ceecee Report post Posted November 18, 2005 (edited) Just wondered if anyone else had experience of this.Do people with aspergers forget or twist what you have said? Edited December 3, 2005 by ceecee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted November 18, 2005 (edited) At a meeting with my sons psychiatist and social care worker the other day I was asked if there was anything I wanted to say about a certain situation, I asked a question and mentioned something my son had said to me a couple of days before. Well all hell broke loose!! He said he never said anything of the sort and when I tried to explain to them that this often happens with my son he told them "only when she makes things up" He wasn't lying he was convinced he never said it. I was so embarrassed . Two minutes later I asked him if he remembered (treading carefully!) another statement he had made and he said of course he did as if I was mad. Then the care worker said he told her something different and he said "No I didn't ,Did I? Boy was I relieved!! The only thing I can think of is he was upset when he said the two things he can't remember. Don't know if this helps but your brother is not alone in this Edited November 18, 2005 by asereht Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted November 19, 2005 Hi In a book for educational staff I recently look at, they really insist on the fact that AS ASD children not only have misunderstanding because of pragmatic language difficulties, and unabilities in reading facial expression, but as well that they do have a very bad memory concerning personnal events, I have notice that with my son especialy when he is upset about something it is like his mind goes blank. Sometimes as well they seem to understand your questions but they don't and they miss the point. Take care. <'> Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ceecee Report post Posted November 19, 2005 Thanks Malika this helped.I'm not going mad after all.I too have as but very mildly and certainly don't have any problems remembering things.Take care and thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted November 19, 2005 Sounds like a typical bloke to me! Ha ha! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted November 19, 2005 Hi I have frequent misunderstandings with my son because he tends to misinterpret my intentions and feels attacked even if I am doing something for his own good. He also misinterprets my voice and he thinks that I'm angry when I'm only saying something without any particular emotion, sort of matter of fact. I've noticed that he gets like this when he has had a stressful day at school and he feels that everyone is against him. The only thing that I can do is to reassure him but this is getting more difficult as he is becoming a teenager and is strating to have the same reactions of NT teens apart from his AS. Sorry if this doen's help you very much. You are not alone with this type of situation. Gloria <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noetic Report post Posted November 19, 2005 (edited) I have frequent misunderstandings with my son because he tends to misinterpret my intentions and feels attacked even if I am doing something for his own good. He also� misinterprets my voice and he thinks that I'm angry when I'm only saying something without any particular emotion, sort of matter of fact. I can definitely identify with the 'thinking someone is angry' bit. Even a very slightly raised voice (often not enough for the speaker to realise) can sometimes make me think they are cross with me or they are shouting. Silly thing is my Mum is the same... you can probably imagine that it got quite 'explosive' at times I can't really identify with the twisting bit though. I tend to be overly literal when it comes to interpreting things, and I tend to have too little an idea of a person's potential intentions to misunderstand them due to expecting others to be mean to them. Although I do know there are some individuals on the spectrum who seem to have the opposite (which closely resembles behaviour that is common in several 'personality disorders'), i.e. they read far too much into even the most simple statement and often it is almost an automatic process, it feels (to others) like they are deliberately looking for reasons to attack and criticise, and no matter what you say or write, any explanation you give will be twisted further to underline their own interpretation. I once had a very nasty fight with someone who, to underline their conviction that AS was a mental illness because the DSM uses the word developmental It may well be that this particular characteristic is not directly related to autism at all, but to deep feelings of anxiety and to bad experiences which cause some to always expect others to be attacking or criticising them (that might explain why it is so common amongst people with personality disorders). So it would be secondary, and could be helped by building their self esteem and treating possible underlying depression or anxiety. I suspect the lessened degree of awareness of other's intentions (in autism) can go both ways - it can either protect people from such 'paranoia' (I do believe this is the case for me, things like suspiciousness and social anxiety are foreign to me in face to face interaction) or if a person has enough of a theory of mind to be constantly aware that others have intentions, can make them more prone to it. (Perhaps this is part of the whole 'Autistic children often know little shame and are naive' stereotype. Some are like that, others have a partially developed theory of mind and it causes them to misinterpret and twist things) Language problems also seem to go both ways - lessened comprehension may well lead a person to 'jump to conclusions' a lot because they only understand or hear a few words, and use their (negative in this case) expectations to 'fill in the gaps', so once they interpret it in a twisted way, it is literally stored in their memories as 'This is verbatrim what they actually said'. On the other hand, delays in processing language (again this is often the case for me - this particular subject and the content of this post are things I have been trying for several months to explain to myself and put into words!) can mean there is no or very little interpretation happening 'in real time'. I believe Donna Williams used 'overconnectivity' and 'underconnectivity' to differentiate AS from Autism, with people with AS likely to overconnect and misinterpret (but having better ability in comprehension) and people with Autism having less ability to keep up with information and therefore making too few connections when interpreting it. Edited November 19, 2005 by Noetic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted November 20, 2005 Noetic, Thanks, well done this post is bringing more understanding and make me think. Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noetic Report post Posted November 20, 2005 (edited) Noetic, Thanks, well done this post is bringing more understanding and make me think. Malika. Thanks, glad it made sense. I'd been trying to put something on this together for ages but just kept going in circles! Love your signature picture by the way Edited November 20, 2005 by Noetic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
