Has any one heard of this?

[JsMum]

I am wondering if anyone can be acused of this relating to a child with comorbid disabilties such as ASD, ADHD, exct...

 

To fill you in a little I removed my son from a BESD residential school as his mental health, behavioural and learning needs where deteriating, since then social services have placed J on the child protection plan and insisted my son returned to this BESD school which he has refused and since has been placed on a medical note to prospone the return due to further deteriation in behavioural and menatl health needs which the social worker has gone nuts at and has implied that the GP cant prove or disaprove Js levels of anxiety.

 

I feel more and more that the social services are blaming me for Js problems and that he doesnt really have any disabilities that are already diagnosed and he is registered as disabled, has a statement, attends a special school and in past core assessments my parenting capacity came back sound, all of a sudden since the removal of resi school the staff there have done a really good job to try and turn this on as the Parents fault, and social services have sucked into this when it is not true and I have evidence to prove that the school failed to meet his neeeds.

 

I feel that the social services are thinking Im fabricating Js needs and anxieties and wonder what I can do to try and get the services to understand that our needs are because there not getting met on all levels.

 

We are going to SEND to request a new specialist ASD specialist provision that will cater for Js Education, care, Therapies and Respite as at present he has a seperate residential respite placement that is not working as it does not meet his special needs.

 

I feel it is only a matter of time before they could remove J all together because of this illness the social service I feel are trying to label me.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factitious_disorder

that is now been identified that I could well be suffering when i do not.

 

 

Im proper shitting myself because All I have done for J is fight for his special needs and to ensure he gets those met and any one here who has been long enough to know my posts hopefully will understand that.

 

I went to social services begging for help, I had to instruct a solisotor because the social services failed to do an assessment and when they did it was on the phone, and incorrect procedures so the solisitor ensured we got the right assessment, the assessment barriterated my parenting saying I cant put in consequences, but when I do J is so extreamly aggressive emergency services are called, which sadly because J has recived a history of police assistance has actually gone against Js favour because it now proves that J is boyond parental control, another reason I could loose him, and because of that it was another reason J went on the child protection plan, since the core assessment he has recieved the respite care but its hasnt worked and in the meantime his residential placement also broke down and so he is now at home longer periods, social services refuse to give me extended respite saying he should be at resi school, but he is now signed off medically, but they still have refused to give me urgent respite.

 

Now because J is home long periods and can I not meet his needs without a break because of my own needs there saying J is at risk, now because J is off sick, and maybe fabricating his needs he is also another risk,

 

What the hell do I do, I am soo afraidxxx

JsMumx

[baddad]

Hi Js Mum -

 

Really sorry to hear of the difficulties you're in.

 

Don't know anything about factitious disorder, but as you say it does appear to be a new term for MBP - or so closely related that it's something of a moot point.

From a purely practical POV, though, I think you need to establish if this has been 'identified' as the cause of J's problems or as a contributory cause, and if so by whom. None of the people you've mentioned so far (SS team/J's old school staff) are in any way qualified to 'diagnose' you, whatever their suspicions or the reason for their suspicions. You say your solicitor made sure you got the 'right assessment' - is this the assessment that SS have picked up on, and if so how was it made available to them? Did that indicate 'factitious disorder', or is this something SS seem to have concluded for themselves based on the assessment? you need clarification on these points, I think.

 

From the outside, you do seem pretty much painted into a corner. They've identified that you don't follow through on consequences and you've admitted to them that you fear for your own safety if you try to do so to the point that you are/have been reliant on police intervention. In every sense, that does equate to 'beyond parental control'. He's also, reading between the lines, not currently in school and you are saying you can't get him there. Given all of those factors, I think you have to take a rest from 'fighting j's corner' and fight your own. In the short term, J's not going to be happy with the consequences of that, but compared to the long term consequences to you both of you not ensuring J's compliance with at least some of the expectations being asked of him that's, in real terms, a moot point. If they have a residential placement available - or the old one is still there - get him there, and make sure if he is at home it's because they have sent him home rather than because you've not sent him in. If he won't go, phone the school and have them come collect him, or them make the decision that getting him there is not going to be possible. I know you've said he's 'signed off medically' but that's something of a catch 22 - You're saying you need urgent respite, but if you, his mother, can't feel safe around him and a specialised school placement can't meet his needs what sort of respite service is going to be able to? The likely kind of placement isn't going to be one J will enjoy or you will want, and if the respite placement comes to the same conclusions about J (and you) as others then you'll be in an even worse position. And galling as it might be, a GP's note based on a brief consultation and your anecdotal evidence just isn't going to stack up against the weight of professional opinion suggesting he should be in school - especially if that has come from privately obtained reports instructed by your own solicitor.

 

Hope someone comes along soon with some more practical advice, and sorry there are so many negatives in the above. Hope also the few bits of 'advice' I have been able to offer prove helpful.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Shrinking Violet]

I would agree with everything BD's said - my fear is that, if you DON'T do something PDQ he could well be in the fast lane for a spell in a young offenders' institution - and that's not going to be good for ANYONE...

 

Obviously I don't know how old he he is, but whenever I've read things you've written, it always comes across to me like he's a teenager.

 

WIsh I could help too, but I'm an Aspie myself and there is NO danger of me EVER having kids, so I'm not really much use when it comes to parenting issues...

 

Hugs,

 

Sarah xxx

[JsMum]

Hi Js Mum -

 

Really sorry to hear of the difficulties you're in.

 

Don't know anything about factitious disorder, but as you say it does appear to be a new term for MBP - or so closely related that it's something of a moot point.

 

Yes it is the new word for MBP. which It has never ever been suggested in any of my resports from Proffessionals and SS in the past, the recent suspision is because when ever I explain Js anxietie levels or similair the social worker doesnt believe me and basically implies Im frabricating Js issues even though I have a stack of evidence to prove his already diagnosed disabiltiies.

 

 

 

From a purely practical POV, though, I think you need to establish if this has been 'identified' as the cause of J's problems or as a contributory cause, and if so by whom. None of the people you've mentioned so far (SS team/J's old school staff) are in any way qualified to 'diagnose' you, whatever their suspicions or the reason for their suspicions. You say your solicitor made sure you got the 'right assessment' - is this the assessment that SS have picked up on, and if so how was it made available to them? Did that indicate 'factitious disorder', or is this something SS seem to have concluded for themselves based on the assessment? you need clarification on these points, I think.

 

 

we had request three occassions for J and myself to have assessments done, J because of his disabilties and mine because as my role as a carer it was done throw Child In Need.

 

The first Assessment request was ignored, the second request the social worker said it had already been deemed that J didnt meet criteria for any support and I asked when and how and they replied or on the phone, when I requested the third time for an assessment they said an assessment had taken place when it had not and the solisitor was then instructed, right at this time J was been expelled for assaults towards staff and i had just had a difficult summer holidays so we needed urgent assessment to obtain respite in the holidays.

 

The assessment was a core assessment, I had requested this in september 2009, the actual core assessment took place in MARCH 2010, he hadnt had access to CAHMS or other services due to the residential school residencies causing issues with referrals and funding and it took until SEPTEMBER 2010 for J to be finally assessed by a psychiatrist who has since referred J onto a specialist ASD Consultant as we are requesting J access the Hawksmere Centre for a full assessment which our GP had no problems referring but the funding requires a Social worker who we requested the referral in January 2011 of which she has refused and Ive requested that she put her refusal into writing.

 

The GP has in the meantime referred J to our local CAHMS as he has required two emergency Gp appointments and Two GP appointments since December and January 2011 and we thought the GP was actually trying to support J as he feels Js Anxiety and Js full intent on getting excluded are valid and real and so in the mean time he has referred J to the local CAHMS but recently the Consultant Psych has walked out and there has been a gap and so were still waiting for a Pscyhatrist to see J in our area, J has had no involvement with CAHMS since starting the BESD school even though there has been concerned with his extream agression and violent behaviour both at school and at home.

 

From the outside, you do seem pretty much painted into a corner. They've identified that you don't follow through on consequences and you've admitted to them that you fear for your own safety if you try to do so to the point that you are/have been reliant on police intervention.

 

 

this is what we where told to do by the Social services as they refuse to assist when J is aggressive and J has also had Emergency GP and Local GP who advised this too so were only acting on what we have been told to.

 

 

In every sense, that does equate to 'beyond parental control'. He's also, reading between the lines, not currently in school and you are saying you can't get him there. Given all of those factors, I think you have to take a rest from 'fighting j's corner' and fight your own. In the short term, J's not going to be happy with the consequences of that, but compared to the long term consequences to you both of you not ensuring J's compliance with at least some of the expectations being asked of him that's, in real terms, a moot point. If they have a residential placement available - or the old one is still there - get him there, and make sure if he is at home it's because they have sent him home rather than because you've not sent him in. If he won't go, phone the school and have them come collect him, or them make the decision that getting him there is not going to be possible. I know you've said he's 'signed off medically' but that's something of a catch 22 -

 

he was seen by a GP four times since December - January 2011, he really cant attend school in the state he is in, he is totally intent on getting permanantly excluded and has said he would even burn down the school if he had to go back, since September -October 2010 the school have given J internal exclusions for hitting another student, teacher and absconding, they refuse to send him home recently saying that was because he wanted!

 

 

You're saying you need urgent respite, but if you, his mother, can't feel safe around him and a specialised school placement can't meet his needs what sort of respite service is going to be able to?

 

 

J attends a special needs residential respite placement two hours from our home and there is no other children at all placed there, he was bored and isolated himself, it is for children with special needs and J refused to attend his second week in the christmas hols, he has agreed if we where to recieve respite he would go, but social services said now he is signed off school, he is there fore too sick to attend the special needs respite. I am defo defo struggling with J due to the fact Ive got no respite, Ive had J home from October to now and all Ive had is Three days respite, Im exhuasted, drained and if I dont recieve some respite soon, social services will have all the evidence they need that Im crazy, because Im turning crazy just been in this situation. they wont give us any respite not until April the Easter Holidays, I Know I wont be able to last until April, Im dying NOW. the special needs respite provision have already agreed to take J in for respite as an emergency but SS are refusing to FUND it NOW.

 

 

The likely kind of placement isn't going to be one J will enjoy or you will want,

He has agreed to go to respite but he has said there is no other kids there and its boring.

 

and if the respite placement comes to the same conclusions about J (and you) as others then you'll be in an even worse position. And galling as it might be, a GP's note based on a brief consultation and your anecdotal evidence just isn't going to stack up against the weight of professional opinion suggesting he should be in school - especially if that has come from privately obtained reports instructed by your own solicitor.

 

The reports are Just Js diagnosis and Assessments and recent core assessments which praised my parenting ability and coping mechenaisms until the core assessment in March 2010. he has been seen four times by a gp so this isnt a brief consulation with a gp.

 

Hope someone comes along soon with some more practical advice, and sorry there are so many negatives in the above. Hope also the few bits of 'advice' I have been able to offer prove helpful.

I was worried about what you may reply with but you have been fair and honest, I apriciate your opinion thankyou.

 

JsMum

Edited February 6, 2011 by JsMum

[JsMum]

I would agree with everything BD's said - my fear is that, if you DON'T do something PDQ he could well be in the fast lane for a spell in a young offenders' institution - and that's not going to be good for ANYONE...

 

Obviously I don't know how old he he is, but whenever I've read things you've written, it always comes across to me like he's a teenager.

 

WIsh I could help too, but I'm an Aspie myself and there is NO danger of me EVER having kids, so I'm not really much use when it comes to parenting issues...

 

Hugs,

 

Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah J is nearly 14, he is indeed a teenager, I did a Triple p teenagers parenting course for 6 months before J attend the Residential BESD school and I was praised for my parenting, the practioner was impressed that I had modified it to meet Js ASD Needs and his other diagnosis and identified needs, at the time J was just as challenging and aggressive, but there was nothing at like this and J was home more back then as he was too anxious to learn in a mainstream setting, I had to fight to get him in this BESD school, it was not an easy task, now I am fighting to get him out, if he is forced to return I do fear he could well expreince a long sentence in a young offenders insitute due to his aggressive behaviours only for J it will be cut short because he wouldnt be able to cope in such an enviroement.

 

I have identified an other specialist ASD/CAMHS/Developmental disorders provison already for J but LA are absaloutly refusing to consider itx

 

JsMumx

[justine1]

HI

 

So sorry Js mum that you going through this right now <'>

 

Ths type of thing can happen to anyone really,with me being a single mum of four boys it is something I often fear.My eldest NT has had "bad" moments in the past where I have felt at the end of my tither.I dont know how he will be at age 14,but I know that any one of my boys could end up on the wrong side of the tracks.Though I really pray they wont

 

I have no suggestions and dont know really what to say.I do agree with Baddads post,its a very honest post IMO.

I do think there is only so much you can do,you have fought for statement,school place,DLA,respite etc what more can you do??

 

 

I realise the school is not appropriate,but it maybe that you have to just send him there to give yourself time to sort something else out,SS may also back off a little if you do this.I know I have been finding it sooooooooo hard finding the right school for Sam,I feel the more time he is off school the harder it will be for all of us when he goes back.This is likely to be the same for J.

 

I know he may not want to go in to school but have you been able to explain that he may be taken away from you? Maybe if you give him more of a reality check it may help.

[bid]

Really, really sorry to hear this J'smum <'>

 

I think you have to get legal advice as soon as possible from a solicitor experienced in child protection cases.

 

Very best,

 

Bidx <'>

[JsMum]

Really, really sorry to hear this J'smum <'>

 

I think you have to get legal advice as soon as possible from a solicitor experienced in child protection cases.

 

Very best,

 

Bidx <'>

 

 

We have the same solisitor we instructed on behalf of J back in October 2009 we have done a lot of fighting to ensure J has respite and were fighting for changes in his statement so J can access a 52wk residential specialist provision so she is on our side, just recently though we ran out of funding due to Legal Aid and we have had to wait for funding since then I attened the Child Protection plan and J was place on it due to NEGLECT due to the fact I can no longer meet Js needs due to his challenging behaviours, and been unable to meet my own needs when I care for J long term without respite, the term Neglect hurts the most, as I havent neglected J, I just cant no longer meet his needs unsupported.

 

Since January 2011 the social worker has been making me feel Im making everything up.

 

I know its a mess, im going to loose J at this rate arnt I, I dont want to loose him for everx that is horrible to even think.

 

We do have a solisitor and as soon as funding come available were going to judical review to access urgent respite, I did suggest that I would place him into care under section 20 but the solisitor didnt advice this as it may prove harder to have J return home, what he needs is a new provision where he can access respit, care, education, therapies and come home weekends and recieve some respite in the holidays.

 

LA Are really fighting me hard on this desicionx

 

JsMumx

Edited February 6, 2011 by JsMum

[Kathryn]

Oh J's Mum

 

I don't have any advice to give, just a couple of these: <'> <'> and you know you can pm me if you need to.

 

K x

[baddad]

Hi again Js mum -

Can appreciate you're all over the place right now, but coming back to my first post I really think you need to be clear about what is being said and who is saying it...

If a medical professional has used the term 'factitious disorder' and applied it to you, you need to establish what led them to that conclusion. It's not a term they can bandy about casually, and I'm fairly sure not one they can use casually to justify separating you from J (if that is their intent).

If the term has been used to describe you by a Social Worker or someone else unqualified to make such a casual diagnosis then that would probably be a very serious disciplinary offence.

If the allegation is less defined - more that you have 'failed to help' J appropriately than actually fictionalised his needs - then you need to respond to that allegation rather than the one you feel is being made, iyswim...

 

I'd agree with bid that you do need to take good legal advice from someone who really understands the ins and outs of this area of law. It may be that - with the best will in the world - that may not be the solicitor you're using at the moment (I'm not saying it isn't, because of course I haven't a clue about your solicitors, but you may need to look further afield and consider other options).

 

Very best

 

BD

Edited February 6, 2011 by baddad

[JsMum]

Hi again Js mum -

Can appreciate you're all over the place right now,

Thanks for appreciating that fact, that means a lot Baddad.

 

 

but coming back to my first post I really think you need to be clear about what is being said and who is saying it...

The social worker hasnt come out right that I may have this condition but she is definatley implying that I am fabricating Js needs and that Js present Anxieties are a product of my own and that My anxieties are rubbing off onto J.

 

If a medical professional has used the term 'factitious disorder' and applied it to you/

No Medical proffessional has used this term ever, I saw the GP a year ago requesting counsilling as I was really anxious with coping with Js needs and the GP said that there is no real point because what I needed was actual practical support for J, no ammount of counsilling was goint to help, even if I had ten consillors, it wasnt the answer, the answer was support for J. I do have mental health diagnosis but not anything like factitious disorder.

 

you need to establish what led them to that conclusion. It's not a term they can bandy about casually, and I'm fairly sure not one they can use casually to justify separating you from J (if that is their intent).

If the social worker could prove that I am frabricating Js needs Im worried they could remove him soley on this ground.

 

 

If the term has been used to describe you by a Social Worker or someone else unqualified to make such a casual diagnosis then that would probably be a very serious disciplinary offence.

she hasnt said Fictious Disorder but she has implied that I am frabricating and causing Js anxieties due to my own anxieties.

 

 

If the allegation is less defined - more that you have 'failed to help' J appropriately than actually fictionalised his needs - then you need to respond to that allegation rather than the one you feel is being made, iyswim...

I went to social services for assessmnet of need, ive not hidden anything, Ive been upfront and honest, Ive admitted I can no longer meet Js needs without support, surely that in itself is helping J.

 

I'd agree with bid that you do need to take good legal advice from someone who really understands the ins and outs of this area of law. It may be that - with the best will in the world - that may not be the solicitor you're using at the moment (I'm not saying it isn't, because of course I haven't a clue about your solicitors, but you may need to look further afield and consider other options).

I got this solisitor thow National Autistic Society and they are specialised in Community LAW. The solisitor has said if the social worker attempts to remove J I have to ring her straight away but surely that will be too late by then. It also scares me that the social services could just turn up and remove him just like that by obtaining an emergency care order.

 

I have increased anxiety levels at present just purely due to our circumstances, which is obvously going to effect J which is why I am trying my best to keep things together, but Im failing to keep it up any longer.

 

JsMum

[bid]

I really feel for you <'>

 

I would still make sure that your solicitor has experience with child protection cases, as I believe this is a complex, specialised area of law.

 

Good luck,

 

Bid <'>

[JsMum]

I really feel for you <'>

 

I would still make sure that your solicitor has experience with child protection cases, as I believe this is a complex, specialised area of law.

 

Good luck,

 

Bid <'>

I have an appointment with solisitor this week, I will ensure i ask her about her experience with child protection cases, this sure is complex, I thought J was complex enough, but this has gone way beyond anything I could of imagmined, its really seriously scareyx

 

JsMumx

[Kathryn]

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but this organisation may be able to help.

 

http://www.frg.org.uk/

 

Apologies if you know about them already.

 

K x

[coolblue]

Hi J's mum

 

This might not seem relevant at first, but bear with me.

 

My 16 year-old daughter has twice been suspected of having a Fabricated or Induced Illness (FII). It wasn't clear whether she was suspected of fabricating it, or I was, or both. It turns out that dd has had an Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) infection (glandular fever). This virus can remain dormant in nervous tissue and reactivate if the immune system is impaired, by another infection, for example. We were told she could have had the infection for many years (she's had recurring problems since she was five) and the reason it hadn't been picked up, as far as we can discover, is because there are several tests that indicate EBV and which test is done in what timeframe after an episode is important. Wrong test at the wrong time and you get a false negative.

 

Each time a FII was suspected, the people making the suggestion had not seen her full medical history; the first time they changed their minds after the school nurse saw dd's medical records and the second time after the blood tests a paediatrician had said would come back negative, came back positive.

 

It's possible that some parents do have a mental disorder that makes them fabricate and induce their children's illnesses but that mental disorder is not common and is not well-defined. It is certainly not acceptable for non-medical professionals to make allegations like this, nor is it appropriate for medical professionals to do so either, not without careful consideration of the evidence and a referral to someone qualified to make a decision.

 

I would always ask what evidence the person making the allegation has seen, on what evidence they are basing the allegation, and how they have ruled out the possibility that the parent might be telling the truth about their child's symptoms. In my experience, they often know next to nothing about the child's history.

 

Best of luck with the solicitor.

 

cb

[dana]

Hi Jsmum,

 

I am really sorry you have to go through all this. <'> >< <'> As if the difficulties your son experiences are not enough.

I don't know if this can help but have you thought of looking for another school placement which would better meet your son's needs? friend of mine had a similar situation, the special school she thought was the best for her son (and she fought hard to get him in), proved itself not so good. She also couldn't get much respite but at the end she found another school where her son is now happy.

 

I don't think that ss can put blame on you for your son's anxiates because you didn't invent his problems-he is dx by profesionals. I agree that their opinion is certainly not professional's opinion, they need to have a solid proof of that and they don't.

 

I am sorry I cannot offer better advice, just some more of these <'> ><

 

Good luck.

 

Danaxxx

[JsMum]

Hi Jsmum,

 

I am really sorry you have to go through all this. <'> >< <'> As if the difficulties your son experiences are not enough.

I don't know if this can help but have you thought of looking for another school placement which would better meet your son's needs? friend of mine had a similar situation, the special school she thought was the best for her son (and she fought hard to get him in), proved itself not so good. She also couldn't get much respite but at the end she found another school where her son is now happy.

 

I don't think that ss can put blame on you for your son's anxiates because you didn't invent his problems-he is dx by profesionals. I agree that their opinion is certainly not professional's opinion, they need to have a solid proof of that and they don't.

 

I am sorry I cannot offer better advice, just some more of these <'> ><

 

Good luck.

 

Danaxxx

 

Dana we have nominated a Specialist 52wk residential special school already but right now at this immediate time LEA say that the present SEBD resi school meets his needs, until we have the results from the REASSESSMENT of Js statement then we dont know what is the situation, if they refuse to change part 4 of Js statement I will be appealing and defo defo going to SEND to access the 52wk residential specialist ASD special school.

 

That however could take it to October- December before any possible change of school.

 

So we could be in the situation for quite a long timex

 

So just to reasure you we are trying our best to access another school.

 

JsMumx

[JsMum]

Mini update.

 

Due to been totally exhausted and not getting respite my mental health has deteriated to the point I required a Mental Health Assessment, the Nurses thankfully where fantastic and totally understood my situation and Js issues with his present school, they said that the present deteriation in my mental health was soley due to the situation were in with his school issues and social services, they got intouch with social services to notify them that this is the case and that they have no concerns over my overall mental health and that J has dx already and has special needs and that this is not something I am making up, we have previous Doctors letters of Js anxieties before he even stepped foot in present resi school, and the school is only for special needs children and he has a statement, so his needs have already been identified, the nurses have now discharged me and they had no concerns over my mental health and parental capacity.

 

So that is a reliefe to actually get it in black and white that I am not crazy.

 

We requested again urgent Respite other than his Resi school, but again social services have refused, they are forcing J back into his resi school even though he is signed off medically and J has already said if he is forced to return he is going to harm others intentionally to get permanantly excluded.

 

It is looking very likely J could end up in care because without respite other than his resi school I can not provide the suitable care he needs because I am not able to as i can not meet my own needs when I care for J full time 24-7 without respite.

 

JsMumx

[bid]

I wish I knew enough to be able to offer some more constructive advice. Have you had a chance to speak to a solicitor yet?

 

Bid <'>

[JsMum]

I wish I knew enough to be able to offer some more constructive advice. Have you had a chance to speak to a solicitor yet?

 

Bid <'>

 

 

Hi bid, the answer is yes and she has experience with chid care proceedings and has other solisitors to access for further support as its a firm of all specialist solisitors and she has been amazing, our next step is if no respite is available in the next week we are going to the next step of judicial review, there was a problem with doing this before in the fact I ran out of funding and there was a delay in the application process for legal aid.

 

If no respite is available soon we have no other option but to place J on a section 20.

 

Which deeply upsets me too, but I recognise that I can no longer care for J without respite and regular support and we are just not getting that because social services say J should be at his resi school which can not happen due to Js own mental health and the school not meeting or even recognising his special needs.

 

Two years agao I fighted to get him in this school, and two years ago the LA and SS where saying Mainstream school met his needs so I have been down this road beforex.

 

JsMumx

[bid]

I'm so sorry things have turned out like this for you

 

Bid <'>