The child's views

[Tez]

I asked A to write up his views of what he wants from education to submit to SENDIST for his tribunal. Having read what he's written, I'm choked, I'm just so proud of him. I did share his thoughts of his prosopagnosia that he'd written about for an English assignment a few weeks ago with a few people off board, but I thought I'd share these views more generally. Just hope that the panel at SENDIST take them on board.

 

A while ago I over heard my mum telling my dad that the government no longer wanted children to be pandas, they wanted them changed into sheep. I was a bit confused, why would the government want children changed into sheep? I know that I don't always understand non-literal language, so I did an internet search to see what she was talking about. The first thing I found suggested that the government wanted children to blindly follow what they were told and not to think. I was confused. Why would the government want that? Then I discovered the government's "Every child matters" policy and the government do want us to be sheep, but not in the way I thought, blindly following what we're told in a non-thinking way, but by Staying safe, being Healthy, Enjoying and achieving, achieving Economic wellbeing and making a Positive contribution. I want all of that, so I think the government have got their rhetoric about right.

 

But I don't just want rhetoric; I really want all those things. I want to be safe. When I was in school I wasn't safe. The teachers tried to help me and keep me safe, but it just didn't happen. I'm safe now I'm at home and I don't want to be put in a situation where I don't feel safe again. Going to a different school wouldn't help. I want to stay at home and be educated. Most people don't understand how difficult it is for me to feel safe. I don't recognise faces, and this can be very scary. I have lots of shut downs outside of the house and I don't know what is happening around me and can't respond, this makes me feel anxious. I'm bullied a lot and nobody has been able to stop this. I'm happy now I'm at home that this no longer happens.

 

I want to be healthy. Being at school made me ill. There were so many things that I just couldn't cope with. Things are much better now I'm being taught at home, but it's still very difficult when I go out of the house. I like the way that now I'm at home things are predictable. There are still things that hurt my ears, or cause me to shut down, but because I can generally predict what is going to happen, I cope much better and it doesn't make me so ill. I need predictability in most things. I don't like change, it causes too many problems. I still have problems with my sleep that are making me ill, but there is not much I can do about that. I think it would be better if I could have my lessons later in the day, but if the only way I can stay at home is to have them in the morning, then I'd rather be woken up or not have the lessons at all.

 

I want to enjoy and achieve. I do enjoy learning, but there are some subjects that I hate. I hate English and I hate Maths, even though I'm good at it, but I realise that I have to learn these subjects, but I would like to learn about things that I'm really interested in like modelling and texturing on computers and history. But, I only want to learn these things if I can learn them from home, I don't want to have to go back to school to learn them. I never learnt anything at school, there was just too many other things to cope with like the smells and the noise. I used to have to ask my mum to help me when I got home and she would phone my friend P and ask to look at his books to see what I was supposed to be doing and then teach me, so it was like having to do twice as much work as everyone else. I've only ever learnt from my mum and cartoons. Now I'm older I can sometimes work it out from the internet and books myself, but teachers never seem to understand that they have to stop talking for me to learn. A few words are ok but they just talk and talk and after the first few words although I'm hearing, I'm not understanding what's being said and because I'm trying to follow what they're saying, I'm not seeing or thinking, so everything just becomes a blur. What I would really like to do, is to continue learning at home, taking A levels after my GCSEs and then an Open University degree or some other distant learning qualification. I know that I would never achieve this if I had to go back to school because I never learnt anything in the classroom, even when they tried teaching me one to one with S K, my work is much better now.

 

My mum keeps telling me that people worry that I'm not getting any social interaction. I don't want social interaction. Social interaction worries me, it makes me feel isolated, it makes me feel odd, it makes me feel unsafe. I do have a few friends who I see several times a week, but I can only cope with these on a one to one basis, when they come round together I can't stand it and I usually try to find somewhere quiet by myself. I do like seeing these friends, but I don't miss them when they are on holiday or too busy with homework to come. Really, I just want someone to play games with, I don't want to chat, or share thoughts or experiences and I can always play chess with my internet friends. I didn't enjoy mixing with other children at school. I do not think I got any benefit from it, it merely made me ill. I hope that you won't make me mix with them again. I cannot see what it would achieve.

 

I do want economic well being. I think that this means that I want to be rich or at least have enough money to do what I want and not have to worry about having enough money to pay the bills. To do this, I know that I'm going to have to get a job and work. I think I can do this if I have enough qualifications and if I choose what I do carefully. I couldn't do any ordinary job because the problems I have with my senses and my sleep wouldn't let me, but I think I could work from home as a computer consultant or maybe work somewhere in the desert as a geologist.

 

I want to make a positive contribution. When I was diagnosed I was told to do an internet search for famous people with autism. There were many of my heroes, Bobby Fischer and Bill Gates for instance. I know that it is possible to make a positive contribution if I try, but I need to be allowed to do it in my way. I need people to understand that I don't work in the same way as other people, I don't want the same things as other people, I don't need the same things as other people, and that I think and act differently because my brain is wired differently. If you leave me alone to be me, I can make a positive contribution to the world. I needn't be a drain on the benefit system. I know that I couldn't go back into school or any other educational set up, I don't know how I managed to continue going for so long. I could never be a sheep that just follows others. Allow me to be different, allow me to be me, and maybe my unusual way of thinking and viewing the world will allow me to take the world forward in some way, like other famous autistics such as Einstein and Bill Gates.

Edited June 30, 2006 by Tez

[Flora]

Tez and A... thank you so very very much for letting us read that.

 

I'm totally <'>

 

Gulp

 

The panel at SENDIST would have to be robots and out of their minds not to take notice of that and do the right thing by your son Tez.

 

Thank you

 

Lauren <'>

[BusyLizzie100]

Wow. That is amazing. Thank you so much for your sharing that with us. You have a truly amazing son.

[justamom]

Wow, you sure should be very proud what a lovely piece of work..... Very touching!!!

[curra]

That's really something to be proud of!

Thanks for sharing it with us.

 

 

I asked my son to write his views for the assessment and he refused. He doesn't want to be reminded that he has ASD

 

Curra

[Tez]

Curra Fortunately A is ok about having an ASD. He was diagnosed late, at 12, and had already pretty much worked out that he was very different to others, and the doctors presented it in a very positive way to him. What he's not ok about is people trying to change him and make him "normal" and he's petrified he's going to be forced back into school, so whilst he hates writing or sharing his thoughts, he will do anything, to let people know that there's no way that he will go back to school willingly and that it's not in his best interests.

 

Fortunately, it's written into his statement that he will be educated at home, but the LEA have chosen to inform us in their case statement that they are aiming for rapid reintegration, something that they had previously claimed to understand was not possible, and which is contrary to all expert advice.

Edited June 30, 2006 by Tez

[phasmid]

What an amazing insight into his world your young man has given Sendist (and us) here Tez...WOW!

 

Thank you A for letting us share that.

[Suze]

cor.......flippin heck.........thats really done me in........big lump in the throat. I am constantly in awe of our children tez I bet your so proud to convey so well how he feels.........roll on the tribunal , they,ll be putty in your hands <'> Suzex.

[PinkSapphireAngel]

I think after all the books etc I have read and reccomended to teachers etc to try to help myself and others understand, I think what your boys has written is the most incredible and open thing I have ever read.

 

Would you mind if I let my dh read that as I know he is particularly struggling to understand our 11 year son Luke and his ASD?

 

If the tribunal and LEA do not make the RIGHT decisions after reading that then there really is no hope for the system at all.

[Tez]

PSH Feel free to let your DH read it. Hope it helps.

[LKS]

Tez I couldn't believe it when I read this. How can the professionals fail to understand when they read such a powerful piece of writing. God I bet you are so proud. I that your son is given the opportunities to do what he wants to do and in the way he wants to do them <'>

[Canopus]

This is an excellent well written article.

[Zemanski]

A is a real star, I just can't see how others can't see that in him, I'm sure that if I knew him I would love him to bits

 

Z

[Tez]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I know that there are several other people with teenage children who are debating whether or not to take their children out of school. We agonised over that decision long and hard, and eventually managed to achieve a half measue of A being signed off sick but remaining registered at the school. It was the best thing that we have ever done and I wish we'd done it sooner. At the age of 4 we gave the education system a bright, happy child, at the age of 13, they gave us back an adolescent who was barely recognisable as a human. I am proud of what we have achieved over the past year since A has been off school. I am proud of the way in which A has fought back. We're not there yet, but we have managed to regain our son. A year ago, he didn't have this sense of self or the ability to express his needs. Taking him out of the education system allowed him to once again take control of his life and to gain a sense of purpose. I think that A's ability to present his views in this manner, vindicates our decision. I hope it helps someone else to make difficult decisions.