a poo problem

[lindy-lou]

any advice on how i can get india to poo on the toilet??shes perfectly happy to wee on it but refuses to do a poo on the loo,shes only 3 years and 4 months but i think she should be learning to open her bowels on the toilet,ive tried all sorts of bribery tactics i.e-presents if she tries,ive got her to sit on it and try with me holding her hands but she just pushes twice and says i cant try,ive tried to get her to sit on the loo with a nappy on just to get used to the feeling of sitting on the toilet but she wont do it,she is really aware of the fact that the other kids at the nursery use the toilet and is always saying" i am a big girl but i cant learn" when she asks for her nappy,do you think i should just leave her be and she'll do it when shes ready or should i keep encouraging her to go on the toilet,i dont want it to turn into an issue,but i do want to get her out of nappys before she starts mainstream school.

 

lynda x

[Paula]

Oh god do i sympathise.If youd read my posting on toilet fear youll know why.

 

My son is now 11 hes an aspie.Hes terrified of toilet paper and wipeing his own bottom

 

Right back to youre problem coz beleive me ive been there.My son totally refused to do a poo on the toilet and would hold on for literally weeks on end.It got to the point where his stomach was bloated and hed anal leakage constantly.

 

Wed sit him on the loo and like youre child hed say after literally seconds cant go and get of the loo.

 

Because he was so badly constipated the peadiatrican gave him some supositarys what a saga that was inserting them!!!! Anyhows these supositrys kicked in after 20 minutes they kinda forced the bowel to contract.This meant i could insert one waite 20-25 minutes say come on on to the loo and his bowel would contract he also had some cream which you put on his anus to make it so he couldnt clench it and stop the poo leaving.

 

This meant that after a few supositrys and creams which he hated i could say to him if you dont try to go to the loo ie sit a while and try real hard then its the bottom pill.Hey presto hed use the loo!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

But it did used to take him around 20 minutes of sitting there and fussing and stuff before hed open his bowels.

 

I tell you i could write a thousand words on the bowel problems and toilet traumas of******

 

I dont know if ive helped but i didnt want you to think you were alone.

 

Oh i found and i know this sounds a bit daft that if i sat him in the dark whilst on the loo it kinda helped him also.

 

Now if only only i could crack the toilet paper carry on.

 

Take care

paula

Edited December 13, 2005 by Paula

[lindy-lou]

thanks paula,someone has suggested just not letting her have a nappy on and eventually she'll have to do it on the loo,but im worried about her holding back and getting really constipated as my niece actually got appendicitis from being backed up so to speak,i didnt know anything existed that would stop you from clenching and holding it in!!!i know i cant treat her like my other girls who were out of nappys by this age, but i do think that shes getting a bit old for the nappys now,and more than that i know it is a fear of going on the loo rather than her not being able to do it and so want to do something about it now rather that wait til she old enough for the professionals to give their opinions.

[Paula]

Oh yes!!!

 

Theres stuff that stops yer clenching and holding it in.The stuf yer learn.

 

I used to think hell go eventually he has to.But his stomach was like a beech ball the peadiatrican prescribed the bottom pills and cream.I only needed to use them 3 times to get things going then like i say the sheer sight of me holding the pill in the air did the trick!!!!!!!!! me shouting if yer dont go youll be on yur back with one of these beauties up yer backside!!!!!!!!!!!

 

What a rotton mum.LOL.Sent him running like lynford christie to the loo.

 

Bowels poo toilets its a wacky old world.

[LizK]

How old was she when she started potty training and being dry? My son was a bit of a late starter potty training and he only got the hang of it when he was 3yrs 4mths. He's never had an issue with poos or wees but I think it is quite common for a child to get the hang of weeing before pooing. My niece (NT) was dry months before she would poo on the potty or toilet and she had a real issue with it. She woudl hold it in and hold it on until she couldn't hold it anymore and then either ask for a nappy or have an accident. It is a common theme at Toddler groups I've been to as well so not uncommon.

 

I would try not to worry too much or make an issue out of it at the moment. ASD kids tend to be late potty trainers anyway so she may just be going though the normal phase just a bit later than other children. Is she in nappies all the time? Will she ask for a nappy when she wants a poo? Have you tried lining the potty with a nappy so she feels like she's doing it into her nappy? What worked for my son (After several aborted attempts at PT) was letting him run around barebummed (he didn't like weeing or pooing ont eh floor) with the potty at close hand and a sliding scale of rewards so one choccie button for small wee, 2 for a medium sized wee, 3 for a poo. Other than that maybe just sit her on the loo when you think she needs to go, don't make a fuss if she doesn't but lots of praise if she does. My SIL found that feeding my niece fruit to stop her gettign constipated helped too

 

Liz x

[lindy-lou]

shes been dry during the day for about a year but shes not dry at night yet,she wont poo on the potty or toilet with a nappy in it as ive tried this with no joy,im not going to make too much of a fuss about it but dont want it to go on too long either.

[ceecee]

I've been her with my son(n.t)What eventually worked after 17 months of trying is sitting him on the potty every evening and offering him a bribe e.g. a car for going.I persevered and it drove me mad.he would just go in his pants.Even now if he gets constipated we are back to the cycle of being too scared to push so i give him lots of fresh orange juice diluted.He wont eat fruit which does not help.i think in hindsight he got constipated then he was scared and then he couldn't control himself so it was a constant cycle.i tried absolutely everything but it dint work, only the bribe and even that somedays he was saying he didn't want the car if it meant poohing on the potty.

 

Lovely subject this.

[Hidden Gem]

My advice,

 

A night of beer, followed by takeaway - bowels open no problem the next day.

 

Try not to fall down stairwells though.

 

So it is less of and more

Edited December 13, 2005 by Hidden Gem

[loulou]

Hi lindy-lou,

 

I had the same problem with Kai too. He was dry from about 2 years 6 months, but would not poo on a potty or toilet. He would ask for a nappy to be put on when he needed to go.

 

I got rid of the nappies, but then he'd poo in his pants and scream for a clean pair!

 

I think you're right not too make a big issue of it, she is still very young. I think gentle encouragement is the best way.

 

I did try one of those pottys that looks like a mini toilet (Kai is 7 so i don't know if you can still get them). I put it in the bathroom and told him it was a special toilet just for him. It took a while, but eventually he used it, then we gradually progressed to the proper loo.

 

Don't worry, she'll get there,

 

Loulou x

[ceecee]

Ha ha

 

Cant exactly feed our kids beer and take aways though can we.

[lisann]

Hi

Lindy loo

Would just like to say this is very common and Char now 4 and half still need a nappy on most nights to do a poo.He can now do a poo on the toilet but if it's a poo at night he need he won't let you take the nappy off he goes and hides under his bed and comes out to tell you when he's done.I think don't rush them let her watch you go to the toilet for a poo yes it isn't very nice but it show them it's not scary and we say things like bye bye Mr poo as we flush the loo!! ( Yep we are nutters but it works for us!!!)

I also found with char he wouldn't sit on the potty but he would sit on the toilet.It is very hard but it will come with time.

 

As for the Beer and takeaway hummmmm not so sure what if they don't make it to the loo !!!LOL

 

Lisa x

[lindy-lou]

haha lisann,was the lindy LOO a fruedian slip?? indias always been obsessive about her poo and from an early age she has wanted to see the poo,smell it and say what sort of poo it is!!a patty or pebbles as she says she goes and hides to do a poo as well but my other girls did that too,she also has to come with me when i go to the loo and always asks if its a poo or a wee and then she has to look at it for confirmation(aint this nice )she wont tell me why she doesnt want to go on the loo she just says" i cant learn" and thats the end of it!!i know shes only young but i just know instinctively that this is going to be an area of her behaviour thats going to continue and i cant force her to do it.i dread to think of her going to mainstream school if she cant poo on the toilet and im also concerned they wont let her start if shes still in nappys for poos,il persevere and see how we get on

[Paula]

Ive tried and tried to talk to my son hes 11 about why he doesnt realy like haveing a poo and his fear of the toilet paper on many an occasion.

 

You just get no sence out of him he just clams up.I used to think is it the texture of the loo paper,the colour is he scared of the splash as it hts the water.

 

Its just one of the many mysteries of his mind.

 

I once had a book all about toilet training kids with aspergers and other learning difficulties.Full of tips and stuff.It made funny reading but didnt help.

 

 

my son holds on for about 4 days then when he goes he blocks the toilet !!!!!!!!Then after the joys of wipeing his bum for him i have to get me hand gloved round the u bend and shift it !!!!!!!! Talk about him rubbing salt in the wound.

Edited December 14, 2005 by Paula

[Anneuk]

Hi Lynda,

Total sympathy here!!!

 

My little boy <sure he is not aspie> is 3 yrs 8months and will not poo on the toilet, in fact at all unless he is over dosed with prescribed laxatives.

 

In fact he now goes once a week when we purge him <sounds awful> we have tried so many methods...

 

He is going into hospital in January for a week whilst they try to break his habit of 'holding' whilst checking him out in case anything else is wrong...

 

it is so frustrating isn't it? and also must be very painful for them...

 

Anne

[bookwyrm]

My youngest was dry at night from the age of 2 but absolutely wouldn't use the toilet or a potty. He wouldn't tell me when his nappy was dirty either so this great big child would be charging about with a heavy disgusting nappy banging about between his legs

 

He announced one day (age about 3 and a half) 'I will use the toilet when I am 4' and he did almost to the day

This was proably exacerbated by the fact that his oldest brother didn't use the toilet either. But he is 18 and still doesn't poo on the toilet It isn't fun when they have hairy bums I could hardly tell ys that big boys use the toilet when that was so clearly not a universal rule

[LittleRae]

Hi Anne

 

Wishing you well for your son's hospital stay. My DS (9) spent 2 weeks recently in hospital for this. He has been home 3 weeks and now 'goes' about 3 times a week and is clean & dry during the day.

 

He was on a strict routine in the hospital & we continue this at home and school using time charts. It's too early to tell yet whether it is truly successful, but this has been the best 3 weeks (toilet-wise) in years. He is still on daily laxatives to help this, but a smaller dose than previously and they will be phased out over time.

 

Good luck

 

A