Am i obsessed? planning meeting

[pingu]

Hi Everyone.

 

We have the planning meeting tomorrow to discuss kierans future at mainstream, and im stressing out, i know that his teachers are on my side and to some extent i know the phychologists are in favour of statmenting him, but i always get tetchy when meetings are due, i think its because i want to try and explain everything in his defence and make myself understood on his behalf, but i always end up starting a sentance and not knowing how to end it, and then i start tripping over my tounge and things that sounded great in my head suddenly sound stupid.

Then tomorow afternoon we are having a home visit by the phychologists, to discuss a stratergy for meltdowns and various other things, including what a shambles our bedtime routine has turned into, i know they are going to throw all sorts into play like rewards/punishments, so i pre-empted this and decided i would do it my own way, so on the 1st of jan i started a new bedtime routine, i explained it all to the kids, (now here is where i become obsessed) So i think to myself, "ill keep a record of what im doing" that turns into a novel, and today i have printed off a 10 page essay on the probs we were having and the solution,. followed by all the things already tried and failed, and finally a 10 page sleep diary for all 3.

I was ok with it all and thinking i had done good, untill someone told me i was obssessed earlier, just a passing comment from someone i was speaking to) but then i thought... i might be!! am i?? I just wanted to be understood. I am worried the phychologists will see me as obsessive which is a real worry as thats one of my daughters huge problems, (OCD) now all i can think is they will think i have OCD and thats where she gets it from..

I always take things to the extreme and do things in a particular way, buts thats just how i am.

Im warbling...ill stop !!

In addition, the other thing i posted for is this. i was sat earlier doodling, and thinking of how my son is treated at school, and i wrote a poem from his point of view, it is certainly what i felt at that age when no-one understood me, anyway, please feel free to judge it, its not meant to offend anyone, but if it does im sorry, i hope you like it.

 

I am not stupid

please do not speak to me as so

I'm not deprived

I like my world

I am not unfeeling

Things do matter

I am not ungrateful

I just struggle with the rules

I am not unkind

Just mis-understood

I'm not wearing a mask

I hide behind nothing

I do love and care

I just do it in my own way

Dont judge me

just accept me

In my own right, i will always be me

In my own space i will always be free

Dont Judge me

Just accept me

For who i am

 

 

Take care

Shaz

Edited January 18, 2006 by pingu

[lainey]

Hi Everyone.

 

We have the planning meeting tomorrow to discuss kierans future at mainstream, and im stressing out, i know that his teachers are on my side and to some extent i know the phychologists are in favour of statmenting him, but i always get tetchy when meetings are due, i think its because i want to try and explain everything in his defence and make myself understood on his behalf, but i always end up starting a sentance and not knowing how to end it, and then i start tripping over my tounge and things that sounded great in my head suddenly sound stupid.

Then tomorow afternoon we are having a home visit by the phychologists, to discuss a stratergy for meltdowns and various other things, including what a shambles our bedtime routine has turned into, i know they are going to throw all sorts into play like rewards/punishments, so i pre-empted this and decided i would do it my own way, so on the 1st of jan i started a new bedtime routine, i explained it all to the kids, (now here is where i become obsessed) So i think to myself, "ill keep a record of what im doing" that turns into a novel, and today i have printed off a 10 page essay on the probs we were having and the solution,. followed by all the things already tried and failed, and finally a 10 page sleep diary for all 3.

I was ok with it all and thinking i had done good, untill someone told me i was obssessed earlier, just a passing comment from someone i was speaking to) but then i thought... i might be!! am i?? I just wanted to be understood. I am worried the phychologists will see me as obsessive which is a real worry as thats one of my daughters huge problems, (OCD) now all i can think is they will think i have OCD and thats where she gets it from..

I always take things to the extreme and do things in a particular way, buts thats just how i am.

Im warbling...ill stop !!

In addition, the other thing i posted for is this. i was sat earlier doodling, and thinking of how my son is treated at school, and i wrote a poem from his point of view, it is certainly what i felt at that age when no-one understood me, anyway, please feel free to judge it, its not meant to offend anyone, but if it does im sorry, i hope you like it.

 

I am not stupid

please do not speak to me as so

I'm not deprived

I like my world

I am not unfeeling

Things do matter

I am not ungrateful

I just struggle with the rules

I am not unkind

Just mis-understood

I'm not wearing a mask

I hide behind nothing

I do love and care

I just do it in my own way

Dont judge me

just accept me

In my own right, i will always be me

In my own space i will always be free

Dont Judge me

Just accept me

For who i am

Take care

Shaz

[lainey]

it 's totally normal the way your feeling i was the same it's called being a mum and wanting what's best for your child and at the end of the day no one will be judging you so dont worry what you say just be honest and i'm sure everything will be fine

[lainey]

it 's totally normal the way your feeling i was the same it's called being a mum and wanting what's best for your child and at the end of the day no one will be judging you so dont worry what you say just be honest and i'm sure everything will be fine

ps thought your poem was great

[tsmom]

Wow what a lovely poem.

Good luck with the meeting its always hard listening to other talking about the child you love.

[Brook]

Hi Shaz,

 

sounds like you are just feeling nervous, I am the same when it comes to meetings etc..

I have found something that has helped, might sound a bit strange but I have a practice run

in my head the day before, I go through all the things that I want to say and 'how' I am going to

say it, also I go through the things that the people I'm meeting with may say, so I get prepared with

answers at the ready, this has helped, but nine times out of ten I'm a nervous wreck just going into the

meeting but once it starts all the things I have practised in my head previous start to help and I must

say I end up getting on quite well.

 

You have prepared so much evidence because you want the best for your kids and not because you

are obsessed, if they ask questions then you have the answer for them in black and white.

 

Take some relaxing deep breaths before you go in and remember, they are not above you in any way,

you know what you are talking about you are with the kids everyday, and practice those answers in

your head. I haven't really lost it, honest.

 

A great poem by the way.

 

Take it easy.

 

Brook

[phasmid]

If you are obssesed with your son's education it is due to the fact you want it done correctly - I don't think thats a bad thing, quite the opposite in fact. Sometimes thats what it takes! You go for it.

 

Good luck today, sounds like its going to be a busy one.

[LKS]

Shaz <'> <'> Good luck. I have been accused of being obsessed in the past, but as Phas said its just wanting whats best for your child. I can understand why you have done the sleep diary because you want to show everyone what you are doing already so that either they can agree that that is the way to continue or suggest something you haven't already tried. The poem by the way was beautiful.

[madmooch]

Thats a lovely poem Shaz and i think it's great you have took all that time over your son :

[linss]

I think what is so hard for us is to take a step back from situations and just chill for a bit

Often it would really help our nerves ! ,some days if i've had lots of meetings and conversations about my son i'll be completely unable to 'come down' and relax ,my mind won't calm down.

[UltraMum]

Lovely poem

 

Hope everythings going OK in your busy day

[pingu]

Thankyou everyone for your support as always.

the meeting went well, im glad i wrote it all down now. they have decided to go down the path of statmenting, otherwise his education will come to a standstill. apparently its not easy to get him statemented but they will do all they can.

tonight they came to see us at home and we went over it all again. whilst the kids were arguing between themselves, I guess that went well too, as they did say we would be seeing a lot more of them over the years, I am lucky to have phycologists who are very understanding, but my heart goes out to all those who feel like they are swimming in custard, because even though they are great i still have the jitters each time a meetings due. (i always feel like im under the microscope)

Anyway thanks again for your replies, Im glad you liked the poem.

Shaz

x

[shintyboy]

I'm glad everything went well.By the way,you sound like a great MUM