Playground problem

[LKS]

My daughter is 8 with a dx of AS, speech aphaysia, epilepsy and MLD. She attends mainstream school and has 25 hours of support per week. In the morning before the whistle goes and all of the children line up L likes to stand slightly back from the crowd. It is an incredibly noisy time lots of parents, children playing football and generally running around. I think L likes that time to sort of psych. herself up for the day. Sometimes her 2 friends come over to say hello and she will speak but generally likes to be left alone. She might talk to me about what she will be doing that day. Sometimes her LSA will meet us especially if she wants to talk to me about anything. At lining up time L participates well and will speak to several children. For some reason this really seems to annoy the school. The SENCO has said to me "you really must encourage L to be more sociable Today the class teacher marched over to us and said come on L come over to your line and meet everyone and have a chat. L just froze. The teacher was tugging on her arm L was clinging to me. I had to tell the CT L will come when she is ready. Teacher was not pleased. I need some advice please. They have never discussed with me that they want L to go over to her line earlier and "socialise", they have never said how they want to do this so that I can talk to L about it. And what is the problem with what she is doing at the moment. When the whistle goes she leaves me sensibly and goes off on her own(which is more than some children do who are permanently attached to their mums) Am I over reacting ,had a bad nights sleep and I'm hot and bothered, but it seems like another case of if you deal with these children in the correct manner they will become normal

[Minxygal]

When Mark was younger we never got him through the school gate until the bell went at 9.00am.

We think that this was because he had learned that he had to go to school but as far as he was concerned school didn't start until the bell went and that was when he had to do all the school things required of him.

When I say he wouldn't go into school I mean that he wouldn't even acknowledge any part of it. If a teacher sopke to him he would look away and he wouldn't interact in any way.

Now he is 15 and as school goes we don't have the morning problem anymore as he has to be taken to school and it's a good distance and it's always 9 by the time we get there, plus this school doesn't have a bell.

We do however STILL have a problem at the end of school as at a quarter past 3 Mark will stop making eye contact with the teachers and take no notice of anything or anyone. I'ts as if he knows that he's done his duty and that's all he has to do.

 

I wish you luck with this. I haven't been helpful but I hope you will see that you're not alone with this one.

[oracle]

I would start by reminding the school that ASD is a 'social' and 'communication' disorder. I would also remind them that this means that busy playground are like a mine field for your daughter who likes to take a moment or two to mentally prepare herself for the day ahead. I am actually full of admiration that your daughter is already handling this so well. So I am sitting here furious that the school are try to take away her coping strategy. I thought that this was what it was all about in mainstream for our children finding coping strategies that work? Well your daughter has one and it works and works well. Would they prefer a meltdown every morning. Would they say to a parent of a child in a wheel chair that they really should try and make them get out of the chair and walk into school? I think not - maybe that is because you can see the problem? Maybe you should also remind them of the disability discrimination act because I feel that by forcing this issue they are treating her less favourably then her peers, because as I have said I do not think they would be having a similar conversation with a parent whose child was in a wheel chair.

 

 

Your daughter is not there to be normalised it's not their job to do that. It is however their job to understand her condition and accomodate for her.Your daughter is more sociable when she feels comfortable why can't they see this? Is there an outreach team you could contact about this or a local support group? They are probably best placed to give you some back up. If not then pm me and I will write you letter from AIM pointing out the sensory issues that will be impacting on your daughter in the playground and why, in our opinion, they should be grateful that your daughter is coping so well.

 

Carole

[Colin_and_Shelagh]

This appears to be a case of disabilty discrimination. The school is required, by law, to make reasonable adjustments. I would remind them of this.

 

Patrick runs around by himself while the other children line up and the school are used to it now. However last year his teacher wanted to make getting into line part of his IEP. We said we didn't think it was appropriate and, to her credit, she accepted it.

 

Colin

[LKS]

Thanks everyone I was just so annoyed this morning. School have actually just phoned me to see if I will go into school tomorrow to discuss the "situation" with them . I think not at the moment as the fact that there is a situation is entirely down to them ! I have phoned the specialist teacher for autism who has been a great support in the past. I don't think she will be too pleased as she has always expected any strategies to be discussed with herself. Why do you think the school have done this?

[Suze]

Am shocked....my son always stands back and goes at the end of the line every morning.I cannot understand why this is such an issue...what is their problem?????....I think if it was me I,d request a meeting before the end of term and find out exactly why they are pushing this issue it is totally unnecessary!

[elainem]

Hi,

 

you have had some excellent advice already, that I can only really echo.

 

I think writing to the school is a great idea - I find I am often more coherent and logical when i can write it down. All becomes a bit emotive if I try and get my message across verbally.

 

SENCO and teacher behaviour is bordering on bullying imo.

 

Elaine

[Jericho]

I'd like to echo Carole's admiration for your daughter's ability to devise her own coping strategy.

 

My son's school (mainstream primary) recognises that all of the younger children need something to ease them into the school day. They allocate a period of 10 minutes each morning for the children and parents to go into the classroom together and quietly share a book or maybe draw a picture. It helps the children to calm down and get into the right mindset to start the school day. Your lovely daughter has obviously found something that SHE feels comfortable with that is designed to have the same effect.

 

I agree with Carole (again! ). The school wouldn't insist on a child in a wheelchair walking into school each morning "because everyone else can manage it just fine".

[LKS]

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments.I'm very proud of the way my daughter has handled herself and unless they can come up with a very valid reason for changing this we will stick to the way things are. Carole what is an addy

[phasmid]

Hi LKS,

 

advice from Carol is spot on. They may not appreciate that your daughter finds thie start of the day stressful and has therefore developed the 'hanging back' as a way of dealing with it. So tell them!

 

As you point out, this disapproval has come out of the blue. Any change they want to make to the start of day routine should not!! You need time to introduce the concept to her. Doing it this close to the end of term is pointless. It would be a major change for her. So, if it is going to happen, it MUST be (1) Agreed. (2) Gradual. (3) Left till next term.

 

Don't let them try and say otherwise. Stick to your guns, and good luck.