Greetings!

[ASD-DAD]

Have dipped in this forum now and then over the years, especially when our son was going through diagnosis of ASD / ASpergers

and we had lots of troubles at mainstream school with challenging behaviour and meltdowns etc. Now we have him in a specialist Rudolph Steiner placement

and he's in a better place, but still has his underlying problems which are always there.

 

Anyway, i started a bit of a light hearted blog the other day, which won't always be ASD related but some of you might relate to.

www.forty-not-out.blogspt.com

[darkshine]

Hey

 

Your link didn't work (think missing 'o' from the word 'spot' is the issue)

 

Is this it?

 

Blog Link

 

Best

 

Darkshine

[ASD-DAD]

Yes ! Thanks for that :-)

[Sally44]

Read your blog.

Yes, we've had things quite similar.

We had a major meltdown in a supermarket cafe because they had decided to change the names of their food overnight. This totally confused my son, who no longer understood what the food would be like. And I wish I had had some masking tape to cover the assistants mouth. Apparently chicken nuggets had changed to "chicken chunks", and fish fingers had changed to "fish nuggets".

 

And he can also be quite precise about what is/isn't on his plate.

 

However, that status quo is really difficult for everyone, and for the child too as they get older. So I would suggest that at home, and in school, they work on things being "similar" and "different".

 

My son has come a long way and can now accept changes in food alot better, especially when it is explained what it is "similar" to, and that we only want him to try it, and if it is too different [because sometimes they change the ingredients/taste too], then we say it is okay to leave it. That rarely happens.

 

Even on the day he was distraught in the cafe. I made him try it, and he admitted himself that it tasted okay and he even said "I don't know why I got so upset about it". But they do get that upset, because it is an immediate panic stations state, which isn't good for anyone.

 

He will now also accept "remedies" to things being wrong ie. scrapping certain food off his plate, changing staw colours etc.

 

I don't want to sound patronising, if you are already doing these things. But if you aren't, I would recommend you talk with him and have a go about these issues, because they often can be improved, and the current situation is not good for him or you.

 

Blurting out inappropriate things we are still working on. I think there are just too many possibile things to say, that you cannot cover it all. He's commented on the amount of spots a teenager had on his face ..... people with amputations ...... overweight and disabled people. We explain every time about how those words would sound to someone hearing them. And he understands it would make them sad. And then that upsets him. But on the next occasion, it is something different, so the lesson learnt is not generalised. But we keep going anyway.

[Linnet]

Having read the blog and Sally44's response, I have some potentially bad news for both of you - things probably won't improve as your children get older. I'm 47 and my food issues have got worse especially in connection wuth having different foods on one plate. I can't eat anything that has touched something else and won't eat anything with sauce on at all. I also freak out if the name of food has changed or it looks slightly different. My husband has a terrible time when we occasionally eat out - we usually end up having a take away! My dad lived to be 67 and he always had his food on seperate plates so I don't suppose there's any hope for me.

 

L x

[darkshine]

Yes ! Thanks for that :-)

Your welcome

[ASD-DAD]

thanks for your responses.

Yeah, we are seriously working on a lot of things.

(The blog is intended to be a bit tongue in cheek too, I'm not diluting the seriousness of these situations - just trying to highlight there can be a time to look back on these events, and they (like may Autistic responses) can have a comic value sometimes too)

 

Have you read The Curious Incident of The Dog In the Nightime ?

[darkshine]

I did a long time ago... good book - can't remember very much about it though

[Tally]

Having read the blog and Sally44's response, I have some potentially bad news for both of you - things probably won't improve as your children get older. I'm 47 and my food issues have got worse especially in connection wuth having different foods on one plate. I can't eat anything that has touched something else and won't eat anything with sauce on at all. I also freak out if the name of food has changed or it looks slightly different. My husband has a terrible time when we occasionally eat out - we usually end up having a take away! My dad lived to be 67 and he always had his food on seperate plates so I don't suppose there's any hope for me.

 

L x

I think it's fairly unusual for food issues to get worse like that. I've become a lot more flexible with food as I've got older. I think that part of the solution has been preparing my own food. If I'm in control of how and what ends up on my plate, I'm much more open to trying new foods. This is why I think that getting children involved in growing (if possible), buying and preparing food can help with broadening diet.

[Lynden]

We've tried getting L involved with cooking but he's tactile defensive so won't touch half of it, and wont touch anything at all if he doesn't like the smell lol. Eating is one of our major issues, not only is he fussy about what he eats but if anyone touches his food, looks at him, or comments on what he's eating (ie well done for eating your fish L) he will stop and not eat anymore. If he's anxious he wont eat. It's all about control but unfortunately the one thing we can't do is force him to eat. And, if a child doesn't recognise hunger, not feeding him the things he likes isn't an option because he just wont eat (we've tried and he almost ended up very poorly).

 

I sometimes worry about it but we're at the point now where we just know he needs the calories. We keep trying him with new/different things in the hope that one day he'll decide food is good

 

Lynne

[darkshine]

I think it's fairly unusual for food issues to get worse like that. I've become a lot more flexible with food as I've got older. I think that part of the solution has been preparing my own food. If I'm in control of how and what ends up on my plate, I'm much more open to trying new foods. This is why I think that getting children involved in growing (if possible), buying and preparing food can help with broadening diet.

I've gotten better with food than I used to be, and control is a big issue for me too, but much less than when I was little or a teenager, I think it had to be my decision to try and get over it. Having said that my diet is still quite limited, foods do not touch, they must have certain appearances, touch/texture, be exactly "right" and be cooked precisely and there are certain foods where I only eat an exact part and I perform virtual surgery on my plate and then remove the unwanted part before I can eat my meal.

 

It's worst when I think about it, if I think about it I feel sick, I can't stand having things in my mouth, and if I think about eating while I'm eating or pay attention to chewing or any little thing, then my throat closes and I can't eat any more even if I'm hungry - even if its junk food - think about it too much and it all becomes a bigger issue and my health suffers

[RainbowsButterflies]

Hi and welcome

[lindy2017]

Have dipped in this forum now and then over the years, especially when our son was going through diagnosis of ASD / ASpergers

and we had lots of troubles at mainstream school with challenging behaviour and meltdowns etc. Now we have him in a specialist Rudolph Steiner placement

and he's in a better place, but still has his underlying problems which are always there.

 

Anyway, i started a bit of a light hearted blog the other day, which won't always be ASD related but some of you might relate to.

www.forty-not-out.blogspt.com

Hi, Love the blogs i can identify with them my son 12 year dx aspergers 2 months ago my old 3 children have traits as well....its so good knowing im not the only one goign through the crazy life routine every day........lol.....lindy

[lindy2017]

We've tried getting L involved with cooking but he's tactile defensive so won't touch half of it, and wont touch anything at all if he doesn't like the smell lol. Eating is one of our major issues, not only is he fussy about what he eats but if anyone touches his food, looks at him, or comments on what he's eating (ie well done for eating your fish L) he will stop and not eat anymore. If he's anxious he wont eat. It's all about control but unfortunately the one thing we can't do is force him to eat. And, if a child doesn't recognise hunger, not feeding him the things he likes isn't an option because he just wont eat (we've tried and he almost ended up very poorly).

 

I sometimes worry about it but we're at the point now where we just know he needs the calories. We keep trying him with new/different things in the hope that one day he'll decide food is good

 

Lynne

Hi, I have same problems with my son he could something for ages and then one day if it doesnt loook right or taste the same he says thats disgusting dont want it again.....its so ahrd trying to think up new stuff ....apart from toast and marmite chicken nuggets etc........i feel guilty because we eat normal cook from fresh make my own soups etc ......i have hope my eldest now 33 did the same when he was growing up now he eats healthy and experiments......lindy

[ASD-DAD]

I recognise almost all you folks are saying too. My boy, goes through phases of eating the same food over and over

and then won't touch them again. He currently won't even eat chips. Not that i'm advocating them as a good dietry option ! lol

 

He is a bit underweight and we also feel desperate trying to ensure he eats enough and also the right things.

But at the end of the day as long as he eats something, we are happier.

[darkshine]

The quickest way to put me off a food I sort of like - is to buy it in bulk - and then just seeing so many of it will inevitably put me right off it - so annoying

[Lynden]

I recognise almost all you folks are saying too. My boy, goes through phases of eating the same food over and over

and then won't touch them again. He currently won't even eat chips. Not that i'm advocating them as a good dietry option ! lol

 

He is a bit underweight and we also feel desperate trying to ensure he eats enough and also the right things.

But at the end of the day as long as he eats something, we are happier.

 

Snap! L does get prescribed calcium supplements and vitamins daily though so at least we know he's getting his essentials and that puts my mind at ease a little bit.

 

Welcome btw - I don't think I said that!

 

Lynne

[ASD-DAD]

thanks !

[butterfly73]

hi,

 

imo giving clear choices works, also for self esteem.. I used to be horrible with food too, overall morover texture than taste.. Now it is my strength, I love cooking and eating

Stress/anxiety is the main issue..

 

Putting yourself in his shoes..Imagine..

getting stuck in a country were you don't get the language nor habits, say..Vietnam

People care about you and wanna help, though your head is somewhere else and anxious.. (in your case for you don't know where the rest of the family is) in his case just the basic feeling, unfortunately

Temple Grandin said, fear is my main emotion..

Ok.. You're being helped.. People hand you food, you're apprehensive.. What is it, will it harm me?!

You might be less anxious if you helped preparing it ;-)

 

You get a bowl of white liquid, your urge is too examine.. smell, prod, etc.. finally tasting it..

It's plain yoghurt.. So you eat the smooth, cold, sour stuff..

In the fifth spoon you sense a lump.. What to you do?!..

Exactly.. you'd spit it out!

 

The next meal there is one bowl with white liquid and one with yellow chunks, what it is you can not make out..

What would you choose?

 

What if every day you were picked up from your room, and would eat in the 3rd door on the right..

How would you feel if they took you to the left, all cheerful and such..

What is going on..?!

 

Don't take these lines too literally, it gives a gist of what kind of stress level people with AS experience!

Might put the need to control the situation, frustration, etc in perspective..

 

Love B'fly

[trekster]

There's a book called 'cant eat wont eat' about selective eating (different to starving) with tips for dealing with this aspect of autism.

My diet broadened after i went gluten and milk free. 5 years later i could eat garden peas and no longer gag at malt vinegar or coffee smells.

[butterfly73]

I recently learned a very simple tactic/technic.. to test what to eat!

Stand, with your feet at hip width..

When for instance making a sandwich, go past every option, and then feel how your body reacts / shifts..

 

I noticed: There is/can be a big difference in what your mind wants and what your body wants!!

 

I prefer sandwiches with cheese, grilled or just plain.. Not much into jam, syrup or other sweet stuff..

I liked meat also..

Recently my body choose not to accept meat anymore! Fine by me, for I lóve to cook and I love the challange (which proved to be smaller than expected)

Thus ham, sausage etc is out now.. Still left with (sandwich) spreads, peanut butter, cheese, etc..

Last week I tried above mentioned technic.. going over the stuff in the cupboard, i suddenly felt my body shifting/leaning forward.. when I'd mentioned syrup..

I've never ever used syrop on a sandwich, first of all for I'm not much of a sweet tooth.. My body probably needed the iron?! LOL!!

 

How does it work: deep inside the choice hás already been made.. the body knows more than you think/perceive..

When a choice has been made, the body becomes active, anticipates.. thus leans forward..

You can use this in all kinds of choices ;-)

When you doubt a reaction.. you could also include a new option: something else..