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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
smileyK

Do you get needy - constant reassurance

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smileyK   

I seem to crave or need constant reassurance/ acceptance especially from my parents seems a bit excessive OTT all time not just some of the time is this AS type issue???

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I think its normal to want reassurance from loved onces, I'm especially like that with my sister you know because I don't really fit in so I'm always judging myself and thinking I have conducted myself in the right way, said the right things, I overanalyse things all the time.

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trekster   

The overly anxious constant reassurance indicates that counselling, psychology help is needed.

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smileyK   

i've always had low self esteem (as have dyspraxia & AS which both low self esteem/confidence) which never really moved up the scale much i always see the bad negative in myself my life my body ( self-image) over anaylying everything i suppose is AS /anx issue always surfaces it 'ugly head'

 

i hate myself of being so needy all time i feel like a child due to clingness it's like adult seperation anxiety issue really as because of me late developing everything takes little bit longer to let go as hold on and won't let go of grip as so scared /worried something go wrong playing what if in your mind trying to play out every situation make everything predictable perfect through adult reassurance this always been the case for me at school,college , work and home ... so effects every aspect of my life don't know how to ecsape it free myself from this trap as making me miserable fed up more depressed as want get out of this 'old habit' any ideas for me? scared make new steps alone know i need to do it face it on my own get fearful try turn back on myself try talk myself out of it before even done it ! :(

 

XKLX

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smileyK   

i was bullied through school which don't think helped ease this reassurance pattern that seems carried on throughout my adult life i'm going raise this issue when i see my new NAS pyschologist see if she can help me resolve work through these issues i tried to break this down on my own but lot to take in digest and process on your own/alone

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trekster   

I was bullied through school which don't think helped ease this reassurance pattern that seems carried on throughout my adult life i'm going raise this issue when I see my new NAS pyschologist see if she can help me resolve work through these issues I tried to break this down on my own but lot to take in digest and process on your own/alone

 

When are you going to see your new NAS psychologist? If you don't know I would prioritise finding out. Also have mentioned underlining the issues in the 'BASW booklet about ASDs and Social Care' and handing over to the social worker or other types of professionals in your care. Avoiding gluten, dairy and other foodstuffs that were confusing my brain helped with things as well. Also the grief counselling. Let me know when you have tried all/some of these ideas and I can let you know what to do next.

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smileyK   

I had grief counselling with last NAS pyschologist over the going away of both my Nans I don't know when got new one waiting to hear from her gave her my contact details telephone numbers through email mobile and home telephone too ! The social worker I went to see only did care plan review

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I can relate to this. I used to be this way when I was in my teens and early twenties, it's only been the last few years that I haven't needed constant reassurance.

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I can really relate to what you're saying. I have diagnoses of depression and anxiety, and was also bullied at school, too. I seem to swing between "stuff them they don't understand me or know me so I'll just do whatever I want and if they don't accept me, it's their tough luck" and "Oh no! Did I exclude that person? Did I alienate them? Say something wrong / stupid?". It's taken a long time but I'm just starting to acknowledge to myself that it's ok to let the real me out. Sometimes I need to turn down the volume a little bit, and play the NT game (pretending to be normal!), but that if I feel like I've messed up, I can always be open and apologise. People aren't always as horrible to me as I think they're going to be. And if they are, I try to look at what they're motives might be. I'm prone to jumping to the conclusion that it's all my fault - I'm the one who's messed up, I'm the one who's less than worthy of people's time", but actually, that's not always the case. Hopefully, if someone doesn't accept me, with all my quirks and my inevitable mistakes, I can get away with not having to be in contact with them much!! I know this isn't always possible, but it's a start! I do still ask people around me for reassurance, and on my bad days I just get too overwhelmed to even try to engage with people, but I think I make a bigger deal out of asking for help / reassurance than other people do. To me, it can be a massive, worrying thing to say "What did that person mean when they said....?", I catastrophise, think they'll judge me for being stupid etc. But it seems that the person to whom I ask a question, answers it, then kind of forgets I asked, no big deal! :)

I'm waffling, so I'm going to shut up now. The short version of this post is: I related to what you experience but it's not all bad out there :)

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smileyK   

I think it's linked / connected to past issues like you all posted on here due to severe bullying experiences that never leave you fully haunt you forever through self doubt voices which drum in your head all time I think everyone comments / experiences have summed this issue up well and have give me food for thought reflection on the reasoning behind my attachment issues can't escape easy! I think it also something to do feeling of pure innocence of security taking back to being back to childhood with no real worries / responsibilities in " adult world" which build strong framework of extreme stress / anxiety / fear inside which overwhelming! Trying to pre plan predict and explain put answers to everything make everything more stable constant predictable on less shaky scary ground! :(

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trekster   

I would keep chasing the NAS psychologist weekly with your social worker, also do you have home support or outreach support?

It would be their job to help you chase medical appointments from professionals.

 

Mine advises me when i should chase someone up. From the amount of times you repeatedly post on here it indicates to me

that you desperately need psychological support. Another option is telephone counselling privately, NAS can email you a list

of autism specific counsellers. Also get your MP involved if you feel the NAS psychologist is taking longer than you expect.

 

Some waiting lists are weeks, months even years long. If i know how long the wait is likely to be it is less stressful for me.

There are also interventions you can do yourself, gluten and dairy free living is one example, you may feel worse to begin

with but that is a good sign that these interventions can help.

 

What does your care plan say about helping with your anxiety?

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