me with another question. When you say tourettes, how did it start?

 

My son has facial tics and has had them for a while now, they reduce and sometimes stop when there is no school (Not weekends but more summer holidays) but they always come back. I was concerned it would change to tourettes and asked the phycologist but he said it may but it wont.

 

Just wondered what your experience of this is.

 

From my limited knowledge of tourettes it's due to being stressed or excited ie strong emotions bring out tics.

Another point i forgot to add is that if things have changed suddenly and i dont understand why or how they have changed

and it happens a few times in a day then i have problems remembering things.

 

An example is yesterday morning i went upstairs to use my bros computer but the internet wouldn't connect, i looked over and saw a cable had been disconnected and couldn't find a way to connect it, then i used the laptop eventually. A friend of mine phoned unexpectedly early, i had forgotten my bro had asked me to be quiet the next day but as i couldn't move the laptop in one hand and the phone in the other without falling downstairs, my phone call woke my brother. He still doesn't understand why i didnt move downstairs but if he brings it up again i will explain it was for work (social secretary stuff is work), the internet being off threw me and i couldn't get downstairs in time to answer the phone.

[Malcolm Matthews]

LS2242,

 

(May I call you "L"?)

 

Tourette's originally manifested itself in my eleven-year-old when he was about three. He had eye twitches. Then they went away only to reapper in his cheek. That lasted a few years. Then they moved around his face for a while, and he had a bout of hand-twitching during that time, too. Now everything seems to have faded. I'm not sure why or how, but so far, he seems to have grown out of the more visible elements of Tourette's. (Is that even possible?) The only real physical manisfestations of his condition (either a result of Asperger's, Tourette's, or perhaps completely unrelated) is a speech impediment called "cluttering," where, unless he concentrates, it sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. Your son sounds like he may on about the same level as mine re: facial tics. Obviously everyone's experiences are different, but I wouldn't be surprised if you found the visible effects growing less noticeable over time.

 

-- Malcolm

 

 

[Bluesbreaker]

Does he struggle in school? What strategies do they use? It may be worth trying to do the same for consistency.

 

 

He does not struggle within school other than socially. But he does mask things greatly - which is why they say his stress levels are so high and 'explodes' if had a bad day.

 

What my son has however told me before he copies off the child next door because he doesnt know what to do even though the teacher explained. He wont ask the teacher again incase he gets into trouble! I thought that was down to him not understanding.. Maybe not! School dont do anything as yet. Phycologist trying arrange a meeting with us and his form tutor to device a plan of action. This is only in the context of him trying to acknoledge what stresses him out and basically to tell a teacher - this in turn to reduce his stress so that he MAY not come home and 'explode'! Not sure on the whole system and how bad he really is, because the school dont see anything.

 

for the record i wasn't accusing anyone of being lazy ......

 

anyway

 

this is a problem i used to have when i was at primary school, because i always thought the teachers would ignore me and didn't have time for me, so my then LSA told me to just put my hand up and ask, and that the teachers did have time for me and wanted to help me a lot. the only Hurdle this caused was me over asking or over frequently putting my hand up to answer questions and ask for advice, so in terms of answering questions, my LSA gave me three green discs and when i answered one question then i had a card taken off me, etc.

 

in terms of the short memory too, what also helped was the re cap of the last lesson/homeworks we had/ what methods we used to complete work. this meant that each time we wlaked into a classroom we got our heads refreshed with this information, which ultimately kept me more focused and a lot calmer and happier.

 

 

[Tally]

Difficulty remembering strings of instructions is a fairly common problem in ASD. Mumble's suggestion of giving one instruction at a time is one that often works very well. Another alternative is to write down a list of instructions in the right order, so he can see all parts of the process and follow the instructions in order.

[JsMum]

 

 

Has your son had one of these, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wechsler_Inte...le_for_Children

 

My son has had a few different assessments done and the results where interesting in that there was impairments in memory and processing but there where abilities in viusal learning, Ie pictures.

 

The processing is not just was is filtered In, but what he wants to filter back out, he may have it in his head but cant processs the output.

 

If there is Processing issues then Sensory processing Disorder maybe something to research as there will be some spersific stratagies to use for this.

 

A fab, book advised to me is The out of Syncs Child, once you have read it, you understand sooo much more on processing issues, I did this because I was sick of having to go for yet another hearing test, or another eye test as people thought he migh be deaf, or impaired vision, his vision and hearing is enhanced, its better than normal.!

 

I would defo look at some sensory processing assessments done too.

 

JsMumx

 

 

[LS2242]

Hi

 

He has not had that assessment as yet. reading the info I am pursuming it is the one that the phycologist said he was going to do soon. He explained it as like an IQ test but a much more indepth view to show weaknesses and strentghs, He also said about writing a report for the social and communications panel to come and do an assessment.

 

I certainly have alot to look into from the info I have received from people on here. Thanks

[trekster]

Hi

 

He has not had that assessment as yet. reading the info I am pursuing it is the one that the psychologist said he was going to do soon. He explained it as like an IQ test but a much more in-depth view to show weaknesses and strengths, He also said about writing a report for the social and communications panel to come and do an assessment.

 

I certainly have a lot to look into from the info I have received from people on here. Thanks

 

Ed psyc helped me understand my strengths and weaknesses.

[baranigirl]

DP often says I have not told him something, when I can clearly recall the convo and positions we were sitting / standing etc like a visual picture in my mind, even with me doing this he still has no recollectionof the convo.

 

I assumed it was him just 'switching off' but I now believe it was just information overload, he prefers me writing lists or bullet points of instructions as being dyslexic he doesn't need all my babble to read as well