Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
Sign in to follow this  
bristolbloke

Help/advice needed please!

Recommended Posts

Hi All

 

This is my first post here, and I’m feeling a bit helpless as the moment and I was looking for some support and advice.

 

I first became aware of AS following the breakdown of my marriage about 8 years ago. I was unable to cope and express myself within the relationship, and it fell apart. At the end my ex-wife said I must be autistic or something because there was clearly something wrong with me! Following that comment I did look into it and found out about Asperger’s syndrome. It was a eureka moment for me, and I could relate to everything I read I about it, and it made me feel so happy that I finally knew what was “wrong” with me.

 

I spoke to my mum about it, and got her to read up about it. She completely dismissed it and said that I didn’t have it and there was nothing wrong with me. She did however say it sounds like something my father had though, but that I didn’t. I went for a formal diagnosis through the NHS, but after testing, they didn’t give me one. This was mainly due to my mother’s witness statement/testimony about me as a child (which from my point of view was completely inaccurate!), and also the fact that I was “too self-aware” about the condition i.e. the fact I had researched it and referred myself, meant I couldn’t have it!

 

I was devastated, having come to accept that this was something I experienced, I sought a formal diagnosis to be able to “prove” to people why I was the way I am. I should have stuck to my self-diagnosis! My mother had a very “told you so” attitude which just made things worse. I decided to accept the diagnosis and try and continue with my life as best as I could, with no real explanation for my thoughts and behaviour. I still believe to this day that I have some sort of AS related issue (PDD-NOS?), but it’s hard to accept that I have not had that confirmed by medical professionals when I’m 100% convinced!

 

I have always used alcohol as a way of coping with my life, something that apparently is very prevalent in people with AS (my dad was an alcoholic and drug user, so maybe my mum was right about him!). In my next relationship, and following the birth of our child, I suffered from post-natal depression, and my drinking spiralled out of control, and ultimately led to the breakdown of that relationship about 18 months ago. Following another bout of depression recently, I have been put on anti-depressants and feel a lot better about myself, but again my drinking has got out of hand, and I’m seeking help with that.

 

My current relationship is once again breaking down. I have tried explaining to my partner about AS but she doesn’t accept my self-diagnosis. She just says you don’t know you have that, and she can’t see how my behaviour mirrors that of someone with AS. I am reading a book at the moment about AS and alcohol as a way of coping, it’s incredible, I feel like I wrote it and I can relate to everything in it. I have asked my partner to read certain parts of it but she isn’t interested. I don’t know what to do now. I can’t say why I won’t go for a formal diagnosis (because I already tried that) as I’ll just get “I told you so” again, and I can’t deal with that, but without that I can’t convince her there is anything wrong. If only I could get her to read the book she would instantly recognise me and relate to those issues. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t understand me, or doesn’t want to try to understand me, and so it feels like yet another relationship is going down the drain.

 

I just don’t know what to do. Could the diagnosis of no AS be wrong? Could it be something else? Should I just stick to dating people who also have AS, as at least they would understand me? How would I even go about doing that?

 

If anyone has any advice or experience of a situation like this it would be great to hear from you.

 

Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The diagnosis was wrong. It doesn't matter that you are self aware, most low dependency people on the spectrum are self aware. There are autistim specialists with autism

At the end of the day, if autistim makes sense to you in regards with your experiences, thoughts and behaviour then you probably are on the spectrum. Nobody else can have your experiences, only you. It sounds like both your mum and the Clinton's you visited only see autism in terms of someone with high dependency. The person who said you don't have it because you are self aware or because you are self diagnosed doesn't really know anything about Autism.

Here's some links to online tests

https://www.additudemag.com/screener-autism-spectrum-disorder-symptoms-test-adults/

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-quiz/

once you do some tests for yourself then get referred for a formal diagnosis . If they say you can't be coz you are self diagnosed or too self aware you can tell them that half the people on the spectrum are self aware and ask them if they realise it is a spectrum 

Get a second or third opinion if you need to, but don't except what you know isn't true.

Good luck

Ps it isn't really a disorder, it's Neurotypical people who call it that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×