anger management

[hev]

i really feel i dont know what to do,stevens tempers are getting worse,he threw chairs about today,kicking things and i dont understand why,we all overlaid cos katie wasent well in the night so we missed his taxi,i understand he was bored all day and i do feel so sorry for him but he wont come out with me,he dont want to play with other kids so i dont know what to do. i feel sorry for him as i think its such a lonely life for him,he must get so frustrated but when im getting called a slag all day i find it hard not to react then the shouting starts and we are back to square one again.

do CAHMS do anger management for children?maybe i need something as well for me,my mum took him till tomorrow,i was shaking when he left,i think i dont know how to handle it all and maybe i make it worse by reacting the way i do,but i dont know how to react any other way,i always try to see it from his point of view but when he keeps insulting me in the end i shout even though thats the wrong thing to do,any advice please

[bid]

Hi Hev

 

It sounds as though your son was in a terrible panic because his whole daily routine was changed through missing the taxi.

 

I think that often we think our kids are 'angry', when actually their meltdowns are due to panic and stress because something has changed.

 

They very often also have a sort of 'internal' schedule of what they plan to do each day, and if anything makes this change they find it extremely hard to cope with the resulting anxiety. Then this all comes out as a meltdown and we think they're being angry.

 

Sorry, probably haven't been much help, but it can be easier to deal with situations if we have a better idea of what our kids are thinking/feeling?

 

Good luck, and hope Steve is still enjoying his new school.

 

Bid <'>

 

He may also still be adjusting to his new school, which is stressful even if he loves it there.

[Zemanski]

anger management (not ASD specific) did not help Com at all

 

anxiety management with cognitive behaviour therapy (AS specific) is helping

 

Zemanski

[Elanor]

Hev

 

Don't feel too bad about the way you react to this aggression. I know you want to be infintely calm and patient, but you are only human and must make allowances for yourself. I still find my son's anger intolerable - I think I'm hyper-sensitive to it now. It is much much less bad than it used to be - and only part of that is attributable to the medicine he takes.

 

Having to sit there and take violence, anger and insults almost goes against human nature - and it creates the most horrible stress and upset. You have a right to feel upset - don't be too hard on yourself. At the same time, you know that you cannot react in a normal way to this treatment - which just makes things harder.

 

Can you go back to CAMHS - perhaps ask for an emergency appointment or cancellation? Clearly your son is in crisis, and it is part of their job to help.

 

Elanor

[blue]

Aw Hev!

 

I understand how it can be very distressing for you........insults do hurt and it's only natural for you to react.

 

My son say's he hates me often and I found it one of the hardest things to deal with the best way for him.

 

I just desensitized( spelt wrong) myself to it........I just look at it as a word...like any other word....and I walk away, giving no reaction til he calms down. He too throws things and trashes his room, and this is normally when something changes or we wont spend the day how he wants the day to go.

 

I would talk to CAMHS and see if they can give you any coping stragerdies (spelt wrong I bet).

 

Hope you and your son work it out!

 

Cheers

 

Lisa

[BLOODUK]

I think i need anger management, especially with road rage and an explosive

inside temper its against objects though never people.... computer case has a dent

i broke my old cupboard doors.

 

The sadness and depression the anger sometimes tears me from inside