Sort of Off Topic - Thinking of changing schools. - UPDATED

[fiorelli]

AFter all the hassle we have had with Louis's ex school, that his brother L still attends, and M is due to attend in September, I am seriously thinking about moving schools.

 

Still don't know whether it is the right thing, but I am fed up with L getting bullied because of what Louis was like at the school. The school, haven't really seemed to be doing a lot for him. (except putting him in the same social skills nurture group that Louis used to go to) His school work has suffered, his self esteem is at an all time low, and I think he's had enough. And I don't want M to have to go through the same thing.

 

BUT, I know he likes his friends there, I don't know how he will cope with going to a new school. M will be ok, as some of the children he currently goes to nursery with will go up to the 'new' school should I enrole them in there.

 

I know that moving schools is a decision only myself and hubby can make, but as a parent, you constantly worry that what you want to do is the right thing for your child, and not just for you.

 

Does anyone know about the procedures for changing schools?

 

I think I would be looking to change L at Easter so he is at least settled before M joins him in September. I don't think I could put L through another school year of torment and upset at his present school. (plus when you have teachers not returning after holiday's - handing in their notice - you begin to think what is wrong with the school anyway!).

 

Am I wrong to change his school? Should I try and give them more time to sort out the problems? Would you change schools?

 

 

Well, after posting this, we had a bit of a push - Lee started asking if he could change schools, and for a 5 (6 in March) year old to ask to be moved from his friends, something has got to be wrong.

 

Hubby and I have had several long hard chats, and decided we need to give it a go. We filled in enrollment forms, and I went to visit the new school today. I had a good long chat with the headmaster, and voiced my concerns. He was very good at listening, and set my mind at ease in most areas. I suppose a good thing is that they do not know Louis, and so will treat Lee as his own person, rather than 'Louis's brother'.

 

The class Lee will go into has 22 children in it. - Quite small for a primary school class!

 

I know that changing schools will not change anything immediately - but they cannot be any worse than they are now. I just pray that Lee is happy there. When I told him earlier that tomorrow is his last day at his present school, he had a big grin on his face and said 'really! Am I really going to a new school?'. I think that said it all....

Edited January 26, 2006 by fiorelli

[Nemesis]

Hi Fiorelli,

I'm afaid I don't know much about the procedure for changing schools but thought I'd share my experience.

We live in a region with a number of comprehensive schools and 2 grammar schools which select on the basis of the 11+. We thought long and hard about what was best for DS, eventually opting not to put him in for the exam and he went to one of the comprehensives which I visited twice, spoke to the head personally etc.

It was a disaster pretty much from day one. We gave it a year, with regular visits, complaints etc which achieved nothing. At this point we put DS's name on the waiting list for the grammars and he was lucky enough to get a place almost straight away (though he had to compete for it).

I was really worried about how he would cope with the move but it was undoubtedly the best thing we could have done for him. Of course all his problems didn't disappear but it has been a far better experience for him.

He had also changed schools at the end of year 4 because we relocated. At that point I was also worried about the effect on him. In the event he was much happier at the new school - whereas my DD who I hadn't been worried about never really settled there, missed her friends, never really made new ones etc.

I think the point is that although changing schools is a big upheaval there can be a lot to be gained if a child is not happy in the current set up.

I would have a good look around at alternative schools. Unless you can make a case why your son should be given special consideration I imagine it will come down to the school having a place and you meeting the admissions criteria.

Hope that helps,

Nemesis

[Sallya]

Hi Fi,

 

When D was 6, he was bullied and had lots problems with the way the school handled things, so I considered moving him to another school. I phoned the school and spoke to the headteacher, she arranged a visit and then went back for a second visit with D. I had the same decisions to make, about moving him away from his friends.

It took me six months to realise that the school were never going to help D the way he needed, so I moved him. I had to fill in a form withdrawing him from the nightmare school.

It took him a long time to settle into his new school, but he was with a teacher experienced with ASD'S, and the new school and this teacher had a whole different way of dealing with him, and gradually things became easier. In the long term, it turned out to be a good decision. So call the school you have in mind and visit. I was pulled in all sorts of directions, but in the end, it was a 'feeling' that the school was right, and the other one was very wrong, that made me change.

s

xxx

[sarahjane]

Hi

 

I am having the same dilema with my 7 yr old at present. His school has been far from perfect do not except the diagosis and have no experience of as. I contacted another school wich has an autism unit in and has several children with as to look around and had a long chat with the head teacher. However i still don't know what to do, H will find it v v v stressful to move and started crying when i mentioned it. Also he would be going into a much bigger class and school at the mo he is in a small country school. Also I have another son who is due to start in august and is nursey at present and has made freinds. At the moment H is awaiting a full educational assessment by ed psy and I am going to see how things go after that.

Good luck with whatever you deceide but it maybe an idea to visit other school you have nothing to loose.

[fiorelli]

bumping to top, as I have updated original post.

[Kathryn]

Hi fiorelli,

 

That's really positive news and it's great that your son feels so happy about it.

 

It sounds already as though you made the right decision. Let us know how he gets on.

 

K x

[Nemesis]

Wow Fiorelli,

You certainly got that sorted out fast!

I really hope it works out for the best and that your son is much happier.

Good luck

Nemesis

[Zemanski]

We moved Com at 5 because he was being bullied by his class teacher (the senco!)

 

best thing we could have done

 

Zemanski

[sylvm]

These decisions are so hard to make - we will be relocating soon and I have been looking at the schools in our new town (there are quite a few). I got off to a bad start being told by two schools that because of the mix of children in DDs year group that although there was a place, they didn't feel it would be in her interests or the interests of the other children. Although I know I could have pushed it, I really didn't want her going somewhere she is not welcome.

 

I have now visited a large primary which is happy to take her. They have plenty of learning support but I am wondering whether they will be a bit inflexible and expect her to fit in with them (when there are times she may not be able to). I am also unable to decide whether a big school is a good thing or a bad thing. It might help her get used to a larger environment (in preparation for secondary school in 2.5 years time) or will it be too much. The other choice I have is a very small school in the next town to where we are moving which is very inclusive but would involve a journey each day and we would not be part of the area community. The LEA are also reviewing the provision of school places in this area and it might be that this school could close before she was due to leave which would be disasterous.

 

Oh, well I have another school to visit tomorrow - and must see if there's any more "possibles" out there.