I'm... new? I guess?

[RaphielDrake]

I found this forum, went to register an account but apparently I already have one that hasn't been used. Must of been one I made ages ago but not bothered to follow through with.

I have extremely high functioning aspergers which from what I gather is pretty rare. I've never met anyone else with the same variation of my condition. Mostly I just try and cover over it. Its not through any shame its just I'd rather people judged me for me. The only time I properly sought help with it was disastrous. I was seventeen and a moronic social worker sent me to this place where she said I'd meet people with the same condition. Now, I'm going to voice this as politically correctly as I can but have you ever been in a room full of people with the mental age of about six playing with their own excrement and getting a hard on over a kids program called "Lazy Town"? I wouldn't recommend it, it was among the most humiliating experiences of my entire life. I am not even comparable to that, the idea anyone would even attempt to even imply I was is insulting to say the least.

So yes, that is the accumulative experience I posses of others with my condition. Don't get me wrong, not all of them were like that. There were three very depressed and socially awkward types there too. By all intents and purposes they seemed relatively decent and by far the most sentient individuals in the room. They looked like they had been forced to attend for quite some time. They confided in me that they had to live on an estate with those similar to the other occupants of the room. I expressed my sympathies.

I decided very quickly I wasn't going to attend again.

 

After that I tried college, I was doing well at first but eventually I couldn't take it anymore. Apparently I have agoraphobia and have had it for quite some time.

I'm seeing a councillor about it right now called David Moat. I highly recommend him, really nice guy and an renowned expert when it comes to aspergers. Honestly, I'm really quite sociable when it comes to an isolated one on one situation but how often do those happen in the real world? I suppose I should be very grateful to have parents supportive enough to help with such things.

I'm going to use some of my benefits to pay for a private tutor to teach me philosophy and english literature at an A level standard. I hold the vain hope of somehow being lucky and good enough to get a place in Cambridge University. I know right? Next I'll be asking for a goose that lays golden eggs.

So, my situation: I'm 22, no qualifications of note aside from some very average GCSEs, high functioning aspergers, agoraphobia, 2 weeks away from starting A level tuition and with the vain hope of getting into Cambridge University.

 

Heres some comic relief;

Go nuts.

Edited August 26, 2012 by RaphielDrake

[A-S warrior]

.I have extremely high functioning aspergers which from what I gather is pretty rare.

 

no it is not sir. and you,ll soon find out that it is not when you post on here.

[LancsLad]

A-S Warrior I agree with your sentiments, but I think we need to realise that some people haven't got that many reference points in life to compare themselves with, not that I am particularly in favour of people comparing themselves to each other.

 

I think the issue for the autistic community is it is very hard to gauge how much experience professionals have in this respect either. Have they seen a dozen individuals, 25, 50, 100 or 500 and at what ages and where might they sit on the spectrum. We then start to thrown in other potential conditions, social background level of previous support and we have a pretty complex picture I suspect.

 

A good frined brought this home to me recently and made me question what a professional had said to me in respect to other individuals with AS they had worked with. It only took a simple question which was how many other individuals similar to you do you think this person has seen? I had to be honest and say I don't know, I guess I just presumed it would be a few I guess.

 

I think we need to be very open minded, what I reaslise is every time I see a professional a so called expert they tend to try and close my thinking down and start dealing in stereotypes, I wonder why that is?

 

Just a thought.

 

Welcome back to the forum RaphielDrake.

[darkshine]

Hello

[Cr4ckp0t]

Hi

 

I'm new to this too. I don't know anyone with Aspergers - least I've not met anyone. I wouldn't class myself as being extremely high functioning because I am unable to get a job (I've quit trying), I've had to move back to live with my parents, I only have one friend, I can't do any normal things like go shopping or to the pub or for coffee. However some people say i am academically gifted as I have an IQ of 162, countless GCSEs/Alevels/Assosciates Degree/BSc etc etc. I am enrolled now on a distance learning course at Harvard and I am also looking to complete my MSc here in the UK although this is problematic as it requires lab time and human interaction.

 

I'd probably be like one of the three very depressed characters you talked about if you met me but if people persisted with me or communicate with me in writing/by email etc I can probably pull it off that I'm fairly "normal". Having just spent the last 5 weeks in an acute psychiatric ward I know that however competent I may be intellectually or academically, my thought processes and behaviour often result in people perceiving me to very childish, even stupid simply because I don't have the social skills or ability to adapt to different situations. I'd give anything to meet people who have some degree of empathy with how it feels to be part of a world you never seem to fit in. That would be worth a million times more than meeting people who are my intellectual equals with whom I find it no easier to relate to than any random stranger i could meet in the street