Cat

[Zemanski]

Just had a mega slanging match with Com about the cat.

 

He accepted that Dot was going to get a cat for her birthday and even though we knew he didn't like animals we decided to go ahead because Dot has wanted a pet for so long and because she's been having a tough time and we thought it would help her feel cared for (she really wanted a dog but we knew he hated dogs).

 

The trouble is that she joined the family as a small kitten with a penchant for leaping on you with very sharp claws and a taste for meat (one of Com's major aversions) just at the time things hit hyper-critical with school - after being excluded for reacting violently to someone putting meat in his lunchbox - and he transferred his anger to her when he stopped going to school.

 

Now I don't mind him not liking her and we can cope with him shutting her out of rooms all the time (we have a big house so she has plenty of space) but he is constantly calling her dumb and blaming her for making his life miserable, aiming kicks at her as she passes (haven't seen one connect so I don't think he's actually intending to hit her) and generally being really nasty to us about her.

 

Today he told me I shouldn't feed her and had a meltdown when I said she needed food and as she is our responsibility I had to feed her.

He reckons he is leaving home to live in the garden because life with a cat (who hardly goes near him and doesn't scratch at all any more) is unbearable and we love the cat more than him. He denies having agreed it was ok to get her and doesn't see why she is our responsibility at all. He says she is evil and knows what she is doing to annoy him.

 

Anyway, I ended up yelling at him that our lives revolve too much around him and his needs and wishes and for once I'm glad we did something for Dot rather than him and that he'll just have to put up with it and it's time he treated other people and living things with some respect......

 

had a really good go at him with lots of home truths thrown in but now he's shut himself in a room and I'm feeling guilty.

 

ho hum

 

Zemanski

[phasmid]

<'> <'> For you, Dot, Com and the cat!

[Zemanski]

Thanks, Phas - I think I just needed to sound off about it

 

by the way - where's Mrs Phas? we were expecting her for bilberry pancakes this morning

 

Z

[phasmid]

She's got to stay here today...I have things planned for the afternoon!

[phasmid]

No, nothing like that!

 

Besides Mrs P says she is no longer speaking to you or Nemo as you have a supply of Blueberries from somewhere other than the supermarket! <'>

[brooke]

its difficult to please everyone i think you have done the right thing because we do make a lot of sacrifices for our as/asd children but they also have to learn things cant always go their way. Hope you and Com feel better soon

Love

Brooke

[Zemanski]

I thought that was why she was heading up the M1 so she could share them for breakfast?! - maybe tommorrow, as you have plans for this afternoon?

 

Z

[Guest flutter]

<'> <'>

for u all been too stressful for u lately

but dont feel guilty, cos sometimes i think that they have to be given truth sometimes, i bet he is stil in the "fallout" from u hols

Cx

Edited July 27, 2006 by flutter

[Zemanski]

Thanks Brooke and Flutter, you're both right

 

It occurred to me that I had been talking to Nemo about him getting his stitches out tomorrow and that may well be unsettling him, I know he is worried about it as he had a strop with the nurse when his dressings were changed on Tuesday.

 

He's downstairs now, behaving like an angel as if nothing ever happened

 

Z

[Bullet]

I think you did the right thing. Better for your son to learn now that sometimes compromises have to be made than a few years later when he's at work.

[hev]

totally agree with what bullet says,i always feel terribly guilty when me and steve have had words but they need to know sometimes about meeting with us half way,hope things are settled now,take care love hev

[Suze]

<'> Zem it,s really hard on the other kids sometimes, our lives seem to revolve around our son more and his needs seem to be met before everyone elses.I don,t think it will have done too much damage to tell him a few home truths , I let my son know if he moans about stuff.Poor com has been through alot and I bet all this is due to school , the holiday etc and not really too much to do with the cat.Hope he copes o.k with those stitches, has he ever fancied a pet??..........fish , budgie, hamster, it might divert him and let him focus on his own animal, you could use it as bribery for being brave when the stitches come out <'> suzex

[Zemanski]

possibly a gecko, and he used to like phasmids (stick insects) when he was little but to be honest he really doesn't relate to animals at all and treats them as objects

 

got over the guilt now - we probably both just needed to let stuff out

 

Z

[CarerQuie]

I think that it was good for Dot that you bought the cat and a learning curve for Com.xx

[littlenemo]

a learning curve for Com.xx

It's just a tad hyperbolic at times!

[mrs phasmid]

possibly a gecko, and he used to like phasmids (stick insects) when he was little but to be honest he really doesn't relate to animals at all and treats them as objects

 

got over the guilt now - we probably both just needed to let stuff out

 

Z

 

so pleased Z, would he like some little phas' for the next six weeks to see how he gets on, they're no trouble really, just throw a little food in their cage from time to time

 

<'>

[littlenemo]

Com would love some - I remember our pink winged ones were so tiny they kept escaping through the netting when we first got them..

 

Z

[phasmid]

Ours show no sign of sprouting wings...zits perhaps but not wings!

[phasmid]

and their schools might wonder where they are in six weeks time if they don't appear

[littlenemo]

they were quite big before they got wings, I remember being quite astounded as I didn't know they were going to get wings - didn't know anything about them then.

 

Z