Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 24, 2012 I do not like change, there is a lot of change happening at home and after that be massive change. May 11th- Project worker is leaving June 1st - House Manager leaving They don't know who they are going to replace, the manager or project worker. Ideally it sounds like there going to replace the project worker but then no one in the day time i will panic because thats routine knowing someone there in the day keeps things stable but if thats taken away they wont want to see me on those days. They don't know if there cutting back on support or going to give us more money. Apparently there is a big meeting with my house manager soon about it all and im anxious about it. I have been having meltdowns because of it: -Kick wall -Throw pillow -- Hit pillow at head - Hum away Today i screamed, and threw my keys My question is how do you deal with change to help become easier. Please can you write clear and simple as i may not understand whats been said and can interpret things the wrong way Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted April 25, 2012 Hi sorry to hear how anxious you are feeling at the moment. It is not easy to have to go through changes when you like things as they are, my son is just the same. I think it is best to chat to your house manager to see if he/she can give you a clearer idea as to what may happen for the future. Are there any young people like yourself there that you can talk to? Do you know when the meeting is going to take place? Try not to worry too much I am sure whatever happens thay will make sure you and others there are looked after. Let me know if you speak to the house manager, in the meantime try and carry enjoying doing things as you was before, try and not do so much thinking as too much thinking will make you so anxious hence you becoming agitated. Take care and please P.M. me anytime. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LancsLad Report post Posted April 25, 2012 By doing what you are at the moment, recognise that it is change and there are reasons for feeling this way. This is a good first step. I hate changes as well. I think a real issue can be that we start to try and protect ourselves and because we like to be in control we start to work through scenarios of what might happen in our heads and this kind of thinking can start to take over. I know when change is happening I tend to try and work out what is the worst thing that could happen so I am prepared for it should that be the case. Thoughts might be, what if the new project manager does not like me, what if they come in and change all the daily routines? These sorts of things simply lead to a lot of anxiety. I think you need to try and live on a day to day basis Special-Talent and try not to focus on what might happen in the future. Things will change and it might be the case that the new people who arrive will be really nice and you will like them a lot. The problem is there is nothing you can really do to make that happen, you can not control things, it will be somebody's job to choose them and to sort things out. Jeanne makes a good point to ask people what is happening and tell them how you are feeling, they might be able to answer and put your mind at rest, they might simply not know. People get anxious about change all the time and we can pick up these emotions from them, you will not be the only person who feels like this. Try to take it one day at a time and do what you would normally do, but I know that is not easy sometimes. Best wishes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 25, 2012 JeanneA yes thats who i been speaking to the house manager she told me all these things. she doesnt even know when the big meeting is either Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) but Lancs It is changing not in the future but now and its causing a lot of anxiety. I do however find out that they want our opinions on what we need staff for and stuff. I live on a day to day Edited April 25, 2012 by Special_talent123 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted April 25, 2012 Hi yes your opinions/feelings are very important and you must get them across they need to know how you are feeling. It is not nice to feel so anxious as you are obviously every day, this needs to be sorted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LancsLad Report post Posted April 25, 2012 Special-Talent I appreciate things are changing now. It is good in many ways that people are asking your opinions, it shows they respect you, they are important and I can understand this will lead to things coming in to your head, did I say the right thing, will they listen to me and stuff like that. I think you need to accept things are not very stable in one part of your life, and I do appreciate that is a very large part, but find things which are stable to focus on. I can remember having a boss who I got on with really well at work and unfortunatly the guy had a heart attack and had to retire within the week on doctors orders. I then found out that I knew of one of the individuals who had applied for the job and worked out in my head that should he get it there was a whole range of reasons why we might not get on. This thinking was not very healthy for me and was completely irrelevant. When he did get the job and many thought he was best placed to get it my problems started, within 6 months I had left for another workplace and felt pushed out. Who pushed me out, myself. In hindsight this was a period in which I could have relaxed, there was no real pressure for a few months no one to prove myself to, I know other staff felt this way it was like a bit of a holiday. I should have focused on other things in my life, playing computer games, walking the dogs, reading absoloutly anything I enjoyed as a means of distraction. Instead I let a worm get into my head and it did a lot of damage. Special try to focus on the things in your life you really enjoy as simply a distraction. Some people find the prospect of change excitting and want to be fully engaged in it. For others it is better that we are not really there in mind and spirit, let things run their course and take a look at what is there when we are on the other side and make our judgements then. Sometimes people want to drag us into these things without knowing how problematic it is for us. A big issue in my real life example was I knew the guy and a lot of people wanted to know what I thought of him. I felt I was in no position to say to be honest and felt it was a no win scenario in this respect. Sometimes we have to say it is not really up to me you decide and back away for our own good. Just a few thoughts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 25, 2012 house manager says that hope that my move to bristol, would be in with all the changes at my place im at now so i can feel settled Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted April 25, 2012 try not to worry too much special t. rember dolphins will always swim in the sea, that woulnt change. (unless we,re visited by a far away planet that has land dolphins ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted April 25, 2012 I am terrible at changes. I react just like you and worse! I deal with it by thinking during my calm moments. I try to see where I can regain healthy control of the situation. Little things... like voicing your opinion Or looking after yourself Coming on this forum and ranting if you need to Asking for advice.... Things like that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 25, 2012 she says the meeting is on friday now im really anxious even more. it seems that the house manager from miles away will be coming in once or twice a week, there talking about finding someone else support worker but then talking about having a specialist support worker who are in charge of the support workers. They are discussing hours and stuff. They are going to find out if our house manager can be a bank worker so they can train all the staff of how to work with me and stuff until i feel comfortable Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted April 25, 2012 Hi at least you know when the meeting is now and that it is only a couple of days away so thats good. Will you be at the meeting? If so you must get your views across if you have concerns you must make them aware on them. I am sure it will all work out they are obviously aware by what you have said that they need to train staff of how to work with you so that sounds good to me. Let us know the outcome of the meeting and try not to worry in the meantime, keep yourself busy that is the best the busier you are the less time you have to think! take care :=) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted April 25, 2012 nope because its only the managers meeting with social services Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted April 27, 2012 How did the meeting go? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
