Mine does that too...!!

[Brook]

Hi all,

 

I know something very similar has been posted before, but I just wanted to let off a bit of steam .

 

Whenever I am trying to explain to friends etc about something my son may be doing, or has done, or does not like, I always get the same reply, 'ooh, yeah, mine does that too', these are parents talking about their NT kids.

 

Whilst I would agree that their kid probably does do it too, there is a very marked difference in 'the reason' and 'the reaction' of the kids.

Just an example here:

 

When my son was in school, in the mornings the whistle would blow and they would all line up in their class lines ready to go in. Well my son could never miss the whistle and line, I always made sure we were never late, but one day we forgot something and had to quickly go home to get it, just as we were walking up the drive, I heard the whistle blow as we approached the playground the lines were starting to go in, my son went hysterical, he laid on the steps screaming and crying, shouting for them to all come back and start again .

 

Well on a different day, we were walking up the drive with one of the parents and her daughter, time was getting on, and I happened to say 'I hope they dont blow that whistle yet, he cant bear to miss the line', well, she replied 'oh, my daughter does that it's quite normal, she likes to be in the line to chat to her friends and gets stroppy with me if we miss the line'.

 

Initially the same right, but, the whistle and the line was routine, the start of my sons day, he knew step by step what was required of him, hear the whistle, line up, go in hang coat up, go to class..etc... my son was totally hysterical because the start of his day had been messed up, he did not know the next step without the begining, hence his hysterical reaction, the rest of his day would be filled with anxiety and outbursts, all because he missed the whistle and line.

The daughter would have given her mum a bit of stroppy backchat, gone into school and thought no more of it, my son on the other hand would have felt like his whole day had been ruined.

 

So what I'm trying to say is, yes, on the surface some things do seem the same, but delve a bit further then you realise there is no comparison.

RANT OVER

 

Brook

[Tylers-mum]

I could not have said it better myself!! BEAUTIFULLY said!!!

[KarenT]

Yes, definitely. The other day J and I were walking home from school and we bumped into another boy from his year, walking home with his mum and dad and toddler brother. J caught sight of him and said "Hi Liam, I've just got this new book called Horrible Histories and it's about the Savage Stone Age and there's this joke in it it's a bit of a grown-up joke about a mammoth and it went like this there was a picture of the mammoth and ..." and off he went, without taking a breath, rambling incessantly about this flippin' book, the way he talks about any obsession from the minute he wakes up till he closes his eyes at night. Liam and the bro continued to walk along in silence alongside their parents, while J pinballed from one side of the footpath to the other as he talked. After a few minutes of this the mum said to me "They're all the same, aren't they". Honestly, these kids weren't just poles apart but universes. But somehow these parents have to insist that their kids are the same as mine. It's bizarre - they were so different they could have been separate species.

 

Karen

x

[Alphazebra]

I think the main thing here as you have all said is its the meaning and thought process behind the action that is soooooooo different. I suppose they just don't have any experience of that to realise.

[mandyque]

I know what you mean too. It is lack of understanding, and maybe they want us to feel better by thinking that what our kids are doing is 'normal' in some way. But they don't understand the whole issue, that rather than just being stroppy or something, it really does feel like the end of the world if they miss part of their routine. My daughters worst thing at the moment is her DVDs, she doesn't realise that you have to be careful with the discs so she gets fingerprints on them and scratches them, then when they freeze she is devastated and has to start the whole DVD again. In the meantime I am trying to get hold of the disc to check and clean it but she just wants to watch it PROPERLY

[Brook]

We have the dvd issues as well

 

Brook

[smallworld]

bit naughty this, but we have started copying any dvds we buy cos our kids think they're indestructible (and dvds are !)

Not sure, but think this may be ok if you're only making a copy of a disc you already own ?

[Suze]

, yep it,s well meaning I,m sure but pretty frustrating when they say it.

[Alphazebra]

Not sure, but think this may be ok if you're only making a copy of a disc you already own ?

At least as far as computer software goes you are completely in your right to make a copy of it so that should the original media get damaged you still have access to the software that you own. In fact originally it was the recommended thing to do and many software applications stated it as the first thing to do before installing the software (in the instruction manual). Now that copying of software and the like is so prolific they do not announce this anymore. I would see absolutely no reason why this same fact wouldn't transfer to DVDs. As long as they are held by you and not distributed then you are complelety in your right to protect your purchase in that way. :-)

[mandyque]

*makes note to buy DVD writer*

[lil_me]

We back up every DVD we buy the boys, they get the copy and I keep the original in a case, then when they damage a copy I just make another one, this was after going through 14 copies of Finding Nemo, when I worked it out it had cost me over �200, which is more than a DVD writter. I use a programme called DVD shrink which makes it much easier to copy from original and remove all the extra languages using it aswell. As long as you don't sell the copies and only use them for your own use and own the original they can't do a thing about it as far as I am aware, I did contact the piracy prevention people to confirm this but it was about a year ago.

[Klou]

Yep I haven't managed to convince many people other than MIL who is 100% in favour of investigating ds's strange behaviour. I think you have beautifully hit the nail on the head of why I am doing what I am doing. It isn't the behaviour but the reason why the behviour is there that matters.