A-S warrior Report post Posted June 17, 2012 this is for entertainment to let off steam from my living with series. how to tell you,ve been hit with cupids arrow, you dream about your crush most nights and wake up kissing the pillow you talk endlessly about how much you dislike her/him to cover up the deep down truth. you listen to girly music and read cosmo magazine to get infomation about women, or read mens health for info on men. you do endless google searches on "how to tell if a woman/man likes me" you keep immagioning moving into a small house, with a white picket fence and children running around in the garden. all of a sudden your feeling social and start arranging nights out in the hope she/he will tag along. you cant think about anything else but her/him. how to tell when you,ve just wasted alot of money on something, you keep trying to convince yourself it was a good purchase! you count your money out and say hey! i can still buy that inflatable sunbed i wanted, and you try and fill your head with false satisfaction. you keep looking at said product and try and think up some smart ways to use it, you say, "hey i can use this £1789 ice scuplture next week at my dinner party im going to host! i can invite that girl i like too!" you eventully summit and put your head in your hands and say, "what have i done?!" how you know you,ve completley botched a job interview, there are several long pauses in the interview, and you keep saying ermmmmm, ermmmmmmmm ermmmmmmmmmmmm. the interviewer looks confused and amazed, when you have this look you might as well call him a **** and walk out. they say, your in the top 4 candidates (total bs) and we will contact you in due course (again bs) when you get the "what are you going to be doing in 5 years time question" and you reply with "doing your wife" when the interviewers stare at each other and then look down at there paper work and say "we will be in touch" how to tell your completely smashed out of your face, you keep buying strangers drinks you get into a deep convosation with a girl in a pink panther outfit. you all of a sudden notice theres 50 quid missing in your wallet. everything sounds mumbled and your vision is cloudy. alchool starts to taste good. how to tell you,ve brought a present the person hates, they stare at the present for 5 or so seconds and then quietly say thankyou. they put the present somewere really hidden like there bedroom and feel really uncomfatable about talking about it. whenever you go round there house you never see the grow your own loofer kit on display. when you ask how have you got on with it? they say "ive just been to busy" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 17, 2012 Do more!! That really made me laugh! I agree with most of what you said - but its the way you said it that was sheer brilliance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted June 17, 2012 Do more!! That really made me laugh! I agree with most of what you said - but its the way you said it that was sheer brilliance more comming darkshine lol glad you liked it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 18, 2012 (edited) How about: how to tell you've got obsessed with an interest how to tell when someone hates/likes you how to tell when you've been playing a game just a little too long If I was gonna write one I'd go with: How to tell when you've listened to that song too many times 1.When you play it more than 20 times a day. 2. When you actually set up the 'loop' button and let it repeat over and over. 3. When you are walking down the street and you hear it in your head as a personal soundtrack. 4. When everyone you live with texts/calls to say they now have the soundtrack in their head too. 5. When they call/text again another day to say they keeep humming or whistling it and everyone thinks they are weird. 6. When someone tells you that if they hear that song one more time they will throw your pc down the stairs. Edited June 18, 2012 by darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robert7111a Report post Posted June 18, 2012 and how about: How do I justify my next lens purchase to my wife? (cuz lenses are expensive) When do I say enough is enough and stop taking pictures for the day? And what is the answer to "how long is a piece of string"? Why does tomorrow never come? What is the longest word in the dictionary? How can you tell when you've realised you've done well chatting up a girl who then turns out to be a bloke? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 18, 2012 (edited) Some good ones there! Can I have a go at one? Sod it - I'm having a go at one How do I justify my next lens purchase to my wife? (cuz lenses are expensive) 1. You pretend you broke a lens and must replace it 2. You try buttering her up before hand with some thoughtful stuff that you know she'd like and then drop the idea in (she totally won't realise what you did - honest - really - she won't - do I sound convincing enough?) 3. You make it sound like a real bargain - such a good bargain that you would be stupid to not get it 4. You explain how the lens is really for both of your lives - and explain how it will improve your work and therefore giving her some cash to treat herself 5. You "accidentally" press the buy button online and then try not to look guilty when you claim it was an accident (massive fail on that one if I tried that) 6. You buy it anyway by leeching cash over some weeks then hide it in your wardrobe and then get it out one day - she says "I haven't seen that before is it new?" you go "no, it's been in my wardrobe for years, I used it for your sisters wedding (or whatever event) don't you remember?!?" (it is important to sound offended that she didn't know this) Edited June 18, 2012 by darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robert7111a Report post Posted June 18, 2012 Well done for having a go Darkshine but... She wouldn't buy "1", "4" or "6". "2" and "3" I might get away with No. 5 wouldn't work as I can't hide a guilty look easily if I've just bought it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 18, 2012 I guess you could do 2 then 3 in one go - double whammy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robert7111a Report post Posted June 19, 2012 It's been a long time since I had a job interview and I used to know "ummmm" very well Why do I get wierd looks? How can you tell if someone likes/dislikes you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 19, 2012 Something happened to me yesterday but I already wrote about it - and after trying to write where the location for that is I figure it's easier to just steal my own text ""Today I had to go to town for an eye-test and the person I was with had to go do something, so I stood in front of as shop waiting for them to come back (I made sure the window I was standing in front of was the one with the massive display preventing people behind me seeing me). While I was standing there this bloke pulled his bicycle up to a place where people can lock their bikes, and he looked up and saw me looking at him, I looked away straight away, but after about 20 seconds I looked back in his direction (he was about 12-15 foot away) and he was looking at me and I don't know what he was thinking but he looked totally creeped out - like I'd offended him or he thought I was going to attack him or something. All I did was catch his eye, I wasn't staring, I don't know why he kept looking at me with this expression of - well - it didn't look positive!!! Maybe the way we act is the problem - I'd need someone to film me to see what I'm doing as I'm not always aware of what my face looks like "" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robert7111a Report post Posted June 19, 2012 So I'm not the only one then that gets wierd looks... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted June 19, 2012 Obviously not Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted August 21, 2012 you know you,ve got a bad case of schadenfreude when.... some guy collapses in the street and you rush over to nothing but stare you get a very warm feeling inside when you hear ambulance sirens when the police tell you to back off and to get on with your day, you dont listen, in fact you stare more you try and get closer to watch the guy being loaded into the ambulance you stay until the ambulance drives away you get on your phone strait away and tell everybody what you,ve just seen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted August 21, 2012 Is it wrong that I find that really funny? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted August 21, 2012 Is it wrong that I find that really funny? nope, what ive described is human nature. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted August 21, 2012 I sometimes do have a somewhat odd sense of humour so I wasn't sure Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
