baddad Report post Posted March 15, 2011 Went for a walk today (hooray! Sunshine!') and couldn't help but notice that dog's poo seems to be back in fashion. When I was a littlun it was everywhere you walked, especially if walking down one of the many 'dog***t alleyways' that led to any of the local parks. Then things seemed to improve for a few decades, what with fifty pound fines and pooper scoopers and little plastic baggy-waggies etc. But in the past year or so it seems to have come back with a vengeance, and dodge the dung has become the order of the day again when walking kids to school or popping to the shops for your daily loaf of bread and pint of gin (I jest, of course. Nobody eats wheat anymore, surely?). And I can't help noticing that this huge growth in the amount of dog eggs we see seems to correspond directly with the number of spotty little 'erbs in trackies and hoodies dragging 'ghost face' pit bull crosses around and the similar growth in chubby little bat faced mollies with Chihuahuas, pekes, and snivelling little shiatsu’s tucked under their armpits. What do you reckon the chances are of any one of them actually having a plakky baggie in their pocket or clutch bag? Yerse, me to. Now I know I'm a bit radical in my thinking about this, but along with Chelsea Tractors and mobile phones doggy-doo is one of my pet hates. I'm hoping to find like minded people so we can lobby government and local authorities to introduce regular dog-mess patrols, made up of HUGE muscular blerks going round in pairs and 'encouraging' dog walkers to clean up behind their animals... One thing I have noticed is that if you do see someone letting their dog squeeze one out on the path and you actually confront them about it, you'll always have happened to catch them on the ONE DAY that they had forgotten to bring a bag with them, or the day they ran out of them. Personally, I think that's just too big a coincidence, and I suspect they might not be being entirely honest about their usual poop scooping habits. But to be fair, I think we should give them the benefit of the doubt, so I propose that in the case of a 'first offence' they be treated with leniency, and if they have pockets or a handbag they can just pop it in there and be let off with just a caution. Second offence should be a fine, and they have to carry it home in their bare hands, and repeat offenders should just be given a plate and spoon (or knife and fork if the consistency demands), followed with a damn good kicking for 'afters'. Mostly, I hold the dogs blameless, and some I believe actually take it upon themselves to clean up after other dogs (lurchers are known for it, apparently), but I do think the dog-mess patrollers should also be equipped with scaled down versions of the stun guns used to humanely destroy cattle for situations where overly vicious (or 'yappy') dogs (or owners) are encountered... What do you think, then? Firm but fair? Oh- talking of 'firm but fair' you still don't see much white poo about do you? When little we used to think this was poodle’s poo, but I'm now reliably informed it has to do with the fact that dogs don't get fed bones anymore, and that for 'white' you should actually read 'calcified'. Perhaps, in that case we should add bright food colouring to all dog foods - at least that way they'll stand out more when we're walking along the road, and I guess from a distance it would look like flowers. We could have different 'seasons' of different colours - i.e. with Easter coming up all yellow... I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er streets and shops When all it once I spied a crowd A host of golden doggy plops. L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lucie1979 Report post Posted March 15, 2011 This actually made me LOL!!! In all seriouslness though I have to agree that Dog mess is a real problem!!! Its ###### everywhere!! If youve run out of "poo bags" go to the shop and get some more BEFORE you walk your dog! Surely that makes sense?!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowsButterflies Report post Posted March 15, 2011 It's disgusting. My kids were playing out today (we live on a very quiet street, there were older children out with them and I was supervising), and I actually had to clear up after someone elses dog so my toddler didn't walk in it. I don't even have a dog Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted March 16, 2011 Agree with all you proposals BD, but someone will probably pooh pooh them. We cat people never have these problems. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 16, 2011 Agree with all you proposals BD, but someone will probably pooh pooh them. We cat people never have these problems. K x Not in anyway wishing to pooh pooh your pooh pooh (That'll get her rushing to the Blackadder boxed set), but we're talking poo poo here not pooh pooh... I've been rather taken by my food colouring idea, though. Don't you think the world would be a brighter, happier place? I mean, council cutbacks and all you just don't see the kind of flower displays you used to see in parks and other communal areas, and I think psychedelic dog kak could go a long way to redressing the balance. You could even feed them, say, half a tin of green and half a tin of yellow and get beautiful variegated varieties. You would have to be a bit careful with some colours, though, 'cos lets face it on grass a green one would effectively be camouflaged, which would make avoidance even more tricky. Perhaps we could add chemicals that reacted to things like chlorophyl levels in the surrounding environment and adapted accordingly - sort of like chameleons or octopuses (pi?), but in reverse? That way, a brown one would turn bright green or something in dirt, but turn red if deposited in grass or on a concrete paving slab. Maybe we should just go for multipurpose striped ones? I know they say 'red and green should never be seen' (try telling that to a parrot!), but it is conspicuous in most environments. Or maybe we could go for nature's universal warning colours and try yellow and black? On the downside, that might scare off natural poop predators (that's not the right word, but I can't think of the right one at the mo) like flies and maggits and lurchers which would be counterproductive.... Nope. I think the original idea - lots of variations contrasting with the original background colour - is the best idea. It would turn something ugly into something beautiful, and lets face it, we all need a bit more of that in our lives Do you remember those sweets you used to buy as a kid? I think they were called 'rainbow drops', and basically they were just brightly coloured rice crispies you ate dry straight from the packet. From a distance a playing field would look just like a lovely green carpet on which a small child had run with a split bag of rainbow drops trailing behind them. It would be.............. Magical Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
millymouse Report post Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) Oh- talking of 'firm but fair' you still don't see much white poo about do you? When little we used to think this was poodle’s poo, but I'm now reliably informed it has to do with the fact that dogs don't get fed bones anymore, and that for 'white' you should actually read 'calcified'. Perhaps, in that case we should add bright food colouring to all dog foods - at least that way they'll stand out more when we're walking along the road, and I guess from a distance it would look like flowers. We could have different 'seasons' of different colours - i.e. with Easter coming up all yellow... The colour, smelliness and firmness of the said poo is all down to what you feed your dog. Most commercial foods are poo (for want of a better word). If you feed them lots of stuff ('fillers' used to bulk out the foods) their body can't digest, then you're going to get runny, coloured stinky poo. If you feed them an all natural diet with a high protein content, then the poo will be less and firmer (due to the body absorbing all the good stuff). As you say, the white poo is due to feeding of bones, which many of us still do, but they are more difficult to get hold of these days. If you want bright coloured dog poo, just feed Bakers (no less than 13 E numbers, I kid you not!) Edited May 9, 2011 by millymouse Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peony Report post Posted May 11, 2011 Just taking the mad labradoodle out...reaches for glitter.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
focusfuture Report post Posted May 12, 2011 Wow, a thread on poo! Just my thing! Two large doggies, and we are doing our best to revive the 1970' white dog poo fashion! (Workmen at my house have stood in wonderment at my back lawn, in a sort of nostalgic bliss!) They eat a lot of raw meaty bones, and they are a joy. Can I just say as a dog owner, I have become obsessed with the quality and consistency of my dogs' doos as when you have to pick up, it's quite important!! Totally with you, Milly mouse on the whole bad food goes straight through! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
