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Review meeting at nursery

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Just off for my follow-up meeting with nursery staff and ed psych. Know I'm going to be outnumbered when I get there as there will be HT, the class teacher, the SEN (who is attending at my request), the ed psych and me.

 

Was basically told at last meeting I should defer my 4-year old from starting school in August, I' ve said no, not without good reason. If its core difficulties, then I'll have same problems next year. EP has now suggested I have a think about him being referred to a pre school assessment and development unit for children with communication, speech & language or social interaction problems. Never got much from him re this place as he said it would all depend on outcome of assessment which he hadn't completed at this point. Thought this sounded great for him and the teachers who work there will tell me outright whether they think deferring him will be in his best interests and also act as link teachers on his behalf to ensure school are aware of his problems and how to get the most from him. If referred by ed psych it will then be decided by the unit whether they feel it would be suitable for him. An ed psych, the Unit's HT, Head of SALT and another member all sit on this. SALT has told me they will also make a referral for him so hopefully he will get in there.

 

SALT has also told me that if ed psych doesn't refer him on to diagnostic team then she will as she can see that I want this to happen. So either way, I've got what I wanted first off for him, whether it leads to dx remains to be seen. SALT said she will refer him on and it will all happen pretty quickly and I should have an answer one way or the other as to whether he is ASD by end of June.

 

His behaviour has improved heaps and he has been much more manageable in last few weeks so now I'm questioning whether I've done the right thing, but it is at the back of my mind that he could kick off at any point and I'd rather know if/if not ASD. Has anyone else found that their little one's behaviour improves for a while and then kicks off again. I can't help thinking I've got a dreadful time to come for him being a wee bit easier lately.

 

I'll update after meeting to let you know how it has gone, the one thing I'm refusing to do today is say whether I'm deferring or not, I'm keeping this close to my chest so that his SEN isn't removed from him to 'prepare' him for school which is what they said would happen if I'm definitely sending him to school.

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Just as expected. They think I should defer him, say he is not socially or emotionally ready but his academic development is fine. Ed psych says that he doesn't feel it is ASD he feels it is speech difficulties that are leading to all his other problems.

 

They asked me about deferring him but told them I couldn't make that decision yesterday. They are setting him up with an IEP and will be working towards specific targets with him. He is also being referred to the assessment unit so fingers crossed he gets in. Nursery has asked that I notify them of decision by easter break as they need to know if they will be working with him for 3 months or 15 months as this will make differences to his IEP. Husband is dead against deferring him so right now I'm not sure what to do.

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How old will he be in august neda? If he will only just be at school age they may have a point ? However if he is older His difficulties wont go away in another year and you say academeically he is able. A friend of mine started her son with with a july birtday a school year ahead of little p. He is doing really well in a supportive school better than little p who I deferred. The extra year gave little p more time to play and as the resourse nursery didnt have the structure of school has meant we had lots of problems.

I feel either school or a more school strucutre enviroment was needed and weve suffered because this wasnt provided.

Go with your heart but be wary that some of these recommendations may have more to do with resourses and their planning difficulties than your son?

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Your situation seems so similar to mine when ds was moving to school. No one mentioned keeping him back but his problems were blamed on his speech and the fact that adults and children found him difficult to understand led to frustration and inappropriate behaviour. One year on from that mnursery meeting he had attacked his teacher several times, trashed the classroom, been excluded from school, been banned from clubs he had joined and was a very unhappy boy with no self esteem, but his speech was getting better!! Another year on he has been diagnosed with ADHD, will have severe dyslexia and is being assessed as to where he falls on the spectrum. I feel guilty for not acting at the point of nursery and leaving it to part way through P! and as a result he had a hellish year.

Go with your gut instinct. If you get him assessed and they are right there is nothing lost. It is obviously stiil niggling so even for your own piece of mind. I went through GP who refered to community paeds who refered on to hospital.

Good luck

Carrie

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Pumpkinpie he will be 4 1/2. Not sure if you are from Scotland or not, basically because his birthday is in February he should start school in August of this year. I would have no problems holding him back if I thought it would help him, but the more I think about it, the more I think I should send him. My husband continually tells me that if he had been born 5 weeks earlier (in December rather than February) then deferral wouldn't be an option, he feels this is a get out clause.

 

Ed psych assessment report says that his comprehension and use of language is what is expected at his age but he seems to use non-verbal gestures more than verbal. It also said he was well above average in some other areas. He feels it is his articulation of his speech that is causing his problems, that he isn't pronouncing words properly and isn't understood so has now lost confidence (he never mixed well with other children so I don't feel this is the case). They want to improve his social interaction skills with other children in the deferred year. Nursery teacher and senco say they see a big difference as he seeks them out when he needs/wants something, but I feel this is more to do with him being so much more familiar with them as he wouldn't ask a teacher from another part of the nursery for help. Nursery have also been pulling senco back very slowly since last meeting and he seems to be coping with this, its his interaction with others that seems to be the problem.

 

I've left message with SALT to arrange next meeting to ask about his "speech difficulties" and how we can tackle this, whether they feel its justification for deferral from school and also to get the referral started, so I'm definitely going for ASD assessment with the diagnostic team.

 

I just can't helping thinking who can/cannot be trusted? Are they acting in his best interests? Am I being selfish wanting him to start school when they say he shouldn't. Obviously I know this is the kind of questions everyone asks themselves, but right now I'm not sure I could answer any of them.

 

Thanks for your replies, its great to know there are others who have been or are going through similar problems.

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I will be facing the same problem as you very shortly and i am so unsure of what to do.

I am hoping my little one will finally have his diagnoises in April

However i dont think they should put him forward to go to school next year i really dont think he is ready. He stands out so much against his class mates and yet i have been told because his birthday is in november i will have to fight hard to keep him back.

Where is the sense in that if a child is not ready to move on surely it should be a joint decision not just his PRECAT TEAM

 

I have come to the conclusion there are more able people on this site to deal with our childrens need then those so called qualified people who sit there and get a window view on what is going on

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