Paula Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Is it possible to just disown and never have anything to do with a member of youre family ever againe.I hope it is because its what i want. Christmas is so so stressfull for me.My son hates the change in routine hes got AS, i get all worked up and stressed due to haveing bi polar disorder and its just a difficult time. So what does my sister do.Phone me up go on and on and on at me for not doing this or not doing that.I try to explaine that our son doesnt like going out and that im all over the place but it falls on deaf ears. In the end i thought why am i listening to this and hung up the phone.I then texed her to say i never wanted to speak to her againe as she caused too much upset and stress. Our son is going to have to undergoe more operations to correct the choanal atresia he was born with which im dreading because AS, hospitals, paine and stuff just dont go together throw in me being a bit loopy at times and its gonna be a nightmare. So i think this year im gonna cut out my life people even if its family who make matters worse.I feal bad though but its got to be done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted January 3, 2006 This must be really hard for you, but there are times when youi need to do what is right for you and your son, and this sounds like one of them. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ceecee Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Paula Hope you and your sister can come to some understanding soon <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressed out mum Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi Paula, I do hope that you can sort things out with your sister. Does she understand how someone with AS feels? Steve posted a great article under Help and Advice which explains a lot. Maybe you could adapt it and sent it to your sister from your son Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supersec Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your sister. I can't offer any real advice other than my sisters (and there are five of them) really do not understand other than the eldest who has worked with children with ASD. It may be better just to keep away for a while until things have calmed down and then perhaps send her a letter setting it all out in "layman's terms" for her to read and get her head around. Hope that is some help. big hugs to you <'> Supersec Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted January 3, 2006 If only it were the fact that our son is AS but its not. Its alsorts of deep rooted family stuff.We dont realy get along im kinda the black sheep of the family being bi polar doesnt help.Not many peole are understanding of this condition combine that with our son being AS and i guess we can be the xmas guests from hell at times. I just cannot face another year of arguments and stuff because it just makes my condition worse and i need to stay well because this year with my son undergoing more treatment for his nose hes gonna need me more than ever. Ive whinged a bit i guess but it helps to get it of yer chest. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamsmum Report post Posted January 3, 2006 <'> I hope you and you're boy are a bit happyer now xmass is out the way. I know what it's like to have a selfish family. Mine are that bad i moved hundreds of miles away so my thats are with you <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted January 3, 2006 <'> HEY PAULA if u ever want to chat i also have rapid cycling mood disorder[basically bi polar like yourself] am on meds for it and under phychatrist. so totally know how u feel, regards marie x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Been there, done that and got the t-shirt to prove it! I am so sorry your sister is causing you stress, it's the last thing you need right now. I have been there as I've told you before about my son being in hospital and the lack of support I got from my own family but to answer your question, Yes, you can disown them. I disowned my sister 13yrs ago and we never spoke to 10yrs until 3yrs ago when we got back in contact again. Time is a great healer! I diowned my Mum 6mths ago and am still not speaking to her. You have to put your own and your son's mental health & physical health first and if they aren't helping you and adding to the already huge amount of stress you are under, then so be it! You do what is best for YOU and your immediate family and if the extended family don't like it, then boo them! Go with your heart and your brain sweety and you won't go far wrong! (((HUGS)))) to you Paula. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted January 3, 2006 We disowned my husbands family some years ago now, they have never seen Ben. Basically I had pneumonia and hubbys delightful family said the nurses should have put a pillow over my head while I was in hospital. That was the last straw. There was a long history of things before that but I don't think the forum has enough disc space to hold it all. If they are not supportive they become a burden that you don't need. Do what you think is right, you don't need the heartache. Viper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hey up firstly BIG BIG BIG hugs to you.. Hows about finding a book which describes what you go through on a daily level and give it to those who are having a hard time understanding what its like just to be you... How about writing one ? you could do it in diary format and it needn't be long then send it to them after they have read it they might think twice before giving you any added extra grief that you just could well do without.. I recently started to tell people what I am like when I am a little wobbly as I put it.. now some have run a mile and others have backed off and been very patient and understanding.. some find it very difficult to understand something that they don't live with. Some people cannot deal with someone feeling wobbly as they are possibly just holding it together themselves.. I did read somewhere that bi-polar can run in families could your sister ibe just holding it together herself and her moaning on at you is in fact her way of trying to pull herself together.. a kind of denial not sure what else to do. Anyway just a thought and eitherway big hugs to you and yours.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 3, 2006 It's really hard to cut a relative out of your life, but sometimes it is the best thing, in the long term. In my case, after some time, we were able to make friends again. Our relationship is different now, but it's better than it was before. So it doesn't necessarily have to mean forever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted January 3, 2006 <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> my parents threatend to cut me off at 18, then did so at 26, we made contact again and i severed contact, 4 ish years ago, you have to do what is best for you and yours, mine was no contact. C xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carol Report post Posted January 3, 2006 (edited) I have not spoken to my dad for a long time now - several years & I had a big fall out with my mum in September and have not spoken since - & to be honest it is a big relief not to put myself through all the turmoil & upset I felt before, during and after every meeting - I am just relieved to have done it and don't regret it for a minute. Life is too short and can be complex enough without having to deal with negative, selfish people. ((((big hugs))))) Carol Edited January 3, 2006 by Carol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
