Getting a night's sleep

[Tez]

Getting a bit desparate for a night's sleep. A has always been a terrible sleeper but he goes through periods when his sleep is just nonexistent. He takes melatonin which helps slightly but for the past 3 weeks we haven't had a single night's sleep.

 

At 14, I know he should be able to get through the night on his own, if he can't sleep he's allowed to listen to his portable CD or after a period of trying to sleep get up and quietely do what he wants, but his sensory problems seem so much worse at night and he needs our constant support to explain that the noises he can hear are not anything to be frightened of. He's also having this recurring nightmare that he insists is a premonition of something bad that's going to happen but he's yet to crack the code to tell him what that bad thing is.

 

His stress levels are as low as I've known them for a long while and I don't think that he's worrying about anything specific so how do we get some sleep?

[annie]

Hi Tez,

 

Alex (15) has always been a terrible sleeper too. I don't know if it is what is happening to your son but, Alex was taking Melatonin last year, after about 6 months it started to have no effect. His Psychiatrist said that he would take him off it as sometimes that does happen. He isn't taking the Melatonin anymore and to be honest, even though he's still not sleeping brilliantly, he's not any worse.

 

I'm sorry I can't help with the nightmares, Alex has what he describes as weird dreams. One that he's mentioned a few times involves being chased by reindeers but he doesn't wake us up when he's worried.

 

I hope somebody can come up with some ideas, there's nothing worse than not getting a good nights sleep.

 

Annie

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[lorryw]

Hi Tez,

You have my total sympathy, lack of sleep makes life so much harder.

I know this will sound bizarre but have you thought of making a white noise tape to play in your lads room which would mask all the other night time sounds worrying him. I bought one many years ago which was designed to help soothe babies to sleep, not sure if you can still buy them.

Take care

Loraine

[Tez]

Hi Lorraine,

 

It doesn't sound bizarre using white noise to mask other sounds is something that I've been reading about. You can still get CDs or machines that generate white noise. I'd be interested to know if anyone has tried it and how effective it was.

 

One of my concerns is that A is extremely hypersensitive to sounds. My husband has a dog dazer which he sometimes needs to use in the course of his work. This is supposed to be inaudible to the human ear, A covers his ears and screams if it's used even if he can't see it being used, so he can obviouly hear it. I wonder if even white noise would have the same effect, especially since from the little I've read you have to search around for a white noise that is suitable for the individual.

[oracle]

We have had these problems with David from him being 11. It did all get much worse from the age of 13. I have to admit that in the end we put SKY into his bedroom. We were clearly desperate because David would go 72 hours between each sleep and we could not longer function. I was up every two minutes to calm him. He worries about EVERYTHING and he still does. We tried the CD approach but it still gave him too much space in his head to think. When we finally decided to get in SKY, which was a gamble and totally against the advice of the professionals, I also laid down some rules. He never watches without headphones. He hated the headphones but he did eventually get over that. He will often put the text on because then he has to concentrate on reading the text. He now knows which programmes to avoid. He only watches what I consider to be light viewing. Often things like Carton Network.

 

David has been having night terrors from the age of 2 and some nights they can be dreadful. When he does want to sleep then he is allowed to take out the headphones and have the TV on very very low. He then sort of watches the TV while he drifts off to sleep. He now puts a 60 min timer on which is progress because he is confident that by then he will be asleep.

 

We were desperate because David felt that while the house was sleeping he was unsafe But while he was awake he could hear every single noise that the whole neighbourhood was making. I was up and down ALL night.

 

I have to say that at the end of the day this is something that David has learned to deal with himself. He knows that he is on hyper alert during the night and has found ways to calm himself. He now writes me notes while I am sleeping and leaves them in the bathroom for me. I am often up to the loo during the night, maybe because of the house that we live in, and he knows that I will see his notes. If he's having a bad night I can find 10 notes waiting for me. But it's stopped him from physically needing me. Of course we do have blips and nights when he is stressed and can't calm himself but it is much better than it was.

 

Carole

[Tez]

Carole,

 

Thanks that's reassuring. A does have Sky in the bedroom and the rule used to be that he didn't watch it after a certain time. We have relaxed this rule however and he is now allowed to watch it during the night if he can't sleep. This used to worry my husband because there is so much unsuitable material on at night but A self regulates himself really well so this isn't a worry for me.

 

Sadly, I find that experts rarely have the right answers. They may have a theoretical knowledge but they have no practical experience, I've tried following their advice in the past but it generally just makes matters worse.

 

I think we're just having a really bad few weeks. It was triggered by a visit to the Psychiatrists which always unsettles A and I think he is abit uneasy about everyone else going back to school, although he knows he's not going back it's at the back of his mind that nothing has yet been officially organised for his education.

[helenl53]

Hi Tez,

 

My lad chose a Dreamcatcher from the shop where he gets his crystals - and the difference has been astounding. The lady explained about the Indian legend and it seems to be something that he accepts.

 

It may not work - but we too had loads of problems with night terrors and not being able to function the next day.

 

Best wishes

 

helenL

[Tez]

Hi Helen,

 

You've just reminded me A does have a dreamcatcher and it does work well. When we have problems like this I usually take it down and let him watch me take it outside shake out all the bad dreams its caught. I'm so exhausted I'd not even thought to do that.

 

Off to try that now.

[oracle]

Yes we use dream catchers too In fact when Matthew had some really nasty dreams we bought one for him and he's been great ever since So fingers crossed.

 

I agree about professionals. We were told to cut all of the plugs from his TV, CD etc and MAKE him confrom and sleep - yes as if that was going to work. I never even thought about doing that.

 

I have to say that reading your post Tez really made me think. David was signed off from the Child and Family Unit when he was 16 and since then we have seen no one at all !!!! It's a disgrace but I have noticed how much better he is now he is seeing no one Makes you wonder?

 

 

Carole

[lil_me]

<'> Hope you get it sorted soon, I do a no Melatonin day every week and sometimes a few days without it in a row especially over the holidays or my boy becomes immune to it. Don't know if it will help with your lad but it works with mine. He's not a perfect sleeper with it but at least gets a few hours, if I leave him without it sometimes he has an hour if that don't know how he manages it

[Tez]

Thank you for all the advice. I went and emptied the dreamcatcher yesterday. At the same time A decided to talk to his dad about a new "presence" he has found in his bedroom. For some time now A has said that he is aware of presences in the house, unusual scents, cold spots which move aroundetc. Each presence has a clear identity and he has come to trust them. However, he has recently become aware of a new presence in his bedroom that he doesn't trust. He says that it punches him in the stomach and that he feels that it is evil. His dad reassured him that it was in another dimension and that it couldn't do him any harm but if it continued to worry him we would swap bedrooms with him.

 

Well, either emptying the dreamcatcher or the talk with his dad worked because he slept last night and even when he was awake he didn't disturb us.

[helenl53]

Hi Tez

 

Glad you got a good nights sleep - we can cope so much better when we are not exhausted.

 

Do you have a local shop which sells crystals - A might like to pick some crystals that he feels may protect him.

 

I find this side to my son's life, quite intriguing and I have been told that I should not question - just accept.

 

Best wishes

 

HelenL

[Tez]

Hi Helen, I mentioned the crystals to my son and he thinks that they're a good idea. Since we're going away on Saturday he's going to buy them somewhere whilst we're on holiday.He googled for information on crystals and protection and has a list of crystals that he thinks might help which he is going to buy from a large crystal shop we visit in Orlando.

 

I agree with you, I find this aspect of my son intriguing as well. I did do some research a while ago because A was having out of body experiences that were frightening him and stories such as these are quite common among autistic children.

 

I don't know about not questioning, I think it is part of my nature to question, but I do accept. I'd just like to know a little more about it.

[oracle]

It's amazing just how many of our ids 'feel' these things. David has for years he calls it is Dejavu and stuff. He has learned to accept these things now and not be afraid although some things still freak him fro time to time.

 

My friend and I both agree that our kids have a different dimension to them that has really made both of us think. Our kids may have an SEN but they also have abilities and senses far above our plane and thoughts.

 

Carole

[helenl53]

Hi Girls,

 

One theory is that our kids are Indigo Children or Crystal Children.

 

Carole, Deja Vu is a very big feature in Jordans life.

 

We have just been to the crystal shop and Jordan has had a little Reiki as he has developed a shaky head and he realises that it is nerves about going back to school tomorrow.

 

I wonder if there are other parents on this forum who have children who have these extraordinary experiences.

 

Tez, A might like to get some Native American things when he is in Florida. I have a small deerskin pouch which has a litttle bit of Mother Earth in it and I find that it is very comforting.

 

Best wishes

 

HelenL