Question about initial chat to GP - would appreciate feedback!

[SjB1]

Hi

I strongly suspect my 3 1/2 year old has Aspergers.

 

I mentioned a few things to a GP a while ago who told me to make a log and then bring it back to him when I was ready.

 

What concerns me is my son is very bright and I don't want him to think there's anything wrong with him.

 

How do I talk to the doctor about his flapping, lack of interest in other kids etc without making him feel bad about himself, like theres a problem.

 

How have people overcome this? Or has anyone had the first doctor chat without their child being present? Not sure if this is possible or if the doc would want to see him.

 

Thanks.

[flash]

had first DR chat when my DS was 8. i too was concerned at him hearing what i had to say. I told him beforhand why we were going and said very clearly that it was to get help for him. Dr was really good did talk to him briefly but Ds was more concerned with exploring the room and Dr got a bit anxious when Ds got too inquisative with his medical equipment.lol.

I think at 31/2 your child will probably not fully understand what is going on anyway, and lets face it it needs doing and beleive me the first Dr chat was no way as hard as some of the meetings we had with camhs with ds present.

good luck x

[SjB1]

Thanks for reply. You say your son was 8. Do you wish he had been diagnosed sooner? I never know whether im doing the right thing going to the doctor. Hes not having any probs at nursery but i think there maybe could be problems when hes actually at school.

When did your child start having problems? Did you know long before they were diagnosed?

Thanks.

[coolbreeze]

Hi SJB1 my daughter has just been diagnosed (8 yrs). It was between 2-3 when I first thought there were differences. Though I often asked school in Reception and year 1 they said she was fine. Then when she started in yr 2 the teacher called me in after 2 weeks of term saying she had concerns. The health visitor came for a school visit and she was referred. It's natural to question whether you are doing the right thing, I still do everyday.

I really don't want this diagnosis but know to allow others to understand and help my daughter I have to accept it.

 

BTW she was too interested in the toys and yes the interesting looking medical equipment to listen into what was said at the initial appointment.

[SjB1]

Thanks so much. Its hard when you as the mum know theres differences but have to wait so many years to actually know!

Were the concerns with education, social issues or behaviour out of interest? Just wondered where the reception and year 1 teachers didnt notice anything.

Thanks.

[bid]

Over the years, I have had appointments to discuss various of my children with the GP without them there in the first instance.

 

Bid

[SjB1]

Thanks for that i will go wiyhout him.

[coolbreeze]

Thanks so much. Its hard when you as the mum know theres differences but have to wait so many years to actually know!

Were the concerns with education, social issues or behaviour out of interest? Just wondered where the reception and year 1 teachers didnt notice anything.

Thanks.

Hi

Lack of concentration & eye contact, appearing to be elsewhere when she spoke on a one to one basis, not being tuned in. Off doing her own little thing when say the class were listening to story, and not realising it was inappropriate. I think some teachers are more in tune, sadly this teacher has left. I also think classrooms are more busy with less sit down activities when they start school, children blend into the melee a bit more. The gap in emotional development progression compared to peers has widened. Academically she is bright but this is hindered by difficulties in other areas and lack of understanding sadly by the school (new head mainly who is the SENCO !) .

 

Yes it does take time but the professionals have to make a decision and they need to monitor development over time to ensure it's not just a phase.

Good luck <'>

[dekra]

I first approached our GP in April this year when my son was 3 yrs 8 months old, the GP was sceptical to say the least he told me he "wasn't convinced" but that he would make the referal anyway. I had no concerns discussing it front of the dr as although F is very bright in some areas (numbers, computers etc) he doesn't have the understanding of complex conversations such as that. His speech delay is more than just an inability to say words, his whole language comprehension is significantly behind a child of the same age. A couple of weeks later we were back at the same GP as F's toilet training had deteriorated and GP examined him and was asking him if it was sore pressing his tummy. F said yes although he was NOT in pain, he didn't understand the question but understood it was a question that required an answer so he choose to answer in the positive. I think the GP got a better understanding then of the everyday things F is incapable of and he mentioned the referal again in a more positive manner. Sometimes when you talk about the things you go through they seem small and insignificant or things that anyone with a child of similar age might encounter. But you add the things up and the frequency they occur and it's a different picture. If your GP is less than helpful still insist on a referal for EXPERT review.

[raquelornot]

Hi SJB1,

 

How's it going?

 

It might be worth talking to the staff at your son's nursery about it.

 

I just found out about Aspergers and it feels like a things are starting to click into place re my 5 year old boy.

His preschool wrote him an ILP (learning plan) but said these were very common so I didn't think about it much.

However they did occasionally say tell me things that sounded a bit odd. Like he wasn't sure how to play with toys properly, he wouldn't sit down for circle time, etc. I was even told that he "didn't get out enough" due to him not being as agile as others. Nobody mentioned "the spectrum" or "learning problems or "special needs" but last week I got a asked to sign a referral to psychologist from his reception class teacher - very much out of the blue.

 

I'm pretty nervous about my son getting labelled. But also worried cos his teacher pointed out there's no teaching assistant next year, so she must envision possible problems. And I guess it's the least of two evils...

 

If you have a proper chat with his teachers they might be able to help - or at least you may prevent some misconceptions.

 

xx