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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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charlotte tyers

autisim advice please!!

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Hi guys in New to this, so my daughter is 5 and is currently under cahms and is being assessed for autisum and adhd,

She has loads of support at school as her behavouir is worse there. She struggles with there being so many in her class and is very violent to other children,  she has obbsessions and some repetitive behavouir also.

She had headphones today to block the back ground noise due to her behavouir at school, the teacher said it worked really well during maths but in her music lesson she took them off and begain to sing louder then any one. . If she was on the autistic spectrum would she not struggle with music lesson and the loudness? 

I feel as though the teacher tried to say she can control it in certain settings.

She does not like to many people around her in her space and can't concentrate for a long period of time and is very hyperactive.

But some things she can tolerate, like other loud noises. 

Would this mean she is not on the spectrum of she can control her self in some settings.

Any advice would be appriciated. Thank you 

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Ferret   

hello charlotte

i am autistic

firstly, if you are using your full name, perhaps it might be an idea for online security not to use your full name. you may wish to change your username

 

now to address your query: i shall begin with a standard disclaimer that i offer opinion only. should you deem anything i say to be of use, please take it as such. i make no formal diagnosis, yet offer insight into the autistic condition based on my personal experience/understanding. 

i read your query with interest. i immediately assess this as an immersion issue, and a focus issue - an immersion in experience, and also focus of attention. 

you suggest in a neurotypical way that you interpret the inferrance by the teachers that your daughter SELECTIVELY CHOOSES problems with her hearing. this is myth, imo, and my experience. 

the hearing myth - think not merely of sound as noise, but as information. imagine standing in a room full of televisions, all playing different channels, and having to concentrate on a task - this is what it is like for your daughter when she struggles. too much information. autistics become exhausted by concentrating and using all of their mental effort to filter through and concentrate.

now. imagine if all of the televisions suddenly tune in to one single channel, very loudly, and all play the same. suddenly, 'hearing' becomes easier. the channel is clear, or at least 'the message' is. we can tune in and join in. suddenly we appear not to have a problem - this is what it is like for your daughter in the singing lesson, and also, it is a physical experience, AND and emotive one, AND one of expression, free expression. she chooses to participate and can do so without inhibition. 

you will find that many autistics enjoy loud music, almost ear piercing. even to the point of repetitive playing of the same stanzas. we like to drown out all the other noise with one noise. 

as for the not concentrating in busy places or becomming overloaded by sound and activity - think of the saying 'it is so loud, it's deafening', but think in terms of INFORMATION. sound is information. 

we are sensory receptors turned up. tuned up to receive everything. so we will experience things differently. to suggest we are making it up in any way is to a) exhibit a lack of understanding of what we experience b.) exhibit a lack of understanding of autism, and the landscape of the sensory.

21 minutes ago, charlotte tyers said:

She does not like to many people around her in her space and can't concentrate for a long period of time and is very hyperactive.

would suggest this is normal. often overload and exhaustion can exaccerbate outward 'symtomatic' behaviour. think of putting an extension lead in a plug socket on the wall already overloaded and then adding another appliance. you will end up overheating and blowing a fuse. our nervous systems are highly attuned, we don't need much stimulation to kick us up and off. add to that stress and continued day in, day out demand/attention stimulus and you get a nice recipe for emotional exhaustion there. eventually it will manifest as insomnia, defensive violence - literally, leave me alone' style defense - and then seeking isolation or becoming non-communicative as we shut-down.

27 minutes ago, charlotte tyers said:

Would this mean she is not on the spectrum of she can control her self in some settings.

no. 

 

your daughter sounds normal for an autistic.

i trust the assessment goes well. i trust the above i have outlined offers some further insight. i am sure others here, will weigh in and offer their support and comments and insight in due course. 

you can also try the national autistic (nas) site for information and support. 

f.

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Thank you so much for your reply, she is such a lovely girl but needs some support now as it has gone on for way to long, and children are becoming scared of her and that is not what I want.

I doubted my instinc due to the teachers saying "she was fine in the class yesterday with more children in the class" then other days she cant handle it. I have got her behaviours less frequent at home, but at school they are struggling. They use all the autistic strategies with her and they are trying there best, but untill and if she gets diagnosed she won't get one to one funding and she keeps telling me she wants to be on her own in a class room because all the children are noisy.

Then she has masivebehavouirsand attacks sometimes 5 or 6 children in her class, runs around the school, hurts her self for attention and the list goes on.

She doesn't like anyone touching certain things of hers like play doe that she is given to roll in her hands, or sort teddys they give her as she becines obbsessed over things.

she has just started with rescent repetative behaviours such as doing a jigsaw 8 times in a day, this may be normal but today when I said it was to late she became agitated and angry.

She also obsessive over food and wants to eat all the time.

Her assessment is in November and we have been waiting a long time so I am relived about that. Fingers crossed and thanks again for you advice x

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Ferret   

you are welcome.

the children are becoming scared because they do not understand why it is happening - this is a responsibility area for the teachers to explain to other children how to behave towards your child. and to inform other children about autism.

would suggest do not doubt yourself. take all feedback and assess quietly and reflect upon it. keep a diary. note everything, good days and bad days, patterns will reveal themselves and help you understand. also diary is a good way for you to destress too and give your day structure, so that in the evening she too can participate with you and add to it if necessary. this will or may also open up channel of communication, and also 'destress' at the end of the day. but do not force her if she requires 'own' time. a diary can be used in support of your assement in november, and be a useful tool in support of yourself. 

she does sound like she needs a more autistic friendly/supportive environment for her learning needs. she sounds very much like she is exhibiting stress/overload.

14 minutes ago, charlotte tyers said:

hurts her self for attention

no. myth. self hurt is to express internalised pain that cannot otherwise be expressed or verbalised or acted upon because of inhibitors social or otherwise. it is a control issue, a self control safety valve. it is erroneous to presume or interpret this type of act as 'attention seeking'. it is not attention seeking. it is a sign of extreme distress, both emotionally and psychologically, and it is a logical reponse to extreme enviornment stimulus toxicity. poor mite. 

keep a diary of all self harm issues. triggers will reveal themselves as pattern events externally. raise these with your gp.

17 minutes ago, charlotte tyers said:

she has just started with rescent repetative behaviours such as doing a jigsaw 8 times in a day, this may be normal but today when I said it was to late she became agitated and angry.

this is not a problem. this is her finding a natural destressing, decompression activity to aid her in 'switching off'. i would suggest you begin to change your understanding of this  behaviour, and do not associate it with negative connotations. to suggest it is obsessive is erroneous. think more in terms of: destressing, decompression, meditation, peaceful activity, downtime, comfort time, safe space. 

19 minutes ago, charlotte tyers said:

She also obsessive over food and wants to eat all the time.

this is again not necessarily a problem, but should be monitored. i would suggest that if she is hungry, this might be due to the amount of energy she is burning off in terms of calorific stress. but equally, compulsive eating is a sign that either a) she is not getting enough of a balanced diet and the body is craving nutrients, or b.) the body is in a state of stress and flight or flight due to high cortisol levels, and is in 'danger' zone behaviour, therefore is needing food, or c) she needs to comfort eat as this give endorphins to the brain and is calming. 

again, trust yourself and her to tell you the right thing. listen to her. but also keep a diary too about this. if there is a trigger, it will reveal itself. 

 

all the best for the assessment.

f.

 

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Thanks again for you support I've taken everything on board.

I understand her more then anyone, it has taken time though.

But children and the teachers still are not sure what to do and why she does it.

I love to see her doing the jigsaw over and over again, it's the calmer side I see off her and it's so nice to watch.

I will update on how the asseasment goes.

take care.

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trekster   

Hello

Im one of the volunteer moderators on here and am also autistic. For me eating lots of certain foods were actually making me worse. Gluten and all animal dairy was causing severe behavioural problems and stomach issues. Also self injury can be a way of redirecting physical pain, for me that was the case. Hope the assessment went well.

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