What do people with AS do that gets them looked at?

[Candyfloss]

People look at me and then look away from me with a small smile / laugh on their face

[Mumble]

People look at me and then look away from me with a small smile / laugh on their face

To be aware that someone is looking at you, you have to be looking at them. Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?

 

[Candyfloss]

To be aware that someone is looking at you, you have to be looking at them. Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?

 

 

People DO look and laugh at me - sometimes just look - eg im in the car - they stare at me and turn they head to keep looking at me??

:/

 

[winston]

People DO look and laugh at me - sometimes just look - eg im in the car - they stare at me and turn they head to keep looking at me??

:/

 

you could be exceptionally gorgeous to them

how does it make you feel when others look at you?

Do you feel you have to protect yourself? Does it make you feel annoyed or frightened? Maybe people misunderstand your facial expressions, my son always looks sad and often has people say "cheer up" sometimes people think he looks angry when he looks that way, but in fact he is just feeling like 'him' and people are making an assumption based on his facial expression.

 

[Bluesbreaker]

People DO look and laugh at me - sometimes just look - eg im in the car - they stare at me and turn they head to keep looking at me??

:/

 

i know what you mean, i hate people looking at me, and its normally blokes as well not women or girls my age (most unfortunate... lol) and i hate it, i dont understand why either, is it because of the way i walk? my facial expressions? the purple flares (very rarely wear those)? or is it just inquisitive people??

 

When i am riding my push bike however, i tend to look around at cars, people, everything because i need awareness, i also wear a bandana (breathing issues, stops cool air harming my lungs) and this makes it great when i stare motorists out with evils if the cut me up or something...

 

anyway, i think its just inquisitive people my friend, nothing serious and they dont mean any harm or anything, but i totally understand why you question it

 

[trekster]

i find people stare at me if im talking too loud or i am wearing something strange eg shirt tail hanging out. ive had people stare at me for sitting by a cash machine but dont have the guts to tell me "thats a bad idea" which bugs me.

[Mumble]

i find people stare at me if I'm talking too loud or i am wearing something strange eg shirt tail hanging out.

That's normal human behaviour (the reaction of others), nothing to do with you being Autistic.

 

I've had people stare at me for sitting by a cash machine but don't have the guts to tell me "thats a bad idea" which bugs me.

Erm, well you clearly know it's a bad idea as you've said it here, so why do it? Personally if I were going to use a cash machine and someone was sitting by it, I would feel very uncomfortable and, so long as they didn't look too thug like () might give them a 'what the hell do you think you're doing invading other people's necessary personal space' stare. It's the same as the stare I would give the commuters who don't think and stand in the way of the door when I'm trying to get off. I don't have to say anything, the stare conveys meaning. A stare has meaning in and of itself and they would expect you to understand what it means (as you clearly do) without having to verbalise it.

 

[KezT]

People look at me and then look away from me with a small smile / laugh on their face

 

basically everyone looks at everyone all the time. No-one likes to be caught looking at someone else, so when you look at them looking at you they will look away. If you make it obvious that you "caught them looking" they will usually be slightly embarressed and try to laugh it off - nobody likes to make eye contact with complete strangers

 

 

[Sally44]

My son talks to himself all the time. He is contantly re-running DVD/TV dialogue in his head. This makes people look at him. At some point in the future I want to try to get him to at least do it silently. He is really into Star Wars at the moment so he is constantly in a laser sabre war with all the sound effects etc.

There could be lots of reasons why people look at you. And some suggestions have already been made. If you really felt unsure you could ask something you trust (family or friend) to go out with you and see if they can identify anything. If you are intending to 'watch' other people closer to try to work out what they are looking at, then it might be an idea to wear some shades so that other people cannot see that you are watching them.

[trekster]

basically everyone looks at everyone all the time. No-one likes to be caught looking at someone else, so when you look at them looking at you they will look away. If you make it obvious that you "caught them looking" they will usually be slightly embarrassed and try to laugh it off - nobody likes to make eye contact with complete strangers

 

this is what confuses me about people, they laugh and i think they are laughing at me.

[KezT]

this is what confuses me about people, they laugh and i think they are laughing at me.

 

they will hardly ever be laughing at you - people are incredibly self centred and just don't care enough about you to bother to form any opinion, laughable or otherwise

 

laughter is often used to cover other emotions - anxiety, embarressment, fear etc and also to bond with the other people they are with. they may be laughing at themselves for feeling those emotions, or making a joke to hide that they are feeling them.

 

Unless an AS person does anything obviously "disabled" such as muttering to themselves, or dancing around etc, it is unlikely they are looked at or laughed at more or less than everyone else. We ALL think that people are looking at us when we feel insecure, but in truth, people are just looking around, and we're in the way LOL

[justine1]

they will hardly ever be laughing at you - people are incredibly self centred and just don't care enough about you to bother to form any opinion, laughable or otherwise

 

laughter is often used to cover other emotions - anxiety, embarressment, fear etc and also to bond with the other people they are with. they may be laughing at themselves for feeling those emotions, or making a joke to hide that they are feeling them.

 

Unless an AS person does anything obviously "disabled" such as muttering to themselves, or dancing around etc, it is unlikely they are looked at or laughed at more or less than everyone else. We ALL think that people are looking at us when we feel insecure, but in truth, people are just looking around, and we're in the way LOL

Thats how I feel.I am very self conscious.I always feel people look at me,thinking I am a loner or weird somehow.I know its probably so not the case but I do feel this way I dont look to see if people are looking at me though,I generally look ahead or to the ground.Like Mumble says I lean towards me being paranoid.

[Mumble]

Like Mumble says I lean towards me being paranoid.

<'> Sorry, didn't mean to insult anyone with that comment, Kez has explained it much better. I was constantly thinking that people were staring at me, worried about what they were thinking, projecting all sorts of negatives thoughts and became really scared to do lots of things because of my perceived reactions by others. Through CBT I've learn to challenge these thoughts and to understand more about human behaviour and that actually, I'm not being watched and that many many people think and feel the same way I was. I'm not saying it's been easy to change my way of thinking, in fact it's taken well over a year and still when there's other stressors I slip back into my old ways of thinking, but overall, I have been so much happier and generally more content just walking around even recently. I was extremely paranoid about what others were thinking and I needed that pointed out to me - that's what I was trying to do here in using the word paranoid.

 

[justine1]

<'> Sorry, didn't mean to insult anyone with that comment, Kez has explained it much better. I was constantly thinking that people were staring at me, worried about what they were thinking, projecting all sorts of negatives thoughts and became really scared to do lots of things because of my perceived reactions by others. Through CBT I've learn to challenge these thoughts and to understand more about human behaviour and that actually, I'm not being watched and that many many people think and feel the same way I was. I'm not saying it's been easy to change my way of thinking, in fact it's taken well over a year and still when there's other stressors I slip back into my old ways of thinking, but overall, I have been so much happier and generally more content just walking around even recently. I was extremely paranoid about what others were thinking and I needed that pointed out to me - that's what I was trying to do here in using the word paranoid.

I get what you mean anyway I think that is really great you have learnt to deal with it,I still cant.I thought it was because of when I was with my ex and all the negative comments but two years on I still feel the same way.I think if I have a friend to talk to while walking I tend not to notice anyone else but dont have that option right now Hope it will change when I go to Uni,if I feel more positive I think everything else will fall into place