Target to not say "No" to teacher

[claire22]

Hi, this is my first post. My son is 6, ASD with significant language delay and is in a "Special support centre" for children with MLD which is within a mainstream primary. In his IEP one of his targets is to be more assertive with his peers. It has been noted as a positive in his end of year report that he has begun to say "No" to his classmates if thay try to take his toy. He also says "No" to lots of requests at home but does not refuse in any other way. I think saying No is his only way of expressing his feelings when his language is limited. It is also a target on his Statement to begin to express his feeling to those around him. In the same report a target has been set for him to stop saying no to requests. How do I explan to him that it is OK to say no to other children but not to teachers?

[bid]

Welcome to the forum, Claire

 

This is a tricky one...have you thought about using Social Stories to explain the situations where it's ok to say 'no' and the situations where it's not a good idea?

 

Bid

Edited July 12, 2005 by bid

[Zemanski]

If your child is at the early stages of language development then he will be doing just what a toddler does - exploring how to use language to control his environment and the simplest and most effective word for that is 'NO!'

 

all todders go through the 'NO!' phase

 

your son has to as well, it is definitely a sign that his understanding of the use of language is developing

 

the problem is simply that a classroom is not the best place for it.

 

if you try to stop him it may slow his development - you probably need to help him move on by giving him other things to say and teaching him other ways to control his environment (you need a positive target rather than a negative one - I really don't think this is a good IEP target for a child who struggles to express himself)

 

could you discuss the problem with the SALT? - she/he probably has strategies for helping children move on from this bearing in mind that you dont want to rush him through a very important phase

 

Zemanski

Edited July 13, 2005 by Zemanski

[Kazzen161]

So if the Teacher says "jump off that cliff" your son is not allowed to say no? If he is a typical Aspie, he will replace the "no" with something a little less polite!!

 

Why can the Teacher not ask him to do things - just say "Now it is time to ....." or "Do you want to do x or do you want to do y?", etc.

 

I don't like that target eg: in terms of child safety, there are occasions when it is appropriate to say no to an adult.

 

Altogether, some ambitious targets for a 6 year old.

 

Karen

[claire22]

Thanks for the posts. I think the targets are too confusing for Alfie but I was interested what other people thought. I have yet another meeting tomorrow at his school in which I will try to get him the support he needs and for them to understand that his behaviour is more than just stubbornness. Its like smashing your head against a wall, I've been asking for a home school diary since he started 18 months ago but I'm told they don't have time to fill it in and that all children dislike telling their parents what they did at school!!!

[call me jaded]

I think you need to point out to them how conflicting the two targets are. Is a SLT is going to be there? To be honest the not saying no doesn't sound like a target any SLT would condone at this stage. And anyway, what is the educational value of this target? It sounds like something an irritated teacher has put in.

 

Sorry, no help, just a rant on your behalf.

[Jericho]

The targets are poor because they are not quantifiable. How, for example, do you measure "be more assertive"? I also agree with the point that for child safety reasons it's unwise to teach him not to say no to an adult. Instead of telling him what NOT to say then perhaps they should be teaching him what he SHOULD say/communicate if he is unhappy about something.