resorted to drastic action

[loulou]

Hi everyone,

 

I've posted before about Kai's continual rudeness. He answers back and swears all the time, which is really getting to me. I don't swear at all, it's all copied from my neighbour's older child.

 

Anyway, i've tried ignoring and i've tried time out, but nothing has worked so far.

 

Today, he was extra "gobby". Anything i said, he replied with "Oh, shut up you old hag". I was about to explode .

 

I put him in the car and started driving. He didn't want to be in the car, so he picked up a metal tape-measure that was on the back seat and threw it at me (whilst i was driving). That pushed me too far, so i said to him, "Right, that's it, I'm taking you to the police station to see what they say about what you just did".

 

He didn't believe me, so i drove to the police station and pulled up outside. He then realised i was seriously cross and he started panicking and crying. He was PETRIFIED. I didn't feel bad at all because i could see that i'd actually got through to him that i was angry with him.

 

He begged me not to take him in there and was really crying and saying sorry (not something he often does). I told him that i was really unhappy about how he'd been speaking to me lately and that it had to stop.

 

He said he would try really hard, and touch wood, he's been MUCH better this afternoon.

 

I think maybe i should feel guilty for scaring him so much, but i don't. Nothing else so far has worked.

 

Loulou x

[Tylers-mum]

Don't beat yourself up over it. At the ned of the day, you did what was needed to be done and touch wood, it has worked so far! At least he now knows you mean business when you say 'enough is enough or I'll take you back to the police station'!!

Hang in and Weldone for sticking to your guns!

[KarenM]

I think i would have a go at this one myself if i had a car but alas i dont .Hope he keeps behaving .

[kazzdt]

Hi Loulou

 

I couldn't believe it when I read your post.

 

Only this morning I told Sam that I was going to call the police out to him for beating up on his sister again. We've been going through it, same as you, things have been really bad lately. He has always been aggressive especially to his sister, but recently more and more is also directed at me. I hate the way he speaks and I hate feeling so powerless when he hurts his sister. I said that if I can't deal with him anymore I'll have to get some help from the police. Trouble is I just don't think I could go through with it (and he probably knows this! )

 

You've really got me thinking now though that maybe pulling up outside the Station could have an impact on Sam too. I would love to know how long the effects of your actions help for, please keep us posted. Good luck, I know how you feel, I really do!!

 

 

Kazz

[lil_me]

Mine is usually the naughty boys home threat, never had to take him just threatened, putting him in the car or going for a bus when I don't have the car is the furthest we have had to get. My son was told that they won't have DVD, Playstations,Gameboys or books in there and soon shuts him up.

 

My Mam used it with me and my sister when we were little, is a place called Cherry Tree House in Middlesbrough which was where they said they'd take us and I remember fearing it as it had bars on the windows and everything.

 

I did say about the police one day but my father in law who is a police officer stopped me when he said what if he's lost and he fears going to a policeman, but he was much younger then and couldn't understand people having two roles, as a law enforcer and as help when emergencies.

Edited August 5, 2005 by lil_me

[mandyque]

I think a healthy fear of the law is a good thing, it's what stops us from committing crimes in the end and if your child understands that the police deal with 'naughty people' then it's a good thing, especially as the police will usually back you up and have a chat with a child if you did actually get into the station. To me it's better to do that than to let a child get away with bad behaviour to the point where he could REALLY get into trouble with the law.

 

It might be worth asking for a community officer to pop in and have a chat with him if it wouldn't scare him too much, just so he can hear from a policeman that they catch bad people and help good people.

[mandyque]

BTW lil me was that the childrens home on the estate near South CLeveland hospital?

[lil_me]

Its in the middle of Grangetown, its just a childrens home, but we were all petrified of it as kids, think every member of my family has been threatened with Cherry Tree House, inc my parents.

 

My son does understand the law, more so as his Grandad is a police officer and he used to tell him about what he did inc locking up the bad people, but also helping the people who were lost etc. He even says to his brother if he steals his toys that the policeman would arrest him, or if he doesn't wear his seat belt in the car that the policeman will stop Mammy's car which I suppose is good thing as he knows the difference between good and bad.

[oracle]

I have made friends with our Community Police which patrol the area Matthew is fully aware of this and he is also aware that they are on the beat every day Sometimes you have to be creative

 

Carole

[Kazzen161]

I had to call out the Police once, and he did say that he could take T on a tour of the cells if necessary. I don't think it would have deterred T, but the Community or Schools Police Officer will often help you out by saying what you think your child needs to hear.

 

Karen

[elaine1]

god, I think tom would poo himself if i told him that, he gets really worried if he swears and didnt realise it was a swear word lol