Am i over reacting

[KDMA]

Hi,

 

I have had lots of problems with m school since he has been there. One I wrote about a little while ago and put in a behaviour chart myself and so far so godd as he has only swore 3 times since I put it in.

 

Well.

 

M has aspergers and Dyspraxia

 

On Friday a little boy in M class got given a reading book and told M that it was a baby book. A little gitl said you've got a baby book once and M continued it. Unfortunely m doesn't know when to stop. He was taken out asnd ask why he did it and M said because he had a baby book. I asked him and he told me the full story as above. The teacher then said to M if someone was to call you a baby for not being able to kick a ball properly (he has Dyspraxia)you wouldn't like it.

 

M get taunted a fair bit, but doesn't seem to understand they are being unkind to him and in this case he claims he was just telling the truth in his opiion the boy did have a baby book.

 

I wrote that it is a difficult one as he doesn't understand when children are taunting him so it may be he didn't realise he was being unkind and to him was telling the truth an this is why he needs 1:1 to interevene and make M understand.

 

This is the teachers reply

 

M does not always need 1:1 for the activity he is understanding which was the case on Fridaqy.

 

 

It will not help him to organise himself or learn to control his behaviour if he has constant support. We are trying to guide his social behaviour in a positive manner.

 

This is one situation of a few. I am very unhappy with the school and am seriously thinking of moving to another school. Have they handelled this right and me being over sensitive do you think.

[Paula]

If youre unhappy with the school and youre his mum you know whats best for youre child then id remove him and find a school that youre happy with.

 

I dont think youre over reacting.Especially if its just one incident in a long line of incidents.

 

If you start now you may get him into another school to start in september.

[pumpkinpie]

If m is having problems in socail situations what is the school doing about it? Have they considered something like circle of friends, buddy scheme etc.

They need to understand your sons needs but also he needs support to understand others, so other than telling him off how are they tackling this?

[PinkSapphireAngel]

You are soooo NOT over reacting hun, I would be livid especially with them assuming they know how much he is actually understanding.

My ds Luke is 11 and is just the same, also has AS/ASD/Dyspraxia and he tends to do things like not realise he is being teased (also sometimes thinks he is being picked on when he actually is not) and can definately carry a joke on too long without realising the effect on another child.

 

As for the school making a comment about his ball skills that is so unfair and uncalled for, makes the teacher no better than those kids who taunt him.

 

I feel my ds needs 1 to 1 for the same reason as yours, we are now finally getting statutory assessment (happening at moment) but only after going to SENDIST.

 

I hope whatever you decide to do it works out for you and your son.

[KDMA]

Well i have spoken to M autistic nurse, my daughters nursery school teacher (who is a qualified primary school teacher and taught my son when he was at nursery) and a friend who is a special needs asssiatant sadly not in this area and they all think the school is out of order. I have been advised what i had already decided and to get him out of this school. The school say he has mild aspergers if at all, but he is manipulative and knows how to use it. Th A nurse says this is typical of the school thinking they know everything and think they know better than the medical staff. I have also spoke to some other parents and M is not the only child struggling within the school.

 

I have a meeting with the head on Monday and am going to visit other schools next week and the week after and hopefully he will be able to start a new school after summer holiday. Not sure how to tell M yet.

 

Thanks for all the comments they really help.

[Flora]

Well i have spoken to M autistic nurse, my daughters nursery school teacher (who is a qualified primary school teacher and taught my son when he was at nursery) and a friend who is a special needs asssiatant sadly not in this area and they all think the school is out of order. I have been advised what i had already decided and to get him out of this school. The school say he has mild aspergers if at all, but he is manipulative and knows how to use it. Th A nurse says this is typical of the school thinking they know everything and think they know better than the medical staff. I have also spoke to some other parents and M is not the only child struggling within the school.

 

I have a meeting with the head on Monday and am going to visit other schools next week and the week after and hopefully he will be able to start a new school after summer holiday. Not sure how to tell M yet.

 

Thanks for all the comments they really help.

 

It seems to be a bit of an epidemic; schools referring to 'mild traits', when a child has a dx and presents with the triad of difficulties and a few extras thrown in! The teacher's at my sons school are very dismissive and have only given in to providing a piddling amount of adjustments because they were leant on by the LEA and the autism outreach service. Other than that they seem to go out of their way to NOT support him.

 

I have in the past been very tollerant with my son's school but not any more.

 

Lauren

[curra]

M does not always need 1:1 for the activity he is understanding which was the case on Fridaqy.

It will not help him to organise himself or learn to control his behaviour if he has constant support. We are trying to guide his social behaviour in a positive manner.

 

This is one situation of a few. I am very unhappy with the school and am seriously thinking of moving to another school. Have they handelled this right and me being over sensitive do you think.

 

KDMA,

If they think that your son will learn to organise himself without support is because they do not acknowledge his dx or they have no clue about ASD. This same thing happened to my son for years, even with a dx, he has never been able to organise himself even now that he's 12 because he has no statement and his teachers have always thought that he's just careless. I don't think that you are being oversensitive at all. I hope you find a better school for your son but if you leave him where he is keep up the fight until they provide your son with the support that he needs!

All the best for your little one.

 

<'> Curra