Klou Report post Posted February 7, 2006 Hi Just wondering how demanding our ASD children are in comparison with NT ones. I only have an ASD one to worry about and he is so demanding, very difficult to occupy and I just wish he would play constructively on his own. I've got friends who I envy because their children happily play imaginative games together with no parental input or get on playing on their own for quite a while. I seem to be needed for every little thing unless I put the TV on and I feel exhausted and like I'm failing because I need time for me and to do house stuff. I work as well! klou Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted February 7, 2006 (edited) Hi Klou, Same here - my little one is best described as CONSTANT !! He finds it difficult to play on his own - and if he does, he will constantly interrupt and tell you about the game he's playing. He really doesn't cope well with free play. We began a visual timetable for him so his 'free play' is actually structured; ie; 'Play with transformers for 30 minutes'...... This way he can keep himself busy - but he feel's 'safer' as it's structured. Just reading that back - it doesn't make much sense!! Hope you understood some of it . Edited February 7, 2006 by smileymab Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 7, 2006 (edited) I think it probably does get easier as they get older because they find that their obsessions and interests tie them up more. If Martin was allowed to spend all day on the PS2 and PC I would hardly know he exists. It's only when he has to interact with other people or do anything other than his interests like: get out of bed, get dressed, get washed, eat, get out of the house, have a shower, do his homework, put his socks on (aaaaarrgghhh - particularly bad one!), get into the car, get out of the car, sort his packed lunch, go to bed and stay in bed all night! etc etc that I find him hard work. Yes ASD kids are much harder work than NT kids, that's why we get DLA for them but at the same time we have to persevere and make them able to cope in the outside world or we'll be living with them all our lives Edited February 7, 2006 by DaisyProudfoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted February 7, 2006 Hard work Hmmm let me think. YES they are damned hard work. Ben won't play on his own and even when he plays on the GQ or PS2 I get a running commentary. His demands are exhausting, "can I have this, can I watch something on TV, can you play a game for me (on PS2) can we play Monopoly AGAIN, I could go on and so can Ben believe me. As to them being more demanding than NT kids well yes, my other kids were demanding until they were about 3 then it got less but Ben and my AS DD 14 are still like 2 year olds in big bodies. Good job mother nature made it so we love them and want to look after them really Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
melly Report post Posted February 7, 2006 Yes these little things can keep us very busy! But I think that sometimes its only our won guilty consience (sp?) that makes us do that little extra. There are not that many three yr olds that would be happy to spend all moring on the cbbies website! The only reason that my little one doesn't is because (with my NT logic) I think it surely cant be good for him. Mind you if i did leave him on it for a whole day I think i'd be doing something other than the house work! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel_jayne Report post Posted February 7, 2006 I agree they are harder work,I have 1 asd son,3 HT kids, I have to be switched on constantly,as we can have a meltdowm anytime.1 minute playing happy on xbox next screaming and attacking other son. He also need's more help doing things,pouring a drink,dressing,cutting food etc.Cause he has low muscle tone he has no co-ordination. It can be a nightmare .But wouldn't be without him Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayjay Report post Posted February 7, 2006 Oh God DaisyProudfoot your son sounds exactly like mine if he is on the playstation or gameboy i hardly know i have him But if it is anything else like you said then thats it you know you have him, i think they just dont cope without that constant reminder from us parents to tell them what to do, how to do it , and when to do it, bless them jayne xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizK Report post Posted February 7, 2006 I can relate to this with my four yr old! It's been in phases for us. As a baby A was hardwork, wanted to be attached to me the whole time and I just generally found it difficult. Was dreading toddlerdom but he was actually much easier. He was quite passive, wasn't particularly tantrummy and thankfully remains so which I think it due to his short concentration span meaning his brain flits onto something else! There has to be a positive of that! However his poor concentration has meant he has always had problems occupying himself just in varying degrees. It's very hard work. I've got friends whose children will play on their own for a few hours with minimal input whereas I was ecstatic is A would occupy himself for 20 mins. I know this is awful to admit but I used to read about autistic children spending hours lining toys up and wish he'd do that just to give me a break. Things got particularly bad the last 6 months when his concentration span was dreadful and he was particularly impulsive. He'd be at me every two minutes, refuse to play in the garden on his own, unable to settle down with his own toys. Part of it was him outgrowing the baby mechanical toys he'd played with but not having the development or imagination to move onto the next stage of toys. He's wander around the house bored and loooking for mischief or slamming doors. We went out a lot though having a younger son too had to try to fit round him as well! Since Christmas though things have got better, his imagination has improved a bit more and he will play semi-imaginatively with his toys modelling play on things in his every day life or that he's seen on his favourite TV programmes. Nuirsery have been doing some play-based work with him which seems to have helped too. His impulsivity and hyperactivity seemed to burn out after Christmas too and he's been able to focus better. The downside of it is that he can now get a bit withdrawn or lost in what he is doing but guess you can't have everything! Is he more demanding than other NT kids? I don't know. He's great at the moment but we've had a particularly tough 6 months with him. I don't think he is particularly more demanding than NT kids, I see my friends struggling with problems with their NT kids that we simply don't have. I just think that our problems are different not necessarily worse but because they are not the standard 3 or 4 yr old problems it can make them harder to manage iyswim! Liz x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted February 8, 2006 LizK I completely understand where you are with the toys thing and that the hyper behaviour burned out after christmas. Beginning to wonder if DS is so hard to occupy because he is bored with what he has and hasn't progressed onto more involved toys. We have got them - playmobil etc but you can't play in the same way as you do younger age toys and that seems to be the problem. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted February 8, 2006 Yes Definately more demanding! Hayden is 4 but he's like a baby who can climb and cause destruction He has no interests other than household stuff which he wrecks, his fave place is on the window sill in just his nappy pulling the curtains and nets down then licking the windows ( it's so nice the looks he gets.....Grrrrrrr ) And the other not so nice habit of his.............Poo smearing And the Dla says he needs no more supervision than a NT 4 yr old Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 8, 2006 (edited) Definitely more demanding ... although I've only got the one! I seem to be needed for every little thing unless I put the TV on and I feel exhausted and like I'm failing because I need time for me and to do house stuff. I work as well! Klou - don't beat yourself up if you let him watch TV for a while while you get on with things I used to limit J's viewing/playing on TV/Playstation/Computer, beating myself up as it seemed to be the only thing that kept him occupied - I ended up with severe depression due to the stress of trying to keep him occupied whilst juggling a job and housekeeping. So - now the house is untidier (we go for the lived-in look ), dirtier - you should see the dust under J's bed!, and J probably watches more TV/PC/Playstation than other children of his age - but that's fine - it gives me a chance to catch my breath and to put more into encouraging his social interactions at other times. Edited February 8, 2006 by MotherEve Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted February 9, 2006 Thanks Mothereve It's nice to know there are others who feel the same way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BusyLizzie100 Report post Posted February 9, 2006 (edited) MotherEve, your words are very reassuring! I worry so much that my kids do nothing but watch videos/play on the computer. They're so hard to occupy and have huge difficulties self-occupying - one is 8 (AS), the other 6 (ASD) and the third 3, NT so far as we know but now also very addicted to videos!!! as well as running around and being loud and bothering the others and being, well... 3. At any one time the video, the DVD player and the computer will be in constant use. If not, it's hell. Edited February 9, 2006 by BusyLizzie100 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 9, 2006 MotherEve, your words are very reassuring! ... At any one time the video, the DVD player and the computer will be in constant use. If not, it's hell. We have the computer, the playstation and the Tv on - and I've only got one! I do worry that the on/off buttons will wear out before anything else! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted February 9, 2006 hi the only time i get any time to do jobs round house ect...is if my son is on the computer its the only thing that enthralls him enough to stay with it. we just moved and now have a big garden its took weeks just to get him used to it and he will go in it now with his 3 year old brother but not for more than 10 mins if im lucky -they will start fighting/screaming and howling then they come in. its like being on a convaer belt with both of them but mainly son with probs-as soon as you attempt to do anything like change the bedding or wash pots,it all starts again i get so mad with myself too as you start thinking god why can i never get anything done,i mean evening mopping the floor -turns into a marathon task that can take hours to do,inbetween the 100 questions and i want,,,,,,,i need,,,,,,,,,,,,,,will you,,,,,,,,,mumm,,,,,,,,,,ect... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted February 10, 2006 i get so mad with myself too as you start thinking god why can i never get anything done,i mean evening mopping the floor -turns into a marathon task that can take hours to do. I get my mother-in-law saying "I had 4 chldren to contend with" ( Dig Dig ) About the state of my house. Yeah Superwoman but non of yours was ASD Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizK Report post Posted February 10, 2006 LizK I completely understand where you are with the toys thing and that the hyper behaviour burned out after christmas. Beginning to wonder if DS is so hard to occupy because he is bored with what he has and hasn't progressed onto more involved toys. We have got them - playmobil etc but you can't play in the same way as you do younger age toys and that seems to be the problem HAve you got a toy library near you? I keep meaning to join our local one for inspiration. Finding toys that are suitable is tricky! Lx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
