Going back to school

[OPooh]

Has anyone got any tips on how I can reduce his anxiety? He's really behaving towards his worse because he's so anxious and upset about returning to school. He says everyone is nasty and no-one likes him - but the school and some parents there said it's just his perspective and that isn't how it is.

[Brook]

Has anyone got any tips on how I can reduce his anxiety? He's really behaving towards his worse because he's so anxious and upset about returning to school. He says everyone is nasty and no-one likes him - but the school and some parents there said it's just his perspective and that isn't how it is.

Hi Opooh,

 

Sorry haven't any tips, but I remember your thread about 'percieved bullying', did you manage to

keep a diary of the things he has said??

 

I know it's hard to know what to do, my son was VERY anxious about school, I think they are making too

much about it just being his 'perspective' on things. If it is really making him anxious then they need to

look into this further and help and support him to bring anxiety levels down.

 

Sorry no help, but I'm sure someone will be along soon.

 

Brook

[OPooh]

Hi Opooh,

 

Sorry haven't any tips, but I remember your thread about 'percieved bullying', did you manage to

keep a diary of the things he has said??

 

I know it's hard to know what to do, my son was VERY anxious about school, I think they are making too

much about it just being his 'perspective' on things. If it is really making him anxious then they need to

look into this further and help and support him to bring anxiety levels down.

 

Sorry no help, but I'm sure someone will be along soon.

 

Brook

 

You know I was convinced by them so much that it was him that I didn't. Have been trying to get him to write it down - but again that's not happening because he has trouble with his emotions and how he's feeling never mind trying to communicate it. Think I will definitely keep a diary and a diary of what the school are saying they are doing about it. They have started to help and it has improved because he's said there is one little boy who is nice. Just so heart breaking and I feel so helpless.

 

Thanks.

[oracle]

It does not real matter if it is 'his' perception to him it's real and it's happening. I know that this is little comfort to yourself and it is one of the hardest things to get across to schools. I have been in a few myself trying to explain that even if it is the wrong perspective that does not make it less real to the child. The way forward is to try to find shared meanings and understandings about situations and that means giving lots of time to the problem, and I would suggest bringing in the Autism Outreach worker to try and find a way through this. Ours is very good and never rubbishes what the child's version of events was or is.

 

It's really a bit like unpicking some knitting when you drop a stitch. It can take for ever but you eventually discover where you dropped the stitch. There are reasons why your son feels unhappy and anxious and bullied. To him they are real and he needs him sorting all of this out.

 

Oracle

[OPooh]

Thanks. How do I get an autism outreach worker?

 

I think one of the problems is that he hasn't officially got a dx yet (is being assessed currently) and up until the ed psych agreed with me they've been disagreeing.

 

Will go in and talk to them again. Thanks.

[oracle]

In our Authority if they are having an assessment then you can usually access the service provision. No matter what they are meant to look at the needs of the child and not the label. Any child here who is under assessment is made known to the Outreach team. I would start by asking if this is the case with your son? If not ask if they can be included. How long is this assessment going to take? If it's a long time then they need to be meeting his needs now no matter what the end result is.

 

How old is your son - sorry I should know this? If he is young then his perception will mature along with him. Well it did for mine - bit for now he clearly needs help and support and not to be told that he keeps getting it wrong and does not understand.

 

Oracle

Edited April 17, 2006 by oracle

[OPooh]

He's 9 - 10 at christmas. We are off to see the paed on Wednesday so would that be the best person to ask?

[oracle]

He's 9 - 10 at christmas. We are off to see the paed on Wednesday so would that be the best person to ask?

 

In theory most certianly. So long as they have a good knowledge of ASD and given that they are assessing for this at the moment then yes. Something in writting from the Pead about input form the Outreach Team should be useful. I would also ask if they are all working together in your Authority? This is the way service provision is meant to be going - all working together. Once a child is being assessed here the Pead then liases with all service providers to make sure they know what is going on - she is actually part of the Outreach Team. In theory that should lead to wonderful provision In practice the team is too small ot be effective BUT in cases like this they are worth their weight in gold as long as the school will listen to them

 

Oracle

Edited April 17, 2006 by oracle

[OPooh]

No-one's really explaining things to me to be honest.

 

We saw the paed and she immediately thought I was right and that he has aspergers.

 

She then got SALT, the ed psych and someone else to observe him. I thought that then what was going to happen is that we would be called back to fill some questionnaire and then would get help and a dx.

 

In reality we've had our iep updated by the ed psych and the school seeming to be trying to do stuff but not really - like agreeing to a homeschool link book but in practise it gets "lost" and not used. The follow up appointment wasn't forthcoming and no-one seems to know even who is dealing with his case now

 

So anyway I've managed to secure this meeting with paed wednesday but apart from that I'm a bit confused of what happens....and have been knocked back so long I keep thinking he's fine and is playing up (like what other people say) but know in my heart of hearts that this is wishful thinking and really he's not ok and isn't getting the help.

 

Thank you so kindy for your support.

[oracle]

It sounds as if they sort of have a multi agency assessment in practice - but not a very good one

 

I would stress the need to have this sorted out asap as things are going down hill fast at school. Ask if he can have a formal assessment - if you do not no one else will. To do this the Ed Psy and the Speech Therapist should be seeing him and feeding back to the Pead. The IEP has nothing to do with this at all. I would imagine that you would have to do the questionnaire which took us about 4 hours to do.

 

Go with your gut on this one and do not let them fob you off. I have found it helpful to write down the things I want to address and the questions I want to ask before an appointment. Go through them one by one and let them know that you mean business.

 

Oracle

[JsMum]

Could you make an appointment with the Senco on Monday and keep him off until the senco understands his anxieties, and a plan can be put in place, so for instance a named teacher to go to if he is feeling anxious where he can go somewhere calming, like the reading corner, a named child that could act as a buddie, that will want to be with your son at breaks and dinner time, and the class seating to be arranged where he feels safe, so near the teacher with a group of children that your son gets on with.

 

Also is this a mainstream school?

 

If he is very nervous and anxious then a school for ASD children might suit him better as they take into account all the problems your son will have.

 

If he is really anxious I wouldnt send him and talk to the senco and contact your GP.

 

J has anxiety and if it isnt identified the anxiety can cause very concerning behaviour so I would listten and understand his anxieties and show him that you are trying to sort it out.

 

Like your arranging a meeting,

 

If the school dont understand AS or ASD this might be very difficult for them to understand your sons anxieties.

 

Keep a record too so you can explain all this to your peadatrition and visit your parentpartnership.

 

JsMum

[OPooh]

Thanks this sounds sort of like what is going on. They wont give him a child buddy as they said they don't have a problem in the school instead he does have a mdsa buddy. I tried to get them to use a home-school link book and although they agree in princile it doesn't happen in practice. The ed pysch and salt are feeding back to paed, I think, I hope and should find out more tomorrow. Talked with ds about the possibility of changing schools because this is what he keeps asking for. Yes it is mainstream - but they claim that my son is this "borderline" and better suited to mainstream.

 

Thanks for your help.

[JsMum]

what about having a look on the websites of schools that take ASD and AS and see what you think, also NAS have paris, a service that takes you straight to specific schools in your area or boundary, there is no such thing as boarderline, ASD is a broad spectrum and if he fits in that then he has ASD no matter how boarderline they are suggesting.

 

Also what about visiting some schools that take AS ASD children and having a look?

 

If at the end of the day your son is communicated quite clearly he isnt happy in the school because there not wholey recognising his AS ASD because the opinion is he is boarderline, then I would be enclined to look at another school.

 

Has your son got an IEP, Has he had a assessment of special educational needs?

 

 

Has he got a statement?

 

 

I would suggest from your comments of the home school book and there imcompleteness, it sounds to me there just not interested.

 

I would urge you to get some more advice on your sons education, like ACE or IPSEA.

 

It seems there sweeping your sons difficulties under the boarderline carpet and that isnt going to get him his needs met.

 

 

JsMum

[OPooh]

Thanks.

 

I know the local school that takes children with asd is very difficult to get into currently as it was going to be closed. Will look up those things you have suggested. Thank you.

[JsMum]

Ring your local LEA and ask for a list of schools that the LEA will fund in your area and boundary,

also talk to the NAS they might know more on educational funding.

If the school your interested in was under risks of closing then I would ask the school for a visit around it regaurdless if its been threatened with closure.

 

I wonder why special schools are closing down?

 

JsMum