sleep patterns!!!

[jlogan1]

hi i have a dd of 15 diagnosed with aspergers a year ago,a 14 year old son being assessed and also a 11 daughter also being assessed for the same,whilst managing to cope with all this social work are involved because the older 2 dont go to school,my dd never managed secondary and hasnt been to school for 3 1/2 years and my son has been out of school for 1 1/2 years ,they just cant cope with the social side and cant be around other people so spend most of their time at home!!! getting to the point(sorry rather long story!)my son has no friends and the only contact he has is with youngsters on his xbox however most of them are in america,leading to the problem of time difference so he stays up late at night just so he has someone to talk to.i can deal with this most of the time as it is the only social contact he has all be it not face to face,it is better than him talking to no-one!!!( please bear in mind eldest daughter also has weird sleep pattern that goes round in a circle ever month where she gradually changes her sleep from day to night and back again)but what has really insenced me is the social worker has mailed me to say we should cut the internet connection to his xbox at 10pm every night and he also has a love of reptiles and has many in his bedroom,social work have suggested we take them all out of his room(where we are supposed to put them who knows?)so impossible.

he has just started seeing a teacher twice a week for 1/2 at a time and gets to this so i just feel social should back off and leave us alone,basically if he has an appointment he gets to it,so when he sleeps is rather irrelavant.

everywhere i read that people with aspergers have sleep problems but why are social work ignoring it?yes in the real world it would be great to have him sleep at night but he obviously has a problem and surely if this is the only contact he has it shouldnt be taken away from him?

has anyone else had any of these problems would be nice to hear?

regards julia( who has just about had enough of social workers!!!)

[justine1]

Hi

 

All four of my boys have sleep issues. My eldest son is 11 NT and he has a problem getting off to sleep so he goes to bed slightly later than I would like,but bedtime is bedtime! He is restless and I can hear him getting up to use the toilet every hour not because he needs to but because he is unable to sleep. Sam (AS 8)can drop off to sleep quite quick but gets tired during the day but I don't let him nap because it does affect his sleep at night,he wakes a few times in the night but he drifts back to sleep quickly when he does wake he talks to himself a little.

Dan(HFA 5) has been the worst in a way he wakes up and finds it hard to sleep,he also cries and wants to have a conversation in the early hours. Elijah is 3 NT and he wakes usually twice,but I now leave him if the second time is after 5am just take him downstairs for breakfast. He sometimes takes an hour to fall back to sleep sometimes 10min just depends on him.

 

What I have to stress is that with all four boys I have a routine,they have a bedtime and after the lights are off they don't go back on! Once they are in bed they don't get out unless they need the loo. Most importantly they do not have any stimulation,no telly no games after their bedtime! This can only make things worse and create an unhealthy sleep pattern. They get very little sleep as it is because of the fact that they all restless and they all have to be up at 6.45am to get ready for school,so I would not want to encourage furthur sleep deprivation.

 

While I understand your son does not go to school I think he should still have a "cut off" time,not necessarily a strict bedtime but a time whereby you say everything goes off at,IMO nothing should be on after midnight. Also create a routine during the day so that his day is full,while I understand the social side I think you should try and get him to go out daily for a walk,prehaps when others are in school that way he won't bump into anyone. If he has some structure with work and play balance it may help him with the sleep. You could also try melatonin to help him sleep,but I would get the routine down first before turning to anything else.

 

I keep routine and insist on the sleeping issues because I have to prepare them for adulthood.I have to think how will they function as adults? All the behaviour they learn now will follow them through life and I don't want that. I want them to be able to work and they can't do that if they have odd sleeping pattern.

 

I to have had sleep problems and still do though to a lesser degree,four boys wear me out! Because of this I have always(for 7 years) worked night shift as I can function on 4-5 hours sleep and I have usually broken that sleep down to two hours at night(on a break at work) and 2-3 hours when the kids have been at school or nursery.However I have learnt how to manage my sleep and took me at least 10 years to understand and adjust to it.

 

So I do understand where the social workers are coming from (not sure about the reptiles though ) however would say you should decide the "cut off" time as you know how your home runs. I would say don't leave him on the console if you going to bed as then he could be on it all night.I would also be wary of the chat as I have heard stories about the chat on the consoles having similar dangers to that of the internet.

[lindy2017]

hi i have a dd of 15 diagnosed with aspergers a year ago,a 14 year old son being assessed and also a 11 daughter also being assessed for the same,whilst managing to cope with all this social work are involved because the older 2 dont go to school,my dd never managed secondary and hasnt been to school for 3 1/2 years and my son has been out of school for 1 1/2 years ,they just cant cope with the social side and cant be around other people so spend most of their time at home!!! getting to the point(sorry rather long story!)my son has no friends and the only contact he has is with youngsters on his xbox however most of them are in america,leading to the problem of time difference so he stays up late at night just so he has someone to talk to.i can deal with this most of the time as it is the only social contact he has all be it not face to face,it is better than him talking to no-one!!!( please bear in mind eldest daughter also has weird sleep pattern that goes round in a circle ever month where she gradually changes her sleep from day to night and back again)but what has really insenced me is the social worker has mailed me to say we should cut the internet connection to his xbox at 10pm every night and he also has a love of reptiles and has many in his bedroom,social work have suggested we take them all out of his room(where we are supposed to put them who knows?)so impossible.

he has just started seeing a teacher twice a week for 1/2 at a time and gets to this so i just feel social should back off and leave us alone,basically if he has an appointment he gets to it,so when he sleeps is rather irrelavant.

everywhere i read that people with aspergers have sleep problems but why are social work ignoring it?yes in the real world it would be great to have him sleep at night but he obviously has a problem and surely if this is the only contact he has it shouldnt be taken away from him?

has anyone else had any of these problems would be nice to hear?

regards julia( who has just about had enough of social workers!!!)

Hi, My youngest of 4 has not long been dx with asperges he would like to stay up later so he can fall alseep quicker if not he fidgets.....he also has had a friend in the past who lives in america he wanted to stay up later to speak with him he doesnt speak to him so much now his obsession is the pc ...he hasnt been in school since april 2010 he has hoem tutor and they go to nurture unit twice a week for 5 hours....he doesnt really like it he hasnt got friends jsut the ones online....we dont have social workers just a mental ealth nurse who is attached to CAMHS....

lindy

[bid]

Hi jlogan,

 

I agree with Justine. It's important to equip our children as much as we can for adult life, and a clear daily/night-time routine is central to this in my opinion.

 

My son who has AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia is an adult now, who lives independently. Although by inclination he is a nocturnal sort of person, he always had clear routines at home, and we maintained a largely 'normal' pattern of waking and sleeping. As an adult he has chosen to work mainly late shifts, which I think fits in with his prefered lifestyle. But he is still perfectly able to work early shifts when necessary, etc.

 

It really is so important to remember that, however 'unfair' we may feel it to be, we have to equip our children to be able to function as independently as possible in the 'normal' world...as adults they can't exclusively inhabit an 'autistic' world if we want them to have any degree of independence.

 

I would think that the SW is suggesting removing the reptiles from your son's room to make it as low-stimulation as possible?

 

Bid