help pls

[nvapid]

the school has been a living nightmare. with every letter we write to the school we get abuse and contempt hurled back. we have only a week and a half left of being there and the HT is taking EVERY oppertunity to put her boot in before we leave so that (in her mind) we wont have the time, oppertunity or energy to respond.

 

today B found a table knife and was waving it around joking with a freind. another boy grabbed the knife by the blade and tried to pull it off him. the result was a sliced hand. which, B, being as truthfully told the teacher he knew it was wrong and that it was all his fault. the other boy was taken to the doctor's, possibly the hospitol. they are calling the incident a stabbing and they are not calling it an accident.

 

suspension/expulsion is immenant. the HT was not there today - so she will want a meeting tomorrow. i have been narrowly avioding a meeting alone with this woman for months as she is a complete bully. my dh is out of the country and the neighbors are in another city tomorrow... and this is what the HT has been waiting for.

 

i need a laywer - any recomendations? or help of any kind? Parent partnership are absolutely hostile here so they are not even an option...

Edited July 12, 2006 by nvapid

[phasmid]

Mrs P is the expert on exclusions in this house (she chairs the panels that parents appeal to after school have issued exclusion). Bear with me and when she is free I'll run your post past her and see what we can suggest.

 

Don't panic!

[mrs phasmid]

the school has been a living nightmare. with every letter we write to the school we get abuse and contempt hurled back. we have only a week and a half left of being there and the HT is taking EVERY oppertunity to put her boot in before we leave so that (in her mind) we wont have the time, oppertunity or energy to respond.

 

today B found a table knife and was waving it around joking with a freind. another boy grabbed the knife by the blade and tried to pull it off him. the result was a sliced hand. which, B, being as truthfully told the teacher he knew it was wrong and that it was all his fault. the other boy was taken to the doctor's, possibly the hospitol. they are calling the incident a stabbing and they are not calling it an accident.

 

suspension/expulsion is immenant. the HT was not there today - so she will want a meeting tomorrow. i have been narrowly avioding a meeting alone with this woman for months as she is a complete bully. my dh is out of the country and the neighbors are in another city tomorrow... and this is what the HT has been waiting for.

 

i need a laywer - any recomendations? or help of any kind? Parent partnership are absolutely hostile here so they are not even an option...

 

 

first question i need answered does B have a statement and /or a dx of anything and what age?

Edited July 12, 2006 by mrs phasmid

[jen]

The same thing happened with our sons infant school and the school excluded him 2 days prior to the end of term for having a meltdown. During the meltdown two TA tried to move him so my child kicked out in response. Hence my child was excluded for verbal abuse to children and physical abuse to two teachers.

 

I took them to tribunal knowing all that it would make no difference to my child but it would benefit other children who were in the school or coming into the school. I represented myself and had pleasure in seeing and watching her being in discomfort at the tribunal. This was so stressful she ended up in tears. (Theres a saying what goes around comes!). I won the tribunal and the headmistress and teachers have now changed what they do and how they handle SEN children. I was lucky because I had always wrote letters to the school stating my concerns and how I coudl see my child deteriorating warning signs etc. I also used the home and school diary to write my concerns. All these concerns had been ignored, even the letter I wrote to the govnors stating my concerns.

 

So if she decides to exclude go to tribunal. But it is very frustrating when you have to put up with a school with this attitude.

 

The injury to the child should of been recorded in the accident book you have a right to see this as it envolved your child.

 

 

Jen

[jb1964]

Hi Nvapid,

 

Sorry can't help but I'm sure Phasmid will be back soon with some great advice.

 

Hang on in there

Be strong & take care,

Jb

[jen]

The other alternative you can do is take your son out of school until the end of term. Then the ball in not in the schools court!

 

Keep your chin up.

 

 

Jen

[phasmid]

The only problem with that option is that it doesn't stop the school taking any measures they see fit too over this.

Edited July 12, 2006 by phasmid

[nvapid]

The only problem with that option is that it doesn't stop the school taking any measures they see fit too over this.

 

 

B has a dx of Aspergers from year 4 and is at the end of year six. The HT has gone out of her way to attack me personally in the last 4 letters - three of them having nothing to do with our son or the school at all. the last time she asked for a meeting she shouted at me on the phone that it was to discuss "you" - I have since been avioding her (we asked for a detailed written agenda for the meeting twice in writing and although she responeded to the letters she has never supplied the agenda.)

Edited July 12, 2006 by phasmid

[mrs phasmid]

hi ,

as phas said this is my area of expertise. the booklet you need to get hold of is DfES/0354/2004 this is downloadable from net, and what i have in front of me you could google this and it is the first one downloadable in pdf. these are all areas of special interst to you. however the most important is chapter42 page 23 pupils with special educational needs which outlines the guidance.

 

by not excluding him immediately, [if they say the head is the only one who can do this, that is bull poo, who ever is the acting head in the heads abscence can do so], they have effectively said no-one in the school was in threat of implied or actual violence towards them, and, that he was not deemed to be carrying an offensive weapon, as these would be two grounds for immediate permenant exclusion. they also do not seem from what you said to have informed the police so obviously they also do not deem a criminal offence has taken place in their eyes. anything the other childs parents do is irrelevant, they cannot be allowed under law to influence any decision to exclude or not. this document also gives you model letters which should be sent to you and a time frame.

 

please also see pinned link at the top of education forum to pinned linksfor IPSEA EXCLUSION ADVISE SHEETS

 

the question also needs to be asked if this happened at lunchtime, if not, what was a knife doing laying around [health and safety issue] if it was lunchtime then B had the knife 'in context' and therefore cannot be deemed an offensive weapon, misuse of equipement perhaps.

 

well done for getting your friend to take B's side of things, it should have been done at school, as should a deposition from any witnesses and from the other lad himself, he might actually say "well if i hadnt grabbed it it wouldn't have happened" because, at the end of the day, this is actually 6 of one and 1/2 dozen of other no B shouldn't have waved the knife around but equally the other child at their age should have known beter, it is not as if B lunged at him or ran afterhim is it?

 

have a look at the download and get your highlighter out.

 

<'>

 

mrs phas

[phasmid]

Do not let the school steam-roller you today. Ask for time to take things in/seek advice etc if you need to. At no point admit (or allow your son to admit) he did wrong. Always refer to what happened as an accident/incident and get them to do the same...from your description they cannot refer to this as a stabbing so do not let that go on record without challenge. If they do go down the route of permenant exclusion on the grounds of danger to others etc pull them up usuing the points Mrs P outlined above. Stay strong.

 

Let us know how it goes/if we can help.

[nvapid]

At no point admit (or allow your son to admit) he did wrong.

 

 

too late... and B when he gets stressed always says it is his fault. all this happened before they called me.they took immediate depostitions from the children who all say that B "stabbed" the other boy. the police have not shown up at my door step yet and i am screening my calls

[curra]

Hi nvapid,

 

I'm so sorry you're going through such a bad time. Something similar happened to my son last month (you can read about it in the thread "excluded!") and he also admitted to it although there were no adult witnesses. He was so anxious when the teachers questioned him that he just said what he thought they wanted to hear so that they would leave him alone. But don't panic. I assume that your son is over 10. If there were police charges, you can ask to talk to the police officer before they talk to your son and request that the person who talks to your son has knowledge of autism and that they are sensitive about this. Explain that it was an accident even if your son admitted it, and say that he cannot reflect over his actions like NT children of his age.

 

Good luck !

<'> <'> Curra

[Suze]

oh this is awful, I feel so sorry for you ,did the school ask for any input from an autism support worker??..........because I know the ones in our area would be in school now wanting to know exactly how this situation arose..........and offering an autistic insight into the situation.Hope your o.k. Suzex <'>

[phasmid]

too late... and B when he gets stressed always says it is his fault. all this happened before they called me.they took immediate depostitions from the children who all say that B "stabbed" the other boy. the police have not shown up at my door step yet and i am screening my calls

 

 

Don't worry too much about that, as curra says:

 

Explain that it was an accident even if your son admitted it, and say that he cannot reflect over his actions like NT children of his age.

 

Let us know what happens.

[phasmid]

Ok. It is now nearly two FULL DAYS since this incident occured. What have the school done so far apart from make threatening noises at you? The longer they leave this the weaker their case is getting that he is a danger to himself, staff or pupils. If he was/is they should have taken immediate steps to prevent his return to school yesterday...never mind today! What are they playing at? I'd be inclined to take a letter to the school today asking them what, if anything, they intend to do? As, to date they have had at least 3 opprtunities to act:

 

The acting head could (should) have acted in the heads abscence: strike 1.

 

The head was in school yesterday I assume and still didn't act: strike 2.

 

B, I assume, is in school today and the head had all day yesterday 'to investigate' and did not prevent him being there today: strike 3.

 

The DfES Guidance on exclusions from schools p2 item 1.4 does say 'except in exceptional circumstances' that 'exclusions should not be issued in the heat of the moment'- they could have argued this was an exceptional circumstance (see point a or d). This is the document Mrs P gave details of above. They did not choose to issue an immediate exclusion -fixed or otherwise,therefore it can be argued that they did not see his continued presence as a danger. Furthermore, the head had a whole day to investigate this matter yesterday and should have been in a position to act by the end of the school day. They failed to do so. It could be argued he was seeking advice - this is an urgent matter so advice should have been readily given to him/her from the LEA. The threat of this hanging over you/B is only adding to his stress levels. If the school are going to act they should get on with it! Then you can appeal it!

 

 

I am trying to find out for you if there is a time limit within which the school must act here.

[nvapid]

What are they playing at?

 

head games - the ht is famous for it.

 

we got a letter today stating that brian was indeed waving a knife - nothing else. no actions. no sanctions. nothing. this does not mean this is over - she likes to send letters on a friday to upset you over the weekend and leave you hanging. the other boy was back in school the next day with no bandage or even a plaster.

[phasmid]

Ok, so the HT likes to play games - play them back! I need to know the answers to the following questions:

 

1. Where did the knife come from?

 

2. What time of day did this happen?

 

3. Was it in the dining area?

 

This information will help to form the basis of a letter you can give to the school first thing Monday. She has had the chance to issue a letter which could have sorted this out. You indicate that this is par for the course and another will follow - you're going to get in first!